More sleep help - please!

Ok – I’d love your opinions on this one. Despite being the most adorable snuggle-monster, even I have to admit that Jacob has his failings – mainly when it comes to sleep. Most nights, he’s up every hour. Good nights, he’s up every second hour. On superb nights (which are sadly few and far between), we get a three or four hour stretch. Apart from the odd moment, I’m actually pretty unstressed about it – but I know that he should be able to do better, and I must admit as much as I’m coping fine, I would LOVE a bit more sleep!!!

Firstly, to rule out the obvious. I don’t rock him to sleep (he’s never liked that at all), I don’t feed him to sleep, he should be at a comfortable temperature, he has a lovie and his dummy. When I put him down, he’s pretty good at settling himself; he has times when he’s better than others, but lately as a rule getting him to sleep isn’t a huge fight. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have reflux or colic or any other uncomfortablenesses (he’s been hellishly constipated the last couple of weeks, but his sleeping hasn’t changed dramatically over that time, it’s been going on a lot longer than that and we’ve fixed that no-poo situation now). I don’t feed him every time he wakes up (even though it’s the easiest way to get him to go back down) – I let myself feed him every four hours at night (I’m stretching it out to five at the moment).

Probably about 75% of the time, it’s quite easy to get him to go back to sleep in the night – I just put his dummy in and pat his back for a moment and leave him – he’ll fuss for a while and go back to sleep. The other 25% of the time he’ll fight harder, but he’s usually back down within the hour.

Having ruled out everything else I can think of, I think perhaps he’s waking because he’s lost his dummy. I’m a little unsure, because I know he can do longer at times (even when it’s fallen out early in the sleep). We got a four hour (!) stretch the night before last. But that’s all I can think of. However, I’m very reluctant to take it off him because:
a) It’s incredibly helpful at getting him to settle
b) It’s incredibly helpful at stretching out his day sleeps (before we used it we’d never get more than 45 minutes, ever).
c) We’re going to Australia in two weeks for a fortnight, and I want him to have it on the plane and when he’s in a strange place over there.

What would you do?? Anyone been here? Any advice?

I have to admit that while I’m not finding the situation too hard in myself, I feel very embarrassed admitting that my six-month-old baby is still up every hour. If I didn’t want the advice, I’d never confess to it on OhBaby – I feel like I must be doing a pretty dreadful job of something when all the other Mums with similar-age babies I know complain if Bubs wakes up twice in the night. So please go easy on me – I’m doing everything I can possibly think of.

(The Plunket nurse made me furious when she said (to Jacob) “you’ve just got your Mummy round your little finger”. Excuse me? How exactly? I love him to bits, but I’m happy to be as firm on him as necessary (i.e. not feeding him even when it’s the easy option). I’m doing everything I can that I think is right, you silly lady, it’s not as if I know what will help but won’t do it because I’m soft or something. Grr.)

I was going to suggest The Sleepstore website too. They have loads of info and discussion forums.

My suggestion would be to start using he Verbal Reassurance technique. BUT if you're not too bothered with the current situation you may not be too keen on it cos it does involve letting them cry and is only appropriate if you're sure he's not hungry.

We used it as a last resort with huge success (worked very quickly & effectively with my girls).

Edited by Danda08

Don't feel embarrassed! My DD at 11.5 months still does hourly on bad nights and is still pretty much 2-3 hourly! The most she has ever done is 6-7 hours... But that's only happened maybe 4 or 5 times since birth (lol).

My doctor tried (well did) gave us a book by Gina Ford - Contented Little Baby... It wasn't for us so can't comment on if it worked or not because I didn't try but maybe someone else has??

Yea, I know that, Maya. So I assumed that Danda’s suggesting ditching the dummy, because when he’s using that to settle himself after waking (rightly or wrongly), he doesn’t need anything else like verbal reassurance techniques to settle him. But I thought it was worth checking, because she didn’t actually say anything about getting rid of the dummy...


