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RachFizz 
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 Topic: How would you REALLY feel?
Posted: 30 January 2011 at 2:28pm |
Hey all, DH and I have finally set a date to TTC, but I am going to be a bridesmaid for one of my best friends in September.
We're planning to wait til May, and it may take a while to conceive so probably wouldn't stand out very much, BUT if DH is happy to try earlier I would definitely want to and that would put me at 6 or 7 months at the wedding.
I haven't asked her (the bride) how she would feel about a bump in her BM line-up, but I have a feeling people would say they don't mind but secretly be annoyed..?
I really don't wanna take any attention away from her by standing out!
I'll be the 2nd BM of 4 (incl MOH)
So my question is: would it bother you to have a preggy bridesmaid?
Probably silly to worry bout this so long before it even happens but ah well may as well ask.
TIA for any comments
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Kazper
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 2:35pm |
Nope wouldn't bother me one bit. You wouldn't be stealing the attention I wouldn't think. The bride in the white is always going to have the most anyway 
I know one woman who was very particular. She even told her best friend she couldn't be a bridesmaid (she had 4 of them) because she was slightly over weight. She wanted them all to be similar build, height and had to be very attractive. I thought that was really horrible.
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Anonymous55
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 2:39pm |
 Kazper wrote:
She even told her best friend she couldn't be a bridesmaid (she had 4 of them) because she was slightly over weight. She wanted them all to be similar build, height and had to be very attractive. I thought that was really horrible. |
You're kidding me, right? 
That is one of the most horrible things I have heard of.
Karma is gonna get her back when her husband leaves her for a young chick one day! 
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peanut butter
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 2:46pm |
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Go for it! If she's a good friend, she will be so happy for you and not care in the slightest. When I was asked to be bridesmaid I had just found out I was preg. Wouldnt be at the time of the wedding but would be breastfeeding. Her other bridesmaid was due a week earlier!!! She wasnt fussed at all
Bumps at weddings are totally normal these days and just a sign of the family thing that a wedding and kids are. Pregnant bridesmaids are nothing...hell, pregnant brides are quite normal too.
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NovemberMum
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 2:46pm |
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nope would not bother me at all.
I certainly woudlnt tell one of my BM not to TTC before the wedding day that is decision between her and her partner. infact I wouldnt even expect her to tell me she is TTC.
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JD
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 2:47pm |
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Wouldnt bother me. I was pg and a bridesmaid twice (same pregnancy). The first one I was about 6 months and the last one I was 8 months. To be honest, it sucked a bit for me because i didn't look as nice (imo) as the other bridesmaides. when I was 8 months pg we had long red dresses and I felt like a huge red tomato instead of elegant like the others :-)
If she really is a friend, it shouldn't bother her in the least.
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myfullhouse
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 3:03pm |
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I wouldn't mind either.
I was about 7mths pg with Jack when I was a bridesmaid at Bro and SILs wedding. SIL was more than happy to still have me and there were only 2 BM's incl me. She decided on a 2 piece dress for us which worked well for me and I still looked good, plus it was easier for the dressmaker to alter just before the wedding day.
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fairy1
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 3:03pm |
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If she really is a friend then it shouldn't bother her as she would be happy for you. You would know your friend so if you think she will be a bridezilla then she probably would mind but you shouldn't out your plans on hold as it sounds like you have been thinking about it for a while.
I know my sister wouldn't like it and probably wouldn't have the person as a bridesmaid. She has a friend who she wasn't sure if to ask to be her bridesmaid because of the way she cut her hair. She decided to ask her since her hair would be longer then. I was bit surprised but then my sister is a bit odd.
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QTMum
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 3:07pm |
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nope me neither. One of my bridesmaids was pregnant and I can honestly say that i was not bothered at all. I was thrilled for her.
I think it would be a very strange sort of person to care about something like that.
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sbeach
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 3:13pm |
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I wouldnt mind... one of my BM was 5 months pg at my wedding... the only hassle was we had bought the dresses early (they were on sale) and then she found out she was UTD (a happy surprise) and we had to exchange her dress for a larger size but I didnt mind.
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RachFizz
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 4:11pm |
Thanks for all the replies ladies True spose it must be really common!
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busymum
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 4:14pm |
No probs, in fact would probably have been really excited for my preggy friend and hoping for something to rub off 
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caliandjack
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 4:23pm |
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Its pretty much near impossible to out do a woman in a big white dress, you'll be fine.
As you aren't utd yet you can't say for certain if you will be preggers or how far along you will be.
Dressmakers can easily accommodate you.
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Zaylah
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 4:43pm |
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My friend had two bridesmaids, myself and her sister. We were both pregnant and she was fine with it (well at least I think so! she knew her sister was pregnant and knew we were hoping to start trying). Definitely didn't take the spotlight away from her.
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Emmi_
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 4:46pm |
Nah I say go for it! I was 18w at my friends wedding (and one of 2 BM) the other BM was BFing. I looked fat (in that too many pies kinda way) but she didnt mind at all! I would have been 8m if I hadnt MCed, but I didnt think to run TTC past her
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High9
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 6:36pm |
I completely wouldn't mind, I mean it's life so it wouldn't bother me in the slightest! If you want you can run it by her but like someone else mentioned it's her day and everyone will be there for her so I don't think you'd take the attention away from her (no offense!) iygwim?
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Kazper
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 6:51pm |
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Remembering my wedding one of the bridesmaids was just going to have had a baby so I actually altered her dress for more comfort and made the straps so that it would be super easy for her to bf in during the evening.
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TheKelly
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 9:20pm |
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I was a pregnant bridesmaid, my friend didn't mind at all....if she had minded, I wouldn't have been in her wedding party and we probably wouldn't have been friends in the first place, cos she isn't the type to care.
A bit different, but my wedding I had to have my best friend, (had to as in,couldn't get married without her there ) and she has arthritis so is pretty skinny, so there was a lot of work involved altering her dress, making wraps to cover her arms,finding full length dresses cos she is ashamed of her legs (except when shes drunk....) but I didn't mind a bit,because my wedding would not have been perfect, had she not been in it.
I think if your friend is really a friend,she will just be happy for you.
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kandk
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 9:47pm |
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One of my bridesmaids was 8 months pg, and it was fine. Had to make sure she got a sturdy groomsman to escort her across the snow though!
She got the dress finally fitted only a few days beforehand.
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WestiesGirl
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Posted: 30 January 2011 at 10:25pm |
I say go for it too! I was in a similar situation when my best friend asked me to be her Matron of Honor, we were TTC, but I asked her as soon as she asked me if she was ok with the potential of me being pregnant. She was absolutely fine with it. As it happened, by the time she got married I had already had Jackson so it was all good anyways
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How would you REALLY feel?
