His sleeping is getting worse....
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Topic: His sleeping is getting worse....
Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Subject: His sleeping is getting worse....
Date Posted: 26 December 2010 at 9:03pm
.....and I feel like it must be my fault 
I have posted here so many times about sleep, so I'm sorry to repeat a bit, but you guys always manage to make me feel better. Today I need some of that 
My 10.5 month old son has never been the best sleeper. However things improved to such a point where he was having two or three good naps during the day and waking once at night. Oh to only wake once now! A few weeks ago (I think) the night wakings went to two, sometimes three, now sometimes four  I have changed NOTHING and I don't understand why he can't self settle anymore.
These days even the day sleeps are a battle at times, and I am at a total loss as to why. All I can think is that I am "giving in" to him too much, as I don't want to let him cry. During the night I do try to settle him other ways, but usually end up b/fing him and he goes straight back to sleep. I am worried that he is getting worse because of what *I* am doing 
I am going back to work in Feb, and won't cope on the amount of sleep I am getting right now. I prayed he would just get better of his own accord, but it seems to be going in the opposite direction and I think CIO may be the only option. Just needed to vent I guess. It makes me so sad and unsure of myself
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Replies:
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 26 December 2010 at 9:33pm
| it will come right. the heat might be playing havoc with his sleep at the moment too. I think personally at the end of the day that just feeding them back to sleep is quicker and less stressful! |
Posted By: bebebaby
Date Posted: 26 December 2010 at 9:44pm
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Hugs 1st time preggies.
I'm worried too as have to go back to work in March p/time. Not sure how we will all cope, esp as I will have to work nights, and there wont be any comfort boobies around.
One thought, we are starting to try DS with one nap a day. I know all the experts recommend doing this at 1 or so, but we are fighting to get him to have his 2nd nap of the day, and will end up having to feed him/cuddle/rock him to sleep and he wont go down till 4pm! The last couple of days, he has gone down better. But hard to say given the excitement with xmas and all. Do you think your DS could need to drop a nap? Its is seriously hard work this whole mothering thing. Sounds like your doing an awesome job! ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: pudgy
Date Posted: 26 December 2010 at 9:56pm
 for you , sleep deprivation is the pits.
There is nothing wrong with not letting your baby cry. i she waking because he's hungry ? Does he feed back to sleep easily enough ? If so I would just do that especially it means less awake time for you. Bizzy is right it's usually a stage that passes 
Have you had a read of The NO Cry Sleep Solution ? It's has lots of really helpful stuff an avoids CIO. HTH
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 27 December 2010 at 6:15am
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About 2 weeks ago (13th Dec to be exact), Lily was going through a phase (had been about a month) where she was trying to drop a day nap (but still needed it and would often need to be in bed by 5pm without it).
Anyway I decided to 'get tough' imo. Due to her going to bed at 5pm, she'd often wake at 5am! (Arghh!) and need her first nap at about 8am would sleep magically for 1.5-3 hours depending and at about 10am when she woke she'd be up for anywhere from 2.5-3 or 4 hours! Then this after noon nap about 1 - she would fight so hard! So in the end she was crying because she was tired and I just left her to it, surely enough after leaving her for 3 mins to cry (not distressed) I went in, reasurred her (made her giggle) and slowly left again (with her peaking under the bumper as I left facing her) and left her again for 5 mins, then 10 but we never got to 10 because she went to sleep (yay!!) (so this was her 8am nap) and we did the same for her 2nd nap too (and it worked!) now she goes down for all her day sleeps like this and her night sleep too but she still can't seem to self settle over night (still waking about twice) and she refuses water in a cup, straw sippy cup, sippy cup... Only a BF will do and she won't take a dummy at all so imo it's easier for me to just get up quickly for 5 mins feed her and put her back to bed and I go back to bed too - totally less stressful and I am confident that one day she will suddenly sleep through!
Also about a week ago - her first tooth popped through. Things I have noticed though is with the heat she is still wanting that 'nap' at about 5.30pm sometimes and sometimes she'll sleep until 7.30! and then be up for a couple of hours and so is going to bed when it gets dark... Not ideal but won't complain if it means she sleeps in past 5! Only other things I can think of is how is he going food wise? How many meals a day + snacks? Teeth could be another issue... Separation anxiety at all? Also try hard not to stress out too much about it, things WILL get better even though it may not feel like it! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 27 December 2010 at 6:19am
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Another thought re the night sleeps is co sleeping or side carring if you are keen...
We did this a few weeks back and it was AMAZING how much better Lily slept, she slept right through from 10-7am! But it wasn't quite ideal for DP (who ended up on the floor or couch) and our bed isn't really big enough for the 3 of us to safely co sleep and our room isn't big enough to attach the cot onto our bed either! But I know of a few other mums who rave about the above. But still - it's not for everyone and seems to be an 'each to their own' topic. But if you haven't tried it and you are desperate enough it could be worth looking into. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MamaT
Date Posted: 27 December 2010 at 12:34pm
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I agree with Bizzy, if it works and means less stress for both you and bubba, just go with it.
My son is definitely not a good sleeper, but any account, but he went through a patch of good sleeping for about 2 weeks and I got so excited about it all, but so quickly he went back to the waking every 2-3hours and only sleeping 30mins at a time during the day. Just remember, it won't always be like this. I tend to think that if they are waking and/or crying it is because they need something. Even if that is just reassurance that Mummy is still there than so be it. They are only small for such a small time. Which doesn't exactly help when you are so sleep deprived, but I think it is what it is. I have set our room up with the cot as a side car and it means we all get a much better sleep, it is just a matter of nursing when he wakes and we all roll over and go back to sleep, easy as. -------------  
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Posted By: newme
Date Posted: 27 December 2010 at 12:55pm
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I just PM'ed you about the no-cry sleep solution, if you want it, I can email it to you.
DS1 was a TERRIBLE sleeper. CIO did not work, it made him very clingy and upset afterwards, and made me feel horrible and depressed. The one thing that worked the best for us, in getting him to sleep through the night, was to stop breastfeeding during the night. It was really really difficult to do, and took a couple of nights of sitting up with him having lots of cuddles, while he screamed and cried wanting to feed, but after 2 nights of this, he slept through the night for the first time. He had been waking 5 - 6 times, sometimes more, prior to this. After I night weaned him, he still wakes sometimes, but is much easier to settle, and DH can also settle him, rather than it always coming down to me bf-ing him. However DS was 20 months when I did this. All kids go through stages, and the sleep patterns change. Often this happens around the time when big milestones are achieved (like starting to crawl, walk etc). I don't think that cuddling and comforting your baby is 'giving in', it will be helping him as he must really want and need that comfort, and although it is hard now, things will improve (I know, I've been there!). Also, we ended up co-sleeping, which was great, and I really recommend it, if you want to continue night feeding. However, this can be hard to stop! |
Posted By: MrsEmma
Date Posted: 27 December 2010 at 8:07pm
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I also agree with Bizzy and MamaT, if it works then I would go with it.
We are having sleep issues now, DS was a fantastic sleeper from 8 weeks - 10 months and since then hasn't slept through the night once. He started getting teeth and then started to crawl and has also been unwell a couple of times so I think all that plus the heat has just put his sleeping habits out. His night sleeps are ok-ish (waking on average 3-4 times a night). Usually he just wants water and 15ish minutes of cuddles but lately we've been co-sleeping from around 4am which I never said I'd do but we all get some sleep so I figure why not! But day sleeps are pretty much non-existant at the moment and I'm just going with it and trying not to stress too much. Hugs to you and I hope things improve with whatever you decide to do ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 28 December 2010 at 1:04pm
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I have never been able to do CIO, Ive tried, and it just drives me mental, I can sleep through it, plus it makes me feel bad.
