OHbaby! Coffee Catchup - 26th May 2014. Feel fre
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Topic: OHbaby! Coffee Catchup - 26th May 2014. Feel fre
Posted By: skiltz
Subject: OHbaby! Coffee Catchup - 26th May 2014. Feel fre
Date Posted: 26 May 2014 at 2:56pm
OHbaby! Coffee Catchup - May 26th 2014. Feel free to ask questions and Dorothy will reply when she can.
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Replies:
Posted By: chaz_ttmn
Date Posted: 26 May 2014 at 7:40pm
Great seminar today - Thank you Dorothy.
Can I please get your notes on SOLIDS - as suggested by you.
Background: My son, 12 weeks old (Weighed 7.2kg at 8weeks/10lb 14oz at birth). Wakes 1-2 times overnight and does feed. (Exclusively breastfed)
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Posted By: chaz_ttmn
Date Posted: 26 May 2014 at 8:29pm
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Will we have access to this forum after Dorothy has replied?
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Posted By: Guest_44230
Date Posted: 26 May 2014 at 8:35pm
Hi Dorothy,
Thank you so much for all of your wise words today! Very helpful!
Like Charlene, I am after your notes on solids please(Spencer is 14 weeks today, weighs just under 9kg/8.8lb at birth, wakes upwards of 2 times a night (longest stretch been feeds/sleep has been 6 hours but is more commonly 3-4 hours), he is exclusively breastfeed). :)
Also wondering if you could please recap about the day to night routine, I remember it as wake - feed - play - feed - sleep (with the awake time stretching out slowly to reach 3hours by 6 months to make two sleeps (am and pm)) - is this on the right track? Do you have notes available on this also? Particularly struggling with Spencer becoming over tired at that night time period as it has been so long since his mid-day sleep but not wanting him to go down for the night at 4pm :)
Anything is helpful! Thank you again!
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Posted By: chaz_ttmn
Date Posted: 26 May 2014 at 10:42pm
HI Dorothy,
Can you please recap on your day nap discussion and night feeds/sleep....
My son Marcus (12 weeks old) (NOTE: weighed 7.2kg at 8 weeks)
TYPICAL ROUTINE:
Wakes around 7:45am...will have a "band aid" nap during school drop off at 8:45am.
Get home approximately 9:15...will feed and put him to bed (awake) by 9:30am.
He will "cat nap" until 10:15am (this first nap is always 45min) I offer breast after all sleeps,
PLAY from 10:30 - 12pm feed, in bed by 12:15pm. He will sleep anywhere between 1.5 - 3hours at this stage. waking by 3:15pm -
PLAY before picking up sister between 4-4:30pm (he will have a "band aid" nap again during this pick up.
BATH
DADDY/SISTER TIME
FEED
BED 6:30/7pm
So Marcus has two band aid naps (15-30min total) and two SLEEPs (1x45min, 1x 1.5-3hr) during the day. Is this sufficient for his age? He is starting to stay awake longer in the drop off/pick up trips.
In the last two weeks his night routine has usually been 3-6-3 (sleeps for 3hours/FEED/sleeps for 5-6hours/FEED/sleeps for 3 hours).
What would you advise if he wakes before midnight? How do I drop that first FEED?
Hope that makes sense!
Thanks in advance
Charlene
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Posted By: chaz_ttmn
Date Posted: 27 May 2014 at 8:15pm
HI again Dorothy,
Thank you for helping my friend Tami. Very much appreciated.
Are you able to post your notes about Teething here for me and the other mums that were inquiring at yesterdays seminar.
Many thanks
Charlene
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Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 30 May 2014 at 9:21pm
Hi CharMo
Please find attached my notes for introducing solids and vegetables.
Dorothy uploads/45521/Introducing_Solids_-whangarei.pdf" rel="nofollow - Introducing_Solids_-whangarei.pdf uploads/45521/Dorothys_Vegetables_-_whangarei.pdf" rel="nofollow - Dorothys_Vegetables_-_whangarei.pdf
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Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 30 May 2014 at 9:24pm
Hi Charlene
Please find attached teething chart uploads/45521/teething_chart_-_Whangarei.pdf" rel="nofollow - teething_chart_-_Whangarei.pdf
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Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 30 May 2014 at 9:31pm
Hi
A routine guideline for a baby aged 14 weeks is that their wake times will be around 1 3/4 to 2 hours and stretching to 3 hours by the time he is six months old. To do the stretching I tend to do it in 15 minute intervals and hold for ten days. At the end of the ten days I stop, think and act. The act may be to hold him there for another 10 days or to do another stretch.
During their wake times your baby will wake, feed, play, feed and then nap. By feeding before a nap you will not create a feed/sleep association. To avoid creating this you would feed, then swaddle or sleeping bag and then into the cot. ALso avoid him falling asleep at the breast. IF he does this then you would move the feed so that you are feeding 30 minutes before he is due to go for a nap.
With regard to the longer period in the evening, I would suggest doing a band aid nap (power nap/nana nap). Work backwards from the time you want him to go to bed for the evening and work out when to do this.
SO for example you want him in bed by 7.00pm and his wake times are currently 2 hours. Therefore the band aid nap will be around 4.30pm to 5.00pm or 4.45pm to 5pm. This will give him the ability to not be overtired for the evening routine.
The gastric emptying of a breastfed baby after 120 minutes is 16 to 18% left in their tummies, so by offering food before he goes down for a nap will ensure he is going down on a full tummy.
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Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 30 May 2014 at 9:45pm
Hi Charlene
Okay I have adjusted your routine slightly for you to look at. As you have other children you will not get that nice routine of 3 naps a day minimum 1 1/2 hours.
