Do some Mums really do this?!

Hmmm hoping this isn't gonna come across as toooo judgemental cos I know it takes all sorts...BUT.....I had a conversation with another Mum today and was *really* suprised at how uncomfortable I felt with her revelations.

Our babies are about the same age, give or take a few weeks. We were chatting about what they were up to (as you do) and I commented that Clodagh had never been a great sleeper and was 'still' feeding twice a night. She literally nearly fell off her chair and replied 'really? My baby has been sleeping through the night for 12/13 hours since 4 months old!  I said 'Oh? really?? You're lucky!' (although at that stage I think I knew what might have been coming.....)

She carried on: 'yes I decided one night I wasn't going to get up to baby anymore. So I didn't. That first night he cried for an hour and forty five minutes and I never once went to see him.The second night he screamed for an hour. By the end of the week he was 'only' crying for ten minutes before giving up and now he sleeps through'.

Um ok. She wasn't bothered at all by any of this and I just felt desperately sorry for her wee bubba. 4 months old being left to cry/scream that long? I know I'm a bit of a sook but wow that took my breath away TBH. Do some Mums really do that? Not being funny, I'd just like to know!!

Yeah I know some people are in the 'cry it out camp' (which I'm not) but it was the length of time and AGE of the baby concerned which worried me.  She didn't seem at all bothered and was also suprised I was 'still' BF.

And ditto, I couldn't and wouldn't let them cry that long. I do it with Dan now sometimes if I know he's tired and needs to sleep but it never lasts more than 10 minutes and is usually about 2 (but feels like 20!)

Yes, I leave Clodagh if it's whinging grizzling but this woman was saying SCREAMING.   Clody gets hysterical v quickly and I never ever leave her more than 10 minutes and that's at 9 months!  Perhaps more fool me but there's a difference aye between crying grizzling and full blown distress. Oh and I'm sure I'll be 'harder' when and if # 2 comes along but I'm buggered if I'll ever leave any baby that long on their own regardless of how tired I am

Wow thats a very long time ino. I have heard of an older child 18mths old being left to just cry but not a baby like that.

DD woke the other night and cried and cried and I know it was only about 3mins but her dad couldn't stand it and got up to her. She's a very strong willed little girl and even mum commented the next morning how she could hear her and could hear it wasn't distressed/upset/hurt etc. It was a I want this and your not letting me have it... She wanted to play at 4am. She learnt that I wasn't having any of it and 4am is not playtime.

1hr40min is excessive! Crying screaming my gosh!

Ok gotta go DD just smacked her head on her highchair. I shouldn't laugh should I?

I think Brooke was pretty much sleeping through by about 4-5 months reliably, but then after that she went through various stages of teething and waking.  I 'instinctively' knew when wee girl didn't need middle of the night feeding anymore but didn't rush the whole thing (didn't want to deny her if she was genuinely hungry). 

Kinda can tell the difference between a hungry cry and a teething/pain type cry, and also I didn't let her go into the out of control screaming stage, though would let her do the 'settling' cry.  I can't handle her being left to cry for more than 5-10 mins.

Just do what makes you and your baby comfortable.

Yep - we did it with Jack but it was grizzling, not screaming.

For Ava, I've had to, from an early age. I was getting 2 hours sleep a day and DH was away so I had to wheel her to the other end of the house and let her scream for a couple of hours while I slept. I wouldn't normally let her cry for that long, but when she was screaming for 12-18 hours a day there wasn't much else I could do.

I can't do CIO or CC crying at all. Came across an interesting post through an attachment parenting group

(Warning: Controversial!)

Just let her cry

arohanui, I've read that blog post before, it is such a well-written piece! And certainly puts into perspective what it IS LIKE for a little baby.

fattartsrock, I completely agree, yes it's judgemental but it is disgusting to leave a baby to cry!

What I'm surprised the most with is that mothers who have told me that they have let their babies CIO at a young age (actually at any age) always back it up with - ''it was quite hard for me'' without any regard for their how hard it is on their baby.

Obviously I am not in the CIO camp, nor the CC camp - however that doesn't mean I haven't had to put DD into her cot, leaving her screaming for 5 mins while I compose myself. Like the advert currently playing on TV I have done this because I've been ready to explode I am human afterall. But I wouldn't use this as part of 'sleep training' - there are gentle methods to help/teach a baby to sleep through.

Oh and to top that - I heard of a mother who let her 3 day old baby CIO as part of her 4 hourly breastfeeding routine, because she was not going to create a dependent baby Even more disturbing is she is a medical professional

Mamma2N wrote: Oh and to top that - I heard of a mother who let her 3 day old baby CIO as part of her 4 hourly breastfeeding routine, because she was not going to create a dependent baby Even more disturbing is she is a medical professional

Golly gosh! (For want of a better expression perhaps FFS would have been better). You would hope that a medical professional would have done her research. (Well, I hope that everybody regardless of profession does some research - but that's beside the point).