The name you chose and the reaction to it

Having a bit of an issue with my mother.

She's being a total menace in regards to the babys name and i want to slap her!

It started off all fun, and we actually had a great time looking through books and she'd ring me with names she'd thought of etc which was nice but may have given her the idea it was her decision to make as well...but can't be helped now.

Anyway, she's decided that the name will either be Mitchell or Harrison and whatever new name comes up she tests with the middle name Gregory (my dads name) which i never said i was going to use, she's assumed it all on her own! My dad died a few years back and i WAS thinking of using it but i don't like it being assumed or forced on me.

Its gotten to the point i've told her i refuse to discuss names with her at all because its my decision and she had her chance to name babies and she gets no say - but in her head its because i AM going to call him Mitchell or Harrison but want to suprise her with it!

I had settled on a name (Archer Gregory) but the babys father HATES it with a passion so i am back to a long long list of names - she just walked past and saw the name Julian and immedietly said that i could never name the baby that, she knows a guy called Julian and he's not a nice guy etc etc.

Yeah, SHE knows a Julian, i don't, and seriously get the hell out of my space, woman!!

I mentioned the name Oscar about a month ago, in passing, as a name that was in the paper that i didnt think was too bad and she hasnt shut up about it since - she has told all my relatives thats the name i want to use and how terrible is that etc, then has a big joke about my 'terrible taste in names' with them. And she has said that if i use a name she doesnt like then she won't call the baby that at all, she'll refer to him by a name SHE likes.

She's the type to meet her grandson for the first time and hear his name and tell me exactly what she thinks of it, she won't hold back and pretend to like it, she'll make fun of it to my face. I am putting so much freaking effort (maybe too much!) into finding a name and she's just being making me want to tear my hair out.

Anyone else have this issue? Any idea on how to resolve it? Or does it just sound like she'll be too smitten with her gorgeous new grandchild to care about what name i pick? Am i overreacting?

She doesnt help by asking me every day if i've got a name for the baby yet and when i say no reminding me how fantastic the Mitchell/Harrison combo is or if i say i have she won't shut up about me telling her what they are! I can't win!

That's exactly why I don't tell people the names I am thinking/choosing. Or I give a large list, so they don't know which ones you are really serious about.

And I totally agree with the whole expectation of middle name. I always knew I was going to use my late fathers name as DD2's middle name, but never told anyone as I thought it would be a nice surprise for everyone. After she was born, my mum suggested on the phone I should use my dad's name...wtf lady....let me tell you when I decide on MY babies name!!

ANyway....good luck with that!

Did you want me to egg her car?

Could you sit her down and (nicely) talk to her? let her know this is your son and she should sit back&enjoy being a grandma? I know its probably not that easy but maybe it could help

Sounds like you are getting a lot of pressure from everyone about babies name and thats not what you need!!!!!!

Hahaha, yes, throw out some wild ones to put her off track

I'm thinking Cuthbert... or Murgatroyd... something nice and unusual

Mum thought I said Michael and was all excited. I had to correct her and tell her that it was Micah and she was visibly disappointed and goes 'thats not a real name its a made up name?' me - um no its a real name and is actually one of the books in the bible.

With Ilysa she didn't say anything negative about it but couldn't manage to say it correctly for weeks

But it was our decision we didn't give any extended family the option of having any input - your Mum is sounding a bit full.

My twins have a cousin called Oscar and his younger brother is Griffin.

Yikes!

I referred to Callum as "Richie" during my first pregnancy. My mum kept telling me people would call him Richie Rich, I said ah no, not everyone's as old as you and anyway it was after Richie McCaw we didn't tell anyone our shortlist till after C was born. One of the first things MIL said when we told her we were having a boy was "as long as you don't call him Michael or Patrick!" and Patrick Michael was our top name at the time so that put us off talking about names with anyone.

We referred to Daniel as Wolfgang before he was born. Some people thought we were serious about it, it was quite funny seeing their reaction

I would like to think you're right, that once the baby is here your mum will be so smitten that she won't make fun of your baby's name. It's a bit harder to make fun of someone's name to their face, even if they don't understand what you're saying

That sucks, poor you!

When we told Dh's grandparents our daughter's name they said "What's that short for?" and seemed quite surprised that that was her whole name. (Ella)

They don't like Jack's name either, but they're nice and discreet about their feelings!

We had an older woman at a party the other night ask Jack's name and she said "No! What's his real name?" when Dh told her.
She thought it was terrible and didn't hold back about saying so, it was quite funny.
She later told us how awful, unnecessary and damaging dummies are too, hehehe.

lurker,
I love their names too

Crikey bowie!!

DP and I are keeping the name secret until she is born. The names themselves are pretty common but we're going with uncommon spellings (poor girl she'll be forever correcting people's spellilng). My family were cool with not knowing the name but DP's parents keep going on and on about it! His mother keeps asking is it this or that? What does the name mean? I told her that we made the name up so she won't guess it. but ffs please respect our wishes and wait until she's born...

When we told them that we were pregnant his dad said oh if it's a boy you can call him Andre and if it's a girl you can call her Amy. OK I have nothing against either of those two names but I don't want them for my child. The problem is he'll probably call her that because it's the name he likes - using the argument that we call her (whatever nickname we may have) and so he can call her what he likes. Yes but ours is a nickname, not another first name!!! I told him that if he wants to name something then get a pet!!