Day Care Issues - what would you do?
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Topic: Day Care Issues - what would you do?
Posted By: KiwiL
Subject: Day Care Issues - what would you do?
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 5:31pm
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So, JJ has been in full-time day care since he was one. He'll go a couple of days a week once the new baby comes. Mostly because he has always loved it.
The day care we use is not the flashest (if anything, it is probably a little run-down) but it has always been the staff that have been amazing. I have had total confidence in them, and the amount Jackson has talked about them shows me he has really connected with them. Until recently.... The Centre Manager has recently left (gutting, she went to another centre in town) and she was replaced by this older lady. My first impressions of her was that she was quite vague and away with the fairies and very hippy-ish. I tried to reserve judgement but I find it very difficult to talk to her and feel like I am being understood. Since she has arrived, there have been a number of issues: * JJ was sent home for having diarrohea and made to stay away for two days. But he didn't have it, just his normal loose poo (his are like that as he eats a lot of yoghurt and drinks a lot of milk due to all his feeding issues). I wrote the manager an email explaining Jackson's situation but the reply basically blamed other staff * JJ has started crying and clinging when we go to drop him off. Even when he just started he didn't do that. * Today when I picked him up, the centre manager was trying to pick him off the floor and he was sobbing his head off trying to get away from her * The vive has totally changed. The staff don't seem engaged and smily and they never have any time to chat anymore. * I have noticed JJ is never ready to go home anymore. He used to always have his shoes on and a clean nappy. Lately he's been barely dressed and the last three days he has had poo in his pants A lot of this I was hoping was due to his age - getting more independent and knowing what was going on. The other weird thing was that there was a sign on the door that said "There is nothing worst for a child to see than a teacher who doesn't want to be here." I thought that was a really weird thing to have on the door, and I noticed the typo (worst) cos I am a grammar nazi. A couple of days later there was a handwritten amendment on it that said "Trudy (one of the carers) says I have made a grammar mistake, but I disagree. Write your thoughts here:" Very, very odd. To me it seemed weird in the first place, but to call out another staff member like that is just not that cool. Anyway, today I picked him up and one of his favourite carers was outside alone and I managed to talk to her. I just simply said to her "Trudy, is everything ok here at the moment?" She looked horrified and then came up to me and said "do you want me to lie, or tell the truth". She then went on to say how awful it was, how the staff were all miserable and things were being forced on them that they didn't agree with and that she was this close to leaving". I said I had noticed the vibe had changed and she told me I was about the third mum to say something. I then said I was thinking of writing a letter to KidiCorp and she basically begged me to do so because things were so bad. Sorry for the rant, but I feel so disappointed by this. I don't want to move Jackson but I really don't like the way things are going there. If I write a letter - how much detail should I go into? I could go on and on (this is just the tip of it!). What can I say without fear that this will come back to the staff and they'll end up bearing the brunt of it? Should I say what the carer said to me? What if that looks bad for her? Will people just think I am neurotic? Help!! I really don't know what to do but I can't bear to think I am sending JJ somewhere that isn't a supportive and caring environment anymore. |
Replies:
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 5:43pm
| i think you have to write that letter, and say how great the staff were previously and then move him. it sucks finding another centre. perhaps if one of his carers is going somewhere, he can tag along and go there too - so it's not entirely new, |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 5:46pm
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I'd move centres asap, simply cause even if you write a letter and upper management get involved it won't mean things will change overnight. And you obviously aren't comfortable with how things are now.
I'd write the letter regardless but leave out names but state examples of what you have seen change. |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 5:50pm
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I think you do need to take JJ out of it , what made the place one you love is no longer , and he (and the rest of the kids ) should be in a place where their caregivers are wanting to be there .
I think you also need to make the change sooner rather than later , so that he is transitioned into the new place and nice and comfy there before his brother arrives . As for kidicorp, yeah , I would write to them , it sounds very bizarre whats going on there , and staff blatantly putting each other down , is never a good sign .... ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Chops1975
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 5:55pm
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Yep, write the letter, leave out names...