At nearly 11 months my kids were only have one good day sleep, and then sleeping through the night *mostly* DS was a great sleeper, DD not so much! Im wondering whether you should try just one good day sleep and then him having dinner at 5ish and then in bed by 6.30/7 for the night... Just a thought I know its hard but its still very normal for babies to wake at night, and sometimes they carry on doing it as toddlers(my DD is 16 months and still waking).------------- |
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 28 December 2010 at 3:22pm
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I agree with the 'do what ever is easier' suggestions too. Jackson would go through patterns of sleeping through the nightg to waking up to 3 times a night. I just went with it cos I knew it wouldnt last forever and sure enough, at 12 months it stopped and has since slept through the night.
I fed to sleep over night and never worried about it becoming an issue or a habit and it didnt Most times now, if he wakes during the night, he settles himself back to sleep. If he doesnt, its cos something else is wrong.------------- Our Angel July 08  Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 28 December 2010 at 7:14pm
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What are your current strategies that you are trying to improve his sleep. Have you had a really good go with the no-cry strategies?
I've tried and failed with them for about 8 months now, then DD got her grommets in 5 days ago, and I've renewed my effort with the strategies, and last night, only 2 wakeups (down from 10+ this time last week, pre-grommets). So they can work, if there is no underlying health problems. Go bump up my sleep logs thread if you like? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MyPeas
Date Posted: 28 December 2010 at 7:31pm
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Big hugs 1st_Time_Preggies it's a bit of a guessing game with a lot of trial and error but please don't blame yourself cos it's not your fault, I'm sure you are doing a fabulous job!
I'd probably have to agree with the ideas of just doing what works at the time. If it helps resolve any issues quickly and allows you to get some sleep and less stress then it's definately worth it as nothing lasts forever and can't be changed in future. We've never had too much waking at night but often had a lot of problems with day sleeps and have found that dropping to two day sleeps has pretty much fixed it. Sorry I can't offer any solutions but maybe just try noting down what times sleeps are at and then try changing them slightly to see if you get any improvement. Lots of hugs and good luck. Keep up the great work! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: hils10
Date Posted: 29 December 2010 at 10:37am
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I can totally sympathsize with this - my 11 month old is going through phases of waking up 4 times a night at the moment. It seems like she does that for a few nights in a row, then goes back to her "good" sleeping of only waking twice and sleeping stretches of 4-6 hrs in between. Just when I think her sleep is finally improving we have another session of 4x wakeups for several nights!
I am also at a total loss as well as to what changes on those bad nights, and wonder if its what we are doing - but I figure that because on some nights she can settle herself and sleep longer its probably because she's uncomfortable in some way. I mostly put it down to teething as our little one has yet to get any teeth but I can feel they're not far away under the gums. We try to only feed twice over night and often she will resettle without a feed but will then wake up again after one more sleep cycle. One thing I've found is that if you try to resettle without a feed, then give in and feed anyway it makes it much harder, as they know they can hold out and will eventually get a feed. I found its better to decide if youre going to feed and offer it straight away rather than trying other strategies first. I'Also have you tried having your DH settle him? That often works better for us if we're trying to resettle without a feed (but my DP looks after our DD during the day if I'm at work, so she is used to being settled by him). Its great to hear other peoples experiences and hear people say that eventually they all sleep through, but its hard to imagine when night wakeups have been going on for months with no improvement! I guess we just have to hang in there! |
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 29 December 2010 at 11:02pm
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Hugs to you! My boy used to sleep great in the first part of the night & then wake 2 hourly after that. It was far easier to go in & just feed him & he'd go back to sleep. Coincidently when I stopped b/fing & put him on neocate he started sleeping though. There was no way I would have made it back to work either, luckily I had the option of staying home.
I would try a gentle way of soothing him back to sleep & if that fails, check like t-Rex said to make sure there are no underlying problems. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 30 December 2010 at 7:14am
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Thank you all so much for your replies. It is soooo good to have some support!
Well the nights are still BAD, last night particularly. I have tried other things to get him to sleep, but basically he won't accept anything (dummy, DH, rocking, etc). I guess that is because he knows eventually I will give in and feed. It is gotten so bad that he won't even settle at bedtime I am at a total loss as to why, as he USED to be able to self settle day and night.
I was hoping it was just a phase and that it would pass (and like you lil_nic he would just magically sleep through!) but I am starting to think it is becoming a habit that I am helping to continue, so I need to do something about it. I am struggling with the lack of sleep (I suffer from coldsores, and have two horrendous ones at the moment!) and I'm sure it isn't good for him either. He is grumpier than usual and cries over EVERYTHING. I thought some of it could be teeth and the heat, but it has been going on for too long now! Sorry for the babble 
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 30 December 2010 at 8:00am
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Huge hugs! I know how tiring it must feel!
Do you think there could be an underlying issue somewhere? Something you could possibly have missed? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 30 December 2010 at 10:33am
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I tried to wean DD off sucking to sleep a couple of months ago (dummy or BF). Basically I held her and walked/rocked until she went to sleep. The first night she screamed for nearly 2 hours (I was exhausted by the end of it), the second night she screamed for pretty much the same length of time. After 3 weeks, we were down to "she'd go to sleep after about half an hour of screaming, if I was lucky". I gave up and put the dummy back in, thinking to myself "how come my baby doesn't do what the book says?" - everyone else had said a few nights and it's all good.
I tried again 3 nights ago. First night she cried for 18 minutes, second night for 7, last night for 2. Turns out she IS a standard baby, the previous carry-on was pain related. How long can your boy carry on for? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: millymollymandy
Date Posted: 30 December 2010 at 2:04pm
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Not your fault...its $$&&** hard to work out what to do some times!
If it was me I'd get a professional in to have a good objective look at him and help you through is sleep issues. Maybe call the sleepstore for some recommendations? Also eliminate medical issues. i have three friends with different bubs with sleep issues ATM. Each had a diferent issues, being moved when asleep, self settling, and teething, so many different things contribute. |
Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 30 December 2010 at 8:41pm
Well I started to wonder if there is some issue that I hadn't thought of??? Medically wise I mean. He USED to just wake once in the night, quick feed and back to sleep. But would self settle to sleep for all naps and at night time. Now most naps are a battle, as is bedtime, and wakes 2-6 times. My DH thinks it is because he is becoming more "manupulative" but I am not sure. Or am I just being a mum who thinks her baby couldn't do that 
Tonight my hubby gave him a bottle and tried to put him to bed and he wouldn't have a bar of it. I went in a few times to see if he would settle and in the end just fed him cause I am so tired Thing is, if I try to pull him off before he is asleep, he screams and protests until I put him back on.
This is all just not like him!!!! He has never been the best sleeper but this is ridiculous. My hubby is threatening to kick me out of the house and use controlled crying for three nights to see if he is just "using me".....
