Grr ’lazy’ mothers
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37135
Printed Date: 26 August 2025 at 8:44pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.10 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Grr ’lazy’ mothers
Posted By: my4beauties
Subject: Grr ’lazy’ mothers
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 9:41am
|
I was at my friend's place on Tuesday and she had other friends over too. One friend had her 2 yr old there and didn't budge the whole time to look out for him. She allowed him to go on the tramp but didn't watch him, had her back to wherever he was the whole time and even when he really hurt Ava, she didn't do a thing!
I was up and down most of the time checking on where Jett was, and making sure Ava wasn't getting into things she shouldn't be, and making sure they were both safe.
I think she just thinks that when she's out with others THEY have to look after her kid! It's not the first time I've noticed her to be like this. Back in July (so when the boy was only 20 months old) we were at a gathering and again she sat in a different room to where her son was, and NEVER got up to check on him and he was getting in mischief but others had to bail him out. He could've wondered off from the house but she would never have known.
It makes me SOO angry and I think it shows me how much she actually cares for her children (she has a 6 yr old too). Not caring where her child is and whether they are respecting other peoples property. Her son doesn't have any boundaries - especially when it comes to learning how to behave at other peoples homes, and being gentle with kids. He kept trying to push Ava over.
Basically, I'm just having a moan... but do you think a parent should take more notice of their children when out? ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
|
Replies:
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 9:56am
|
Yep that kind of stuff hacks me off too! Im always making sure I know where Caden and Bella are!! ------------- |
Posted By: kiwikt
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 9:57am
|
I agree with everything.
I love my friends children and just by instinct I always keep an eye on them (mainly because I want to be playing with them!). So occasionally my friends will just leave me to it and wander off and do other things when we have a BBQ knowing that they can trust me to watch their kids. But they never allow the kids to play with things that may hurt them without watching them. And they never allow them to misbehave. I would say something to your friend. Nothing serious, just a passing comment like, "you son, X, has been getting a little rough with the other kids, and while a little push and shove is natural it is starting to get beyond that. Do you mind keeping a closer eye on him next time he is around the other kids, because I dont feel comfortable disciplining your child." If she gets upset at that then she needs to get over herself. ------------- Due 14/10/11 http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: tiptoes
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 9:59am
|
I definitely agree, I'm often surprised at how 'relaxed' some mother's are about where their kids are and what they're up too.
They must assume that the other parents are happy to look after their kids. That's fine if both parents are taking turns getting up and down but not the same one all the time! ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">  
|
Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 10:05am
|
I have come across this too and as rude as it may sound, I just make a snarky comment like "you better go and check your kid, he/she is doing xyz or is hitting so and so". I make sure it is loud and clear and infront of other people to make it quite obvious.
I have no problem at all speaking my mind about this kind of stuff. Can you tell it really pisses me off!  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: M2K
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 10:55am
|
Yes I have a family member that does that, even at the mall, she would go off looking at shops and leave her child kicking and screaming (he'll follow eventually was her attitude)
I can't leave mine for 10 seconds without her getting into everything she shouldnt be, its embarrasing I have taken her to a friends babyshower (most of the people I didn't know) and Keira was smiling at them, while getting into their bags  ------------- 
|
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 11:16am
| At my house I don't watch Daniel much. I know whats in our yard and can generally hear where he. He pleases himself outside without constant supervision, he plays on the tramp and slide etc without me watching him. But if I'm at someone elses house I do watch |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 12:00pm
|
i dont constantly watch my kids - i dont need they.