How you've explained it on here was so clear, your letter will surely have some impact with the management. and then..leave or not... it all depends really how long your are willing to wait. It sounds like JJ is not happy at all so I would consider getting him out of there. Good luck ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 5:57pm
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Yep definitely change him & definitely write the letter. Man I feel sorry for the staff & also the kids too ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 6:09pm
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^^ what they say
Keep your letter objective with things that you have observed - they can't argue with what YOU have seen and experienced. That helps distance it a bit from the staff as well. In the letter, I wouldn't get involved in what the staff told you about their views - to be harsh, they need to raise that with mgmt, not you.  not what you need right now  ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 6:33pm
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I'd write the letter much as you've written here, kidicorp are a large organisation with a lot of centres they can't do anything if they don't know what's going on and get a complaint.
to you and your wee man ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: nathansmummy
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 6:36pm
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Write a letter that is completely honest and all-encompassing of what you have concerns about. Don't include that you spoke to a staff member, but do include that you have noticed that the staff are unhappy. That your son is unhappy. Request a response. State that if things do not change, you will have to take your son elsewhere as it is imperative that he is happy. Don't request just a reply but a meeting with someone who will reassure you that they will be taking action, what that action will be and state that you would like a follow-up meeting to see whether things have changed/are now working.
If their response is less than adequate, I would pull your son out of there. Leadership dictates whether a workplace is happy. If the leadership is bad, the staff are miserable, the kids are miserable. Give them a chance to sort out the leadership but if they don't/won't or it's insufficient - then it's not worth it in terms of your sons happiness. Just my opinion. All the best... P.S. The new manager sounds like a nutter. |
Posted By: LJsmum
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 6:46pm
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I agree move him and write the letter. The centre is no longre the wonderful place it was. As you know staff make a centre. It's all about the people.
Good luck. Also as an ECE teacher myself when a complaint is made we need to act on it right away and show the steps taken to slove the problems. So be very specific in your letter and not personal. -------------  
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 6:47pm
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i would write the letter... i would also ring and speak to someone as well though. Let them know how happy you were but you arent now and that you are going to pull your child...
i would perhaps also speak to the centre about why his nappy hasnt been changed, regardless of the new manager standards should still be kept with regards to that. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 7:36pm
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Thanks guys for all the responses. It scares me how many of you said to pull him out! I am so reluctant... he's been so happy and I know that if that manager wasn't there he would still be happy. I am scared that we won't find a centre that we like so much, or who will be prepared to take him full-time till December and then part time afterwards. Plus, the staff know so much about all his eating issues (that I guess he's mostly over now) but it still makes me nervous trying to find somewhere else.
I am going to speak to the previous manager and see if she has someone that I recommend going to directly. PS The sign on the door, and the amendments, were made by the new manager. Seems such an odd thing to do! |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 7:38pm
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I tend to say pull if he's unhappy and you're unhappy and have lost confidence. Maybe write the letter (and follow up with a phone call a few days later) and take some time to look around other places - see what's out there but also see if the centre takes any action. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 7:55pm
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TBH I would change, people should love what they are doing... imo.
It sounds really I don't know, depressing... now? ETA: That does seem so weird/odd! Bizarre even. Things *may* change over time if you write a letter but if you are really unhappy then have a look around after you write your letter jic you find somewhere better. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 8:17pm
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I can understand how you are feeling as I felt the same when DS moved up to the over 2's. I looked into new DC but ultimately stayed where I was because DS was happy there. I did speak to the centre about my concerns and have noticed a huge improvement. It did make the first few drop offs after "the talk" uncomfortable but hey!
My concern would be that more staff will leave which means you are stuck at a DC with the reason why you were there gone. Perhaps put his name on a wait list somewhere and see how you feel when his name comes up. You don't have to tell the new DC you will be dropping to part time straight away anyway. -------------  
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Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 8:37pm
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Lots of good advice. Thanks guys!
It's made harder with the new baby coming. I know JJ is not in any danger and he mostly seems still to be happy enough there... it's just a subtle shift I have noticed. I think I will write the letter and request a meeting and then give it a month. If I don't see significant improvements then I will look elsewhere. That will still give us a couple of months before B2 comes along. |
Posted By: LILLIS
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 8:39pm
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Change him and definitely contact the centres HO.
They cannot give out your details even if you name names of the teacher you are not happy with. If you get no joy and things get really bad contact the Education review office - I did after I pulled DD out of daycare earlier this year. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 8:49pm
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is there any way you can pop in unexpectedly during the day and see what is going on. I think that even if the staff dont like the manager then it shouldnt stop them from taking care of the kids properly and it being a big chain day care there should be standard policies in place regardless of the manager. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: catisla
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 8:52pm
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Just texted you Laurie - i want to get together to talk about this.
