Grr ’lazy’ mothers

I was at my friend's place on Tuesday and she had other friends over too.  One friend had her 2 yr old there and didn't budge the whole time to look out for him.  She allowed him to go on the tramp but didn't watch him, had her back to wherever he was the whole time and even when he really hurt Ava, she didn't do a thing! 

 

I was up and down most of the time checking on where Jett was, and making sure Ava wasn't getting into things she shouldn't be, and making sure they were both safe.

 

I think she just thinks that when she's out with others THEY have to look after her kid!  It's not the first time I've noticed her to be like this.  Back in July (so when the boy was only 20 months old) we were at a gathering and again she sat in a different room to where her son was, and NEVER got up to check on him and he was getting in mischief but others had to bail him out.  He could've wondered off from the house but she would never have known.

 

It makes me SOO angry and I think it shows me how much she actually cares for her children (she has a 6 yr old too).  Not caring where her child is and whether they are respecting other peoples property.  Her son doesn't have any boundaries - especially when it comes to learning how to behave at other peoples homes, and being gentle with kids.  He kept trying to push Ava over.

 

Basically, I'm just having a moan... but do you think a parent should take more notice of their children when out?

I agree with everything.

I love my friends children and just by instinct I always keep an eye on them (mainly because I want to be playing with them!). So occasionally my friends will just leave me to it and wander off and do other things when we have a BBQ knowing that they can trust me to watch their kids.

But they never allow the kids to play with things that may hurt them without watching them. And they never allow them to misbehave.

I would say something to your friend. Nothing serious, just a passing comment like, "you son, X, has been getting a little rough with the other kids, and while a little push and shove is natural it is starting to get beyond that. Do you mind keeping a closer eye on him next time he is around the other kids, because I dont feel comfortable disciplining your child."

If she gets upset at that then she needs to get over herself.

I have come across this too and as rude as it may sound, I just make a snarky comment like "you better go and check your kid, he/she is doing xyz or is hitting so and so". I make sure it is loud and clear and infront of other people to make it quite obvious.

I have no problem at all speaking my mind about this kind of stuff. Can you tell it really pisses me off!

At my house I don't watch Daniel much. I know whats in our yard and can generally hear where he. He pleases himself outside without constant supervision, he plays on the tramp and slide etc without me watching him. But if I'm at someone elses house I do watch

Mum2Keira wrote: Yes I have a family member that does that, even at the mall, she would go off looking at shops and leave her child kicking and screaming (he'll follow eventually was her attitude)

When my oldest was a few years younger and he threw a tanty in any shop, I'd walk away. Once he realised I wasn't hanging around to watch him make a spectacle of himself, he'd get up and come running. Even now if hes mucking around I'll start walking away, he knows I wont dawdle and wait for him!

When we are at peoples homes, I keep a close eye on my youngest, but I also know I can trust my oldest NOT to get into anything he shouldnt be, he has been taught from an early age that he has to ask before he plays with something or goes into another room... of course at home its a different story, I know theres nothing my kids can get into that would hurt them, so to be perfectly honest, I leave them to it. (granted thats only when we are inside, and theres no 'escape route' available to get outside behind my back!)

Maybe its because I was always pretty hard on DS while at other peoples homes, but I do get annoyed when people come over and just let their kids run riot, but I dont say anything as they are not my kids to be telling off. Depending on how close you are to the mother, it might pay to ask her to rein her kid in a bit, or maybe just anticipate what they might try and get into, and remove the temptation before they come over??

That totally bugs me as well! I am guilty of leaving DS to it a bit at playgroup but then that's normally when I am getting morning tea ready or something similar. We have a family member who just leaves the kids to it when we are all together and it drives me nuts as then Grandma becomes responsible which means everyone else misses out on her time and attention as she is too busy. Makes me so mad!

Obviously when the children are older, you don't have to watch them like hawks, but a 2 yr old (and younger) definitely needs watching, and it's not like she has taught him to respect other people and their property because she's left him to it since he's been able to move, so it's not like he knows the boundaries, and it's about safety too - allowing him to jump on a tramp with not watching him at 2 yrs old?!

 

At home is a different story, she can do what she likes then, I don't care.  But when out - it's not anyone elses responsibility but her's.  I think it's pure laziness. 

 

Even when I'm in conversation with others, I'm constantly looking to see where my kids are, and if they go out of my sight and I don't know if where they have gone is safe, I'll got and check on them.

Babykatnz wrote: Mum2Keira wrote: Yes I have a family member that does that, even at the mall, she would go off looking at shops and leave her child kicking and screaming (he'll follow eventually was her attitude) When my oldest was a few years younger and he threw a tanty in any shop, I'd walk away. Once he realised I wasn't hanging around to watch him make a spectacle of himself, he'd get up and come running. Even now if hes mucking around I'll start walking away, he knows I wont dawdle and wait for him!

Fair enough, I would do the same, íf they don't have an audience they get bored or distracted. But I meant she would let him play on the ride on toys and just wander away, he doesn't look like her, & others would assume he was my kid, they would chase me saying "um your kid is over there crying looking for you"

This really annoys me as well, we had friends staying with us and they didn't keep track of what there kids were doing or anything. My youngest was trying to have a nap and I had to get my oldest son to stop one of theirs going into his room

Younger kids deffinetly need to be watched!!

I tend to sit back with DD especially at home, and our house isn't childproof because thats not the way I parent. There are locks on certain cabinets, and things like that but most of the house is a free for all. DD can go in the kitchen and pull the cupboards and drawers apart and does frequently she is allowed in the pots and pans, tupperware drawer and roasting dishes. She knows the cupboards and things she's not allowed to touch. I also don't have much of a choice, but in saying that our house is child friendly (well to an extent).

But if DD is making a mess, touching things she shouldn't be or hitting a child and I know about it she gets pulled up immediately.