Really embarrassing TMI...

OK, so I had a tear from my vjj to as far back as it can go. My stitches desolved over a week ago.
Since then it has become more painful to poo and now it really stings like birth and bleeds a lot.

So this morning I got brave enough to look with a mirror and there seems to be a little hole about half way along the perrenium.

But that's not the scariest part...
It kinda looks like my cervix/insides want to come out, like they're right in the 'doorway' (and the 'doorway' looks pretty big too)


Is it all supposed to look like this nearly 3 weeks later or have I had a prolapse (or whatever they're called when things want to come out...)

HELP!!! TELL ME IT'S NORMAL!!!

I had a prolapse...but didnt look..it just felt like everything was in the wrong place and falling out.  I mentioned to my MW who checked..internal lying down then one standing up.  The cervix was definately lower standing up.  I was devestated as I couldnt imagine it ever feeling right again.  Pelvic Floor exercises where the way to go and go easy.  I found it worse when I was walking around etc.  Hurting to poo makes sense as you have to relax your pelvic floor which then drops everything you have been trying to hold up.

 

It does get better!!!!  Do your exercises and take it easy.  It will take weeks though...I didnt feel comfortable for nearly 8 weeks......and I notice now I am pregnant that passing a hard poo hurts and feels like everything is dropping again....rest of the time I feel totally fine (as fine as preggy feels).

 

As for the hole...cant help you there...but either way talk to your MW...thats what they are for

generally its just an extreme weakness of your pelvic floor.  If it causes ongoing probs then you get surgery but they dont like to do that till you have finished having kids.  There are all sorts of other things to hold it all in place...the mind boggles but yep pelvic floor exercises is the first stop.  I got referred to a physio but by the time I got my appointment things were improving.  She did suggest starting little and doing them lying down on your back.  Also you will need to slowly start to find your abs again.....I still dont know where mine went.

 

I know I am really weak in that area now (too lazy at the time) and seem to leak urine a bit now I am pregnant.  Again I think this is more common than people let on.  I have vowed to work those muscles like crazy after this one is born.  I am scared that the same thing will happen again...it is not comfy.  I found I'd get really sore down there going for a walk around the block.  even sitting hurt some times so make the most of bubs sleep times and lay on the couch.

 

My MW told me that 6-8 weeks is a magical time...everything seems to come right.  I didnt believe her but it does!

When you were in Hospital did someone mention making an appointment to a specialist at the hospital? I had a tear and had to have stitches and I got sent an appointment for a specialist at the hospital just to double check everything was OK down there. I also remember getting a call from a hosptial physio a couple of weeks after I got home, just for a catch up. Not sure if this is the norm or not for hospitals (this was at North Shore Hospital), but I thought it was pretty good service.....

Also my MW had a quick look 'down there' just to make sure everything was healing nicely.

I also tore *that* way, although from the sounds of it, not as bad as you did I found I couldn't really do pelvic floor exercises for a few weeks, and even then the muscles were very weak. One piece of advice - go get some lactulose from the chemist if you haven't already! I was actually really scared every time I had to go that the stitches would rip! Lactulose was my friend for a good few weeks!

Mum2Ella, I wasn't told anything about seeing the specialist but the house surgon (sp?) actually did the delivery and stitching so I guess she would do a good job.
The mw checked me the next day (or the day after?) and said she will also check me at 6 weeks unless I ask her to check me sooner, which I DEFINATLY will. I think she will come out on Wednesday.
I got prune juice today and if that's not good enough I will get some lactulose. I had lactolose at the hospital and it was great.
Yay that the vjj bit is normal(ish), that was what was scaring me the most

I saw my mw today and she said exactly that, the stitch disolved before that part healed. She said it's ok though and it will heal by itself eventually.
So I just have to squirt it with water and tea tree oil, keep it clean and also dry it with a hair dryer after showering.

Just a little advice to add to the great advice already in here. I had a 3rd degree tear and a friend told me when I needed to poo to make a fist and blow into it as this uses the same muscles you use to poo and relaxes everything down there. Sometimes you can be sitting there blowing for a little while, but it's so much less painful doing it this way.

I was referred to the tear clinic and finally had an appointment 4 months after birth. They told me that after a tear you're supposed to be on lactulose for the first 6 months!!