Day Care Issues - what would you do?

So, JJ has been in full-time day care since he was one. He'll go a couple of days a week once the new baby comes. Mostly because he has always loved it.

The day care we use is not the flashest (if anything, it is probably a little run-down) but it has always been the staff that have been amazing. I have had total confidence in them, and the amount Jackson has talked about them shows me he has really connected with them.

Until recently....

The Centre Manager has recently left (gutting, she went to another centre in town) and she was replaced by this older lady. My first impressions of her was that she was quite vague and away with the fairies and very hippy-ish. I tried to reserve judgement but I find it very difficult to talk to her and feel like I am being understood.

Since she has arrived, there have been a number of issues:

* JJ was sent home for having diarrohea and made to stay away for two days. But he didn't have it, just his normal loose poo (his are like that as he eats a lot of yoghurt and drinks a lot of milk due to all his feeding issues). I wrote the manager an email explaining Jackson's situation but the reply basically blamed other staff

* JJ has started crying and clinging when we go to drop him off. Even when he just started he didn't do that.

* Today when I picked him up, the centre manager was trying to pick him off the floor and he was sobbing his head off trying to get away from her

* The vive has totally changed. The staff don't seem engaged and smily and they never have any time to chat anymore.

* I have noticed JJ is never ready to go home anymore. He used to always have his shoes on and a clean nappy. Lately he's been barely dressed and the last three days he has had poo in his pants

A lot of this I was hoping was due to his age - getting more independent and knowing what was going on. The other weird thing was that there was a sign on the door that said "There is nothing worst for a child to see than a teacher who doesn't want to be here."
I thought that was a really weird thing to have on the door, and I noticed the typo (worst) cos I am a grammar nazi. A couple of days later there was a handwritten amendment on it that said "Trudy (one of the carers) says I have made a grammar mistake, but I disagree. Write your thoughts here:"
Very, very odd. To me it seemed weird in the first place, but to call out another staff member like that is just not that cool.

Anyway, today I picked him up and one of his favourite carers was outside alone and I managed to talk to her. I just simply said to her "Trudy, is everything ok here at the moment?" She looked horrified and then came up to me and said "do you want me to lie, or tell the truth". She then went on to say how awful it was, how the staff were all miserable and things were being forced on them that they didn't agree with and that she was this close to leaving". I said I had noticed the vibe had changed and she told me I was about the third mum to say something. I then said I was thinking of writing a letter to KidiCorp and she basically begged me to do so because things were so bad.

Sorry for the rant, but I feel so disappointed by this. I don't want to move Jackson but I really don't like the way things are going there.

If I write a letter - how much detail should I go into? I could go on and on (this is just the tip of it!). What can I say without fear that this will come back to the staff and they'll end up bearing the brunt of it? Should I say what the carer said to me? What if that looks bad for her? Will people just think I am neurotic?

Help!! I really don't know what to do but I can't bear to think I am sending JJ somewhere that isn't a supportive and caring environment anymore.

I'd move centres asap, simply cause even if you write a letter and upper management get involved it won't mean things will change overnight. And you obviously aren't comfortable with how things are now.

I'd write the letter regardless but leave out names but state examples of what you have seen change.

Yep, write the letter, leave out names...
How you've explained it on here was so clear, your letter will surely have some impact with the management.

and then..leave or not... it all depends really how long your are willing to wait. It sounds like JJ is not happy at all so I would consider getting him out of there.

Good luck

Edited by Chops1975

^^ what they say

Keep your letter objective with things that you have observed - they can't argue with what YOU have seen and experienced. That helps distance it a bit from the staff as well. In the letter, I wouldn't get involved in what the staff told you about their views - to be harsh, they need to raise that with mgmt, not you.

not what you need right now

Write a letter that is completely honest and all-encompassing of what you have concerns about. Don't include that you spoke to a staff member, but do include that you have noticed that the staff are unhappy. That your son is unhappy. Request a response. State that if things do not change, you will have to take your son elsewhere as it is imperative that he is happy. Don't request just a reply but a meeting with someone who will reassure you that they will be taking action, what that action will be and state that you would like a follow-up meeting to see whether things have changed/are now working.

If their response is less than adequate, I would pull your son out of there. Leadership dictates whether a workplace is happy. If the leadership is bad, the staff are miserable, the kids are miserable. Give them a chance to sort out the leadership but if they don't/won't or it's insufficient - then it's not worth it in terms of your sons happiness.

Just my opinion. All the best...

P.S. The new manager sounds like a nutter.

i would write the letter... i would also ring and speak to someone as well though. Let them know how happy you were but you arent now and that you are going to pull your child...

i would perhaps also speak to the centre about why his nappy hasnt been changed, regardless of the new manager standards should still be kept with regards to that.

I tend to say pull if he's unhappy and you're unhappy and have lost confidence. Maybe write the letter (and follow up with a phone call a few days later) and take some time to look around other places - see what's out there but also see if the centre takes any action.

I can understand how you are feeling as I felt the same when DS moved up to the over 2's. I looked into new DC but ultimately stayed where I was because DS was happy there. I did speak to the centre about my concerns and have noticed a huge improvement. It did make the first few drop offs after "the talk" uncomfortable but hey!

My concern would be that more staff will leave which means you are stuck at a DC with the reason why you were there gone.

Perhaps put his name on a wait list somewhere and see how you feel when his name comes up. You don't have to tell the new DC you will be dropping to part time straight away anyway.

Change him and definitely contact the centres HO.

They cannot give out your details even if you name names of the teacher you are not happy with.

If you get no joy and things get really bad contact the Education review office - I did after I pulled DD out of daycare earlier this year.

Just texted you Laurie - i want to get together to talk about this.

I have well noticed the change in vibe too, and am really upset that X says she is now close to leaving - as you mentioned it is the carers that really make that place.

When i picked Catriona up today she refused to say goodbye to the manager, and instead turned her head into my shoulder (and normally she waves goodbye and yells bye0bye! at everyone)

ETA - sorry all to butt in - Catriona goes to the same daycare as Laurie!

Edit again to remove a name - never know who is watching!

Edited by Susiec