Tears of fustration
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37551
Printed Date: 25 August 2025 at 12:47pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.10 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Tears of fustration
Posted By: princesssparkly
Subject: Tears of fustration
Date Posted: 19 January 2011 at 12:06am
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Replies:
Posted By: sonnycraig
Date Posted: 19 January 2011 at 12:29am
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I too am in the same boat with the feelings of frustration at this moment too :( just found out the third couple of people we know are expecting, all very unstable relationships, they weren't ttc, within 7 months of trying. :(
Soo having a 'me' day tomorrow 
Hope you feel better soon princess! |
Posted By: Atiamuri
Date Posted: 19 January 2011 at 8:08am
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Your story sparked so many familiar emotions...
I too feel like I can't face any of our friends as they are all expecting which will turn into 6 babies in the next few months. It is a very lonely and isolating time that I feel will only be fixed by one tiny little miracle. How do you relate to people who are so happy and content? We patiently wait, hoping month to month that this will be 'our' month so that we can join back in with the world. Best wishes on your journeys ladies :) |
Posted By: whitewave
Date Posted: 19 January 2011 at 2:14pm
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Sorry to hear you've had such a bad time, your story made me cry.
I haven't had the same trauma to deal with, but I do have some idea of how you feel. I have just miscarried, after trying for 9 months to have our 2nd baby. Like you, I am very happy and lucky to have my beautiful son. Big hugs, congrats on your recent dream wedding, and I really hope you get your baby soon. |
Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 19 January 2011 at 3:24pm
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Yeah, it is not easy to watch other people become pregnant when you are hoping for you own little baby.
Have you had any tests done to see why it is taking so long? If your Dr won't do any, then change Drs because after 12 months he should surely have done some tests?? ------------- 
 Oct 11
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Posted By: princesssparkly
Date Posted: 19 January 2011 at 10:53pm
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Thank you ladies.
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Posted By: Orca1
Date Posted: 19 January 2011 at 11:05pm
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Hi
I think you should go easy on yourself and don't beat yourself up for how you are feeling. We have been trying for #2 for two years now and I just recently had my third miscarriage. I am like you and am blessed to have a child already but also realise its totally normal to have down days. Good luck with your journey I hope that you have a healthy baby very soon! -------------  DD born 2008 Oct 2009, April 2010, Dec 2010, June 20117 x IVF/ICSI/PGD = BFN |
Posted By: louloubell
Date Posted: 19 January 2011 at 11:10pm
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Hi Princesssparkly,
I totally understand how you are feeling :( In the last month, 4 of my friend's have announced they are pregnant! Is there a baby boom or something going on? After an emotional 3yrs of trying and health issues thrown in... I find it hard to smile when I hear of someone's news. I now say to my husband that the green eyed monster will enter my soul and will be there for a while just to warn him.....lol My new idea is to treat myself to a massage when I find out someone else is pregnant :-) Chin up and sending lots of baby dust your way :-) Lou |
Posted By: princesssparkly
Date Posted: 19 January 2011 at 11:21pm
Im loving the massage idea! 
It sure does feel like there is a babyboom happening. Especially when i was at the park this afternoon. I am very greatful for your comments and well wishes girls. It is comforting to know that im not the only one trying to smile through the tears. |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 19 January 2011 at 11:28pm
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I have no idea how you are feeling, I just wanted to wish you the best of luck and I too hope that you get your wish x ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
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Posted By: Atiamuri
Date Posted: 20 January 2011 at 8:27am
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I also love the massage idea :) Yes it does seem like there is a baby boom happening. Does that mean we can play catch up on massages?? I think I may be in debt about 6??!!
DH and I are escaping to the beach for some time out this weekend - can't wait. Hopefully it will be lovely weather - always good to get some sunshine when you're feeling down. I also find exercise helps (if only for a few days) - all of those endorphins running around must also be good for the 'girl systems'... trying to focus on constructive things... Keep going girls - if we don't have hope there will be none! xxx |
Posted By: _H_
Date Posted: 20 January 2011 at 8:33am
I would also like to know how to stop going crazy! TTC has taken over my life and some days i feel like im going mad. Doesnt help that things are really stressful at work  ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: louloubell
Date Posted: 20 January 2011 at 11:06am
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hahaha @ Atiamuri - yes I think it does mean we have to catch up on a whole lot of massages!! I had one the another day and I must say I felt sooooo relaxed! So it must be good for the body, soul & mind.... I'm gonna start watching comedy movies too when I come back from my massage - I wanna laugh again!!
