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Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=44313
Printed Date: 23 August 2025 at 9:01am
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Topic: subject
Posted By: Wellybaby86
Subject: subject
Date Posted: 23 September 2014 at 10:53am
Replies:
Posted By: Tulip2
Date Posted: 23 September 2014 at 2:35pm
Hi Wellybaby86, sorry you're going through this. You're not alone and yes it's always deemed that the female has the low drive but that's not always the case.
The most important thing is for you to not loose any self esteem over his lack of affection. Perhaps you could ask if this has happened between him and previous long term girlfriends.. if yes then that might make you feel a bit better.
It must be worrying you more lately because you've started TTC. When you're BD" for bubs perhaps get your timing to within 3-4 days using Ovulation Predictor Kits and then have a clinical conversation with him about which days and how often his swimmers are needed. Not very romantic but at least he'll know.
Once a week isn't sooo bad but he should be more understanding of your needs and willing to compromise. I hope there's lots of hugs and kisses from him to make up for what you're missing out on.
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Posted By: avidkeo
Date Posted: 23 September 2014 at 3:42pm
WellyBaby86 I hear you. Neither my DH or I have a particularly high sex drive, and mine is higher than my DH. You are lucky to be doing it once a week, we averaged about once a fortnight!
With TTC, watch the great sperm race together. DH didn't quite understand the need for timed sex when it came to conceiving, but after watching that he really gets it. We were lucky and concieved DD on our 3rd month trying even though we weren't DTD very often.
Try not to let it worry you, if you are lucky it wont matter, but make sure you don't pressure DH because it will just make things worse.
Also, you may want to consider counseling. If your drive is so significantly different from DH that you have fantasies about an affair, you need to sort that out.
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DD born 22 April 2014. No 2: BFP 10 September due 23 May 2016 http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/43a49d" rel="nofollow - My Ovulation Chart
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Posted By: Jadeey
Date Posted: 23 September 2014 at 5:13pm
Yes, my DH too has a low sex drive. Thankfully so do I which means it isn't a problem for us day-to-day, but did make it difficult when TTC.
When we decided it was time to TTC I just talked to DH about it and explained that the best way to get pregnant was to have sex every second day close to ovulation. DH has been really good about it.
I agree with considering counseling. It isn't healthy for your marriage to be having fantasies about an affair. A vastly different sex drive between partners can be a major issue for couples and a compromise needs to be found so that you are both happy.
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