just realised the mistake there .. should be to! was in a hurry when i typed that. |
Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 12:16pm
When my oldest was a few years younger and he threw a tanty in any shop, I'd walk away. Once he realised I wasn't hanging around to watch him make a spectacle of himself, he'd get up and come running. Even now if hes mucking around I'll start walking away, he knows I wont dawdle and wait for him! When we are at peoples homes, I keep a close eye on my youngest, but I also know I can trust my oldest NOT to get into anything he shouldnt be, he has been taught from an early age that he has to ask before he plays with something or goes into another room... of course at home its a different story, I know theres nothing my kids can get into that would hurt them, so to be perfectly honest, I leave them to it. (granted thats only when we are inside, and theres no 'escape route' available to get outside behind my back!) Maybe its because I was always pretty hard on DS while at other peoples homes, but I do get annoyed when people come over and just let their kids run riot, but I dont say anything as they are not my kids to be telling off. Depending on how close you are to the mother, it might pay to ask her to rein her kid in a bit, or maybe just anticipate what they might try and get into, and remove the temptation before they come over?? ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003  
|
Mum2Keira wrote:Posted By: Mucky_Tiger
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 12:40pm
|
if im out with friends who have kids at someone elses house ill watch out for thier kids.
the baby was crawling over to the exercycle and his mum seen him but didnt think much of it. Baby stopped sat there and started to spin the pedals. having done this myself at his age i know it hurts. I broke my nose and fractured both eye sockets at 7months old. I picked him up and then bam the pedal flew right where his head just was... I wasnt waiting for it to happen to him but his mum wasnt too phased as she didnt think he could get up to much. now she's a bit more cautious though |
Posted By: Henna79
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 12:48pm
| That totally bugs me as well! I am guilty of leaving DS to it a bit at playgroup but then that's normally when I am getting morning tea ready or something similar. We have a family member who just leaves the kids to it when we are all together and it drives me nuts as then Grandma becomes responsible which means everyone else misses out on her time and attention as she is too busy. Makes me so mad! |
Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 1:18pm
|
I hate this too. I have a few friends like this. It annoys me when people dont watch there kids at my house. Just because its a fenced section we are right by a busy road, so im always watching out for other peoples kids
I do sometimes wish i didnt have to watch DD all the time. She is a runner & also finds trouble. I really dont want to imagine what she will get like when older  -------------  
|
Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 1:21pm
|
Obviously when the children are older, you don't have to watch them like hawks, but a 2 yr old (and younger) definitely needs watching, and it's not like she has taught him to respect other people and their property because she's left him to it since he's been able to move, so it's not like he knows the boundaries, and it's about safety too - allowing him to jump on a tramp with not watching him at 2 yrs old?!
At home is a different story, she can do what she likes then, I don't care. But when out - it's not anyone elses responsibility but her's. I think it's pure laziness.
Even when I'm in conversation with others, I'm constantly looking to see where my kids are, and if they go out of my sight and I don't know if where they have gone is safe, I'll got and check on them. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
|
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 3:03pm
|
Yeah I agree, at that age you should be keeping an ear and eye out for your children. Obviously you can be more relaxed when at home, and when they're abit older. But kids can get themselves into predicaments sometimes. ------------- 
|
Posted By: M2K
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 3:14pm
Fair enough, I would do the same, íf they don't have an audience they get bored or distracted. But I meant she would let him play on the ride on toys and just wander away, he doesn't look like her, & others would assume he was my kid, they would chase me saying "um your kid is over there crying looking for you" -------------
|
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 4:09pm
| when i take my 2 yr old to a house where other 2 yr olds live i expect that it is already child proofed so i wouldnt have to expect to get up and police how she is playing. I do know that not everyone has the same expectations of their children though and not all parents would consider a trampoline a danger for example. |
Posted By: Limochick
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 4:10pm
This really annoys me as well, we had friends staying with us and they didn't keep track of what there kids were doing or anything. My youngest was trying to have a nap and I had to get my oldest son to stop one of theirs going into his room 
Younger kids deffinetly need to be watched!! -------------  
 
|
Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 5:05pm
|
bizzy the two times I've noticed this friend has not looked out for her boy were in homes that were not child proof, I have to keep getting Ava away from things she could break (and he could too as he was touching things). And tramps are one of the most dangerous things a young child could play on unattended. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
|
Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 5:45pm
|
I tend to sit back with DD especially at home, and our house isn't childproof because thats not the way I parent. There are locks on certain cabinets, and things like that but most of the house is a free for all. DD can go in the kitchen and pull the cupboards and drawers apart and does frequently she is allowed in the pots and pans, tupperware drawer and roasting dishes. She knows the cupboards and things she's not allowed to touch. I also don't have much of a choice, but in saying that our house is child friendly (well to an extent).