@ _waiting - I suppose the best advice about the craziness I can share is to try and get a new hobby. I'm starting yoga tonight and I've just started French classes, so try and get some distraction, it works for me at the moment...Working is tough whilst going through this, I remember I felt like screaming when my colleagues use to say 'you just gotta stop thinking about it!' LOL easier said than done I use to say.....BUT honestly, reading, movies (especially comedies) & hobbies are the way forward to EASE the craziness!! 
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Posted By: Tiff8ny
Date Posted: 20 January 2011 at 1:04pm
I am the same waiting!! TTC has so taken over my life for the past 3 years and I hate it! Im sorry to hear about your unfair journey princess, I can kind of relate to how you feel (except the miscarriage part). Everyone seems to be pregnant at the mo!!! I pray you get your BFP soon! Good luck x ------------- Me 32, DH 30 TTC 4+ years Unexplained Infertility IVF#1 - Chem Pregnancy,no frosties IVF#2 - BFP!!!! Plus 1 frostie 
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_Waiting_ wrote:Posted By: princesssparkly
Date Posted: 21 January 2011 at 3:51pm
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Thanks ladies.
I am taking up the massage idea. DH has offered to give me a massage everyday when we get pregnant too! even more incentive hehe
I wont be relaxing much this weekend as i am moving house but the first thing that will be set up is our bed for BD!!!!!!! I have some beautiful white linen that we got as a wedding gift so it will be like being in a hotel room 
Have a great weekend everyone. Ill be back when i have internet access |
Posted By: Inkedpixie
Date Posted: 21 January 2011 at 5:25pm
| Woohoo! If it's massage catch up time I'm owed 12 from the last 3 months alone- 21 if you go back a year. Bring on the back rubs! |
Posted By: louloubell
Date Posted: 23 January 2011 at 8:25am
princesssparkly - glad you like the massage idea 
you'll feel much better emotionally after you have one.... my husband is trying to re-program my mind into thinking - 'well if she can get pregnant, so can I' - it is starting to work! Remember, miracles happen everyday.... take care. hope all goes well for you
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Posted By: Flossie
Date Posted: 25 January 2011 at 4:04pm
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You know what, I think it sucks what you have been through! Sending massive hugs your way I will be having my fingers and toes crossed that in the very near future you get the BFP that you so want! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: princesssparkly
Date Posted: 31 January 2011 at 4:18pm
| We have moved house and unpacked. We have also broken in our new white wedding linen. Fingers crossed for this month :-) |
Posted By: cheekymonkeysmum
Date Posted: 01 February 2011 at 10:12pm
princessparkly you are not alone. I started reading your message and thought OMG that is me (and thank goodness I'm not alone with feeling like this either). I'm a extemely proud mummy to my 3.5 year old (who was a miracle cause we had been trying for years upon years with no luck and forever disappointment ) I'm so grateful to have her in my life but i feel like my family isn't complete (also after trying for so long it pushed me into being a older mummy which means time is not on my side) and I only want one more so i can give all the love I have that has overflowed from my daughter to another child...but luck isn't on my side at all and I'm to the stage of just giving up and spoil my child rotten with love... I don't know what to tell you how to survive all of this without going crazy..my defense is to hide away from everyone and try and deal with it in my own time (let me come to terms with my grief..which it is grief). Good luck with what ideas the other ladies in our boat give you. hopefully something will help ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: skylar
Date Posted: 16 February 2011 at 8:10am
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God I am so glad that I am not the only one who cries behind closed doors everytime someone else announces their pregnancies, it's really heartbreaking especially when a number of my friends either had or expecting baby #2...it absolutely SUCKS!
My journey has been 26months now, although at 6months into my journey we got BFP only to MC and since then we haven't had any success, what makes the process worse is that this TTC consumes me! I saw my GP who wasn't any help whatsoever, he suggested I just relax and it will help!!! hmmmmm....try telling a woman who is stressed out about it to relax, I could have jumped over his desk and shaken the silly man! Anyway I find reading and joining in to these forums quite therapeutic as who best to talk to than people who are going through the same journey as you. Out of interest I am visiting an naturopath this weekend...fingers crossed! She was recommended to me by a friend who went through the same journey as all of us and struggled to hold her pregnancies, she had had a number of m/c and after her visit to natruopath and by making a few changes to her lifestyle and by also using some supplements she successfully managed to hold a pregnancy, it took a few months but when you have so much heartache it was well worth it. So have my fingers and toes crossed that this will help me in my journey, otherwise I guess I am going to have to go and see the fertility specialist. |
Posted By: _Lou_
Date Posted: 16 February 2011 at 8:26pm
Good luck Skylar, I really hope the naturopath works well for you
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Posted By: princesssparkly
Date Posted: 17 February 2011 at 8:31pm
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Hi Cheekymonkeysmum and Skylar
I hope that you are both doing well. Im with you on wanting to strangle the next person that tells me to relax! I have started hypnotherapy and have started on magnesium suppliments and fish oil. So far the babydancing in the new house has not produced a BFP. Skylar please tell us how you get on at the naturopath this weekend :-) |
Posted By: skylar
Date Posted: 23 February 2011 at 4:26pm
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Natruopath went really well ladies! has given me a renewed passion for my TTC journey. Who knows if it will work, but the lady I visited has a good reputation and has been practicing for 20yrs so that stands for something huh?