7.45am wakes feeds
cat naps on school run (lets work out that he wakes at 9.15am)
9.15am Start his wake time from when he wakes from the band aid nap and do a wake time of 1 1/2 hours
Feed, play, feed,
10.45am Nap - try and resettle - wakes 12.15pm
12.15pm Feed, play, feed
1.45pm Nap - wakes 2.15pm
2.15pm feed, play, feed
3.45pm will band aid here as it is also pick up time
back home feed, bath, feed, etc
Bed for the night (this is 1 1/2 hours after he wakes from the band aid nap)
Night waking, resettle, resettle, ensure you are feeding for hunger and not comfort
If you resettle this is how he will not drop but the feeds will push out further until the drop off at the other end of the night (i.e., morning)
Please PM me if I haven't answered what you were looking for
Dorothy
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Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 30 May 2014 at 9:49pm
Hi this is a summary of the workshop
TOPICS COVERED:
• The First Twelve Weeks
• Feeding
• Self-Settling and Resettling
• Baby-Care
• Bathing
• Dressing Baby
• Nursery Set-up
Some of my Favourite Expressions:
Dump and run
Don't hover like a helicopter
Fussiness causes irritability
Don’t start anything in arms that you cannot finish in the cot
Some Useful Points to Remember:
• Firstly, it is always important to bear in mind that there is no right or wrong way of caring for a baby, however there are certainly harder and easier ways of doing this.
• In looking after and caring for babies it does take TACT - time, acceptance, consistency and tact.
• Babies need two nutrients – FOOD and SLEEP. We are all aware how important food is for their survival; however sleep is also another vital nutrient. Food and sleep go hand in hand – without food babies won’t sleep well and without sleep they won’t eat well.
When implementing new changes for babies I always work using a ten-day time frame unless otherwise stated
Remember the first three to four days will always be the hardest, however by day ten you are looking for a small light at the end of the tunnel. If on day ten you cannot see the dim light at the end of the tunnel then you need to relook at what you are doing and tweak it slightly.
It is not a negative sleep cue to hold a baby or feed a baby before going, to bed, however there are ways of doing this so they don't become an issue.
When you hold a baby to encourage them to sleep, your body actually becomes a replacement for their cot. So you need to bear in mind that whatever movement you do in your arms, you must also be able to do the same action in the cot.
Remember to keep these movements small and manageable, as large movements of any form are the hardest habit to break if used in settling or resettling a baby. I’m not saying you shouldn’t use your movement at all to calm your baby, as I certainly do, however I ensure the movement I use can be done either in my arms or in baby’s cot.
Life isn’t predictable so you can’t plan for 100% consistency in everything you do. As long as you are aiming for 80% consistency that’s perfectly okay
• What is important is that you must work within your limits and not those of others. This is your time to learn to parent and, as with learning anything new, you will make mistakes. We learn most effectively by making mistakes – so don’t be too hard on yourself. Try not to parent by what other people tell you to do as a parent, as the reality is most people truly can’t remember clearly back to their own experiences - many tend to think they all had perfect babies!
THE FIRST TWELVE WEEKS (4TH TRIMESTER/ATTACHMENT PARENTING)
The term fourth trimester refers to the first 12 weeks of a baby’s life beyond the womb.
Remember you cannot spoil a baby under 12 weeks old - a baby under 12 weeks old is not able to manipulate you. In fact you can’t spoil a baby in general. As crying is a survival instinct that babies have, it is important you respond to your Your baby when she cries.
Once you have birthed your baby the big question from most parents is how to get my baby into a routine or when do I start a routine. The answer is simple. Babies are automatically in a routine, as when the baby cries, you respond. So let’s look at a typical routine for under 12 weeks:
Baby wakes
Baby feeds
Baby is changed and burped
Baby may feed again
Baby sleeps
This is your routine how often you feed and how often your baby naps is important as well. It is the sleeping rhythm (Cycle) that dictates how often your baby will feed:
E.g. Baby is up 45 minutes, sleeps for 1 ¼ therefore your baby will feed every 2 hours, but if your baby is up 45 minutes and sleeps for 1 ½ then your baby will feed every 2 ¼ hours.
When working with mothers and partners, I suggest that the fourth trimester encompasses birth to 11 weeks. The 12th week is when you sit back, review your experiences as a new parent and decide how you want to parent moving forward and then to set it in place.
From week 12 onwards, I encourage all parents to start following a routine that is flexible but still has a backbone. Life calls for flexibility and, if you are able to demonstrate this in how you live, your baby will more likely be able to adjust to any sudden changes that can sometimes occur.
To reiterate an important point made earlier - when making a decision, it is vital that you work within your limits and not those of others. This is your opportunity to parent the way that works best for you and your baby.
If anyone makes suggestions to you about how to manage a baby, but these suggestions don’t involve the element of nurturing, then have a good look at that person to decide if that really is the type of behaviour you want to copy.
FEEDING
BREASTFEEDING
It takes a minimum of six weeks to establish breastfeeding – it doesn't happen overnight for everyone.
There is no one correct way to feed a baby as each baby and mother is different. Given a little time, you will learn what works best for you both. Again it takes TACT and also support from your “village” around you.
What does apply to all babies though is that if they are not sucking then they are not feeding. It is not the length of time that the baby is on the breast that determines whether they are feeding well, but whether the baby is actually suckling as they may actually just be lying there peacefully or even asleep on the breast.
If this is happening to you or your baby is not putting on weight you need to look at what is happening when you are feeding your baby.