But if DD is making a mess, touching things she shouldn't be or hitting a child and I know about it she gets pulled up immediately. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
|
Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 6:23pm
|
I'm a bit like honeybuns ma - i like to give the kids a bit of free rein. At home i don't have to watch at all and at others houses i def don't watch them like hawks, but would police a tramp etc. Too busy to stand over them havin my cup of tea or glass of wine.
Naughty, lazy me. somebody should put me in time out. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
|
Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 6:51pm
Yeah, mine are of the free range variety too. You tend to trail your first one, watch your second one, and any others after that tend to sort themselves out. LOL. If you go visiting someone with kids or go to a playgroup then the place is usually pretty much childproofed. You would supervise your children quite differently at say a mall, than a playgroup. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Kalimirella
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 7:11pm
|
I tend to just keep half an eye and an ear on mine, I can tell when she is getting into mischeif, its either the excited grunting/squeal, or that absolute silence.
I admit on occasion I lose track of her but thats when I realise i haven't heard seen her for a little while look up and go "wheres my baby!" Its always granddad or some family member has taken off with her. Luckily mines not walking yet (shes cruising) so can't get too far. I would probably say something but very nicely, just along the lines of, hey, is that your child, isn't he lovely but hes being a bit rough with my child and getting into some things in the next room, could you keep an eye on him pls. (And in my head would be running, jeesh watch your own kid pls I'm not your babysitter, or else you should be PAYING ME) ------------- Kiara is 3 and Teagan is 2, now we're expecting our long awaited 3rd! http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
|
Posted By: kiwi2
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 8:17pm
|
It is all child specific. With my oldest and youngest I am confident that they would behave and act accordingly at a persons house. They are 14 and 5 now but I mean when they were younger. Then again I have taught them that so it wasn't automatic. My son though I could tell until I was blue in the face and still he would do something silly. I needed to supervise him and teach him what is acceptable etc. I beleive it has sunk in now.
It doesn't really matter for me if the house is child proof etc. I think a respect of others belongings should be taught very early on. Do kids always listen, no, but that is your job as a parent to guide them in the right direction. The house may be childproof and full of kids toys but throwing or being excessively rough with them is just bad manners and hurting another human being is just wrong. As for tramps we have had two teeth knocked out and a broken arm in our family from a tramp and also a child visting splitting their lip. One of these injuries was on a tramp with an enclosure too. So no definately not in the safe camp in this family. |
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 11:49pm
|
When we are at home I let Jackson go around freely as he knows what he can and cant touch as we have taught him that. But when we have other children over it does annoy me when the parents dont stop their children from touching things or doing things they shouldnt. Its not theirs and that should be respected. Our house is for the most part child proof but there are some things that are in arms reach that shouldnt be touched by little hands (i.e. DVD's/CD's, photo frames, books etc).
As for when we are out, I always know where Jackson is and what hes doing, but not to the point I am hovering over him and stopping him from learning and exploring. He needs to learn whats ok and not ok and to respect others belongings. BUT as soon as he is doing something he should I make sure he stops. ------------- Our Angel July 08  Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
|
Posted By: Mum_mum
Date Posted: 17 December 2010 at 7:35am
|
Yip at home Maddi has free reign unless its going to hurt her or make a mess (like her current favourite thing of throwing the dirt out of the pot plant!)
When we are out I try to keep her out of trouble and for the most part shes pretty good. I think its more about teaching respect to your children. You can't do somethings in others houses even if you do them in your own. some people let their kids jump on the couches,tomp through the garden, throw their food round, swing off the washing line - thats not acceptable at our house, and unfortunatly I do find myself steping in! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
Angel baby - May 2008
|