Timing Issues! : (

Hey Ladies

I'm sure some of you can offer me some advice.

DH and I have been trying to conceive a child for nearly 2 and a half years. (currently waiting for a LAP appt) As you do, you start off really excited and get into BDing straight away, knowing when to BD and what kind increases your chances.

Lately DH hasn't really been interested in BD at the right itmes of the month, and we end up getting in an argument and we miss our oppurtunity for the month.

It seems like BD has become a chore for us! I kno most of you will say that we should try to spice it up but we have tried and i feel like i am always working to please DH and its stressing me out and making my life a little bit of a missery.

DH works shift work 3 days 3 night and then 3 off, but he rarely ever slows down when it comes to his days off or inbetween shift changes, he is always busy and often uses this as an excuse and says hes too tired and we hardly ever do anything together, TTC is starting to ruin my relationship with DH and i thought it would make us stronger.

I think that it is starting to hit him, how long it is taking us to get UTD. But lately when it comes to the right time, i don't even bother saying anything, or when i do he just replys that he is too tired.

Listening to some of the ladies on here makes me cry when they say how they aren't doing enough BD and there DH's or DP's are so happy they get more.

I love DH so much and really want to us to be happy and have a family of our own!

Sorry about the novel but, What can I do?

Yeah i think that is probley the best solution aye! Thanks heaps nutella!

Hey Emma, hugs love.

My DH was really busy at work for a couple of months last year so would get home late and was tired all the time so didn't feel like BDing. So we discussed it and decided just to BD around ovulation and give him time off the rest of the month. That worked for us, sure it probably felt like a chore more than anything but at least we got the deed done if you know what I mean? Not sure if that helps.

ETA: have just read LB's advice and realised that mine is the exact opposite of hers

Edited by Little_Red

i suppose you already use OPK's?? that cuts it down to only having sex twice a month
or if he is up for more frequent than that, it at least lets you both know that its for fun only, taking the pressure off.
shift work does make TTC just that extra bit difficult though

You're right LB.

Actually, just on the OPK thing I wouldn't 100% rely on them for timing. During the cycle I conceived I didn't get a positive OPK until the day I ov'd (according to my temps) so if I had waited till then I might have missed the boat!

Sorry to hear about your troubles! Ive had same problem with DF, so this cycle I'm just initiating things without telling him what cd it is. So far so good, although last night he asked which cd were on so I date say he knows what I'm doing. Hope your DH starts playing nicely again soon, good luck!

Thanks all! You all have heaps of advice to give! I knew i could count on you,and it good to kno i'm not the only onehaving issues with BDing!

And whats this glad wrap thing....could be interesting for a laugh!!

Emmap..I just remember watching a movie yonks ago where this lady was told to wrap herself in gladwrap and nothing else and greet her husband at the door lol....i am not quite sure how looking like a sandwich is supposed to be appealing hehe. But it has always stuck in my mind!

Yeah hmmm.... Sushi is nice! Not sure how smelling like raw fish would help things tho haha!
Maybe stick to some chocolate!

I know its kinda already been said, but taking the pressure off might really help.

I found the more I tried explaining the in's and outs of it, days, temperatures all that jazz, the more DF became uninterested. Congrats to all the ladys out there who have found men who are totally interested in what's going on, mine just wasnt.

He even admits now the thought of "Doing it" just for the sake of making a baby kinda put him off so it wasnt until I stopped talking about it and pretended it was all just for the fun of it that he relaxed and was more excited. More excited generally means more BDing!

Plus I think its easy to forget men have pretty fragile Ego's, they are taught their whole lives that if they have sex they could get a woman preggo, so when it doesnt happen it knocks their confidence a bit.

Goodluck and hope you get the BFP your hoping for soon. Took me 7 months but every bit longer just makes you love that precious little peanut even more when you get your BFP.