Would you help?
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Topic: Would you help?
Posted By: my4beauties
Subject: Would you help?
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:22pm
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My brother was in a serious situation last night, where his BIL's arm got sliced open by a glass pane smashing and coming down on his arm. They were out in public so my brother was screaming out to cars passing for help, and saw a couple of people across the carpark from him sheltering themselves from the rain and was screaming out to them asking what road they were on to tell the 111 operator where they were. These people would've seen the situation, and the blood pouring all over the street, and yet they never came over to help. Eventually some people did see my brother waving and screaming out for help and came to their aid. But my brother is angry and stumped as to why these other people just stood there and didn't come over.
I KNOW if I ever came across something like that I'd be doing what I could to help out, not standing back and watching someone almost die.
Would you help, and if not what would your reasons be for not?
As it was, the people that helped, took the phone off my brother to give the 111 operator all the information as my brother was too hysterical to talk calmly enough. They brought an umbrella over and a blanket, and my brother says he wishes he could now thank them for their help as they were awesome. So it's not like they needed to physically touch this guy who was bleeding to death in order to help. No, he didn't die thankfully, but he cut a main artery and lost a tonne of blood, and had surgery on it for 4 hours through the night. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:30pm
 I'd like to think that I would have!!!! That's pretty off not to...-------------   
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Posted By: rachndean
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:39pm
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It has always baffled me that people won't come to the aid of somebody who desperately needs it. I wouldn't even hesitate! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
DD Savannah 18.01.04 DS Austin 04.09.08 |
Posted By: kellie
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:40pm
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I would definitely help. That is so horrible just standing there watching the scene!!
When I was run over a women stopped her car straight away, ripped her sons tshirt off and put it against the cut on my head. I would like to think if I came across a situation I would be fast acting like her. ------------- 
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:40pm
| Gosh yes..at the very least you'd be helping phone 111 and keeping crowds away or something. Hoping of course that someone is administering first aid! |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:41pm
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well if it was raining then the people across the road may not have seen or heard what he was saying and that can be quite scarey if all of a sudden you notice a screaming man next to a bleeding man in the pouring rain... I wouldnt judge them too harshly, you dont know what their circumstances were.
for me i suppose a lot would depend on what time of night or day it was, if i felt threatened, if i had the kids in the car... and if i didnt stop to help i wold probably have stopped further down the road and called the police to say something weird was up. Of course if i had seen the whole thing i would have helped though. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:51pm
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Most of the time when I'm out in the car I'm by myself, with or without the kids... I prob wouldnt stop if some guy started yelling in my direction and another guy was bleeding, and during the night no less... I would however have rung the police and probably an ambulance once I was a safe distance away.
Maybe I've spent too long in South Auckland, but I wouldn't have stopped, unless DP was with me. ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003  
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:52pm
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The fact that my brother was screaming out for ANY kind of help, and people in a car stopped because they saw he was waving to them and screaming, and they heard my brother ask them hysterically what road they were on and they answered him, to me sounds like THEY KNEW what was going on. They stood and watched as others came to his aid. I'm not going to think "oh maybe this or maybe that". I'm not judging them harshly, but moreso curious is to why people WOULDN'T help?! ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:53pm
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Is it possible English wasnt their first language?? ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:53pm
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This was 8pm, so still light (evening though it was raining), and in Mt Maunganui. Not a dangerous town at all. And my brother is not rough looking by any means. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:56pm
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They clearly understood my brother asking 'what road are we on', I'd say they spoke English. And whether you spoke english or not, seeing a man dying from blood loss is understandable in any language. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:59pm
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Depends, if it was night, dark, and i was at a bus stop by myself and some random man comes screaming and yelling and bleeding across the road (when i might not be able to hear what they were saying - what if he's going "help, that man just stabbed me, call the cops" or something?) i wouldnt exactly be running over with blankets and cups of cocoa.
Terrible as it sounds if it was a screaming woman with a bleeding kid i'd probably run over to help straight away without hesitation. If i were driving past i would stop (safe in my car) and wind the window down to see what the go was and assist further once i had assured myself this isnt some kind of murder. Whatever the situation i would call 111 to let them know something was going on even if i didnt feel safe enough to stop myself. Either i watch way to much reality crime tv and CSI or im not as good as i should be 
edit: you crossposted a bit more while i wrote that, so the first bit isnt necessarily applicable to your situation anymore but i'll leave it as a general comment instead. etaa: with the extra information i think i would have run to assist straight away without even thinking about it. I have all my first aid certs etc and have had serious arm injuries (froma knife) before and would want to help. |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 2:57pm
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there are lots of reasons why someone might not help. Didnt understand the language, was new to the city and didnt know where they were either, could have been stoned or drunk, could have been scared, worried about own safety... of course there are the not so good reasons like couldnt be bothered, didnt want to get wet, the whole dont get involved mentality... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Lulu
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 3:53pm
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I would like to think I would help. If I was with my DH or a group of people I would definately help. If I was on my own I would have to make an assessment as to my own safety. My Brother went to the aid of a lady who was being beat up by her boyfriend, he was smashing her head against a concrete wall. For his efforts he was punched in the face by the boyfriend, smashing his sunglasses into his eyes. I think this is the sort of thing that freaks people out and maybe stops them from helping. ------------- Lou http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 4:49pm
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In the situation you describe I would stop and help. No doubt. The only time I wouldn't is if I felt threatened by the situation.
I have stopped lots for car accidents etc so I don't see this as any different. -------------  
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 5:00pm
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I am glad it work out in the end.