BREAST FEEDING – LATCHING ON
Deep Latch On Technique
A Deep Latch On technique enables Your baby to empty your breast more efficiently. It helps with milk production and avoids nipple damage that can occur due to incorrect positioning. It also helps reduce Baby’s intake of air which would otherwise cause more wind and tummy upsets.
Madonna hold
To achieve a deep latch on, hold the same breast with your hand i.e. left breast, left hand. Imagine your breast as the face of a clock, now position your finger and thumb at 9 and 3 (basically holding the breast in a “U” shape) making sure that the first finger is well under the breast and not interfering with the lower jaw of the baby latching onto the breast.
Rugby (Football) hold
A rugby hold is where you tuck Your baby under your arm with her legs facing backwards with her head resting in the same hand as the arm she is tucked under. In this position, the breast is held in the opposite hand to the breast in a “C” shape where the finger and thumb are at 12 and 6.
COMPRESSES
Compresses can be either hot for encouraging milk flow or cold for slowing down milk flow.
How to Make Cold Compresses
Dampen a disposable nappy and place it in the freezer. Once frozen, allow it to thaw a little and wrap it around the breast. It will mould to the breast as it continues to thaw.
How to Make Hot Compresses
Wet a cloth and place it in the microwave for a few seconds until very warm. Test before placing on your breast. Mould the cloth around the breast.
Cabbage Leaves
Cabbage leaves are thought to contain an enzyme that helps reduce swelling in cases of engorged breasts. They can also be used to help reduce heat and draw out the infection in very early cases of mastitis that ideally are detected in the first 24 hours. Place a cabbage leaf between your bra and skin and leave on for 20 minutes.
Nipple Shields
It is better to breastfeed with nipple shields rather than to not breastfeed at all.
Nipple shields can be invaluable for:
Mothers with sore, cracked, bleeding nipples;
Mothers whose nipples are inverted or prove too small for a baby to easily latch on to;
And tongue-tied babies having difficulty latching on.
Not only do the shields protect the nipples and allow them to heal, they often provide a needed boost for a mother whose confidence is floundering, enabling them to persevere with breastfeeding instead of giving up due to the pain.
Pumping
Your baby is your pump, therefore the more your baby is put to the breast the better. Your body has the ability to be wonderfully adaptable so, by putting your baby on the breast more frequently, this helps encourage your milk production to supply the amount of milk your baby needs.
Topping Up
If you have been recommended to top-up after feeding, then I suggest when you are ready to take away the top-ups in the morning and replace them with a breast feed rather than a bottle.
In the afternoons then if you do need to top up and you feel you can’t manage without bottle top ups, then do so.
So if topping up the baby’s awake time will look like this:
Wakes
Feeds, burp change, finish feeding
Cuddle play on floor
Top up with breast - replace this with bottles in the afternoon or evening if need be
Baby up for 45 minutes to 1 hour then swaddle and into bed
SUGGESTIONS FOR BOOSTING YOUR MILK SUPPLY
• Pea Protein shakes – drinking half an hour before a feed will help boost your milk supply
• Protein snack – 30 minutes before a feed will help boost your milk supply
• Probiotics – aids Your baby’s digestive system
• Omega 3’s – helps with ensuring the fatty milk is good
• Mother’s tea – improves your milk supply
• Fenugreek – again boosts your milk supply
• Eating sensibly – lots of good carbohydrate and protein with meals
• Water - A large percentage of breast milk is made up of water. I suggest you drink whatever you normally do (i.e. before Your baby was born) and then every feed time take a glass and pour 120mls of water into it and drink it and think of it as Your baby’s feed
• Vitamins – Natal vitamins, Vitamin D are all important for both your wellbeing and your baby
PEA PROTEIN
Pea protein provides 100% pure protein and derived from a natural source. The most common source of this form of protein is yellow pea (Pisum sativum).
Characteristics of Pea Protein
• It is highly-digestible
• Provides all the essential amino acids needed (for your daily recommended intake?)
• Is a light powder with mild sweet to savoury taste
• Is largely hypoallergenic
Effects of Pea Protein
• Assists in delaying gastric emptying (bowel movements?), and leaves you feeling full for longer
• Suppresses the peptide which stimulates your appetite
Who Can Use Pea Protein Powder?
• Suitable for people, of all ages including Vegans and Vegetarians
How do you include pea protein in your diet?
Protein powders are commercially available in two formats, isolates and concentrates.
Whilst protein isolates are the more expensive option, they do offer a highly purified, more easily digested protein with less negative intestinal effects (such as bloating and flatulence).
Protein concentrates are still a good source of protein, however, the amino acid content is generally lower. They are less expensive, but you will need to consume more to benefit from the same level of amino acids present in isolates.
THE BENEFITS OF PROBIOTICS IN PREGNANCY AND DURING BREAST FEEDING
What are Probiotics?
Probiotics are a good group of bacteria that occur naturally in our bodies.
What do they do?
Probiotics help our body to maintain a healthy digestive system; a good bowel, liver and immune function as well as assisting our body in producing essential group B vitamins.
Why should you take them during your pregnancy?
Digestive problems are common during pregnancy and clinical studies have shown that supplementing the body’s production of Probiotics is beneficial in treating common health complaints suffered during pregnancy such as heartburn, constipation, cramping and diarrhoea.
In addition, Probiotics are believed to help strengthen the immune system of the developing foetus.
Should you continue taking Probiotics after your baby is born?
A woman’s breast milk is highly beneficial, especially the ‘pre-milk’ or colostrum, to her baby’s developing immune system. Probiotic supplements, in particular those that contain Lactobacillus bacteria strains, have the same immunogenic results and boost this positive characteristic of breast milk. Babies breast-fed by mothers taking a probiotic supplement are more likely to have better digestive health with fewer incidences of upset tummies, irregular bowel motions, reflux and colic. In the longer term (studies have shown?), these babies are also less likely to go on to develop skin and/or food allergies.