I am seriously considering ditching the dummy. I'm still not 100% sure it's the problem, though. I mean, I know some experts advise against - and I also know other experts are sold on them (in fact, we started using it on recommendation from the family centre. Also, out of all the ladies in our coffee group who use dummies, Jacob's the only one having this problem. I don't want to mess with what is otherwise a brilliant tool for getting the lad to sleep if it's not going to help...

Edited to make myself clearer

Edited by Hopes

He does have his cuddly, millymollymandy - and he has been known to go to sleep sucking its nose instead of his dummy That's definitely easier for him to find too.

If I was going to wean him off the dummy before Oz, I should get onto it, I wouldn't want to have an international trip halfway through a transition like that, there was a lot of crying when I weaned him off his wrap!!

ETA that I could also jut feed him going up and coming down on the plane. His dummy would be handy, though, it's great at helping him settle when he's grumpy and confused, which I'm sure he will be!

Edited by Hopes

It definitely sounds like the dummy is the problem. Do you think you can hang in there till you get back from Aus?

It will be harder for a few weeks but once the dummy is gone his sleep will be soooooooo much better. And it is easier to wean the dummy at this age than over 8-9 months when they get more aware.

DS1 used a dummy but we never used it for all sleeps and so we could use it when we had to ie sickness, planes, staying at nana's house, but he never needed it. Not sure if it would work to wean it now and then still use it in Aus. It may be doubling your work! There are a few ways to wean off the dummy - here's a good thread...

http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=3908

Hopes do you have a dummy clip? So you can clip it to his pj's or sleeping bag?

Hopes is he on solids yet? might be worth a crack

Hey Hopes,

I was having trouble with DD2 doing only 45min sleeps during the day, and getting up once or twice at night (sorry not really a problem in comparison but I don't like getting up at night)!

To stretch out the daytime sleeps I used the Sleepstore advice on catnapping. Basically I started swaddling again. This worked instantly. We have had a couple of rough times lately with the heat, but I use the verbal reassurance technique 'Goodnight DD2' every five mins until she gets it. Now tends to have a 2.5 hr sleep in the morning and 1.5 in the afternoon.

The Sleepstore does have techniques involving both the dummy and no dummy. Can you wean off the dummy during the day and then move to night feeds?

My DD2 was sleeping from 7-7 with a big feed at 3 (and sometimes a 1am/5am feed). My personal rule is that if she gets up after six it is daytime but any earlier then back to bed.

After reading the sleepstore stuff I now give her a dreamfeed at 10.30 and hope that she will sleep until 7. For the first three nights she got up around 4. The first night VR worked after 30mins, the next two nights I gave up after an hour and fed her (she is always very thirsty).   Last night she slept through and we will see what happens tonight!!

Can you take turns with your partner with the sleep wake ups? I've used ear plugs a couple of times and my husband was on night duty.

Just a note, my elder daughter never adjusted to the time difference on any of my overseas trips. We were resigned to 4am wake ups!!

I think we've pretty much outgrown the wrap, Bobchannz. He was getting out of it a lot anyway, and then when he started rolling he'd end up faceplanted on the mattress unable to turn because his arms were trapped by his sides. So I don't think I'll go back to it - and his sleep staying pretty much the same when we lost it anyway (after the initial adjustment period).

He has a feed at 10 - usually not a dreamfeed, because he'll wake for it, but he shouldn't be hungry (and I really don't think he is). In fact, I think he could easily last overnight as far as food goes, but for now I'm happy to give him a middle-of-the-night feed if he asks for it. It's the unnecessary wake-ups inbetween that I'm keener to drop.

AND, to add to the mix, I paid attention when I went to him last night - and a number of times when he woke up, he HAD his dummy. Weird...

I still think the dummy is part of the problem... but am wondering why else would he wake up if he hasn't lost it!

Edited by Hopes