Lulu you have given a perfect example why many would not want to help. Even officials whose job it is to help often are put in situations where they are under threat & so on. The first thing you are taught is to access the situation for safety, yours first then theirs. I can understand why some may of been scared off or for what ever reason did not run to help. I may of reached for my cell if it was a stormy night like last night seeing a couple of guys across the street screaming & blood everywhere. You just don't know what people see or interpret. Just because someone thinks they should of seen what happens or understand it do not make it so. Half the time I have no idea the street names of the streets I use frequently. I have been in a couple of situations where I have helped out...I could not walk away if someone needed help...but I would not put myself or my kids in danger helping. |
Posted By: fairy1
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 5:17pm
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If I felt threatened and was by myself (or with DS) I wouldn't go and help. If I had DS with me I would feel limited as to what I could do but I would try and help a bit, like phone 111. If I was by myself and felt safe I would definitely helped.
DH and I once went for walk down our street at midnight as we could hear a lady yelling for help, turned out she was the one causing the problem and was drunk and she walked away from the guy so we didn't need to do anything. I would have trouble leaving someone who needed help. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 5:26pm
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In that situation Lulu, your brother was very brave!! I've seen two dudes in a fight out on the street, well one dude beating up on another who was so drunk he couldn't even fight back. It was awful to see someone helpless getting beat up. There was another person lingering around and sort of trying to stop it from happening, and I drove around the block again and by that time it had settled down. I was by myself in the car and it was midnight, so no way I was getting out to do anything. But was prepared to call the police.
In this case, it wasn't late, it wasn't dark. The people responded to my brother twice to tell him the name of the street he was on. He screamed out to them to help, asked them the name of the street they were on - they replied. He repeated it back to them and they replied again what street it was.
It just added to his frustration of seeing his BIL bleeding so badly and having him go in and out of consciousness, and seeing people just standing there, not even walking away but staying there watching on. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 7:17pm
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In all honesty, as much as I would like to think I would just drop everything and help, it would have to depend on the situation, the time, whether I had the kids with me etc etc.
But at the very least I would call 111..... Tho if it was your brother Anouska,I would go running   ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Kazper
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 7:45pm
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It amazing how people react differently. I would help yes and have done for people in the past.
I was hit by a truck biking home from school when I was 10. The driver went into shock when she saw me laying on the road and got back in her truck and took off. I was left there in the middle of the road with no one to help. To this day she would have no idea whether I survived or not. I also know someone who I would have thought would help anyone in a bad situation, but she came accross a really bad accident one day and instead of helping she froze. Someone had to pull her from her car and drive it to the side of the road. She was completely useless, but no one held it against her. Its one of those things. Some people can't handle seeing someone hurt. ETA I wasn't in the wrong for the bike accident. I was well on my side of the road and she came around the corner very fast in a 50km area. She hit the curb and took me out. ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/545141" rel="nofollow">  |
Posted By: kiwi2
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 8:32pm
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I stopped for a man who was on the second storey of a building who got electricuted (concrete truck pump and power lines) and fell to the ground. We were on the way to the airport to drop my friend off. I made sure an ambulance was called and on its way before leaving him with his work mates and supervisor (who hadn't called the amulance) so I would like to think that I would help. But you just don't know until you are in the situation.
I am curious how did he do it? I probably missed it whilst ready the posts. |
Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 8:49pm
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Its a tough one, and people can often react badly especially when there is blood involved. At the very least calling the cops or an ambulance (or both) would have been a minimum! I have been a few situations where I have pulled over and provided assistance, and often do it with very little hesitation, but since I have had children its not as easy to jump in boots and all. I once came across a lady having a seizure on the side of the road, just laying on the grass verge fitting. I pulled up, left O in the car with the windows open (right next to me) and called an ambulance straight away, then looked after her until it came. When she stopped fitting she had no idea where she was or anything like that, so am really glad I stopped to help. I am a very firm believer in karma, so for me it would be really hard not to help someone in trouble. I hope your brother isnt too shaken up and that his friend is okay. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: bext1
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 10:08pm
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Yes, I would have to, how sad that the people didn't help! I think you would have a gut instinct to help, I know I would.
Glad he was OK, what an awful situation for both your brother and his BIL. ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Delli
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 10:37pm
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Could have been a number of reasons why they didn't help but one that comes to mind is that maybe they just had no clue as to how they should react or what they could do to help? They gave the name of the street and thought they best stay out of it so as not to get in the way?
Perhaps the brother didn't sound as coherent as he thinks he did? I remember having to run to the cowshed once to tell my dad that my younger sister was choking on a bead and for him to get to the house - Dad got me straight away and ran home but my grandad who was also in the cowshed at the time told me off for speaking too fast and not speaking clearly. In my mind, I had been totally clear.... I would hope that in that situation I would ask what I could do to help. You just never know though. There were a few situations in town in my uni days where in hindsight I felt I should have called emergency services or offered some assistance but at the time wondered "Should I? Shouldn't I? Would the police even care? Will the situation resolve itself?" and dithered about it until we had moved on or the other parties had moved on. My pet hate though is "rubber-neckers". People that crowd around a situation like that or slow right down to see what is going on but do nothing to help. Just keep moving people!  (It doesn't sound like these people were though as they were already in the car park before the brother asked for help).------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 30 January 2011 at 9:17am
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Sounds like you all have compassion and would help if it didn't risk your own safety.
In this case, there is no violence involved. My brother and his mate went into the entrance of an office building to shelter from the rain, and it sounds like the mate tripped and put his arm through the window, then the glass pane came down and sliced his arm open. My brother said he could see the bones and ligament. My brother heard the smash, turned to look and his mate fell back into his arms and told him to call 911 - yes 911 ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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. And it's a given Kelly - that you'd go running to help my brotherPosted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 30 January 2011 at 9:14pm
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[QUOTE=my4beauties] Sounds like you all have compassion and would help if it didn't risk your own safety. /QUOTE] you know it girl -------------
http://lilypie.com">
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