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_H_ View Drop Down
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    Posted: 04 February 2011 at 4:47pm
These is kind of embrassing but how do you ladies make new friends?

I moved a couple of years ago to be with DP and even though its only 1 hour away from my home town I dont really see much of my old friends. I dont have any really close friends and I really miss having some
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caliandjack View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote caliandjack Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 February 2011 at 4:52pm
I attend lots of meet ups with other OB ladies, AN group and activities with my little girl. Anything that's a chance to get out of the house and see other people.
Most of my friends are working or have older children having DD is a great opener for meeting people.

[/url]

Angel June 2012
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_H_ View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote _H_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 February 2011 at 5:00pm
I think you are right CJ babies/children are a great way to meet new people, but I dont have any yet
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_SMS_ View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote _SMS_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 February 2011 at 5:18pm
Ive got some good friends through OB also

But i dont really talk to any of my old friends if they dont have babies. Well not often. Its hard because your life changes so much and it seems you have nothing in common. Most my non-mum friends i see once a month. But my friends with kids i see weekly if not daily for coffee etc.

I dont really have a best friend anymore. I have grown apart from alot of people.

But your welcome to come hang with me Waiting. I get super bored at home and at night
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote myfullhouse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 February 2011 at 5:57pm
Yeah my kids are the reason for my close friends now
What about a sport or craft? Can you join a group where you will be able to meet people that have similar interests?
Lindsey


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ooEvaoo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 February 2011 at 6:57pm
It's not a silly topic. My school mates I hardly ever see, though I don't live in my hometown anymore. Might see them once or twice a year. Other mates I have are my classmates. But no real close mates. I use to attend coffee group back when DS was a baby. Maybe when I'm more confident in myself I'll make friends who I see regularly.







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BriAndOlisMum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BriAndOlisMum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 February 2011 at 7:02pm
I have no friends either. Where do you live?
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lilfatty View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lilfatty Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 February 2011 at 7:22pm
Most of my new friends (ie the ones I didnt grow up with) are through the kidlets or the gym.
Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months)

I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year LFs weight blog
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SBM Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 February 2011 at 7:34pm
Yup what those ladies said! ^^^

Put yourself out there, don't be discouraged if you don't click with people instantly, no one gets along with everyone! I made most of my post-baby friends by going to local playgroups, library story times, a local OB coffee group, meeting people from my due date thread who live in the same city, going to meetings where I might find like-minded people (like for me this was La Leche League), and I even started my own "group" (babywearing) which has opened so many doors for me! Find something you love, and do it! It won't happen overnight, but it will happen
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_H_ View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote _H_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 February 2011 at 7:37pm
Im in the Hutt Valley. I have just joined the gym and started playing netball so hopefully I might meet some people there

I would like to go to an OB meet up but feel a bit strange as i dont have any kids, maybe when you have 2 SMS i can borrow one
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote _SMS_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 February 2011 at 7:44pm
Originally posted by _Waiting_ _Waiting_ wrote:


I would like to go to an OB meet up but feel a bit strange as i dont have any kids, maybe when you have 2 SMS i can borrow one


You sure can. You get the older one who will talk about Dora non stop and run off
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caliandjack View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote caliandjack Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 February 2011 at 7:45pm
Meh I'd been going to OB meet up for years before I had my daughter. Everyone I've met from this forum is really lovely and just as easy to talk to IRL as they are online.

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Angel June 2012
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lilfatty View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lilfatty Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 February 2011 at 7:56pm
We had a pretty large gathering at the domain one year and quite a few forum people who hadnt had kids yet came along ..
Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months)

I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year LFs weight blog
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MuppetsMama Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 February 2011 at 8:37pm
I think it's harder to make friends as an adult, mainly because at school you could pick and choose who you hung out with and if you didn't like a certain group, you'd just join another one! But you sort of get stuck with people when you're older.... anyone else get what I mean, or am I on my own here??
I still meet up with 2 of my school friends fairly regularly, but don't really have any other friends. I'm happy though, I'm starting to get more involved in various things and meeting new people. I think that is the secret - just join a club! join a group, a playgroup for the kids, or hey why not go to church ;-)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote newme Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 February 2011 at 8:45pm
I also don't have any really close friends anymore, and I really really miss it. So I am also on a bit of a mission to make new friends this year. I go to Le Leche League and i have made some friends there.
I am also planning on going to the local MOPS, or Kiwi Mums I think it might be called now. You do crafts etc and church ladies look after your children. I am not religious though (this program is run through a Church), so hopefully this won't be a barrier to forming friends there.
Plus I am being proactive about forming relationships, which is something I haven't really done before - like if I meet someone who I quite like then actually making an effort to get in contact again and catch up for a coffee.

I would suggest that you get involved with an activity that you like doing. If you like to read, join a book club. If you like to sew, find out about attending a sewing class/group etc. Then you will have something in common to begin with and then you can move on from there.

Good luck, I know it is hard.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote High9 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 February 2011 at 9:33pm
Come to the Denny's meet ups! We're lovely ladies!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote busymum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 February 2011 at 9:41pm
It's hard, but it's really valuable too. We moved a similar distance about a year ago. I made a point of joining a church and playgroup right away and most of my friends are based there. If you don't work or enjoy sports, you'll probably enjoy hanging out with those types even if you don't have kiddies and they'll love having you there if you enjoy having little ones around or making coffees!! Mainly Music is another place where littlies abound and you can often team up with another mum - say one who has 2 or 3 preschoolers and feels like she's out of hands or energy.

If you don't want to hang around with little kids, join a sports or church group in the evenings.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote escadachic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 February 2011 at 11:07pm
I meet new people mainly through ohbaby meet ups/coffee groups or other coffee groups through online forums.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RachFizz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 February 2011 at 2:07am

We should start a childless OB meet lol. Or maybe there is one? I haven't checked.. I live in Palmy but am in the Hutt quite often (like now ) and would love to meet some of the OB ladies

 

Random time to post I know  I have trouble sleeping

 

edited to mention that it's not that I don't wanna meet ppl that do have kids! just meant a few of us who aren't there yet could hang together without feeling left out



Edited by RachFizz
TTC#1 since Apr11
On hold for study!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote _Lou_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 February 2011 at 10:36am
Waiting, it is so hard. I totally agree that when you get older, it does become harder to make good friends. I moved away from my home in CHCH up to the north island. I wouldn't change that for the world as it was the right move for us and we love our life here, it has meant I have left behind a solid network of good girlfiriends. I have been here for 2 years now, and I have made a couple of good friends, but my thing is that it takes a long time to build those friendships. They don't happen overnight! Its natural to grow apart from some people as your life changes as well. So i too decdided for 2011 that I needed to be more proactive and ask others to do stuff and not just wait to be asked. I can't say I am doing hugely well so far, but its always in the back of my mind. I am going to do a few new things and some girls from OB in central NI are going to meet up in April from the TTC threads.

I also think its hard when you have DH/DP too. I know I am guilty of not making so much of an effort cos I know I always have someone to do stuff with (well not shopping etc!!) but YKWIM
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