Comparing yourself

I used to get really worried everybody else was parenting so much 'better' than me but now my kids are older I feel quite good about the way I parent. One thing I try so hard to not do is brag about how awesome my kids are when someone else has asked a question about their own child. That drives me up the freakin wall reading these competitions on FB or on here when some poor mother has asked for help. I remember the uncertainty of being a new mother and how you feel everything your baby does is a direct reflection of your parenting skills so I try not to add to it!!

In saying that there are some really calm awesome parents where I envy their ability to maintain their cool and parent how I would like to parent. I am confident I'm doing the best I can though

Ditto re facebook!

I totally compare parenting but normally in my favour lol, like 'i wouldnt let my child run around like that' which is so ridiculous because i don't have a running around child yet and no idea how hard it is and chances are i WILL let DS run around like that anyway but there you go, i still do it.

Bizzy wrote: I know quite often i see people on FB or message boards and wonder at how marvelous there children are and what fabulous parents they must be, but then i wonder how much is my perception and how much is just them putting out the positive or even making themselves sounds better?

Exactly...it's want they want you to see....

No, not really. I do take notice of what other parents do with their kids but it's more just 'Oh ok that's new/different/cool/not for me' but it doesn't bother me or make me feel and better or worse.

I don't tend to brag about DD much on here or on FB but do find other mums saying 'Oooh xyz did this today' and I'll think and sometimes say 'Oh, DD has been doing that too!' but never said it before because I didn't think it was overly important/worth sharing.

I never share anyway bad parts, for example most people are horrified that my almost 16 month old was waking (still) up to 8x a night for a feed until recently! She is now sleeping through the night but I never felt I had to share that with anyone. It honestly didn't bother me that she was but most people seemed to have an opinion or issue and claimed to know what I was doing wrong... I do sometimes share cute things she does though.

What other kids do in terms of milestones has never bothered me either... I know Lily will do them when she is ready (just like sleeping through the night although she did that while I was away and MIL helped her).

Tbh I think you can get too hung up comparing yourself and your kids to others and to me, doesn't that take the fun out of it?? Yes I am a first time mum and to me it's all about learning no matter how many kids you have! Just enjoy it and try your best. That's all you are expected to do imo.

ETA: And this is a bit of a mummy brag but if you couldn't tell I am really happy and confident with the way I parent and a lot of that confidence comes from trusting myself as a mum, my intuition and my instincts. I know I am a good mum - my daughter is happy, healthy and confident so what do I have to worry about?

Edited by High9

Deb - people definitely put out the best side, unconsciously most of the time as it's the side they want to remember! I know my blog doesn't mention any of the PMS fueled tantrums that I throw

In saying that, I really appreciate it when someone who always has gorgeous photography and a spotless house cuts me some slack and lets in a shot that shows their mountain of washing to be folded in the background. heh