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Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 30 December 2010 at 11:15pm
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Is he serious? I mean, actually, really serious? Babies do not manipulate people! That is such a man thing to say though, and this is a really good article I found that maybe your hubby could look at to understand why your baby isn't *using you* (well OK he is, but only to have his needs met as a little human being!)
http://www.drmomma.org/2010/10/babies-arent-soldiers.html - Babies Aren't Soldiers There are also a couple of comprehensive sections compiled by that same blog related to infant sleep, the links are at the bottom of the article I posted above - plenty of bedtime reading! If it's any comfort, my DD2 is 17 months and has only just recently started sleeping through more consistently - although it's not every night it's *most* nights and that's good enough for me! She also night weaned about 6 weeks ago, but of her own volition - so it does happen in time. I was tired, and frustrated, and really strongly considering actively night weaning her well before that but just kept putting it off for "just one more week"... as there can be just so many things going on for our little ones as they grow and develop. In other words, it's not your fault! ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 31 December 2010 at 1:28am
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Oh lordy!! Sorry, but your DH needs to get a grip Your baby is just, being a baby... You are doing a great job
I went through this as well, but from 9 weeks to 4 months old. My DS would cry at every nap and bed time, I tried everything, and in the end I resorted to feeding to sleep and it does get frustrating and tiring, but you just do what works. I fed DS to sleep (at bed time and over night) from 4 months to 12 months old. Since 12 months and now at 16 months he settles himself just fine. Hang in there, it does get better. ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 31 December 2010 at 7:14am
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So Westiesgirl, there was nothing "wrong" with your son? I am tempted to get DS checked out at the Dr just in case there is something I am missing. But I wonder whether I am just convincing myself that there must be something wrong to explain it all!
If you guys don't mind I might keep a bit of a log and let you know what the Dr says (which I think will be he is fine!) Thanks so much for all your support
So yesterday: - woke screaming at 6am, bf, up for the day - breakfast 8am toast and fruit - nap in car for 3/4 from 9.45am - snack 11am - lunch 12.30pm - bf 1.15pm - nap 2pm: fell asleep of his own accord but woke totally hysterical 3/4 of an hour later. Very hard to consol. B/f. - snack 4pm - dinner 5.15pm: pasta - bottle 6.30pm, story, song Then our night went like this: - to bed at 7.10pm - screamed and cried in cot for 7 min (couldn't last any longer!!!) - went in, consoled, lay him back down, left the room, crying hysterically for another 5 min - went back in and lay him down, left the room - at 7.35pm gave in and fed, fell asleep, however I tried pulling him off early and he got hysterical again - gave him more boob, eventually fell asleep 7.45pm - first wake up 11pm, b/f, back to sleep - 2nd wake up 1.15am, bf back to sleep. Not entirely asleep, but laying next to me I could SEE him trying to sleep and something kept waking him and upsetting him. Eventually (after 10 min) in a deep sleep - 3rd wake up 4am: b/f to sleep - 6.10am wake, bf in bed, had a nap but was crying/moaning a bit on and off in sleep - woke for the day 6.30am Phew. I am tired just reading over that 
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Posted By: MamaT
Date Posted: 31 December 2010 at 8:23am
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Your bubs sounds very similar to my little guy. He won't go to sleep on his own accord, I BF him to sleep for every single one of his sleeps (day and night). Although he generally sleeps 1.5hours for his day sleeps now, so I know he can put himself back to sleep.
For a while he would wake up 30min - 1hour after going down and just scream and scream, sometimes a quick BF and back to bed worked, other times I would just have to get him up and go about our day again, which naturally led to a very tired and grumpy wee boy, but it was all I could do. Unfortunately you can't make them sleep, if only it were as easy as flicking a switch. Like Westiesgirld & Hippymama said, your baby is not manipulating you, seriously if a child was able to do that at such a young age you would likely have a genius on your hands Babies need what they need, and their only way of communicating that is to cry.
It will get better, not straight away, and once it gets better you may well go on to having another few weeks of hell, but it WILL NOT last forever. Just hang in there hun -------------
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Posted By: millymollymandy
Date Posted: 31 December 2010 at 8:53am
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I don't that 10 month can manipulate people. Looking at it logically, people, adults included, use a series of props to go to sleep, whether that be reading a book or bf. So if his way of settling is BF, then if he's not gone to sleep when put him down or when he wakes up he ask for more because that's is comfort for going to sleep. Action - reaction.
His sleep diary mirrors DD's at a similiar age. 7 months later is is a great sleeper. Sleep problems are only problems if you think they are. Some people, as the post above says, are quite happy to feed at night and have a waking toddler, which is fine. But I actually don't think you are fine with this are you? Tired Mum, tired baby and grumpy husband = receipe for unhappiness. I suffer from depression if I don't get sleep and with 2-3 hours a night I was in serious danger of harming me or god forbid the baby. As a child I would force my Mum to take me to bed and refuse to stay up late! So I totally understand why you wouldn't want months and months of broken sleep. If it were me I would take of for a night or three and leave DH to sort it (although he does need to realise that DS is not being naughty) if does work (which if consistent, clam and with lots of cuddles and support it will), great, if it doesn't then at least it will shut DH up. And it can't get any worse. I don't mean to sound harsh, its just I have soooo been there, very anxious very depressed and at my wits end. I would also perhaps move his last BF before bed to about 10 mins before you put him down rather than 45 mins. gotta go - off to the beach to wear the toddler out for a good nap! |
Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 31 December 2010 at 9:19am
| So Mama T, has your bubs always been b/f to sleep? My DS USED to be able to self settle for all naps, and this has "only" been going on for the last six weeks. I don't understand what has changed! Do you still b/f at night or does your bubba sleep through? |
Posted By: Lightning McQueen
Date Posted: 31 December 2010 at 10:37am
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T (nearly 10 months) always used to self settled for all naps and during the night, and had slept through the night from about 3 months’ old. Then he went through a major teething phase (6 teeth in 8 weeks) at about 7 months and I got into the habit of giving him a bottle to help him get back to sleep when he woke during the night. It was only 60mls, but it clearly became a sleep aid for him, because once all the teeth were through he would still need the bottle to get back to sleep, and one wake up at night gradually became 4. It got to the point where he would have a couple of sucks on his bottle and then just fall asleep so he wasn’t hungry, but he wouldn’t go back to sleep without being offered a bottle.
As Milly Molly Mandy has said, it’s only a sleep problem if you think it is. I’m back at work and was really struggling with the lack of sleep, so for me it was a problem. Once I realised that, I had to do something and break what had become a habit for me and for him. There were tears, but I started by offering water instead in case he was thirsty (that didn’t go down too well), moving on to cuddles instead of a bottle and then popping him in his cot awake and giving verbal reassurance, and coming back in every 5 minutes till he went to sleep. We got there, and now he’s back to sleeping through pretty consistently (although who knows what’s around the corner! The main thing I found that helped me was deciding that there was a problem and that I had to do something about it, and that I had to be consistent. Whatever approach you take, you need to feel comfortable with. |
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 31 December 2010 at 10:44am
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If you think that something might be bothering him, ie ears, teeth, tummy. Pamol him one night...see if he goes to sleep easily. If he does then take him to a doc to get him checked out.
Men just don't get it do they! Also not saying that your boy has reflux, but my boy's reflux didn't get picked up on til around 10-11 months. He used to moan & writhe around in bed. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com">
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 31 December 2010 at 11:55am
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Anything new happening?
I take back my statement on DD selfsettling to sleep, she learned to crawl and now it's not happening because she can move about and get's stuck *sigh* so I've resorted to day sleeps and her night sleep feeding her to sleep in our bed (she won't feed to sleep being held anymore ) and with her night sleep after an hour I move her to her own room... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 31 December 2010 at 12:11pm
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Good point with the pamol Kels.