I have well noticed the change in vibe too, and am really upset that X says she is now close to leaving - as you mentioned it is the carers that really make that place. When i picked Catriona up today she refused to say goodbye to the manager, and instead turned her head into my shoulder (and normally she waves goodbye and yells bye0bye! at everyone) ETA - sorry all to butt in - Catriona goes to the same daycare as Laurie! Edit again to remove a name - never know who is watching! ------------- |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 8:57pm
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Laurie and Susie - why don't you guys hire Trudy to look after your kids in one of your homes? Like Nanny share?
I don't think I would even send my child back there, sounds like there is a lot of "infighting" going on and even neglect of the children. Yours kids are scared of the new manager by the sounds of it.. poor babies. I wouldnt' even be giving them a month, I would be calling the head office and getting them there ASAP! ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: hannibal
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 9:10pm
| Hi, we went thru a change about a year ago and luckily its been mainly smooth sailing! Do you know any of the other parents? Can you talk to them, if you don't maybe try and engage them outside and ask if they have noticed any changes to the staff mood, kids behaviour etc. Does the DC have a committee? Can you approach them with your concerns? If you really aren't happy then take Jackson out as its not fair on him if he is upset. |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 9:16pm
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ring them tomorrow and get firm that you want immediate help and resolution. one of the kidicorp values and visions is "Respect for Children, Colleagues and facilities". thats straight from their website.
i like what mel said too about hiring trudy. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 9:25pm
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Wow thats horrible! :(
I wouldnt even send him back there Laurie, thats just not on. Its supposed to be a place you feel comfortable sending JJ. I'd also write a letter as well ------------- |
Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 9:42pm
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I would send the letter, but also get together with the other Mums there and see who else agrees with you. Surely more than one opinion on the matter would help!
And I would be looking at alternative care too, what a horrible thing to go through  ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: Renee & Lauren
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 9:59pm
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What centre is this? PM if you want I used to work in daycare.
Sorry just read it was a Kidicorp one. I know someone who used to work for them and unfortunately I don't think a letter will actually achieve anything at all - it all stems from the CEO who is all about money and not the care of the kids.. would be interested in which Kidicorp centre it is though ------------- http://lilyslim.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 11:29pm
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Yeah, I get the feeling Kidicorp is mostly about profit. But i do think pressure from parents can achieve change - so I will make sure I am firm with my expectations in this situation. It is Early Years Oxford Street in Tawa.... I liked it as it was a very small centre and really felt like one big family. Not so much now.
I know the staff still genuinely care for the kids and JJ still talks about his carers constantly, so I think he is getting good care there - I just think they are run ragged now. I haven't seen a couple of them for a week or so, so I am keen to find out if they have reduced staffing levels. That will also greatly affect how I feel about sending JJ there. It's just so disappointing! Everything was going SO well and I was so sure Jackson effectively had a second home there. To have this happen is just gutting. Plus, I really like a lot of the staff so to know that they are feeling awful hurts me too. I appreciate all the responses guys - your care and advice has been quite overwhelming! PS I like the idea of stealing Trudy!! 
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Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 11:33pm
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Oh, and I am definately keen to engage some of the other parents. Any ideas how I would go about that though? There is no committee or anything that I know of.
I don't want it to look like a hate campaign of course, so I have to be careful how I go about it. Am also going to check out some other local centres - though none are as small and personal, which is what I really liked about this one. ETA: Sometimes you just don't realise how lucky you are until something happens. Grrrrrr for wrecking my perfect little world strange lady! |
Posted By: nathansmummy
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 11:42pm
| I would just phone around and arrange an afternoon tea at your house and then ask how they are finding the centre recently with the management change. And present your concerns and get their feedback and suggestions. |
Posted By: Renee & Lauren
Date Posted: 29 July 2010 at 7:23am
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What about ABC in Redwood or Dress Mart (not sure how old your wee one is sorry). I have heard they are good.
