His sleeping is getting worse....

.....and I feel like it must be my fault

I have posted here so many times about sleep, so I'm sorry to repeat a bit, but you guys always manage to make me feel better. Today I need some of that

My 10.5 month old son has never been the best sleeper. However things improved to such a point where he was having two or three good naps during the day and waking once at night. Oh to only wake once now!

A few weeks ago (I think) the night wakings went to two, sometimes three, now sometimes four    I have changed NOTHING and I don't understand why he can't self settle anymore.

These days even the day sleeps are a battle at times, and I am at a total loss as to why. All I can think is that I am "giving in" to him too much, as I don't want to let him cry. During the night I do try to settle him other ways, but usually end up b/fing him and he goes straight back to sleep.

I am worried that he is getting worse because of what *I* am doing

I am going back to work in Feb, and won't cope on the amount of sleep I am getting right now. I prayed he would just get better of his own accord, but it seems to be going in the opposite direction and I think CIO may be the only option.

Just needed to vent I guess. It makes me so sad and unsure of myself

Hugs 1st time preggies.
I'm worried too as have to go back to work in March p/time. Not sure how we will all cope, esp as I will have to work nights, and there wont be any comfort boobies around.
One thought, we are starting to try DS with one nap a day. I know all the experts recommend doing this at 1 or so, but we are fighting to get him to have his 2nd nap of the day, and will end up having to feed him/cuddle/rock him to sleep and he wont go down till 4pm!
The last couple of days, he has gone down better. But hard to say given the excitement with xmas and all.
Do you think your DS could need to drop a nap?
Its is seriously hard work this whole mothering thing. Sounds like your doing an awesome job!

About 2 weeks ago (13th Dec to be exact), Lily was going through a phase (had been about a month) where she was trying to drop a day nap (but still needed it and would often need to be in bed by 5pm without it).

Anyway I decided to 'get tough' imo. Due to her going to bed at 5pm, she'd often wake at 5am! (Arghh!) and need her first nap at about 8am would sleep magically for 1.5-3 hours depending and at about 10am when she woke she'd be up for anywhere from 2.5-3 or 4 hours! Then this after noon nap about 1 - she would fight so hard! So in the end she was crying because she was tired and I just left her to it, surely enough after leaving her for 3 mins to cry (not distressed) I went in, reasurred her (made her giggle) and slowly left again (with her peaking under the bumper as I left facing her) and left her again for 5 mins, then 10 but we never got to 10 because she went to sleep (yay!!) (so this was her 8am nap) and we did the same for her 2nd nap too (and it worked!) now she goes down for all her day sleeps like this and her night sleep too but she still can't seem to self settle over night (still waking about twice) and she refuses water in a cup, straw sippy cup, sippy cup... Only a BF will do and she won't take a dummy at all so imo it's easier for me to just get up quickly for 5 mins feed her and put her back to bed and I go back to bed too - totally less stressful and I am confident that one day she will suddenly sleep through!
Also about a week ago - her first tooth popped through.

Things I have noticed though is with the heat she is still wanting that 'nap' at about 5.30pm sometimes and sometimes she'll sleep until 7.30! and then be up for a couple of hours and so is going to bed when it gets dark... Not ideal but won't complain if it means she sleeps in past 5!

Only other things I can think of is how is he going food wise? How many meals a day + snacks?

Teeth could be another issue...

Separation anxiety at all?

Also try hard not to stress out too much about it, things WILL get better even though it may not feel like it!

I agree with Bizzy, if it works and means less stress for both you and bubba, just go with it.

My son is definitely not a good sleeper, but any account, but he went through a patch of good sleeping for about 2 weeks and I got so excited about it all, but so quickly he went back to the waking every 2-3hours and only sleeping 30mins at a time during the day. Just remember, it won't always be like this. I tend to think that if they are waking and/or crying it is because they need something. Even if that is just reassurance that Mummy is still there than so be it. They are only small for such a small time. Which doesn't exactly help when you are so sleep deprived, but I think it is what it is.

I have set our room up with the cot as a side car and it means we all get a much better sleep, it is just a matter of nursing when he wakes and we all roll over and go back to sleep, easy as.

I also agree with Bizzy and MamaT, if it works then I would go with it.

We are having sleep issues now, DS was a fantastic sleeper from 8 weeks - 10 months and since then hasn't slept through the night once. He started getting teeth and then started to crawl and has also been unwell a couple of times so I think all that plus the heat has just put his sleeping habits out. His night sleeps are ok-ish (waking on average 3-4 times a night). Usually he just wants water and 15ish minutes of cuddles but lately we've been co-sleeping from around 4am which I never said I'd do but we all get some sleep so I figure why not! But day sleeps are pretty much non-existant at the moment and I'm just going with it and trying not to stress too much.

Hugs to you and I hope things improve with whatever you decide to do

I agree with the 'do what ever is easier' suggestions too. Jackson would go through patterns of sleeping through the nightg to waking up to 3 times a night. I just went with it cos I knew it wouldnt last forever and sure enough, at 12 months it stopped and has since slept through the night.

I fed to sleep over night and never worried about it becoming an issue or a habit and it didnt Most times now, if he wakes during the night, he settles himself back to sleep. If he doesnt, its cos something else is wrong.

Big hugs 1st_Time_Preggies it's a bit of a guessing game with a lot of trial and error but please don't blame yourself cos it's not your fault, I'm sure you are doing a fabulous job!

I'd probably have to agree with the ideas of just doing what works at the time. If it helps resolve any issues quickly and allows you to get some sleep and less stress then it's definately worth it as nothing lasts forever and can't be changed in future.

We've never had too much waking at night but often had a lot of problems with day sleeps and have found that dropping to two day sleeps has pretty much fixed it.

Sorry I can't offer any solutions but maybe just try noting down what times sleeps are at and then try changing them slightly to see if you get any improvement.

Lots of hugs and good luck. Keep up the great work!

Hugs to you! My boy used to sleep great in the first part of the night & then wake 2 hourly after that. It was far easier to go in & just feed him & he'd go back to sleep. Coincidently when I stopped b/fing & put him on neocate he started sleeping though. There was no way I would have made it back to work either, luckily I had the option of staying home.

I would try a gentle way of soothing him back to sleep & if that fails, check like t-Rex said to make sure there are no underlying problems.

Huge hugs! I know how tiring it must feel!

Do you think there could be an underlying issue somewhere? Something you could possibly have missed?

Not your fault...its $$&&** hard to work out what to do some times!

If it was me I'd get a professional in to have a good objective look at him and help you through is sleep issues. Maybe call the sleepstore for some recommendations?

Also eliminate medical issues. i have three friends with different bubs with sleep issues ATM. Each had a diferent issues, being moved when asleep, self settling, and teething, so many different things contribute.