Remember that habits in babies are formed (and broken) fairly quickly, so if he's been BF to sleep for 6 weeks, he's not going to suddenly remember that he used to self settle and go back to it. Either you have to wait it out - because eventually he'll sleep longer, or do something about it. Judging by your sleep log, your baby and mine are in very similar sleeping patterns (only for me, I'm over the moon with the greatness of it compared to how it was pre-grommets), but nevertheless, I'd like it better than it is too. I will not make my baby cry it out though, so here is what I'm doing: Before changing anything, I established a sleep story for DD. Everytime I fed her to sleep I repeated her story over and over again (it's called "time for bed" by Mem Fox I think, but any story thats easy to repeat over and over will do. Once I had it memorised, and it had become a sleep association for her (i think!), i moved to phase 2. Instead of letting her fall asleep on the breast, once she was done drinking (still sucking a bit, but done drinking), I took her off and cuddled her to me and we walked. Up and down her room, with me repeating her story over and over calmly and gently. She raged and fought for several minutes, before settling down, then raging again. Set yourself a limit - say 30 or 40 minutes. Keep calm and relaxed as best you can (it's hard, I know). Once she was asleep, I put her down, picking her up and walking some more if she woke when I did so. The first 2 nights, she woke twice within the first 2 hours and I went back to pacing and pacing and storytelling till she slept again. For the night wakings, I was too tired to pace, so I fed her to sleep again. Maybe I'd see quicker results if I paced those too, I'm not sure, but I have my limits - I was tired!! The third night she was asleep within 20 minutes with only a tiny bit of grizzling. I think I would have preferred to take things a bit slower, but I've got a month off work and want to get the hard stuff done by then, so last night we moved on to phase 3. I fed her, took her off once she was done, walked her for maybe 2 minutes until she was over being taken off the breast, then popped her in the cot and sat beside it. Still endlessly repeating the story. It took 57 minutes for her to fall asleep, but very little of that was crying, and I was right there with her all the time. She eventually fell asleep holding my hand in one hand and her teddy in the other. Today, I put her down for her nap in much the same fashion (only I didn't BF at all, cos she'd just had lunch), and she cried a bit more but was asleep in 13 minutes. Again I was right there story telling. We also have a good bedtime routine that is the same every night, so that she knows it's bedtime and can start relaxing for it. There are lots of options besides cry it out, but you have to do something if you want it to change. And it sounds like you do. It sucks though eh? I really do know how hard it is to be consistent and patient when you just want to sleep! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: hils10
Date Posted: 31 December 2010 at 4:38pm
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My DD also used to self-settle and has trouble with it these days - she's just so alert and active its really hard for her to switch off. I think babies change so much as they get older that you can't take what they were doing at 5-6 months and expect that the same approach will work at 11 months (its taken me a while to accept that she needs a lot more help with settling these days).
I would also try the pamol thing if I were you. And maybe also stop battling with him for a few nights and give him whatever he needs to sleep well and feel secure - and then start again with whatever approach you choose to improve his settling. I know with our little one when she has a few nights of bad sleep she gets really overtired and even harder to settle and it can easily become a vicious cycle. At least you might be able to get him a little happier and less tired before you start trying to teach him to settle again. |
Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 01 January 2011 at 7:43am
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Thanks ladies, your support and advice is soooo appreciated!!!
Well yesterday I put DS down later than normal for his morning nap to see if that made any difference. It did! I put him in bed at 9.45am, and he played for a bit and then lay down and slept for an hour!!!!! I thought I had cracked it, but then I put him down for his afternoon nap at 2.30pm and he played for a bit before crying Left him for half an hour before he started to get really upset, so got him up. He ended up napping in the car for half an hour at 5pm on the way to a friends place for dinner!
So his bedtime routine was out of whack due to being elsewhere. We didn't bath him etc, however when I got him home, I read him a story and sung to him like I always do. Gave him a bf, and put him in bed a bit drowsy but awake at 8.30pm and he went straight to sleep! HOWEVER. The rest of the night went like this: - 12am (yip in time for NY's!): awake, bf, straight back to sleep - 12.16am awake and screaming, after some rocking and cuddling, back to sleep - 12.20am awake and screaming, tried rocking, cuddling, walking, tried to bf, wouldn't have a bar of it - 12.35pm gave nurofen for kids (cause I didn't know what else to do), then paced up and down the hallway for 20 min, finally asleep by 1am - 2.45am awake, bf back to sleep - 7am awake for the day (but still woke crying) I just don't know what is up with him. Sometimes his sleeps are okay and sometimes he screams. The wake up at midnight made me think there IS something hurting/bothering him??? Or is that just "wishful" thinking??? IYKWIM. And if there is something wrong what could it be???? So this is my plan at this stage. Tonight: give pamol/nurofen an hour before bed and see if that makes any difference to him going to sleep (thanks for the suggestion!) 5 Jan: take him to the Dr for a thorough check up (that is when they are open again) If he is given the all clear, then that night I am going to stay two doors down at my SIL and let him DH try to settle him (he is on days off then). He has been (and will be) given strict instructions NOT to let him just CIO, but I think we will try something like verbal reassurance. I am thinking of saying though, that if he cries for longer than say 1 1/2 hours that my DH should come get me? Or does that defeat the purpose. Sorry for the long post again. It is so great to have a sounding board.
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Posted By: thetravelbugtribe
Date Posted: 01 January 2011 at 9:29am
| Sorry if I'm repeating anything, I havent read the whole thread yet, just the last message. That sounds just like my DD, the waking and screaming. Hers was in her first 6-7 weeks and after some repeatedly telling the midwife something was up, she was diagnosed with silent reflux. We took her to the doctor who immediately agreed - two of her kids had been exactly the same. I dont want to say that this is what is wrong here, and I really should read the whole thread before adding too much more. |
Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 01 January 2011 at 9:54am
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twotravelbugs, my DS was a shocking day sleeper in the first five months, and I SELF diagnosed silent reflux. He was put on losec as my insistance, but I'm not sure it was actually that. He improved but I have to wonder whether that was him growing up rather than the medicine. Looking back I think the main problem was too much milk (I had a huge supply), overfeeding, wind and overtired
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Posted By: naysgirl
Date Posted: 01 January 2011 at 11:18am
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Does your DS have a lot of wind? When my DS was younger he often used to wake up after about half and hour screaming, I would go in and pick him and he would have a few burps to come out but I could see that he was still tired so the wind was waking him up.
Even sometimes now he will wake up screaming and have wind. It just seems that if he is waking up screaming that something is uncomfortable for him. I hope you find a solution or get to the bottom of what is happening with your wee man. Just remember you are doing a great job ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 01 January 2011 at 11:48am
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The one major difference I've noticed with DD pre and post-grommets is beforehand, she'd be screaming before she was even fully awake - the pain was causing her to cry and wake up. Now, she wakes up, and then if she wants me for something, cries. It's a very different order of things. If he's crying before he's even fully awake, I don't think it's simply that he wants you to BF him back to sleep. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: millymollymandy
Date Posted: 01 January 2011 at 12:08pm
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1 TP - I would recommend getting hold of the sleep easy solution DVD, for DH to watch, its got a really good explanation of how to do Verbal reassurance. basically shows how to set up a good settling routine and how to give them comfort when learning to sleep. Try You Tube - it might have some free clips maybe?
I wouldn't come back after 1 1/2 hours, because if you do and settle him another way, you have let him cry for that long for nothing. (Was advice I had from a friend). T-Rex - great news about the grommets, sound like its really helping. |
Posted By: Speck8
Date Posted: 01 January 2011 at 1:46pm
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Sounds like a good plan 1st_Time_Preggies!
