what do you say??
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Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4827
Printed Date: 16 August 2025 at 12:45am
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Topic: what do you say??
Posted By: lizzle
Subject: what do you say??
Date Posted: 11 December 2006 at 10:18am
| My friends have just gone through their first cycle of IVF, and unfortunately it didn't work. They are trying again next year, and can try once more after that, and thats that! What I'm really aftre is some advice about what to say? or what not to say really? especially as I have two kids, I don't want to come acorss all sanctimonious or anything. |
Replies:
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 11 December 2006 at 10:44am
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i dont think that is really a lot you can say apart from letting them know that while you may not understand what they are going through that you are always there for them. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Lulu
Date Posted: 11 December 2006 at 9:14pm
I have tried to think what I would want people to do or say if I have a negative outcome tomorrow with my test. I think that you can only say that you are sorry and that you are there to talk to if they need to. I guess just don't say things like 'the timing wasn't right' or 'maybe next time'. I know that I feel like I have been carrying a 'baby' of sorts for the last two weeks, as I saw the embryo under the microscope before it was put back inside of me, so if I have a negative result tomorrow, I will feel a real sense of loss. If you keep that in mind then I'm sure you will do the best you can to be supportive of your friends.  ------------- Lou http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 12 December 2006 at 9:35am
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Yeah- I think stay clear of the -it wasn't meant to be, timing wasn't right, it will happen when it happens, type comments and just express your sorrow and support and you should be ok. Maybe only talk about it as much as they want to- let them lead the conversation. ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 17 December 2006 at 2:47pm
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I agree - let them lead where they want to talk about it...and offer support and sympathy etc when you can...
I have a friend who has had 10 mc's and given up now and we started discussing fostering and now she is so excited about that - so maybe if nothing works out be prepared to discuss other options with them too? |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 17 December 2006 at 4:34pm
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Wow 10 m/c's!! Poor woman!
Some people are fine doing fostering/adopting but others would rather stay childless if they can't have their own flesh and blood. For me I would have chosen to adopt but my sister (who hasn't conceived after 1-2yrs) has chosen just to let things be. -------------  |