Bottle fed Babies
Many infants exhibit intolerance to dairy products and can also react to their mother’s breast milk. Supplementation with an infant probiotic formula may help them to better tolerate the proteins and sugars contained within the breast milk. Probiotics may also help to reduce the incidence of gastrointestinal upsets in these infants, including infantile reflux, colic and irregular bowel elimination. You can also add probiotics into their formula.
SLEEP/FEED ASSOCIATION
In my opinion, feeding Your baby a top up 15 minutes or more before having a nap or going to bed for the night will not cause a feed/sleep association. This will ensure Your baby is going to bed on a full tummy.
The gastric emptying of a breastfed baby after 2 hours is 16% to 18%.
Once you have fed Your baby then place her in her swaddle or sleeping bag – this will rouse/wake her if she is falling asleep or drowsy. If Your baby does fall asleep on the breast then bring the top up forward by 5 minutes until you find the right time slot.
There is no rulebook to say how often you can or should feed a baby during their wake time. The important consideration here is to rest Your baby’s tummy and allow her digestive system to empty during her nap times.
When feeding your baby a top up, if you want to avoid the feed/sleep issue, then it is important the baby is awake feeding and not sleeping/comatose while doing so.
DREAM FEEDS
In my experience dream feeds are controversial and need to be carefully considered before incorporating them into your baby’s feeding schedule.
They differ from night feeds in that they are parent-led – i.e. the choice of the parent and not the baby.
Dream feeds are given between the hours of 10pm and midnight and involve feeding a sleeping baby as opposed to one that wakes naturally. They are supposed to lengthen a baby’s sleep cycle to give a tired parent a reprieve. However, there is no evidence to indicate that dream feeds guarantee an extended sleep for parents.
Research actually shows that dream feeds are thought to interfere with a baby’s most precious and deepest phase of sleep which is thought to occur between 9pm and midnight. Neuroscientists believe that deliberately feeding a sleeping baby meddles with digestion, growth and development and can disrupt long-term sleeping patterns.
Make sure you are well informed before making your own decision, as once in place dream feeds can be difficult and disruptive to eliminate from your baby’s routine. If you do decide to include them, ideally aim to drop them by the age of six months.
BURPING YOUR BABY
Burping is a technique that requires assertive pressure and focus. Some babies are more difficult to burp than others and you may need to choose a combination of burping techniques to release stubborn wind.
Throughout, make sure Your baby’s back remains as straight as possible to help open out her digestive tract.
Over the knees tummy down
Place Your baby over your knees, with her tummy facing down and her left side farthest from you. Reach across and, curving your hand slightly, slip it underneath the tummy area then begin rhythmically patting her up and around her tummy area. Mothers are often surprised to hear a sloshing noise that disappears once the gas is released.
With your hand spanned across her back with your fingers on one side and thumb on the other, gently apply pressure with your fingertips and thumb, and rub up and down both sides of her back using equal pressure on both the upward and downward strokes.
Place your palm just below the ribcage on her back, at the level of the waistband on her nappies, and in one fluid movement massage downwards over her nappy or bottom. This is a three stage movement - start on her left bottom cheek and massage downwards, then repeat this action around the middle of her bottom, and then move to the right side of her bottom.
Over the knee facing upwards
In this position it is easy to massage Your baby’s tummy.
Using firm pressure, massage her tummy clockwise.
With your outstretched hand spanning the entire width of her abdomen, and your thumb and fingers on opposite sides, gently squeeze together your thumb and fingers in a kneading motion and repeat several times.
Then turn baby over and put in sitting position so that you can check their tongue. There are two ways you can do this.
Tongue Position
Her tongue needs to be at the base of the mouth to effectively bring up wind. Press down on her lower jaw to open it and her tongue should flop down. If this doesn’t work, then try gently ‘popping’ her cheeks and hopefully her tongue will flop down.
On the Shoulder
Place Your baby on your shoulder, facing towards you so that her chin rests on the crest of your shoulder. Using both hands, slip your thumbs under Your baby’s hips and tilt upwards in a backward rotation to help straighten out her body. This may mean you lift her slightly away from your body to achieve this.
Do not pull her legs to straighten them as this can dislocate the hips. Once positioned, using the same arm as the shoulder you’re using, cross your forearm firmly under her buttocks to support her.
With your hand in a cupping position, and your hand spanned across her back with your fingers on one side and thumb on the other, gently apply pressure with your fingertips and thumb, and rub up and down both sides of her back using equal pressure on both the upward and downward strokes.
Using your palm massage the entire back with circular, clockwise motions and firmly cup/pat her back a few times.
Your hand should be large enough - and Your baby small enough - that your fingers and thumbs can reach the sides of her body. Massaging these areas will access both the ascending and descending bowels and encourage intestinal gas release.
With practice, a combination of these techniques will take no longer than five minutes to release the gas from her tummy.
On the Change Table
Hold Your baby’s legs below the knees and gently push her legs up so the knees are placed onto her tummy. Release slightly still bent, then place them to the right side of the tummy release slight, and then back to the centre of their tummy, and then repeat movement on the left side. This movement will also help release any bowel gas.
Nappy Change
The act of changing a baby’s nappy actually often alleviates wind as the leg movement during changing, followed by popping Your baby back over your shoulder, can be effective in bringing the bubbles to the top.
SELF SETTLING AND RESETTLING
Sleeping is a learned behaviour. We need to guide a baby and teach it how to sleep.