I've read many of your posts and I can tell that the night wakings really bother you - I was exactly the same! I think it's fine for people to say things like "just roll with it", "it won't last forever", "go with the flow" but if you're not that type of person which it doesn't sound like you are, then it kind of doesn't help really. Before I read your plan, I was gonna say develop a solid plan and stick to it!!!! Whatever that plan is doesn't matter, as long as you stick to it. As for DH coming to get you after 1.5 hours - well that kind of defeats the purpose. You're already going to have a restless sleep thinking how's my poor baby getting on but if you just go to bed trusting DH to deal with the situation then at least you can rush home at 6 or 7am or whenever to see how it went rather than lying in bed waiting for the phone call. GOOD LUCK!!!!! You should write a book about this ;) Oh and finally you will feel A MILLION BUCKS once you get this sorted, plus DS will feel great too once he gets a full nights sleep. So just hold on to those thoughts :) |
Posted By: millymollymandy
Date Posted: 01 January 2011 at 5:31pm
| speck8 - totally second your post |
Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 02 January 2011 at 7:19am
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And the waking continues!
Went down perfectly for his morning nap yesterday at 10am for an hour, slept in the car for his afternoon nap on the way to a friends. We got home, did his usual routine, he had a good dinner and feed (so not hungry) but then SCREAMED for 15 min when I put him in his cot. Maybe he just doesn't want to go to bed? I find it really hard to calm him down before bedtime. We read stories and sing, but I find he is ALWAYS wriggling and trying to get down. Any ideas how I can make him more relaxed and ready for bed? Anyway, I didn't feed him to sleep (yay!) but cuddled him and walked around singing our bedtime song and eventually he fell asleep. Then the waking: - 9pm: gave nurofen to see if that would help, bf, back to sleep - 10pm: bf - 11pm: bf (so guessing pain wasn't the issue?) - 3.30am: woke but was wet, so changed (while screaming), then bf back to sleep - 6.45am: woke for the day I had a nightmare (and woke up soaked) that we left him to cry for two hours and he still wouldn't sleep
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Posted By: Lizze
Date Posted: 02 January 2011 at 9:33am
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Just wanted to let you know that your diary is identical to ours as well, lol
Almost 12 months old, and the best stretch he can do during the night is 3 hours, then he is up 1-2 hourly screaming, but we can give him pamol and it helps him sleep longer. We have resorted to co-sleeping from about 2am when I go and sleep in his room so DP can get a good sleep for work. I don't want to give up breastfeeding until he is ready so for now we are just going with it... and I"m working 4 days a week and your body just copes! Would love to hear if any of you guys crack the problem though, but we're not willing to try CC or CIO, he gets too worked up and ends up with more wind problems when he screams so doesn't help with anything ------------- 
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Posted By: Lizze
Date Posted: 02 January 2011 at 9:34am
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OH we are also trying losec, however he is on such a small dose I'm not sure its helping (2.5mg).. but we ran out of it last week and the last few nights have been terrible so I think it was helping some.. so silent reflux could be something to consider? -------------
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 02 January 2011 at 9:47am
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Hi Lizze, thanks for sharing your story, I must admit I am thankful someone else is in the same boat! :-) My DS USED to be on losec when he was very little, but I thought it was something they grew out of? How are you coping working as well! You are a super mum :-) We are looking at CC only because I am struggling with the sleep deprivation now and I think I will lose the plot if this continues when I start work next month. I am totally dreading it though, and am worried that there is a REASON why he is crying, and I am just missing it.
Have you decided your bubba is waking out of pain rather than habit?? How did you come to that conclusion? |
Posted By: Lizze
Date Posted: 02 January 2011 at 10:45am
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He was waking screaming, arching his back and had alot of wind so he couldnt settle until he had let out a few farts.. the losec has definetly reduced the wind he has
I had my sister babysit one evening and he did the same for her and she said it sounded like he was in pain.. my next step is to get my mum to stay one night and try and deal with him so I'm still there if things turn bad, and she can see whats he's doing and let us know if she thinks its habit or not -------------
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Posted By: Keleho
Date Posted: 02 January 2011 at 10:46am
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I cant offer much advice re the sleep as DD is a bit touch and go at the moment too. Fights going to sleep with both day and night sleeps, whereas before she was really good at self settling. For us it coincided with her started to crawl.
We dont have several wake ups in the night like you - usually just the one but she can be awake for about 2 hours. As others suggested, perhaps a visit to your GP for a full check over couldnt hurt. I hope you have some luck soon with whatever method you choose. Huge hugs to you - sleep deprivation is bloody hard work!!
Lizzie - DD is on Losec for reflux and a couple of months ago, I ran out without realising. The two days she was off the meds while I got a script etc she was a nightmare - in huge amounts of pain, throwing up everywhere. Apparently, if you suddenly stop reflux meds, it causes a spike in stomach acidity (higher than it was) and so can cause horrendous pain/throwing up for a few days to a week (depending on circumstances). Not doing that again in a hurry ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 02 January 2011 at 4:29pm
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Just a thought with the FenPaed, it is recommended to give it with food because it increases the acidity of the stomach. I have a refluxer too, so acid is already a problem, so I will only give it with solids, not BM and even then it still gives her a bit of a sore tum. Perhaps tonight give him a dose with his dinner and see if it helps? That way the benefits won't be undone by an uncomfy tummy. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 03 January 2011 at 9:11am
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Interesting day yesterday!!! I put my DS down for a nap at 10am and 2.30pm and he went down WITHOUT screaming! AND slept an hour and an hour and a half - AMAZING. I prayed that it would mean that his night would be better but no
I put him down at 7.30pm and he screamed and did his usual. However I picked him up, sung our lullaby and he fell asleep on my shoulder. For some reason that makes me feel better than feeding him! He then woke at 11.30pm, and I rocked and sung him to sleep on me again. No feeding! However he then woke again at 12.30am and I rocked him and sung to him as before. He fell asleep but the moment I put him in his cot, awake and crying. Tried again, fell asleep, then awake the minute he went into his cot. Third time I fed him, but then he did the exact same thing!!!! At 2am I brought him into bed with me, he fell asleep and stayed that way till 6am! So although it wasn't the best night, I do sort of feel like I am making progress? Sort of
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 03 January 2011 at 9:12am
| PS Any ideas why he wouldn't go down at midnight? Could it be separation anxiety? |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 03 January 2011 at 10:42am
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I think it could be, seeing as he stayed asleep from 2-6 with you, you could try putting something with your scent on in his cot like where his head goes and see if that does the trick...
I've noticed the same thing with DD on occasion. I did the pamol trick before bed last night and my dd went down at 7.30, she woke at 8.20 (dog barking) so I transferred her from our bed to her cot and she slept from 8.30 (after a quick feed) until 4am! I was so stoked! First time in... well first time!! She's teething atm, got 2 of them and I can see another 4 moving round too (but will be a while off), I'm very reluctant to give pamol or bonjela though unless I know it's absolutely necessary or she's inconsolable The last 2 weeks she's been waking 2 hourly. She normally does a 3 hour stretch max. It gets very tiring! ETA: Lily was 2 hourly day and night (feeding) until 7 months, then she stretched her night sleeps out by 1 hour to 3... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 03 January 2011 at 2:20pm
| Yay awesome work Lily!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 7:40am
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Two great day sleeps yesterday again.
Still wouldn't settle at bedtime though, so cuddled and rocked till drowsy then asleep by 7.25pm. Woke at 10pm, cuddled/rocked back to sleep. Woke again at 1230am, cuddled/rocked and back to sleep, but awake again half an hour later. Fed and back to sleep by 1.30am and slept from then till 7am! So still not ideal, but I feel better that he is only getting one feed at night. Tomorrow is "d day" and my hubby wants me to take him to the Dr to get checked out before he tries CC/verbal reassurance. My heart is screaming no!!!!
