Finding out sex question
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=8683
Printed Date: 11 August 2025 at 12:01pm
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Topic: Finding out sex question
Posted By: emz
Subject: Finding out sex question
Date Posted: 01 July 2007 at 12:27pm
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Hi all,
DH has finally decided (after 1 1/2 months of giving him 'time' to think, hmm males  ) that he wants to know the sex of the baby too. BUT there's a catch.
For those of you who don't know, there's a 99.99% chance DH will be going to Timor for 6 months in November. He said that he wants to know what it is so he can connect with bubs and know something about it before everyone else does (fair enough), but that means we aren't telling anyone the sex! Not even our parents! Has anyone done this before? How on earth am I going to keep my big gob shut? 
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Replies:
Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 01 July 2007 at 12:36pm
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If you want to tell people, then tell people!
I would! It's an exciting time for you and if you want to share with your family then you should be able to. It makes it easier for them to pick out gifts too. 
Don't listen to you DH, men don't know anything, and you're the one that has to deal with it kicking you and giving you heartburn and making you pee all the time, you should have all the say! |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 01 July 2007 at 12:42pm
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ha ha ha ha... we did this when i had ayja. it was fun, but crazy all at the same time.
i wanted to find out so i could bond with baby cos i had to return to study so soon after i was due. we found out, BUT Mike told his mum, and i told my sister so we each had at 1 other person we trusted (ie we knew they wouldn't tell anyone)that we could talk to about things so as not to go completely crazy with keeping it to ourselves. The problem starts if your family KNOW that you know what baby is. so you can either say oh, we couldn't find out baby had it's legs crossed, or some other excuse. ours knew that we had found out, they tried to trip us up all the time, if we did slip up we were conscious of making sure next time we said something we'd say the opposite, and change it around so they really had no idea. the main thing for us was that we had to hide everything we got that wasn't neutral, we even went as far, as once i was close to due and ayja's drawers were full of clothes, we put all pink at the bottom and white/blue on the top, we then turned it round to face the wall so that no-one could open the drawers. .. mum was sooo dissapointed when she came to babysit once as she tried to snoop and got nowhere!! so yes, my advice is, either tell 1 other person each so you can not go as crazy with keeping secrets... or don't let anyone know that you have actually found out.. otherwise they will constantly be questioning you and it makes you crazy! when we have another we will find out for sure, but don't mind anymore who knows. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 01 July 2007 at 12:54pm
Even crazier but....you could let him find out and not know yourself. then you dont need to worry about telling anyone.
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 01 July 2007 at 1:16pm
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If you want to do Piper's way you can get them to write it down and put it in a sealed envelope. I haven't kept the secret myself but I do know someone who succeeded in finding out and still saying 'it' etc etc and I never could figure it out! -------------  |
Posted By: megrac
Date Posted: 01 July 2007 at 1:47pm
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funny i keep refuring to baby as a boy or a girl most of the time a boy though. and people pick me up on it all the time like "so it a boy then" or visa versa for a girl. but we really dont know but people just think we are keeping it a secret. i just dont like calling baby an it. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 01 July 2007 at 2:37pm
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were suposto be doing that.
but i had to tell ppl on here as i couldnt hold out, but so far only me and hubby know, we havnt told parents friends relitives or even our daughter. we just say we couldnt see on the scan :) but most ppl think its going to be a ............. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 01 July 2007 at 3:09pm
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I think I have to respect my DH's wishes seeing as he won't have any 'firsts' with bubs for 5 months, and everyone will know his baby better than he does. I think I'll just have to get very good at saying IT a lot! Although I hate that!
I couldn't handle DH knowing the sex and me not knowing, seeing as I was the one that pushed for knowing in the first place! I reckon that he'll crack though and tell his mum, if he does it's all on!
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 01 July 2007 at 3:12pm
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We keep referring to our baby as a him or her all the time and people think we are trying to tell them something. then when we moved into our new house the room we chose for bubs has a blue feature wall.....that got people going. We honestly have no idea. I have a strong feeling its a girl and everyone seems to agree with me so I am expecting a boy as a result
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 01 July 2007 at 4:39pm
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Hmm, maybe I could do that and keep people guessing?! Haha
I originally thought we were having a boy, but now I think its a girl. The chinese birth chart also says its a girl, and MIL went to a psychic who said it was a girl (although, you know everyone has a 50% chance at getting it right!) |
Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 01 July 2007 at 6:04pm
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We did this, found out but didn't tell anyone. We just made up a gender neutral nickname for the baby or called it 'baby' a lot. It was actually lots of fun, just practice your poker face so that even if you slip and people notice, you can pretend like you were throwing them off the scent. We got the whole nine months and no-one had a clue. It was great!
It was actually really lovely to have this little family secret between DH and I, it made us feel very close to each other and connected to the baby (we were already close, but you know what I mean). I think that is a lovely idea for your DH to know before everyone else. |