Much of Your baby’s first 3 months is spent establishing feeding and sleeping rhythms. Her digestive system is still maturing and her sleep patterns are still evolving.
Teaching good sleep habits requires TIME, ACCEPTANCE, CONSISTENCY and TRANQUILITY (TACT).
How Your baby’s sleep patterns evolve in the first 12 weeks will much depend on you and your household. Keep in mind that daytime rhythms will affect the night rhythms.
This routine is repeated throughout the day and night. With time, the amount of assistance with settling should decrease and eventually Your baby will learn how to self-settle. Once Your baby learns how to settle and resettle, she will eventually be able to sleep anywhere.
SETTLING IN ARMS OR COT SETTLING?
In the first 12 weeks, whichever you choose, it is important that when Your baby cries you respond immediately. At this young age, do not let her cry herself to sleep alone. It is not healthy for a young baby.
It is likely that you will spend many hours holding Your baby. But once she learns how to settle and resettle herself, she will eventually be able to sleep anywhere.
Many mothers find settling in arms easier than cot settling and enjoy the contact and intimacy. I tend to refer to this as ‘attachment parenting’ or ‘4th trimester’. For some households cot settling is more practical.
Whether you choose to settle Your baby in your arms or in the cot, you should ensure she begins her sleep cycle placing her in her cot while she is still awake. This gives her the opportunity to familiarize herself with what will soon become her primary sleeping place.
Mixing It Up
Some mothers find it easier to practice cot sleeping in the mornings when they have more energy and opt for settling their babies in their arms in the afternoon.
Resettling and Feeding
Many mothers opt for feeding as a way to resettle their baby. This is an example of what appears to be the easy way initially becoming the more difficult option later on, as the result is a sleep-deprived baby who is more problematic to settle. More often than not the baby is not hungry but is instead seeking comfort through sucking. She is feeding for comfort, not hunger. So instead of feeding, try offering a dummy or finger
SLEEP PROPS
These include white noise, music, movement, night-lights and dummies.
In my experience, props will tend to interfere with Your baby’s ability to self-settle.
The more props that you introduce into Your baby’s routine the more complicated you are making your life as Your baby grows.
It is very difficult to sleep train an older baby that uses props for going to sleep. My advice is not to introduce them and if you do then allow your baby the right as an individual the ability find their sleep and then only then if they don't settle and need your help then bring in the props. The more props that you introduce into Your baby’s routine the more complicated you are making your life as Your baby grows.
The best way to get a fast-forward idea of how restricted life may become is to imagine that you are travelling with Your baby. Visualise that you are in the middle of a plane, train or bus and it is Your baby’s nap or sleep time, and that you need to provide her with all her props to help her sleep. Whilst you may be able to provide some of the props others are not so easy – you cannot replace a baby’s white noise with a substitute, as they will be looking for their ‘white’ noise they have become accustomed to hearing in their home environment.
Dummies
Dummies are a useful tool to help settle Your baby if she needs help to find her sleep. However, if you ‘plug’ Your baby as soon as she goes to bed then, I believe that you are taking away her chance and ability to try and settle by herself.
Giving a dummy to Your baby straight away can in fact cause more crying than if you let her grizzle first before allowing, if needed, her to have it.
Dummies are designed to comfort newborn babies. Around six months most babies no longer need to ‘suck’ to gain comfort and so the use of a dummy should diminish.
Movement
It is easier to stay stationery and do small movements and use your body as a bed. Dads make awesome beds – great time for Dads to bond with their babies. I try and avoid doing any form of movement in arms that I cannot replicate in a cot.
Music
With regard to using music I would play it for Your baby before going into her cot as a signal to her that it is sleep time. I would not suggest using it while she is in her cot trying to self-settle.
Night-lights
Dark is for sleeping and light is for playing. In my experience, I have found that night-lights at this age are more likely to contribute to a baby waking through the night.
White Noise – no need to purchase as, for babies under 12 weeks, their ‘white noise’ comes from their parent.
SLEEP TOOLS
• The ‘Engulf’ Hold
• Cupping and Patting
• Shushing
The ‘Engulf’ Hold
As its name suggests, this hold provides as much body contact as possible, giving Your baby the sense of being completely contained, as if she was still in the womb.
It positions Your baby in such a way that you can initiate other settling techniques simultaneously. In addition, it provides warmth, intimacy and the meditative beat of your heart.
Most mothers/fathers prefer using their dominant arm to support their baby’s body from underneath. Choose whichever side feels most natural and comfortable to you.
Hold Your baby so that her head is resting on the upper region of your other, non-dominant arm. For mothers, this ensures that their baby is not too close to their breast where the baby could be easily distracted by being close to the smell of their milk supply.
Draw Your baby in close so that while you are in this position you are pressed tummy to tummy with her face nestled just below the top of your shoulder. Your palm will be on her bottom with her legs tucked up into your body and so supported by your forearm.
With your non-dominant arm, reach around Your baby’s shoulder and take hold of her arm to steady it, so that you are able to control the Startle Movement.
For this technique to be effective, don’t engage in any eye contact or communication between you and Your baby. Allow your own body to do the nurturing.
Cupping and Patting
Cupping is a stronger action than patting and is done with a cupped palm, incorporating both cupping and a short, but gentle, thrust forward of Your baby’s body.
Cupping or patting her bottom or lower body mimics your heartbeat (a sound she became familiar with while in your womb) and reassures Your baby of your presence.
Patting is a rhythmic, firm (but gentle) and repetitive action done with the flat palm of your hand.
Both can be done while Your baby is in your arms or you can adapt the technique to allow you use it while she is in her cot.
