A dubious honour
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Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=5333
Printed Date: 15 August 2025 at 2:43am
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Topic: A dubious honour
Posted By: ginger
Subject: A dubious honour
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 8:26am
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Most of you know me, and have seen me around for a long time. Most of you also know that I work really hard to stay positive, and give as much support as I can to those around me, regardless of how I may be feeling.
I don't know that this post serves a purpose, and I guess it falls under 'rant', but for the first time something that someone has said on OB has really, really upset me. As in, I read their post, and my blood went cold. You know that feeling when it's almost as though your blood drains to your feet and you get cold pricklies on the back of your neck? I'll also confess to picking up my diary, which was sitting by the computer, and throwing it at the wall. Why? I have no idea. Perhaps it was because I've had a bad month, perhaps because I'm sure that, again, we've failed to conceive and I feel very beaten, perhaps I just need to go shopping 
I spent yesterday thinking about whehter I should say something to this person, and mentally composed a number of different PMs saying 'this is how I felt about what you said, this is why', but it serves no purpose, so I thought I'd just do this post instead. It's all for me and about me, and upsets no one. No harm, no foul. ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Replies:
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 8:43am
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Oh ginger, i am sorry you are feeling like that...and if i was you i would probably pm this person just to let them know how you are feeling...it is possible that they dont even realise that what they have said is upsetting.
big hugs to you and i hope that you have a better day today  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 8:48am
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I just got that exact same feeling when I read your post and thought "oh god I hope it wasn't me!". Hope you feel better after the rant and like Kazzle said, maybe PM the person if it might help further?
Hugs! ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 8:55am
| I think often what is written in forums has the "opportunity" to be misread - they probably wrote it meaning one way, but didn't realise it could be taken another. i would PM as they are probably unaware and would love the opportunity to apologise |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 9:21am
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I have a feeling I know which post it might be? Regardless, for you hun. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 9:33am
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Oh god, I am sorry if it was me. I guess when we post on public forums, we do often open ourselves up for comments and opinions that differ from our own. As a whole, we do try to be postive and supportive to all our "virtual friends" on here, but, as in "real life" we don't all always have the same ideas. I'm sure, if it wasn't me, that it was just an opinion, and not meant as a sleight at you in any way, and if it was me, I so don't mean to be offensive, but if I post something that isn't along the same ways of thinking as everyone else, it is because I feel strongly about that particular thing, but it dosen't mean I don't Like you or that I want to upset you, it's just a hey, well, here is my 2 cents, I can see your side, but this is mine..usully, i just post nothing, anf moan at my computer, but, like I said, if I feel strongly enough about it....
This post isn't meant to upset you either! Sorry if it has, I do rather like the taste of my feet, and I also beleive that its better out than in! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 10:15am
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That sucks Ginger.
I had the same thought - oh man I hope it wasn't me! Although I'm a newbie, so what I say doesn't have much standing, I think it would help if you PMed the person - just to explain. I know if it was something I said, I'd want to know.. because it wouldn't have been intentional and I'd hate to think I hurt someone. I'd want a chance to apologise and explain what I actually meant. Just my two cents. |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 10:38am
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awww ginger
i too hope it wasn't me! i agree with arohanui, if it was me, i'd like to know so i could apologise and explain if it was taken the wrong way. it can be hard to put your words down on forum in the way you meant them..... ie...does that last sentence make any sense?   ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 10:55am
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Ginger I reckon maybe a PM to the person wouldnt do any harm. Sounds like we are all thinking hope it wasnt me cos i know if it was then I certainly didnt mean to cos i cant think of anything I might have said.
And sorry to hear your upset |
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 10:57am
Thanks so much everyone, and I *do* feel better ...though a little embarrassed that I put the cat amongst the pidgeons 
And Arohanui? We're all here to support each other - newbies or not!  Don't ever feel like your input wouldn't be appreciated on any topic
You're all quite right too about opportunity being rife to misinterpret posts on OB, and it's something that I always think twice about if I see something that makes me raise my eyebrows - in this instance it was a comment that came from a lack of understanding, and was quite oblivious, and because of that, I just wanted to get a good ol' cyber hug from you lot! And it helped. It really did! Ta! ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 1:45pm
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Aw Ginger! We love ya!
It wasn't about the ladle was it? 
Hope you managed to sort things out and you get back on your positive horse again! We are all crossing fingers and toes and everything for ya to hope that it works out for your little family one way or another 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 1:53pm
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Ginger, many of us (probably all) have the hugest and utmost admiration and respect for how you have tried and kept on trying for sooooo long and how difficult that must be, and yet you're still on here keeping in touch and staying positive (and telling awesome stories about your brother and such )...
I think I speak for us all when I say that even though most of us have absolutely no idea how hard your journey has been so far, we really care for you and hope every month for your successful BFP. And whatever was said that has offended you, I'm sure you can take it as simply misguided and not intended to hurt you. We love ya! And come the day when we can all have drinkies on your behalf!-------------  |
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 3:14pm
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Ug busymum ...what an amazing thing for you to say! Thank you
Nikki - I think everyone knows better than to say anything dodgy about the ladle  ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: Lulu
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 3:20pm
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Ginger big hugs, it's a hard road babe. I sometimes had to bite my tongue with regards to comments people made when we were TTC. It's so hard for some people to understand the journey if they haven't experienced issues with TTC. As much as people are kind and thoughtful and try to give encouragement, sometimes it just doesn't sit right.
