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princesssparkly 
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Joined: 08 February 2009
Location: Hawkes Bay
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 Topic: Tears of fustration
Posted: 19 January 2011 at 12:06am |
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Edited by princesssparkly
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sonnycraig
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Joined: 13 July 2010
Location: Mackay, AU. H.town - N.P, N.Z
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Posted: 19 January 2011 at 12:29am |
I too am in the same boat with the feelings of frustration at this moment too :( just found out the third couple of people we know are expecting, all very unstable relationships, they weren't ttc, within 7 months of trying. :(
Soo having a 'me' day tomorrow 
Hope you feel better soon princess!
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Atiamuri
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Joined: 21 April 2010
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Posted: 19 January 2011 at 8:08am |
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Your story sparked so many familiar emotions...
I too feel like I can't face any of our friends as they are all expecting which will turn into 6 babies in the next few months. It is a very lonely and isolating time that I feel will only be fixed by one tiny little miracle. How do you relate to people who are so happy and content?
We patiently wait, hoping month to month that this will be 'our' month so that we can join back in with the world.
Best wishes on your journeys ladies :)
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whitewave
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Joined: 04 July 2008
Location: Raetihi
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Posted: 19 January 2011 at 2:14pm |
Sorry to hear you've had such a bad time, your story made me cry.
I haven't had the same trauma to deal with, but I do have some idea of how you feel. I have just miscarried, after trying for 9 months to have our 2nd baby. Like you, I am very happy and lucky to have my beautiful son.
Big hugs, congrats on your recent dream wedding, and I really hope you get your baby soon.
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Nutella
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Christchurch
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Posted: 19 January 2011 at 3:24pm |
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Yeah, it is not easy to watch other people become pregnant when you are hoping for you own little baby.
Have you had any tests done to see why it is taking so long? If your Dr won't do any, then change Drs because after 12 months he should surely have done some tests??
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princesssparkly
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Joined: 08 February 2009
Location: Hawkes Bay
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Posted: 19 January 2011 at 10:53pm |
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Thank you ladies.
Edited by princesssparkly
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Orca1
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Joined: 18 February 2008
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Posted: 19 January 2011 at 11:05pm |
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Hi
I think you should go easy on yourself and don't beat yourself up for how you are feeling.
We have been trying for #2 for two years now and I just recently had my third miscarriage. I am like you and am blessed to have a child already but also realise its totally normal to have down days.
Good luck with your journey I hope that you have a healthy baby very soon!
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 DD born 2008  Oct 2009, April 2010, Dec 2010, June 2011 7 x IVF/ICSI/PGD = BFN
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louloubell
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Joined: 11 April 2010
Location: TAURANGA, NZ
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Posted: 19 January 2011 at 11:10pm |
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Hi Princesssparkly,
I totally understand how you are feeling :(
In the last month, 4 of my friend's have announced they are pregnant! Is there a baby boom or something going on? After an emotional 3yrs of trying and health issues thrown in... I find it hard to smile when I hear of someone's news. I now say to my husband that the green eyed monster will enter my soul and will be there for a while just to warn him.....lol
My new idea is to treat myself to a massage when I find out someone else is pregnant :-)
Chin up and sending lots of baby dust your way :-)
Lou
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princesssparkly
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Joined: 08 February 2009
Location: Hawkes Bay
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Posted: 19 January 2011 at 11:21pm |
Im loving the massage idea! 
It sure does feel like there is a babyboom happening. Especially when i was at the park this afternoon.
I am very greatful for your comments and well wishes girls. It is comforting to know that im not the only one trying to smile through the tears.
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Raspberryjam
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Joined: 07 November 2007
Location: north shore
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Posted: 19 January 2011 at 11:28pm |
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I have no idea how you are feeling, I just wanted to wish you the best of luck and I too hope that you get your wish x
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http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
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Atiamuri
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Joined: 21 April 2010
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Posted: 20 January 2011 at 8:27am |
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I also love the massage idea :) Yes it does seem like there is a baby boom happening. Does that mean we can play catch up on massages?? I think I may be in debt about 6??!!
DH and I are escaping to the beach for some time out this weekend - can't wait. Hopefully it will be lovely weather - always good to get some sunshine when you're feeling down.
I also find exercise helps (if only for a few days) - all of those endorphins running around must also be good for the 'girl systems'... trying to focus on constructive things...
