Single Parents

Snap! lol. Thats exactly what happened to me. I was 8 weeks when my ex decided he didnt want a child and broke up with me. I felt really alone, and was extremely depressed. My doc put me on anti d's. Not a fun time! But i was NOT going to be pressured into an abortion.

My daughter is now 1 and her father still has not met her. I even talked to him today and he told me he wont be seeing her any time soon! His mum has her nearly every sat and is a big part of her life though, so thats cool.

 

Even though my family were and are amazing, its not the same as if her dad was around. BUT, stuff them! If they are stupid enough to miss out on their child then they are just dumb. They arent worth even worrying about. Although easier said than done right.

 

There are a couple single mums on here i think, and a few ex-single mums.

 

But if you ever need to talk im here. I can actually say i know what your goin through.

Do you know the sex or is it going ot be a surprise?

Edited by MelanieAndBree

Hey, im a former single mum .
My daughter's father broke up with me when I was 7 weeks pregnant, to say he wasn't pleased about my pregnancy is an understatement , he was begging me to have an abortion .
Then a week later he rang saying he was going to do his "duty " and support me as much as he could...I asked him if he wanted a medal ...
I was pretty angry , at first...but we made an agreement early on to be civil , and now we're pretty good friends , hes now married and expecting his third and his wife and her parents have always made sure Caitlyn is part of the family .
In hindsight, I can now see that he was just a scared 21 year old thinking his life was ruined...its a guy thing, they tend to be overdramatic (man flu anyone ?)
As tempting as it was to say "be involved? what with the baby you wanted me to terminate? piss off "I realised that would be punishing my child , not him .Which would be really sad, because Caitlyn loves her dad, and he adores her .
So what im saying is , if your ex does decide that he wants some kind of relationship with baby , when the freak out part is over , dont let pride get in the way , its no longer about him and you , but baby as well ...make sure you set some ground rules tho , if hes in ,hes in , that means he makes an effort to have contact, that he supports you in decisions and he is there when hes needed, not when it suits him,there are no second chances, one screw up , and hes out .
And if babies born (because remember, he cant bond with baby like you can while shes inutero ) and he still has the same attitude,then at the end of the day , its his loss .

As Kels said, accept support and help whenever you need it, because there will be times when you do , believe me !
I was single with Caitlyn for the first 4 years of her life , and while we had some tough times , i wouldn't trade it for the world, for so many years we were a team , and I think i'll always have a very strong bond with her because of that .
As daunting as it is...you will be fine

Single mums do rock!

hehe.

Hi everyone, thanks so much for the replys.

I didnt realise how common it was, even though my mum was a single mother.

Most people i know these days have the father in babys life one way or the other.

So was pretty down thinking i was so alone.

Yep, "his" first reaction was pretty much forcing me into an abortion, he played this big thing about how he felt like his heart was going to explode out of is chest and how this cant be happening and bla bla bla, i was really down about it and i hate to admit it but at one stage i had considered it, but my friends stood up and pretty much said not to let him control my life or my babys life like that and things will get better.

Im soo glad i put that thought to the back of my mind pretty fast.

I do still have my down days when i think about him though. I dont want to go on anti depressants though as my mum has had a bad reaction with them awhile ago, so somehow im trying to deal with everything another way.

One thing though is his mum has told me that she wans to be a part of babys life wether he does or not. So i think thats good.

Oh and MelanieAndBree, im having a little boy.

Cant wait, im sooo nervous and scared but all first time mums go through that im sure haha.

Thanks everyone for the support and replys .

caitlynsmygirl - Thanx, yep, guys seem more hormonal then us sometimes haha, i mean im the one that will be growing a little human in my tummy and raising him the best i can, yet i wouldnt change a thing about my decesion.

And congrats on the engagement !! That gives me hope that someday i might find a guy willing to take on me and my boy.

Thanx Kelly .

Yep i sure hope so.

And just to hear how well your doing makes me happy and i cant wait to find that guy.

I was a single mum too. The father of my daughter buggered off just after Mia turned 1. He was being a prick and wasn't seeing her, so I served him with a parenting order through the court. So if anyone want advice about that feel free to message me.

Ive been with my new partner for a couple of years now, and were expecting a baby in June.

I agree, having a child does a good job of filtering the good guys from the bad ones

Aithne wrote: Thanx Kelly . Yep i sure hope so. And just to hear how well your doing makes me happy and i cant wait to find that guy.

Yeah shes good like that she made me feel better about it all too! hehe