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 7:41am
| PS How did Lily get on last night lil_nic? Hope it was a repeat of the night before! |
Posted By: tiptoes
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 10:36am
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It might be worth going to the doctor just in case but can you say to your husband that things are already improving with that 1.30-7am sleep? Perhaps find some info on separation anxiety etc to show him it's normal?
It must be a hard situation to be in when you're not wanting to try CC but your husband is insisting ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">  
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Posted By: hils10
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 12:25pm
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I reckon you should try to hold off on the CC thing if you really don't want to do it, seeing as you seem to be making some progress!
I which I could say the same here... we have decided to try to cut down to one feed a night, and break the habit of waking and having a bottle around 10pm at night. Last night DD was asleep at 6.30pm, had a couple of brief cries that just needed a quick pat at 8.30 and 9.30pm then woke up properly at 10.30pm. We tried resettling without a feed, which looked like it was going to work but she only slept 5 mins then was awake again - did that twice so on the 3rd time (now an hour later!) we gave up and gave her a 120ml bottle of diluted formula which sent her right off to sleep properly. Only one more wakeup and brief bf the rest of the night though so wasn't too bad in the end. I can't decide whether its better to go cold turkey on dropping the feed, or gradually dilute it out. Anyway will try again tonight. BTW, have you tried having him sleep on a T-shirt you've been wearing? The really good sleeps our DD has had lately have been when she's got a T-shirt of mine under her head! |
Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 1:03pm
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Thanks guys, I am trying to convince my hubby that things ARE improving and that there will ALWAYS be time for CC later on.
Hils10 I have tried a shirt in his bed but not under his head. Will try that one tonight! |
Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 1:18pm
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Listen to your heart honey, and please show your hubby that article I posted earlier. Your instincts are screaming out loud and clear and I think you're doing a wonderful job so far.
When I was really struggling and starting to think about actively night weaning DD2 I decided to set some boundaries first, ie: just one breastfeed a night if she really *really* couldn't resettle - I think the boundaries really helped and were what led her to nightwean on her own in the end anyway. ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 3:35pm
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I second the shirt under his head, I think the scent would be reassuring like co sleeping iygwim!
Last night was the same as the night before, I think her teeth are really hurting her but instead of pamol DP gave her bonjela and she slept 9.30-3 and 3-6.30 so I am really pleased! I think she's a bit like me - high pain threshold because she doesn't cry or scream with her teeth (just a bit grizzly) so the pamol or bonjela seems to be working but I don't want to over do it and the one dose seems to work. Have you been to the docs yet? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: millymollymandy
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 6:26pm
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Scented cuddly blanket is great. We used for ages, I don't bother anymore as the cuddly and small girl are permanently attached LOL. IMHO - its a great sleep tool, but not a panacea for fixing sleep issues.
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 7:25am
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That is such awesome sleeping Lily!!! You must be stoked Lil_Nic9.
Well for the first time in about six weeks, my little guy went to sleep at bedtime without a fuss! I put my shirt underneath his head and I had given him pamol an hour before. So now I'm not sure which one if any helped
He woke at 10.30pm, quick cuddle then back to sleep. However awake again at midnight. My DH tried to settle him back to sleep but after more than 1/2 an hour gave up. I ended up feeding him. He then woke again at 3.30am, but quick cuddle and back to sleep till 7am. So it feels like we are making SOME progress?? I will still probably take him to the Dr today I think. Cause that midnight waking is always really hard to settle. Now to convince my hubby that tonight we do not need to leave him to cry!
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 8:09am
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Just a thought, but if you do leave him to cry, that will have to be the approach from now on, because it is likely to undo the security that he obviously now has with his cot. So he may be less likely than he is now to settle without tears for some time.
You know I wouldn't do it, but I'm lucky enough that my DH supports my approach. It must be hard when he doesn't ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 8:22am
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Yeah that is partly why I don't want to T-Rex. We are making progress without tears, so why not give it a bit longer? That will be my argument anyway I want to still be able to cuddle and possibly feed if required and that wont be an option if we go the crying route.
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 9:58am
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It sounds like some progress! And any progress is better than none imo!
Agree with T-rex, it may be confusing for him too... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: millymollymandy
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 3:09pm
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I went the crying route and I still cuddle, if she wakes up upset! I just cuddle for comfort and not to put to sleep. Mostly it stops the crying and she goes back to sleep soon after I leave.
Good to see some progress. |
Posted By: Lizze
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 6:03pm
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Glad you are making some progress!
I wouldn't leave him to cry either since you making huge progress, I wish my nights were as good as yours!! -------------
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Posted By: kmarie
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 9:37pm
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Sounds like you're making great progress :) Haven't had a chance to read fully, but have you thought of giving him a 'cuddly' of some sort to snuggle as he goes to sleep? I started putting a few soft toys in Kaitlyn's cot recently to see if she'd take to any of them, and now she falls asleep with one hand holding her pink bunny over her face, while sucking her other thumb. Sooo cute, and great for helping her settle on those unsettled nights. (I have to confess though that's she's been a sleeper since day 1, SUCH a contrast to Bethany who didn't know what sleep was, day or night, until she turned 1!!) All the best with the sleeping improving and starting work xx ------------- 
twins in heaven Oct07 Is 40:11 "He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart." |
Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 7:53am
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Two great day sleeps again yesterday, then crying again at bedtime I thought I had cracked it! However I only needed to give him a cuddle and a bit of a sing and he was off to sleep. Not sure what is up with that!
Then.....he slept till 2.15am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I even heard him wake at midnight ish and go back to sleep. I got him up, rocked and sang to him, but cried when I put him back down. Turns out he was wet Ended up feeding him as he wouldn't settle down to sleep. But then slept till 7am! That is the best sleep we have had in months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And a reprieve from DH
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 8:58am
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Well done you ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 9:09am
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Nothing to do with me really
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 11:26am
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That is fantastic!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: tiptoes
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 11:35am
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That's awesome progress!!!! Yay!! ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">
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Posted By: hils10
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 2:21pm
| Thats great! Let us know if it continues, it gives me hope. |
Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 07 January 2011 at 6:57am
Guess what??? Last night my little man slept through the night from 7.30pm till 6.15am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
He hasn't done that in MONTHS. Part of me knows it was probably a one off but I am SUPER proud anyway
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 07 January 2011 at 7:50am
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Awwww!!!
So what's different?! Glad things have changed for you! That's fantastic!
Ours was def teeth related pain and so have been giving her 1 dose of bonjela before bed and she's only been waking once! But she has been going to bed later because of the heat! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: naysgirl
Date Posted: 07 January 2011 at 9:30am
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Thats awesome, you must feel great to have gotten a decent nights sleep for a change. Good to see all your hard work is starting to pay off. And good on you for sticking to your guns and doing what you feel is right. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 07 January 2011 at 10:02am
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That's the thing, I have done NOTHING differently!!!!!!
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Posted By: hils10
Date Posted: 07 January 2011 at 10:29am
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My theory is that at the end of the day, that babies just figure it out in their own time you just gotta give them what they need until they do. And most of the time what we do probably makes less of a difference than we think!
I like to think we are making a small amount of progress too, as last night DD only had one feed at 2am. But I had to give her pamol to get her to sleep that long as she woke at 7pm, 8pm and 9pm pulling at her mouth (after going to sleep at 6pm). And she's just settled herself for a nap but I fear she's gonna wake after 40 mins cos she is in a really uncomfortable looking position! Does anyone else's baby do that? Crawl around in the cot before going to sleep and then end up all contorted? DD has only just learnt to crawl in the last month so this is a new experience for me. |
Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 07 January 2011 at 6:18pm
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Yes hils10! Yesterday my DS fell asleep for his nap sitting, with his head forward laying down IYKWIM. He woke up super grumpy and still tired!