Keep going girls - if we don't have hope there will be none!
xxx
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_H_
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Joined: 28 September 2009
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Posted: 20 January 2011 at 8:33am |
I would also like to know how to stop going crazy! TTC has taken over my life and some days i feel like im going mad. Doesnt help that things are really stressful at work 
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louloubell
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Joined: 11 April 2010
Location: TAURANGA, NZ
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Posted: 20 January 2011 at 11:06am |
hahaha @ Atiamuri - yes I think it does mean we have to catch up on a whole lot of massages!! I had one the another day and I must say I felt sooooo relaxed! So it must be good for the body, soul & mind.... I'm gonna start watching comedy movies too when I come back from my massage - I wanna laugh again!!
@ _waiting - I suppose the best advice about the craziness I can share is to try and get a new hobby. I'm starting yoga tonight and I've just started French classes, so try and get some distraction, it works for me at the moment...Working is tough whilst going through this, I remember I felt like screaming when my colleagues use to say 'you just gotta stop thinking about it!' LOL easier said than done I use to say.....BUT honestly, reading, movies (especially comedies) & hobbies are the way forward to EASE the craziness!! 
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Tiff8ny
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Location: Auckland
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Posted: 20 January 2011 at 1:04pm |
 _Waiting_ wrote:
I would also like to know how to stop going crazy! TTC has taken over my life and some days i feel like im going mad. Doesnt help that things are really stressful at work |
I am the same waiting!! TTC has so taken over my life for the past 3 years and I hate it!
Im sorry to hear about your unfair journey princess, I can kind of relate to how you feel (except the miscarriage part). Everyone seems to be pregnant at the mo!!! I pray you get your BFP soon! Good luck x
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Me 32, DH 30 TTC 4+ years Unexplained Infertility IVF#1 - Chem Pregnancy,no frosties IVF#2 - BFP!!!! Plus 1 frostie 
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princesssparkly
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Location: Hawkes Bay
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Posted: 21 January 2011 at 3:51pm |
Thanks ladies.
I am taking up the massage idea.
DH has offered to give me a massage everyday when we get pregnant too! even more incentive hehe
I wont be relaxing much this weekend as i am moving house but the first thing that will be set up is our bed for BD!!!!!!! I have some beautiful white linen that we got as a wedding gift so it will be like being in a hotel room 
Have a great weekend everyone. Ill be back when i have internet access
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Inkedpixie
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Posted: 21 January 2011 at 5:25pm |
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Woohoo! If it's massage catch up time I'm owed 12 from the last 3 months alone- 21 if you go back a year. Bring on the back rubs!
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louloubell
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Location: TAURANGA, NZ
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Posted: 23 January 2011 at 8:25am |
princesssparkly - glad you like the massage idea 
you'll feel much better emotionally after you have one.... my husband is trying to re-program my mind into thinking - 'well if she can get pregnant, so can I' - it is starting to work! Remember, miracles happen everyday.... take care. hope all goes well for you
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Flossie
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Posted: 25 January 2011 at 4:04pm |
You know what, I think it sucks what you have been through!
Sending massive hugs your way 
I will be having my fingers and toes crossed that in the very near future you get the BFP that you so want!
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princesssparkly
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Posted: 31 January 2011 at 4:18pm |
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We have moved house and unpacked. We have also broken in our new white wedding linen. Fingers crossed for this month :-)
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cheekymonkeysmum
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Posted: 01 February 2011 at 10:12pm |
princesssparkly wrote:
Help!
I have turned into one of “those” woman that bursts into tears at hearing the wonderful news that yet another close friend is unexpectedly expecting a baby.....
Unfortunately not tears of joy for them but selfishly tears of frustration behind the toilet door (pretending that i really had to pee) at the fact that we are having trouble conceiving.
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princessparkly you are not alone. I started reading your message and thought OMG that is me (and thank goodness I'm not alone with feeling like this either).
I'm a extemely proud mummy to my 3.5 year old (who was a miracle cause we had been trying for years upon years with no luck and forever disappointment ) I'm so grateful to have her in my life but i feel like my family isn't complete (also after trying for so long it pushed me into being a older mummy which means time is not on my side) and I only want one more so i can give all the love I have that has overflowed from my daughter to another child...but luck isn't on my side at all and I'm to the stage of just giving up and spoil my child rotten with love...
I don't know what to tell you how to survive all of this without going crazy..my defense is to hide away from everyone and try and deal with it in my own time (let me come to terms with my grief..which it is grief).
Good luck with what ideas the other ladies in our boat give you. hopefully something will help
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Tears of fustration
