Clingy toddler and Bub #2
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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Topic: Clingy toddler and Bub #2
Posted By: KiwiL
Subject: Clingy toddler and Bub #2
Date Posted: 23 October 2010 at 9:29am
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I am a bit nervous about out DS1 is going to be when DS2 arrives soon.
Jackson is quite clingy recently. We think a lot of it is to do with his sensory issues. They don't really cause too many problems and he is getting better all the time, but recently he loses the plot if new people come, or if we go to someone else's house. Screams and sobs and clings to me. He also used to be very good at playing independently at home, but these days he won't even go to another room to get his toys. It's all "Mummy find it, mummy do it, mummy come too" and if I don't he gets really upset. My midwife seemed horrified by this and said I should start saying no more to him. Tried it this morning and I just felt awful as he got so upset. I ended up having a wee cry in the shower. I already feel guilty about what he will miss out on when we bring bubs home. I know of couse millions of toddlers experience this and the end gain is bigger than the initial pain, but I am really concerned that he won't cope well. Do people have some stories to share about how their toddlers dealt with this massive change? Anyone else have particularly clingy toddlers - were there any strategies you used? |
Replies:
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 23 October 2010 at 10:06am
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maybe your feelings about him missing out are being communicated to him.. Really they dont miss out on anything, sometimes they have to wait a little bit for what they want but they dont miss out on anything. maybe instead of trying to get him to stop being clingy you could work on getting him to help you - in my experience little kids loving helping mummy. if you dont mind going with him to get things then why stop just cause the mw was horrified. We all do things differently and if it works for you then dont mind what others say. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: SophiasMummy
Date Posted: 23 October 2010 at 4:10pm
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I found that it was not as hard as I expected when we brought Toby home. Sophia was giong through a stage of wanting me to help and join in with lots of things, but found that she was actually okay for example when feeding Toby she actually liked that I was just sitting in one spot, she knew where to find me! Would often just bring things to me etc, learnt that I could not join in for a bit. I don't think she has missed out at all has probably gained in some respects because we stay home a lot of the time and as Toby is a pretty good sleeper she gets to spend a lot more time with me.
I have also just read 'Of course I love you, noe go to your room' by Diane Levy and have found it really helpful with the way I deal with things and understanding how she may be feeling. Also I found that because Sophia came to the hospital with DH to pick me and Toby up she understood that he was here to stay and did not randomly turn up!! Oh and also i found that her favourite toy has become more of a comfort than previously, got a lot more attention, but that is easing off again now?! Sorry for the ramble! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: jaycee
Date Posted: 23 October 2010 at 6:03pm
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Just a small suggestion that was made to us - have the baby 'give' a present to Jackson. Sophie gave Amy and Igglepiggle it it really helped.
A very good gift for baby to give is a doll so that the big kid has their own baby, then the big kid can look after their baby whilst you are with baby. There are some very realistic baby dolls at babystar and they have boy and girl ones  -------------   
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Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 24 October 2010 at 7:40pm
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Thanks guys! I know Jackson will be fine, but I guess I just think how hard it must be for them, and hope to make it easier.
Definately going to get a gift and we're keen to get a doll too. Don't think JJ will be that into the doll, so will just get a Warehouse cheapie I think! |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 25 October 2010 at 11:51am
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its a lot easier to the kids than it is the parents. i believe we tend to over think it sometimes and dont have enough trust in our little people to cope and adjust. so long as they arent mistreated or excluded the little ones love to help and are very interested in babies. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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