If Your baby doesn’t like this particular method of cupping and patting, it’s okay to modify the technique so that it works for her. However, the important thing is that it is still focused on her lower region so that it works effectively.
Shushing
Shushing is a long, low sound, similar to the sound of air being released from a tyre. It should be loud enough so that Your baby can hear it over her crying. It is thought that babies respond to shushing because it is similar to the ‘white noise’ sound that they experienced while they were in the womb.
SWADDLING
This is useful as Your baby’s first sleep cue. Although she may not be too keen on some of the swaddling techniques you have tried, you may find that she will love the ‘Snow Angel’ swaddle. This seems to work for the majority of babies who often find the other ways of swaddling uncomfortable.
A video showing how you can do the ‘Snow Angel’ swaddle is available for purchase on my website under the tutorial section, as well as other videos on Baby Settling, Baby Burping and Baby Bathing which you may find helpful.
Otherwise, if you choose not to swaddle Your baby, then I would recommend you use a sleeping bag as her first sleep cue.
SELF-SETTLING
I believe one of the most important skills that parents can teach babies is that of self-settling. It teaches babies how to gain control over their emotional state and this in turn leads to them developing their emotional backbone as they grow. It does not happen overnight and needs to be taught in a nurturing way.
When you go to bed you may read a book, meditate, watch TV, or chat with your partner – a baby can only do one thing and that is cry. There is nothing unhealthy about a baby crying before going to sleep. As a parent, it can be difficult to listen to but as long as Your baby is happy and contented generally, crying is just part of life. Remember you are not leaving her there to cry it out; you are leaving her there to give her the ability to find her own sleep. You will not get anywhere by leaving her to cry for hours. You will succeed quicker by giving her space and then helping her to find her sleep.
Self-settling is the key to establishing healthy sleep patterns. It gently teaches babies how to find sleep naturally, without the use of sleep aids, props or interference.
It is that small window that occurs when Your baby starts crying until the moment you intervene to help her find her sleep. This window initially may be for only a minute or two but as she grows it increases until eventually she will be able to find sleep independently. It is a crucial step in Your baby’s sleep development.
Self-settling does NOT involve leaving Your baby to cry it out alone to finally fall asleep due to stress and exhaustion.
RESETTLING
This is how to get Your baby to sleep and to enable her to stay asleep.
Resettling teaches Your baby how to progress from light to heavy sleep. This is essential to avoid the pitfalls of frequent waking and catnapping. In a sense, resettling is the second stage of teaching her how to find sleep and does demand more time and patience than settling (TACT).Resettling is about staying with your baby to ensure she goes into a sleep cycle.
Most babies stir or wake when progressing from light to heavy sleep and this occurs anywhere between 20-45 minutes. In the beginning the idea is not to let Your baby wake fully during this transition; a sleepy baby is easier to resettle than a wide-awake, crying baby.
However, as she grows you will need to step back and allow Your baby the ability to try and resettle without any intervention. When you do this you will use your settling cycles.
Generally, a baby who does not learn how to resettle will have short sleep cycles, and wake during the night, without the ability to fall back asleep on her own. The aim of resettling is to ensure Your baby sleeps for not less than 1½ hours per sleep rhythm.
ROUTINE (RHYTHM) – UP TO 12 WEEKS
Your baby’s current rhythm will be an awake-time of approximately 45 minutes to a maximum of 1-½ hours. By the time she is 12 weeks old she is likely to be awake for approximately 1½ hours, and then by 6 months this awake period will be around 2½ to 3 hours – this all depends on the individual baby together with how well they are feeding.
Currently, Your baby’s naptime is approximately 1½ hours, but it may be for a longer period of time. It is Your baby’s sleep rhythm that will indicate how often she feeds as, once she is awake, it is time for her to feed. As a baby grows they are able to learn to wait for food; however, a baby under 12 weeks of age needs to be fed within a few minutes of waking. Understandably babies feed better once they have had a good sleep e.g. awake for 45 minutes, napping for 1½ hours = feeding every 2 ¼ hours.
Just do it! – Putting the Routine in action:
There a many ways to ‘Just do it!’ Here are some ideas and suggestions:
Settling in Arms:
• Place «Baby» in her cot while she is still awake. It is important she familiarises herself with what will become her primary sleeping place.
• “Dump and run” - but in a nurturing way!
• Leave the room - “don’t hover like a helicopter.”
• When «Baby» cries, respond immediately by going into her room.
• Pick Your baby up from her cot.
• “Sit out the storm” by sitting down in a quiet place while engulfing her.
• Remain calm and still allowing your body and mind to nurture her.
• Imagine your body as being her bed. Hold Your baby in the “Engulf hold”. Don’t rock, talk or make eye contact with her.
• Allow Your baby to cry for as long as you feel comfortable with. The following times are guidelines only for this as much will depend on how your baby responds and the choices you make about how you wish to handle this situation.
Newborn 0-6 weeks
0-2 minutes crying
Newborn 6-12 weeks
0-5 minutes crying
Some babies cry, then will settle themselves and fall asleep fairly quickly.
If Your baby continues to cry, you will need to help her settle into her sleep cycle. Her cry could be on and off like a car engine, or may escalate for a few minutes then taper off. Remember it is just her way of de-stressing and winding down.
Intervene with cupping and shushing and, if necessary, offer a dummy. As Your baby drifts off to sleep, replace cupping with patting, until she is asleep.
If she does not respond and go to sleep then an example of how to settle in arms would look like this
Do this step off and on for up to 20 minutes and then you need to cup/shush until she goes to sleep.
