Clingy toddler and Bub #2

I am a bit nervous about out DS1 is going to be when DS2 arrives soon.

Jackson is quite clingy recently. We think a lot of it is to do with his sensory issues. They don't really cause too many problems and he is getting better all the time, but recently he loses the plot if new people come, or if we go to someone else's house. Screams and sobs and clings to me. He also used to be very good at playing independently at home, but these days he won't even go to another room to get his toys. It's all "Mummy find it, mummy do it, mummy come too" and if I don't he gets really upset.

My midwife seemed horrified by this and said I should start saying no more to him. Tried it this morning and I just felt awful as he got so upset. I ended up having a wee cry in the shower.

I already feel guilty about what he will miss out on when we bring bubs home. I know of couse millions of toddlers experience this and the end gain is bigger than the initial pain, but I am really concerned that he won't cope well.

Do people have some stories to share about how their toddlers dealt with this massive change? Anyone else have particularly clingy toddlers - were there any strategies you used?

I found that it was not as hard as I expected when we brought Toby home. Sophia was giong through a stage of wanting me to help and join in with lots of things, but found that she was actually okay for example when feeding Toby she actually liked that I was just sitting in one spot, she knew where to find me! Would often just bring things to me etc, learnt that I could not join in for a bit. I don't think she has missed out at all has probably gained in some respects because we stay home a lot of the time and as Toby is a pretty good sleeper she gets to spend a lot more time with me.
I have also just read 'Of course I love you, noe go to your room' by Diane Levy and have found it really helpful with the way I deal with things and understanding how she may be feeling.
Also I found that because Sophia came to the hospital with DH to pick me and Toby up she understood that he was here to stay and did not randomly turn up!!
Oh and also i found that her favourite toy has become more of a comfort than previously, got a lot more attention, but that is easing off again now?!
Sorry for the ramble!

Thanks guys! I know Jackson will be fine, but I guess I just think how hard it must be for them, and hope to make it easier.

Definately going to get a gift and we're keen to get a doll too. Don't think JJ will be that into the doll, so will just get a Warehouse cheapie I think!