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Hopes
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Topic: Lying in bed awake... help needed Posted: 13 September 2010 at 6:09pm |
OK, this is a really silly question, but anyway...
How do you know when to put Bubs down for a sleep in the daytime? I ask because I really don’t know if I’m getting it right. He’ll have a feed of both sides and a nappy change, have a kick for a while on the floor then a bit of a cuddle and perhaps another feed, until he gets grizzly or his eyes start drooping, and I’ll pop him in bed. However, then he’ll often either just lie in bed gooing and gaaing for anywhere up to an hour or even more before he eventually goes to sleep, or cry for a tiny bit then do the same thing. He usually seems perfectly happy, although he’ll sometimes give the odd cry and I’ll go to pick him up and he’ll seem happy again by the time I get there.
Today, he’d been awake for a couple of hours and started grizzling and acting tired, so I popped him down, and he lay there awake making the odd squeak for an hour, fell asleep for half an hour, then woke up for a feed. Later in the day, he woke up after an hours sleep, had a feed and was falling asleep on my lap. I couldn’t keep him awake, so I popped him down, and after a minute or so he opened his eyes and did it again – lying there with his eyes open for an hour before he actually went to sleep.
Somehow it feels like I’m putting him to bed too early or something, but I’m not sure what else to do. I’ve tried getting him up again after half an hour of awakeness, but it generally doesn’t work very well, he usually just gets really grumpy.
I know it’s hardly a hassle or anything, but it stresses me out that I’m doing something wrong and boring the poor lad out of his brains. Don’t get me wrong, we have our crying jags and other more normal and unpleasant things he does, but I’m fairly comfortable with most of them because you hear about other babies doing them... I’ve never heard of a baby doing this, and it gets to me a bit...
Any words of advice?
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Jacobsmumma
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Location: Aussie in Auckland
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Posted: 13 September 2010 at 6:52pm |
Hi Hopes, congrats on the birth of your little boy .
When my boy was your Sons age I basically kept him up for approximately 1 hour (or less if he was showing his tired signs) and during that time I'd feed him, change his nappy, have floor time/cuddles then usually he'd be back in bed again for a few hours. We did folowed this 'routine' for ageeeees. I think from memory Plunket suggested this routine so we just followed it and it worked fine for my boy.
How long is your boy up for? Perhaps he's getting overtired from being up too long or is overstimulated? I found it pretty hard to read my Sons tired signs for ages which is why the 1hr up routine we followed worked so well. If he wasn't tired for some reason I'd just get him back up for a wee while.
HTH
xx
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Kalimirella
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Posted: 13 September 2010 at 7:06pm |
Hopes just put him down at his tired signs, babies that age are normally only up for an hour or so however there is wide variation. I know Kiara has not always been "asleep" in her cot, quite often she is wide awake for half an hour or more. I just work on the premise, if shes in her cot and quiet then she is asleep. That way at least you know they are resting.
Is there a mobile above his cot? maybe think about taking it down and see if that helps.
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Lightning McQueen
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Posted: 13 September 2010 at 7:23pm |
Hopes, Toby did this as well when he was a newborn and he still does it at 6 months.
Think of it as a positive - Toby often wakes when DH gets up at 6, but will often happily lie in his cot and talk to himself and rest until I go in to get him up at 7. I work on the same premise as Kalimirella - if he's in his cot and quiet, he's asleep.
Daycare have old me he often wakes up, has a play in his cot with his taggie blanket, and then goes back to sleep half an hour later.
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Shelt
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Posted: 13 September 2010 at 8:01pm |
Gabrielle used to lay awake in her bassinette for ages before going to sleep. I thought I was doing something wrong but she was fine, she just liked to lay there and look around rather than sleep. This was a bit of an issue when we were out coz she was the queen of power naps - she could be out for the whole day and only take a couple of 5 minute power naps the whole time! But at home she was fine. Someone said to me don't worry if she isn't crying, she will just go to sleep when she is ready and laying awake counts as sleep coz she is resting. Even now she is not really that keen on sleep during the day, she's been on one half an hour sleep a day since she was about 16 months old.
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Hopes
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Posted: 14 September 2010 at 11:26am |
Thanks - it's so good to know that other babies do this, and it's not just me getting it wrong!
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HoneybunsMa
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Posted: 14 September 2010 at 11:35am |
As a little girl I struggled to get DD to sleep at all, but now she will happily lie in her bed quietly when she's not ready to get up. We can walk in and out if she's not ready she doesn't say a thing.
DP has a habit of getting her up just because she's awake but she isn't resting enough because she gets grumpy. I wait till she shouts
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happymumma
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Posted: 14 September 2010 at 7:54pm |
I wondered about the length of time between sleeps too. When my two were this little I kept them up for somewhere between about an hour and an hour and a half and then put them back to bed regardless. Having said that, using the Plunket tired signs is a fantastic way to decide when they need to go back to bed. Even now at almost 9 months at the first sign I will put DD straight into bed. I find that if I wait too long after seeing one of her signs it can be too late.
And I'm also with those who say it's not a bad thing for them to lie in bed awake if they are happy. I leave both mine in bed until they tell me they want to get up. If they are awake and happy then I figure they are having a rest / getting some time out to themselves / learning that bed can be a positive place (so I avoid those bedtime tantrums later on down the track). Both have been known to wake for about half an hour and then just go back to sleep, even after chatting away to themselves.
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BugTeeny
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Posted: 15 September 2010 at 8:05am |
Mason's the same
I keep him up between 60 and 90 minutes (depending on how distracted i get with the 2.5 year old).
He'll feed on one side, have a nappy change and then maybe he'll take the second side. If not, I'll pop him on the floor under his play-gym for a bit.
Then I'll offer him the other side then pop him down.
Often he'll just lie there quite happily awake for a while - anywhere up to an hour and then sleep for 45 mins.
He has one big sleep during the day (usually 3-4 hours), but not before lying awake for a while
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flakesitchyfeet
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Posted: 15 September 2010 at 8:31am |
I've started doing this with Jack too.
He's up, fed, changed, fed, and then has a kick around on the mat or a sit in the bouncer etc. When he starts showing tired signs I might try a different activity to see if I can stretch him a bit longer, but generally by that stage he's happier just laying in bed. I started getting the guilt's for not 'just doing something' with him, so DH suggested putting his black and white picture book in between his bassinet and mattress, and he just stares at that till he falls asleep
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HuntersMama
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Posted: 15 September 2010 at 8:40am |
Sounds like you are doing an awesome job  I found it really hard at that age to get it right, and as a result poor DS would often get overtired. At 7.5 months, he is still only up for around 2 hours before he gets cranky.
I got told even if they are in bed and not asleep, they are resting which is better than being up getting overstimulated.
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Shezamumof3
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Posted: 15 September 2010 at 8:50am |
Sounds like you are doing the right thing to me. Thats what i laways did with my kids, feed, change, play, feed, bed, and if they lay there awake and happy thats all good, becuase to me they are resting, and they always eventually fell asleep and woke again when they were hungry
I am all for self settling, so if he is lying there like that and then going to sleep he is self settling, even if he grizzles and is then happy again, he's fine. He sounds just like my DS when he was a newborn :) :) and he is a FAB sleeper to this day ;)
If he gets really upset and isnt laying there happily, then Id get him up and comfort him etc
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Hopes
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Posted: 15 September 2010 at 9:38am |
Awesome. Thank you guys so much for your replies. I'm glad I posted the question, I didn't want to because I felt like a right idiot for not knowing, but it was getting to me and it's so nice to know that other babies do this too, and that I'm not doing something really wrong
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