Resettling in Arms
It is easier to resettle your baby in your arms. The reason is that you can easily feel her slight changes in movement that indicate she is stirring and moving from the first sleep cycle to the next. This will usually occur about 45 minutes after she first falls asleep. As soon as you feel these movements, lightly start cupping and shushing her, using the dummy if you wish to, so that she settles back to sleep.
You may choose to let «Baby» sleep the entire nap in your arms. Alternatively, after the first approximately 45 minute sleep cycle, you may transfer her to her cot once she has progressed from light to a deep sleep. Before the baby wakes I do put them into their cot so that they get used to waking there
“Allowing your baby to sleep in your arms is not a cop out. On the contrary, it instils a sense of security that makes them feel nurtured and ready for sleep”.
Settling Your Baby in the Cot
• Place «Baby» in her cot while she is still awake. It is important she familiarises herself with what will become her primary sleeping place.
• “Dump and run” but in a nurturing way!
• Leave the room - “don’t hover like a helicopter.”
• Allow «Baby» to cry for up to 1 minute then intervene by picking her up and burping her.
• Place her in cot and leave the room
• Let her cry/grizzle from 1 to 5 minutes
• Comfort with cupping, shushing and optional dummy
• If she doesn't respond to the cupping and shushing, then step back and allow her more time (up to 5 minutes) and then comfort.
• Cry/grizzle from 1 to 5 minutes
• Comfort (as above)
• Cry/grizzle from 1 to 5 minutes
• Comfort (as above)
• Cry/grizzle from 1 to 5 minutes
• Comfort by continuing cupping, shushing and optional dummy until Your baby falls asleep
Do this step off and on for up to 20 minutes and then you need to cup/shush until she goes to sleep.
Comfort by placing your hand firmly on Your baby’s chest if she is lying on her back. With your other hand start cupping and shushing. This is reassuring for her and establishes as much contact as possible without having to hold her. At this stage you can offer her a dummy as well.
Alternatively, you can choose to roll her on her side so she is facing away from you. Place one hand firmly over her shoulder and her arms (not her waist) to ‘engulf’ her and with your other hand start cupping her on her back and shushing her. This is called engulfing in the cot. Again, you may also choose to incorporate offering her a dummy while doing this.
Continue cupping and shushing until Your baby falls asleep, and then gently roll her onto her back, continuing to pat her lower region with your other hand on her chest. Or, if you are confident she is asleep, you can just quietly leave the room.
Once you sense Your baby is asleep lighten the patting until you eventually withdraw your hand, continuing with the patting motion as if patting the air.
If she stirs, intervene with patting again very lightly until she returns to sleep. It is possible for her during this light sleep phase to vary between sleeping and stirring.
If Your baby stays asleep, leave the room promptly and quietly.
If, as you exit, Your baby stirs or you hear her crying once you have left the room, return and repeat the process.
If Your baby does not settle, you may choose to pick her up and settle in your arms (see above).
Resettling in the cot
In the beginning it is important to respond immediately when Your baby begins to stir as it is easier to resettle her before she wakes too much. Eventually you will need to step back and allow her the ability to do this on her own.
Respond by cupping and shushing until Your baby falls asleep again, continuing to pat on her bottom with your hand. Offer her a dummy as well. Your two options are to resettle her by cupping while she is lying on her back, or resettle her by cupping her when she is lying on her side, using the engulf hold.
Once you sense that Your baby is asleep, remove your hand from her chest and lighten the patting on her bottom until eventually you can withdraw your hand, continuing to pat, as if patting the air.
Remember: Resettling is done in the cot, so it important that you stay with her until she is asleep.
If Your baby stays asleep, leave the room promptly and quietly.
If, as you exit, Your baby stirs or you hear her crying once you have left the room, return and repeat the process.
If Your baby does not settle, you may choose to pick her up and settle her in your arms (see above).
Getting Up
When you go to pick Your baby up from her cot whether it is after a nap or in the mornings, open up the room before picking her up. This encourages Your baby to play or lie in her cot; she will also learn that when you walk into the room you are not going to pick her up straight away. I always chat to my babies when I go in, while opening up the room. I also use this time to put away clothes etc.
This is a way of teaching Your baby how to feel secure in her own space and your presence and soothing voice signals to her that she is safe without you having to scoop her up in your arms.
SETTLING YOUR BABY AFTER 12 WEEKS
Twelve weeks marks the end of the 4th trimester and is an ideal time for most babies to begin spending the majority of their sleeping hours in a cot.
This is often their first major step in recognising themselves as individuals who are separate from their mothers. It is especially important that this transition is carried out with consistency, tenderness and patience. This step I refer to as nurturing within boundaries.
BABY CARE
BATHING YOUR BABY
Pre-bath
First, arrange Your baby’s clothes in the order in which they will be put on. For example, bottom on pile should be the outer clothes, next the nappy, and on top the vest.
Lay out a towel and any other bathing products you need.
Place Your baby on the floor to kick while running the bath. I would take her nappy off so that she can have some ‘nappy free’ time.
The room needs to be warm - not draughty or too hot.
Products to use for bathing a baby
• Olive Oil
• Mild shampoo (no Paraffin or Sulphates)
• Body soap (mild). This is optional but I recommend products without Paraffin or Sulphates – I prefer Cetaphil (blue label), or natural skincare products such as Tummy Mummy (a pure castile soap) and Made4Baby.
Running the bath
How hot should the bath water be? The temperature of the water can vary from baby to baby, however it should not be extreme - so neither lukewarm nor scalding hot, so as not to burn them.
Again the depth of the water varies from family to family but I always suggest around 2 to 3 inches (5 to 7.5 centimetres). Check the bath by testing with the sensitive skin on your elbow; or alternatively you can use a bath thermometer.