She practices iridology (looks into your iris') and found some things that need work. My thyroid is working a bit slower than it should, causing my left ovary to also work slower that normal. Also, she said I am a very stressed out person, not just from TTC but I also carry alot of stress through my work - which when you hear someone else say it she is quite correct. So armed with that information I have been given a few things to take/do, thyronurse for my thyroid gland, nutricalm for my stress, OPK's to complete on days 11,12,13 of my cycle nothing unusual there and more so for my own peace of mind - not ovualting well no need to get my hopes up, then finally just gotta take my temp of days 1-5 of cycle just to check thyroid is improving if that is the right word. So no magic answers really, and certainly not up the duff walking out of her office...but definitely feel alot more optimistic especially at this stage during my TTC journey. |
Posted By: princesssparkly
Date Posted: 24 February 2011 at 5:16pm
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Thanks for updating us Skylar. That is great that is has given you more optimism :-)
I have been reading a new book called "Bump & Grind, the a-z survival guide for when your trying to get pregnant and sick of being told to relax!" by Genevieve Morton. Its a great book and i have laughed out loud a lot of times :-) |
Posted By: princesssparkly
Date Posted: 27 February 2011 at 4:25pm
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More tears of fustration...
my DH has just got his results from his sperm count. DH said that it is not too bad but from what i have read it is not fantastic either......4 million per ml "normal is 20 million per ml" the dr did say that the sample was healthy so that is good. I have an apt with my GP tomorrow and will ask to be referred to Fertility Associates :-( Dr has recommended Menovit. I have tried not to make too many suggestions to DH as i think he has taken the news hard. Has anyone eles partners had a similar result? |
Posted By: _H_
Date Posted: 27 February 2011 at 5:15pm
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DF's were worse then that ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: skylar
Date Posted: 17 April 2011 at 7:57pm
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Hey ladies, well as per my last post I went and visited natruopath who renewed my enthusiasm for my TTC journey and now 2 months since my visit and after 28 months of TTC we got a faint +ve day after AF was due and didn't arrive!
AF has a habit of arriving on time each month if not before so I had a feeling something was up. Although faint +ve makes me nervous though, went to Dr on Friday who also got faint +ve too, he has suggested I wait until tomorrow and go do bloods to confirm. Really excited only DH knows, but because we've gone through pain of m/c I am a little worried. EDD will be 22/12/11 if all goes well...a Christmas baby! Have to say my visit with natruopath really helped me out. fingers and toes are all crossed
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Posted By: RachFizz
Date Posted: 17 April 2011 at 11:27pm
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Hi ladies, I was just lurking, but wanted to say hugest congrats to you skylar! Hope it's a sticky one ------------- TTC#1 since Apr11 On hold for study! |
Posted By: Ashleya
Date Posted: 19 April 2011 at 10:18pm
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Hi skylar your last post made me so happy i couldnt hold back a tear. I always feel bed when i get asked how long it took to conceive my daughter (on first try). I lie and say about a year sometimes just so they still want to keep talking to me. Im so happy for you! Something in my head told me your having a boy! I hope i have a wee man for the next one :) Good luck for tomorrow! ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: princesssparkly
Date Posted: 23 April 2011 at 9:53pm
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Congrats Skylar that is awesome news that you are expecting a Christmas baby :-)
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Posted By: skylar
Date Posted: 24 April 2011 at 3:39pm
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well ladies bit of an update, got my blood test results Thurs, confirmed +ve but have to go back for another test next week (obviously cause HCG levels are low - although to be expected given it is realitively early)
Anyway, have had some light bleeding and cramping last couple of days, namely in the morning (fri, sat & today) really really worried it is m/c. If I cast my mind back to previous m/c it was at similar stage and started out the same. I feel like I no longer have any symptoms, previously I was feeling a little bloated, bit of cramping and needed to go loo more than normal...and now nothing. I don't even have sore boobs
Really feeling sad and down, not sure if I should go the hospital or if I should just wait until Tues to see my GP???? I hope history isn't repeating itself....very sad
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Posted By: frangipanigirl
Date Posted: 24 April 2011 at 10:29pm
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Well I have to say the green eyed monster has moved in with me this weekend!! Found out my Sis is UTD. When I told her we were ttc she decided they would too and it happened first month for her yet I'm upto cycle 6 now!! It's just not fair, and she is 9 weeks and only just told me yesterday yet for last few months been talking heaps bout ttc! I'm happy for her but gutted at same time. I don't even want to speak to her now think I just need some time to come to grips with it! Don't know how I'm going to manage if we don't get our BFP soon!