Anyway, my DS has been upset and crying on and off all day so I suspect he is either getting sick or teething. Or had too much sleep last night
He has had two good naps today, but I fear tonight will not go well and that last night was just a fluke
He hardly ate his dinner which is never a good sign. Just when I thought I was making some progress
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 07 January 2011 at 6:33pm
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Never say never at even if he doesn't at least you know he can do it! FX he does though! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 07 January 2011 at 7:53pm
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Remember also that it is often two steps forward, one step back, three steps sideways etc
I made a breakthrough a week or so ago, was over the moon, next time, no go, not even close, and I was all down in the dumps, then night 3, back to progress again. A few good nights, then tonight, all boo hoo again. So hang in there. Thats 2 good sleeps recently, so there'll likely be more ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 08 January 2011 at 7:29am
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Haha you were SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo right T-Rex! I felt VERY depressed when I got up this morning as we are basically back to square one after last night.
Crying at bedtime, even cuddling wouldn't settle. Ended up feeding Then woke an hour and a half later, fed. At 10.30pm, brought him into bed with me, and he woke numerous times in the night, mostly being comfort fed back to sleep
So I feel like all that hard work has been totally wiped out by one night  However, he was under the weather yesterday, didn't eat his dinner, so I'm sure that was most of the problem.
I guess I should be thankful for that one night but I was truly hoping I might get a few more
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 08 January 2011 at 10:29am
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whoops, sorry for jinxing you!!
Hang in there, he's allowed to have bad nights (he'd have them even if you let him CIO), just suck it up and try again tomorrow
------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: tiptoes
Date Posted: 08 January 2011 at 11:31am
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Sucks when you get your hopes up that things have turned the corner, only to slip back. We've had a similar thing. A couple of weeks ago we finally had a week of 2 sleep throughs (first in 6 months) and 5 of the 7 nights DS was in his cot all night, so instead of bringing him into our bed I managed to resettle him in his cot. But then things seemed to slip back again and we've only had a couple of nights in his cot all night and I don't think anymore sleep throughs. BUT I'm trying to just remember that now I know that he can do it and I didn't really do anything different, he just did it naturally. Just like you guys. So I guess what I'm saying is although it's not all smooth sailing like we want, if we just keep doing what we're doing then we'll have happy sleeping babies without CIO soon and we'll have nice full sleeps too
Hopefully that's not too Pollyanna ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 08 January 2011 at 11:51am
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We had a rough night here too and it wasn't until she woke for the 3rd time since 9pm at 2am that I realised I had forgotten to give her bonjela before bed so quickly gave her some and she slept until 7.30 (longest she's slept in for in ages! Normally it's 6-7am!)
Anyway, keep doing what you are doing because as you said, you didn't do anything differently and something clearly worked, like Trex said, 2 steps forward 1 step back, and if he was feeling under the weather, that could have had something to do with it! All the best for tonight! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 09 January 2011 at 7:00am
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Glad you have figured out what is causing Lily to wake up at night Lil_nic9, that must feel great!
Well another bad night here. Went down okay, but woke twice in the first two hours and a few times after that but I ended up bringing him in bed with me so I lost count. He is definitely sick though, so all bets are off
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 09 January 2011 at 10:22pm
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We had our bad night last night! Not sure what was up...
Everything was all fine... She slept from about 8.30-2... The woke at 2... 3... And decided 4am was the best time to start the day! Argh! So she wasn't going to go back to bed despite me trying from 4-4.45 so we got up and she played happily in the lounge, got a bit grizzly round 6am and offered her some pamol and tried to get her back down in her cot - no go (it was light outside) and then at 6.30 dp decided to go sleep on the couch and I bought her to bed with me. She slept for an hour and then my mum came and took her for a walk, DP looked after her from about 8-10 so I got some sleep! She slept from 11-2 but didn't have an afternoon nap and went to bed at 8.15, made a peep about 20 mins ago (10pm) so moved her to her cot... Hoping for a better night tonight but I can see a few teeth, 3 that look like they might come through in the next couple of weeks... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 10 January 2011 at 12:19pm
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Those damn teeth! They have a lot to answer for!!!
Total shocker of a night last night. The worst yet. BUT he is sick, a probable ear infection
Woke about three times before 10pm, then wouldn't sleep and kept crying. Ended up taking him to Ascot at 1.30am, and all they did was give him nurofen! Could have done that at home. Thought he would be exhausted when we got home but had to take him in the pram around the block at 3.30am to get him off to sleep! And even then he woke up 1/2 an hour later
FINALLY fell asleep on me at 4am till 7am and is still horrible grizzly and sad today
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 10 January 2011 at 4:40pm
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We had a rough night too, sounds similar to yours but ours is just teeth!
She went to bed at 8.15 fine, slept until 10 ish and went to her cot fine, woke at 11, 1, 2, 2.30, 3 and wouldn't go back to bed... Ended up giving her pamol and bonjela and still a no go getting her off (everytime I put her down she cried despite being sound asleep for about 5-10 mins in my arms!) wasn't hot or cold. I ended up bringing her lil mattress from the porta cot plus all her cot quilts and making a lil bed for us and we slept on the lounge floor so could just BF her easily (didn't want to give DP a rough night!) and played some 'soothing' music and she slept from about 4-7 without waking and played quietly until 8 so I got an extra hour lightly napping while she played. Am hoping we both have better nights tonight! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 10 January 2011 at 6:43pm
| Me too Lil_Nic9!!!! Let me know how you go. |
Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 10 January 2011 at 7:34pm
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You poor things, I hope you got some rest today!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 10 January 2011 at 9:44pm
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Yes, my body has adjusted to it after a couple of rough nights now lol, after so many months it's sorta just like *sigh* least I know she CAN do it...
I do miss her when she does sleep well... But suppose we all have our bad nights too! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 11 January 2011 at 11:33am
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Well we had a better night last night... She slept from 8.15-10.30 and I went to move her to her cot but she stirred a bit (enough for me to know she wouldn't go down without a fuss 5 mins later iygwim) so I gave her a dream feed and she slept until 11.30... Uhh oh I thought! But fed her and she went back to sleep until 4.30! (Yay!) and then until 7... I tried to BF her back to sleep at 7 but she woke when I put her down! Oh well!
ETA: Am happy with that, her top tooth has moved down quite a bit so I think it's causing less problem iygwim! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Lizze
Date Posted: 11 January 2011 at 11:53am
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as bad as it sounds i'm so pleased i'm not in this boat by myself
I KNOW i'm doing things wrong.. I feed DS to sleep for all of his feeds, if he won't settle I can rock him to sleep, when he is at his Nannas she rocks him to sleep in the push chair. But... I don't know how to get him out of that habit now, he seems too old, and I WONT let him CIO. We increased DS's losec the other week, as I know it is helping a bit, but not fixing the problem. When we stopped it for a few days over xmas while the pharmacys were closed he was terrible. He's now more settled, however is waking hourly instead of 2-3 hourly!!! We end up co sleeping from about 2am, and I woke up this morning facing away from him and he had his arm over me ... aww.. -------------
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 11 January 2011 at 11:55am
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That's a pretty good night lil_nic9! Well done Lily. Not the BEST night here. Would NOT go down at bedtime, then woke 3/4 hourly till I tried to go to bed.