Maybe you could talk to some of the mums in the carpark - give them your phone number and say you want to talk to them about some issues you have been having with the centre and see if you have had them too etc. ------------- http://lilyslim.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 29 July 2010 at 9:02am
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I didn't read all, but Josh goes to a Kidcorp centre here in Palmy and it is fab, the staff are wonderful and very caring. I think you need to write a letter to Kidicorp and tell them what is happening at the centre because as you said it was a great place before the centre management changed. They need to look at her. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: pumpkino
Date Posted: 29 July 2010 at 9:12am
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Hi - you've been given some great advice here. In a perfect world you could leave your son where he is, write a letter and management would make changes immediately when they realised how bad things have become. Unfortunately from some of the other responses (from people in the industry etc) it doesn't sound like this is likely to happen.
If it were me I would be reluctant to send my child back. I would e-mail a letter to management immediately and say that you have concerns, that they are significant to the extent that you are keeping your child home and that if you don't have a response within a couple of days you will be pulling him out altogether. That might wake them up?? If you can get other parents on board that would add a lot of weight as it will mean $$$$ at stake. It's so difficult - you don't want to send your child to a place where he's clearly unhappy but on the other hand you don't want to take drastic action and disrupt his routine completely in case there is improvement... Sorry that's no help at all but just wanted to sympathise!! Good luck :):) |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 29 July 2010 at 9:29am
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ring them up - and follow up with a letter too. loiter in the carpark and talk to the other mums... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 29 July 2010 at 1:08pm
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What I think is odd is that the careworker said can you write a letter...what are they doing about the sitution if they are so unhappy they are thinking of leaving? That would actually put me off sending my baby there because I want my baby looked after by people who will stand up for themselves and others.
I am sure they must have some kind of system in place where the workers can get in touch with someone if they have issues with the direct management. ------------- 
 Oct 11
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Posted By: FionaO
Date Posted: 29 July 2010 at 7:40pm
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Blimey Laurie thats rough!!!
The signs on the door are truly weird, what an odd thing for a manager to do, sounds like JJ is picking up on the vibes from the staff. Great advice from everyone and let me know if there is anything I can do to help, we would happily have JJ on a friday if you needed to sort anything out quickly. x ------------- 
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Posted By: FionaO
Date Posted: 29 July 2010 at 7:43pm
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Told DH about the sign thing, he said nutter - can't get over who would do that sounds pathetic, where did she come from has she got much experience in child care? -------------
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Posted By: bun_in_the_oven
Date Posted: 30 July 2010 at 7:12am
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In my opinion.....
I wouldnt race to pull him out.... you need to talk to the supervisor and go to the managment at kidicorp. You need to allow the teaching team the time to address the issues. Its only fair. Keep the letter (or phone calls) to the facts. Your PERSONAL experience, how you feel, concerns, the changes that have been unsettling to you etc You may find it even harder to change centres, re settling in.. other issues etc.. Good Luck and let us know how you go |
Posted By: Twinboys2b
Date Posted: 30 July 2010 at 2:04pm
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Hi,
I agree in pulling him out, usually signs don't show to the outside world until they are really bad IYKWIM so if you're noticing things it's probably worse than you think. As hard as it is, I'd start looking at other centres and I don't necessarily think size matters. visited heaps around my area and settled on a kidicorp which has the most amazing carers EVER - love them to bits and they're a large centre. Even better is that my boys are together with just 18months - 2 year olds due to having such large numbers so their peer group are all the same age. It can't hurt in looking around and once the letter is sent and see what sort of reponse you get you can decide from there. I understand the stress this would cause in changing J's routine but it may be better to move now than when new bubs arrives. And that sign shows that management realise staff arn't putting on their smiley faces when parents are around so imagine their faces when parents arn't there! Good luck with whatever you decide. ------------- 3yr old gorgeous ID twin boys. |
Posted By: Leish
Date Posted: 04 August 2010 at 8:11pm
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How long has the new person been there? Iliana has a new head teacher and there was a little bit of upset when she first started - you know - teething problems I guess. I sent the centre manager an email and outlined my concerns. Within a week, the things I had raised had been dealt with and Iliana has been back to her normal happy self. She is at Early Years Redwood. I would give the management an opportunity to sort things out and tell them, very openly and franly, what your concerns are.
If you don't get anywhere with the current centre and are looking to move JJ, First five (around the Porirua Hosp grounds) has an excellent reputation and is a very small intimate facility. I have heard excellent things about them both from parents and impartial staff friends of mine. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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