Sorry bout the vent just needed to get it out ( normally I vent to her!) How have others coped when it's someone u really close to? ------------- 1st round IVF 7 Eggs, 6 fertilised, 1 transferred with 5 on ice! http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: princesssparkly
Date Posted: 24 April 2011 at 10:30pm
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Im very sorry to hear this skylar
Having had a m/c myself i can remember the anxiety and worry. Tuesday is a long time to wait  go to the hospital if it makes you feel better chicky.
My thoughts are with you ------------- |
Posted By: princesssparkly
Date Posted: 25 April 2011 at 1:09pm
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Hi pocohontas
Im with you. I just txt my bestfriend and asked what time she was going to pick up the fertility books and ovulation kits (TTC is damaging my relationship with my hubby so we have decided to stop - long story!)So on Friday i was taking to her and said that she can use them. Turns out she doesnt need to borrow the book or tests because just got a +ve test result. Im very excited for her :-) we had our daughters together 8 years ago but feeling like its not fair! Im getting to the stage that i am thinking about selling all my baby gear (from my daughter and nephews) on trade-me. I cant stand going into the spare room seeing the cot and baby gear anymore
I guess ill just spoil her child and offer to babysit lots ------------- |
Posted By: skylar
Date Posted: 25 April 2011 at 2:15pm
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Pocohantas & Princesssparkly ~ I can so relate to you both my bf and my sister both got pregnant twice and had their two gorgeous bubbas in the time I have been trying, that was extremely painful! not to mention the 100 other friends and acquaintances that also got preggas as well - maybe 100 is an exaggeration but it sure feels like it!
The worse part is going along to baby showers, and welcoming new babies...smiling and being really nice and interested when I was actually totally heart broken. It makes me feel bad because I should be happy for them, but I just can't help but feel jealous. TTC is such a long and heart breaking road, especially when there is some expectation on you...I find people are continuously asking when I am going to have a baby without even realising that I am trying!!! I did find my visit to the natruopath 8weeks ago renewed my optimisim and look at me now I am 5wks and 4 days preggas now (although not sure if I am currently having a m/c, fingers crossed it goes well at Drs this week when I go. The natruopath made me feel better about myself, she didn't promise anything except to get my body healthy to conceive I was sceptical at first but when you're like me well into the long journey I was willing to try anything before having to admit that I might need to investigate the possibility of infertility. |
Posted By: _Soda_
Date Posted: 29 April 2011 at 9:05pm
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hi ladies
just didnt want to read and run, i TTCd for my little girl for over a year, and concieved after being diagnosed with PCOS and taking metformin and Clomid..no a year and a bit in the scheme of things isnt long, but a the time, to me it felt like forever. (having people say "oh a year is nothing! i ttcd for xxx amount of years so you cant complain blablabla.."made me want to scream!!  a BFN is a BFN, no matter how long youve been trying, it hurts to find out you cant naturally conceive..) finding out my sister was preg after literally their first try (like THE very first try!) and not having my GP believe me and actually LAUGH at me when i asked for bloods to check my hormone levels when i knew deep down something wasnt right..yeah..it felt like id never hold my own baby in my arms! i just wanted to say that its so hard to want a baby SOOO much- but wanting something that much is a good thing! because you know you are passionate about being a Mummy, if you were completely blasé about it all month after month after month,and didnt feel even a bit of disappointment, then youd have to wonder how much you wanted the baby then ay..so in a horrible, round about way, its a good thing (if that makes sense??)- and if you are feeling this awful with the disappointment and frustration now, imagine how good the feelings will be once you ARE holding your baby in your arms finally!! trust me, nothing compares, and it is totally worth every second of waiting and it WILL happen so dont give up!!
good luck ladies, and babydust to you all!!! x x x ------------- My little miracle 6/1/2011 My angel in Heaven 9/5/14 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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