So I thought bugger it, I will just take him to bed with me straight off the bat so we MIGHT manage to both get some sleep. He had a bad patch around midnight again where I had to pace up and down the hallway, but the rest of the wake ups, I just cuddled him and he went back to sleep. |
Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 11 January 2011 at 11:56am
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Awww so cute Lizze!
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Posted By: kiwimum2010
Date Posted: 11 January 2011 at 12:24pm
| Gosh so many of us with sleeping probs. My DS was a pretty good night sleeper, he is 13 months tomorrow but from 10 1/2 months his sleeps are terrible. Up at least once every night - I know thats good for some of you, but some nights he is up 5 x ie last night. He started walking at the same time his night sleeps went bad! He is changing down to one 3 hour day sleep now (from 2 sleeps) and nothing else has changed. His first 8 teeth the front ones we had no probs with, lately his first molar and 2nd one are coming through. He cries to sleep if I dont rock him and he has to be sound asleep before I put him in his cot. If not he wakes and screams and real tears. He wakes through the night and if I go straight in I can give him his toy back again (he sucks it! - soft toy) and he will go back to sleep, however if I leave him he stands up in his cot and screams and gets hysterical and cries! I am happy to leave cry for a bit, but not a hysterical real tears cry! Nothing else has changed. Do you think this is now a habbit his struggling to go down before either day or night sleep and his night waking??? Or is it teething etc? Anyone else had this with a 13 month old??? |
Posted By: hils10
Date Posted: 11 January 2011 at 12:48pm
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I know what you mean Lizzie, I feel like I am doing things "wrong" as well. We have resorted to rocking our DD off to sleep a lot lately, esp for her nap - she used to self settle but now seems to just not be able to switch off. Over the past week I have tried leaving her to settle herself - one time she actually went to sleep after 20 min of crawling aroudn in the cot, but the other times she is still flailing about after 40-45 mins (despite being obviously tired) so I have gone in a rocked her to sleep. We don't have an issue with bedtime screaming, she is often not crying at all during that 40-45 mins, but is just not able to go to sleep ((she only has one nap a day now, and will go to sleep quite quickly when rocked so is obviously really ready for it!).
She is waking 2-4 times a night too, and having 2 overnight feeds. My attempts at night weaning are NOT working and I'm beginning to think she does actually need some food - despite what Plunket and the doctor and everyone else says she "should" be doing at this age. Usually she wakes around 3 hrs after going down, and will go back to sleep with a cuddle, but will not STAY asleep - sometimes she wakes after 5-10 mins, sometimes we get another whole sleep cycle of 45 mins - and then if I cuddle her back to sleep again the whole process repeats. But if I give her a little formula (like 100-120 mls) she will sleep another few hours (like sometimes even 4-6 hrs). I'm beginning to think trying to night wean her is making her more unsettled and that I should just feed her and be done with it. I'm feeling really fed up with it at the moment - partly with our inability to improve her sleeping, and partly with feeling pressure that she should be self-settling and not feeding at night. Sometimes I think life would be easier if I just ignored all that and rocked her to sleep, fed her at night etc - but then I wonder if she will EVER develop good sleeping habits and I would REALLY like her to cut down on her night waking! Phew, that was a bit of a novel - feel better now I got that off my chest though |
Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 11 January 2011 at 2:10pm
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Hils, how old is your DD?
First up, ignore the pressure! The only one who should be bothered by the situation is you and your DH. If it helps, my mum co-slept and fed to sleep all her babies for every sleep and we all sleep fine now - and did from as long as I can remember, and I'm one of the older ones, so I don't recall their being a big drama when the younger ones got weaned, so they must have slept somehow. It isn't forever. That said, it wasn't for me and I've at least got a DD I can rock to sleep quite easily. I've just night weaned her nearly a week ago. We got DH to do it, seeing as he is on leave atm. We decided if it was him, she wasn't going to expect a feed (she's only ever been BF, only had one bottle of EBM from DH when she was tiny). The first night she cried and raged, but partly cos DH was trying to reason with her and talk to her to settle her down, when really she was tired and he should have just stuck to the lullaby and rocking. I went in and took over with the lullaby and rocking and she went to sleep. The next wakeup, and all the wakeups since then, DH has settled her pretty quickly. Even sometimes he's been able to get her to sleep without picking her up which is massive progress, considering this time a week ago she was being fed to sleep for all her night wakings. Could your DH have a go? I think part of our success is because it was him not me, so she now gives up on the feed as soon as she spots him and is happy for him just to send her back to sleep. One thing that causes her to wakeup again very quickly here is the cold? If she's not dressed warmly enough or kicking her blankets off? If she IS waking out of hunger, I would just feed her and be done with it. Have you tried doing a sleep log? They are quite handy to get a *big picture* view of how the nights are going? Our last one showed us very clearly that she was waking every 2 hours to be resettled. I think wakings a lot shorter than that indicate some kind of discomfort, rather than an inability to self-settle, whether it be cold, teeth, hunger... don't you wish they could talk?! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 11 January 2011 at 2:13pm
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hils10 - i think if you plan on night feeding for a long time then co-sleeping is your best option to get more sleep. Just too damn hard otherwise. How old is your little one?
Babies definitely can go without being fed at night, but most are also happy to be fed at night. I always think it is up to you and your style of parenting, that's why so many of the night feeding gals co-sleep, because it's the best way to get more sleep. It's usually some variety of tough love to cut those night feeds and some people just aren't into that. I think if you aren't then forget what others say and embrace the parenting style you've chosen. If you choose it then maybe you'll feel less controlled and frustrated by it iykwim. kiwimum - my excellent sleeping DS1's sleep actually got worse as he got older and he is worse now than my terrible newborn sleeping DS2. It does sound a bit like sep anxiety to me, hopefully it will pass and you can survive the next few months till it does. I wouldn't worry too much about forming habits at this age as you know he can sleep well. Does your dh/dp help? The thing that saved me was me and dh taking turns to do nights. So every second night i get to sleep, put my earplugs in and just switch off. It was not easy the first few nights but i really do switch off straightaway now. Actually dh was always better at settling DS2 than me. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: hils10
Date Posted: 11 January 2011 at 4:05pm
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My DD is 11.5 months. From 12 weeks to about 5.5 months she slept 8-12 hours a night without me "doing" anything to encourage it! Then the nightwaking began, and we just haven't been able to get on top of it. I think there are a variety of reasons why she wakes - probably hunger when she was younger as she didn't start eating solids properly until she was 9 months and even now is not a big eater, and teething for sure some nights, and the odd night we have not got the temperature right I'm sure!
Since about 7 months she's been having bf morning and evening and formula during the day, but I have just weaned her off bf entirely partly because I've been starting to have supply issues with not feeding so regularly so thought I would take that out of the equation. So I don't think co-sleeping is gonna help much, and she also tends to regard it as a game and spends most of the time trying to stick her fingers up our noses instead of settling to sleep
We've tried DP with the night-weaning and she will settle for him fine initially, but still just wakes up again. I was keeping a sleep log for a while, and there wasn't really a pattern to her waking - other than the 10pm ish one, her other wakeups are all over the place - and she will actually settle (and stay asleep) without a feed (for either of us) if its only been an hour or two since she had one. So it kind of seems like its not bad habits/inability to self settle. I reckon I'll just keep feeding her for now, go with what works, and TRY not to worry about the future - she's gonna figure it out herself eventually, right? |
Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 11 January 2011 at 6:46pm
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Eventually they all do. Can you leave a bottle in with her so she finds it and feeds herself? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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