In saying all that... I hope it wasn't me!
Take care ------------- Lou http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 3:48pm
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Hugs Ginger! I'd be waaaaay too scared to offend you - you might hunt me down with that ladle!
Like Busymum said, we're all hanging out for the day when we can celebrate with you, and I really hope for you that its soon. I know the 12 months it took us to conceive seemed like the longest ever, and we already had one child, I can't even pretend to understand what a rollercoaster this journey is for you. Hugs again, and hang in there, we all believe in you! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 3:56pm
If it helps I'm buying a $60 can opener so how about we get some canned soup, I'll open it with my can opener and once it's heated you can dish it up with your ladle??  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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ginger wrote:Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 3:59pm
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Man I am soooo curious! What thread is the ladle joke in? ------------- |
Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 4:05pm
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Oh ginger, hugs to you. I really hope it wasn't anything I have said. I think you are incredible, the way you make everyone laugh with your funny stories and the openess you show to others - all that aside from everything you have to go through on your journey to get that wish.
Even though I don't know you that well, I regularly check in here to see if one of your posts is the one - I always have fingers and toes crossed for you and when you do get to post that BFP news Oh baby is going to go off with the biggest online party ever! -------------  
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 4:38pm
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I think the ladle thread would be in the OB archive dungeons by now LOL
And Paws - enjoy your can opener, they are SO worth it, but you already knew that *cough*tupperwareaddict*cough*------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: mellybelly
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 7:39pm
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Hey Ginger
Again like everyone above has said, I hope it wasn't me. Also i am with Busymum, I'm looking forward to the day that all of us can have a drink to celebrate some BIG news. It is always great to log on and see how positive you are about TTC, I know i'm not always that positive and you pick me up. Keep trying hun....
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 7:41pm
Oh my gosh ginger! i hope it wasnt me with my stupid lack of memory and understanding!!?? 
I certainly think its a good idea to PM this person as im sure alot of us are wondering if it was us
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 22 January 2007 at 8:11pm
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oh i relly hope its not me if it was i,m so sorry and as i no nothing about ttc i just try to surport you ladys going thur thisand as i dont always no what to say i sometimes get it wrong i do that in real life aswell
i check here all the time waiting for your bfp tread ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 23 January 2007 at 7:42am
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It's quite easy to write something without realising it could offend someone. I always try to re-read my post before I post it just in case but you never know. I'm sure whoever it was did not mean to hurt and offend you! Big hugs honey!
And I sure hope it wasn't me - sorry if it was ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 23 January 2007 at 9:42am
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Oooo ...the can opener rocks! Obviously, it is not as cool as the ladle but it still rocks!
The ladle story is a long one busymum ...what's it been? A *year*? Basically, I, the Ginger, inadvertently (sp?) bought a *really* expensive ladle - I think it was about $70?? and that was on sale for about 30%-50% off Woops. Obviously the husband never found out, and that particular visa bill went straight into the fire! I think half hte joke was how I managed to spend that much accidentally, and the rest was everyone else not letting me forget it!! Somehow, the whole thing just kept growing, and now the ladle has a personality all of its own! I think the rest of the joke was that the husband liked the ladle so much that he wanted me to go and get lots of other things and I ended up spending an absaolute fortune on blimmin kitchen utensils (seriously! Hundreds!) ... But, if I hadn't and told him why I didn't want to, he'd have beaten me to death with the ladle. So, I chose life, and I have a fab set of kitchen utensils ... ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 23 January 2007 at 9:58am
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See? What did I say about telling great stories?
Good to see you're having a good day today Ginger. ------------- |
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 23 January 2007 at 10:19am
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In relation my wee melt down yesterday I'm so sorry to have worried you all - I never imagined the response I'd get, or how concerned you'd all be for me. So, I'm really sorry first off for worrying you all, and please know that all of you I would feel comfortable to come to direct and say "Hey ...".
I think you're right too that any of you would want to know if you'd caused me any upset, and if it ever happened, which I really doubt, I promise you I'd come to you direct. As for the post in question - I'll deal with that privately from here on in. Have a fab day and enjoy the sunshine while it lasts!! Oh, and thank you - for your suggestions, support and encouragement! ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 23 January 2007 at 11:01am
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Aw hey Ginger that's okay... none of us are strangers to 'down' days.
And you must live far, far away from me cause there's no sunshine here!! ------------- |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 23 January 2007 at 11:01am
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Geepers Ginger! I don't think I'd ever seen the actual figures before! I just knew the ladle was "expensive" but $70!! On sale!!!
Makes the story that much better
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 23 January 2007 at 11:04am
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hehe that's the second post I've done this morning at exactly the same time as someone else's!
Now that's sad that I noticed... must be time for housework ------------- |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 23 January 2007 at 11:36am
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lol, Ginger, so only one visa bill in the fire??? Man, I think ALL of mine go in there! Mind you, I don't buy ladles.... ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |