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my4beauties 
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 Topic: Would you help?
Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:22pm |
My brother was in a serious situation last night, where his BIL's arm got sliced open by a glass pane smashing and coming down on his arm. They were out in public so my brother was screaming out to cars passing for help, and saw a couple of people across the carpark from him sheltering themselves from the rain and was screaming out to them asking what road they were on to tell the 111 operator where they were. These people would've seen the situation, and the blood pouring all over the street, and yet they never came over to help. Eventually some people did see my brother waving and screaming out for help and came to their aid. But my brother is angry and stumped as to why these other people just stood there and didn't come over.
I KNOW if I ever came across something like that I'd be doing what I could to help out, not standing back and watching someone almost die.
Would you help, and if not what would your reasons be for not?
As it was, the people that helped, took the phone off my brother to give the 111 operator all the information as my brother was too hysterical to talk calmly enough. They brought an umbrella over and a blanket, and my brother says he wishes he could now thank them for their help as they were awesome. So it's not like they needed to physically touch this guy who was bleeding to death in order to help. No, he didn't die thankfully, but he cut a main artery and lost a tonne of blood, and had surgery on it for 4 hours through the night.
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My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) 
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Hopes
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:30pm |
 I'd like to think that I would have!!!! That's pretty off not to...
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rachndean
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:39pm |
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It has always baffled me that people won't come to the aid of somebody who desperately needs it. I wouldn't even hesitate!
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DD Savannah 18.01.04
DS Austin 04.09.08
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kellie
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:40pm |
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I would definitely help. That is so horrible just standing there watching the scene!!
When I was run over a women stopped her car straight away, ripped her sons tshirt off and put it against the cut on my head. I would like to think if I came across a situation I would be fast acting like her.
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peanut butter
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:40pm |
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Gosh yes..at the very least you'd be helping phone 111 and keeping crowds away or something. Hoping of course that someone is administering first aid!
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Bizzy
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:41pm |
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well if it was raining then the people across the road may not have seen or heard what he was saying and that can be quite scarey if all of a sudden you notice a screaming man next to a bleeding man in the pouring rain... I wouldnt judge them too harshly, you dont know what their circumstances were.
for me i suppose a lot would depend on what time of night or day it was, if i felt threatened, if i had the kids in the car... and if i didnt stop to help i wold probably have stopped further down the road and called the police to say something weird was up.
Of course if i had seen the whole thing i would have helped though.
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Babykatnz
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:51pm |
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Most of the time when I'm out in the car I'm by myself, with or without the kids... I prob wouldnt stop if some guy started yelling in my direction and another guy was bleeding, and during the night no less... I would however have rung the police and probably an ambulance once I was a safe distance away.
Maybe I've spent too long in South Auckland, but I wouldn't have stopped, unless DP was with me.
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Brandon - 05/12/2003  
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my4beauties
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:52pm |
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The fact that my brother was screaming out for ANY kind of help, and people in a car stopped because they saw he was waving to them and screaming, and they heard my brother ask them hysterically what road they were on and they answered him, to me sounds like THEY KNEW what was going on. They stood and watched as others came to his aid. I'm not going to think "oh maybe this or maybe that". I'm not judging them harshly, but moreso curious is to why people WOULDN'T help?!
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My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5)
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Babykatnz
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:53pm |
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Is it possible English wasnt their first language??
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Brandon - 05/12/2003
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my4beauties
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:53pm |
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This was 8pm, so still light (evening though it was raining), and in Mt Maunganui. Not a dangerous town at all. And my brother is not rough looking by any means.
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My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5)
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my4beauties
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:56pm |
They clearly understood my brother asking 'what road are we on', I'd say they spoke English. And whether you spoke english or not, seeing a man dying from blood loss is understandable in any language.
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My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5)
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Plushie
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:59pm |
Depends, if it was night, dark, and i was at a bus stop by myself and some random man comes screaming and yelling and bleeding across the road (when i might not be able to hear what they were saying - what if he's going "help, that man just stabbed me, call the cops" or something?) i wouldnt exactly be running over with blankets and cups of cocoa.
Terrible as it sounds if it was a screaming woman with a bleeding kid i'd probably run over to help straight away without hesitation.
If i were driving past i would stop (safe in my car) and wind the window down to see what the go was and assist further once i had assured myself this isnt some kind of murder.
Whatever the situation i would call 111 to let them know something was going on even if i didnt feel safe enough to stop myself.
Either i watch way to much reality crime tv and CSI or im not as good as i should be
edit: you crossposted a bit more while i wrote that, so the first bit isnt necessarily applicable to your situation anymore but i'll leave it as a general comment instead.
etaa: with the extra information i think i would have run to assist straight away without even thinking about it. I have all my first aid certs etc and have had serious arm injuries (froma knife) before and would want to help.
Edited by bowie
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Bizzy
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 2:57pm |
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there are lots of reasons why someone might not help. Didnt understand the language, was new to the city and didnt know where they were either, could have been stoned or drunk, could have been scared, worried about own safety... of course there are the not so good reasons like couldnt be bothered, didnt want to get wet, the whole dont get involved mentality...
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Lulu
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 3:53pm |
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I would like to think I would help. If I was with my DH or a group of people I would definately help. If I was on my own I would have to make an assessment as to my own safety. My Brother went to the aid of a lady who was being beat up by her boyfriend, he was smashing her head against a concrete wall. For his efforts he was punched in the face by the boyfriend, smashing his sunglasses into his eyes. I think this is the sort of thing that freaks people out and maybe stops them from helping.
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Peanut
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 4:49pm |
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In the situation you describe I would stop and help. No doubt. The only time I wouldn't is if I felt threatened by the situation.
I have stopped lots for car accidents etc so I don't see this as any different.
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jazzy
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 5:00pm |
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I am glad it work out in the end.
Lulu you have given a perfect example why many would not want to help. Even officials whose job it is to help often are put in situations where they are under threat & so on.
The first thing you are taught is to access the situation for safety, yours first then theirs. I can understand why some may of been scared off or for what ever reason did not run to help. I may of reached for my cell if it was a stormy night like last night seeing a couple of guys across the street screaming & blood everywhere. You just don't know what people see or interpret. Just because someone thinks they should of seen what happens or understand it do not make it so.
Half the time I have no idea the street names of the streets I use frequently.
I have been in a couple of situations where I have helped out...I could not walk away if someone needed help...but I would not put myself or my kids in danger helping.
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fairy1
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 5:17pm |
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If I felt threatened and was by myself (or with DS) I wouldn't go and help. If I had DS with me I would feel limited as to what I could do but I would try and help a bit, like phone 111. If I was by myself and felt safe I would definitely helped.
DH and I once went for walk down our street at midnight as we could hear a lady yelling for help, turned out she was the one causing the problem and was drunk and she walked away from the guy so we didn't need to do anything. I would have trouble leaving someone who needed help.
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my4beauties
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 5:26pm |
In that situation Lulu, your brother was very brave!! I've seen two dudes in a fight out on the street, well one dude beating up on another who was so drunk he couldn't even fight back. It was awful to see someone helpless getting beat up. There was another person lingering around and sort of trying to stop it from happening, and I drove around the block again and by that time it had settled down. I was by myself in the car and it was midnight, so no way I was getting out to do anything. But was prepared to call the police.
In this case, it wasn't late, it wasn't dark. The people responded to my brother twice to tell him the name of the street he was on. He screamed out to them to help, asked them the name of the street they were on - they replied. He repeated it back to them and they replied again what street it was.
It just added to his frustration of seeing his BIL bleeding so badly and having him go in and out of consciousness, and seeing people just standing there, not even walking away but staying there watching on.
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My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5)
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TheKelly
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 7:17pm |
In all honesty, as much as I would like to think I would just drop everything and help, it would have to depend on the situation, the time, whether I had the kids with me etc etc.
But at the very least I would call 111.....
Tho if it was your brother Anouska,I would go running  
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Kazper
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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 7:45pm |
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It amazing how people react differently. I would help yes and have done for people in the past.
I was hit by a truck biking home from school when I was 10. The driver went into shock when she saw me laying on the road and got back in her truck and took off. I was left there in the middle of the road with no one to help. To this day she would have no idea whether I survived or not.
I also know someone who I would have thought would help anyone in a bad situation, but she came accross a really bad accident one day and instead of helping she froze. Someone had to pull her from her car and drive it to the side of the road. She was completely useless, but no one held it against her. Its one of those things. Some people can't handle seeing someone hurt.
ETA I wasn't in the wrong for the bike accident. I was well on my side of the road and she came around the corner very fast in a 50km area. She hit the curb and took me out.
Edited by Kazper
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Would you help?
