ttc#2 , 1st birth traumatic...

Alittleloopy,

Big hugs on your first birth experience, it sounds quite traumatic. I totally understand your hesitation as I ended up being two weeks overdue and being induced. Ended up having an epi and everything seemed to be going ok, dialated to 10 cm and then it all went downhill from there. Failed ventouse and then they rushed me in for an emergency c section and ended up putting me under. My husband wasn't allowed in and i've never gotten over the whole thing, especially the fact that neither of us where there to witness our beautiful daughter coming into the world.

i also lost a lot of blood, was in for five days and if I am honest it took me a good year to feel right again. I had five iron shots a month later to help with that, I was so tired on top of having a new baby to look after.

So I am now six months pregnant with my second. My daughter will be three and half when this arrives, it's taken me that long to get the guts up to do it all again.

Have had an ok pregnancy but starting to get nervous about the birth. I've just made an appointment to see a specialist in post traumatic distress disorder as I believe I had that for quite a while after the birth as I kept getting flash backs of the whole thing and still end up in tears over it all. So I thought it was a good idea to get some help and put myself in a good place mentally before the birth.

I would dearly love not to have a c section again as I don't want to go through the recovery again or the whole experience to be honest. But I've resigned myself to make no decisions until its actually time to make a call. My first baby was a 10 pounder and I'm only 5ft 2 and she was having trouble coming out. So i will wait and see how big it is. My midwife has told me I'll go see the positive birth clinic soon and talk to them about it.

I think for me is I've made a point to make sure I've got enough support this time and will inform myself as much as possible, i've also made a point not to get my hopes up about any kind of birth and just go with the flow (well as much as i can).

I'm not sure anything I've said will help but there is help out there for people who've had a traumatic birth experience. I think it's worth seeking it out and well, what have we got to loose?

good luck on your journey!
am seeing the ptsd person on monday, wish me luck :)

disco

I've been meaning to go see someone for ages and when I got pregnant I wanted to use the same midwife as my husband and I had gotten on so well with her and she was lovely and lives not far from us. Anyway I went for a prenatal massage and the lady recommended this person and it turned out she was in the same clinic as my midwife so I thought it might be a sign from the universe!!

we decided to go for another child because I'm not getting any younger and I didn't really want the gap to be any bigger than it was. I guess I'm a bit stubborn and although terrified if be truly honest at going through another birth, i hate to give in to fear, and knowing what you get at the end, i think for me, it's worth it. Another reason I guess, like yourself I'm hoping for this birth to heal some old wounds and help me move forward and accept what happened.

We also just rennovated our house, almost a new build, so I wanted to make sure we would be finished a few months at least before baby arrives.

I just received a letter from the hospital saying I'm booked in, and I'm fine with that, I guess its just how its all managed once we're there. I'm seeing my midwife next week so I hope to start getting a better picture of my options. I was talking to a friend the other day I hadn't seen for ages and she said that you can always prepare for a csection and have some ideas on how to make that the best experience it can be, if it does go that way, (i'm thinking if it's an elective) which i thought was a good idea.

my heart is saying give VBAC a go, so I'll be pushing for that, pardon the pun :)

disco:)

I would go see someone, I think it would be such a weight of your shoulders to even just talk to someone whose removed from it personally. I know partners have a scary experience but my thoughts have always been, its not you that has to do this physically for nine months and then be cut open and what not, sorry if that's a bit off but i just hate the thought of that.

i had bad morning sickness, not as bad as hg but i hardly eat and feel like i have a really bad hangover 24/7 this time until week 14 and with my first i think it was week 18. It left for a while but is back sometimes, i have bad days and have found that over doing it just makes everything ten times worse. But in some ways having a little person there just makes the day go past a lot quicker and its made me just get on with it, and she makes me smile. Is there any help you can get with your little one?

i think going with an ob is a great idea and also the doula, quite tempted to look into that myself. All i can say is i started making a list of all the things that were bothering me and i'm working through them one thing at a time. I know not all of them I can control but I can at least put some structure around coping with the what if's.

disco:)