Remember: as the bath is shallow, the water will cool off very quickly.
I tend to add olive oil to the bath – this helps with any dry skin or skin issues. Just drizzle a small amount into the water as you would over a salad.
Eyes and Face
For newborns I tend to wash their face before putting them in the bath. Start by using cotton wool squares for the eyes (a separate square for each eye) and a face cloth for the face. I tend to wet these under running warm water and then wash the eyes first, wiping from their inner eye (nose side) to the outer eye. Then I wash their whole face with a soft cloth or small muslin square. I dry their eyes and face before putting them in the bathtub.
Putting baby into the bath
With one arm holding Your baby under the back of her neck (i.e. her neck rests on your inner wrist) and grasping her shoulder, your other hand under her bottom, lower Your baby into the bath.
Your hand touches the water first so it's a double check to ensure the water is at the right temperature.
Remove your hand from her bottom and wash Your baby in the following manner.
If bathing in the normal bathtub, once you have placed Your baby in the water, you can let her free float as long as the water is not too deep. This gives you both hands free to wash her.
Hair/Scalp
Using a sponge or cloth, wet Your baby’s hair thoroughly. Use a very small amount of shampoo (do not squirt this directly onto her hair/scalp and using your fingers, lightly scrub the scalp especially over the fontanel area. I find that when you squirt the shampoo directly onto their scalp that sometimes it doesn't get washed off probably and then can contribute to skin issues.
Rinse well, again using a sponge or cloth ensuring that you are rinsing her scalp as well as her hair.
Body
I only tend to wash under the neck, armpits and bottom. Babies do not get dirty; bathing is just to freshen them up. If using body soap, use sparingly and once again, only under the neck, armpits and bottom
Turn Your baby over onto her tummy and in doing this support her head by cupping her chin in your hand. This position enables you to wash the back crease of her bottom.
Remove Your baby from the bath and place her on the towel. Wrap her in the towel and carry her to wherever you are going to dry and dress her.
Drying Your baby
Hair – you can firmly rub dry Your baby’s hair ensuring that you are drying her scalp as well as her hair.
Dry behind her ears making sure that you get right into the crease and that you are pat drying the fold between the scalp and ear.
Also pat dry Your baby’s skin – no rubbing. Dry under her neck and armpits making sure that you get right into her creases and dry the centre and not just the outside parts of these creases. If these creases are left moist, a fungal infection can occur.
Turn Your baby over onto her tummy to dry the back of her neck, back crease of bottom and back of her knee creases.
Dry the palms of her hands and check between fingers and toes for fluff.
If you find the towel is too thick or difficult to get into all the creases especially the neck ones then use a dry muslin cloth.
Dressing Your baby
I like to dress the chest first, which is sometimes a little tricky, but as long as you are move quickly you can get the vest and nappy on before she has a chance to wee. This is where laying out the clothes in order comes in handy as you start with the vest, followed by the nappy and finish with her remaining clothes.
How often should you bathe Your baby?
This is optional, however, I like to incorporate it into a baby’s daily routine so I do it every evening at around the 5 to 6pm feed. It is not bathing a baby daily that can lead to problems with their skin; it is the length of time that you keep them in the bath water. Whilst Your baby may like lying in the water, it should take longer to undress and dry and dress her than the time spent washing her in the bath.
CRADLE CAP
Cradle cap is common in young babies.
How to treat cradle cap:
• Use Vaseline/Coconut oil to treat cradle cap. Smear it onto the scalp quite thickly and massage well into Baby’s scalp.
• Leave for a few minutes and then start gentle massaging and you should see the flakes start to lift.
• Massage or brush Your baby’s hair with a soft brush in circular motions - this is also an effective way to lift the cradle cap.
Reapply Vaseline/Coconut oil throughout the day and repeat the above steps.
Using a sponge or cloth, wet her hair thoroughly. Use a very small amount of shampoo (do not squirt this directly onto her hair/scalp) and using your fingers, lightly scrub the scalp especially over the fontanel area. Then rinse well, again using a sponge or cloth, ensuring that you are rinsing her scalp as well as her hair.
Drying her hair – you can firmly rub dry Your baby’s hair ensuring that you are drying her scalp as well as her hair. After drying her hair, brush her scalp in all directions to lift the cradle cap and also do a lot of circular brushing and then finally brush their hair to how you would normally style it.
DO NOT PICK the cradle cap off – this could result in the scalp weeping and also could lead to Your baby getting an infection in the site. Following the above will not cure but improve the worse type of cradle cap within 24 hours and you should see an improvement over the next few days,
Forehead and eye brows – cradle cap can also occur in these areas but just treat it in the manner as you would if it occurred on Baby’s head.
Behind ears – ensure that you pat dry between the ear and the scalp and then, ONLY when that area is dry, apply Vaseline/Coconut oil. Otherwise the Vaseline/Coconut oil will seal in any lingering moisture and this could potentially lead to a fungal infection.
While getting rid of cradle cap you will need to wash Your baby every night.
If you do not like using Vaseline then I have been advised that coconut oil is an effective and natural alternative.
DRESSING YOUR BABY - OVERHEATING AND CLOTHING
Indoors
Young babies are unable to control their body temperature and can easily overheat.
Now that many houses are insulated and often have heating and/or double glazing, the inside temperature does not vary very much from winter to summer so babies do not need to be dressed very differently when indoors in either season.
A good way to assess whether the temperature inside will be comfortable for baby is to look at yourself and what you are wearing. If you are comfortable wearing light clothing then it is likely the room temperature is satisfactory for Your baby.
You can check Your baby’s comfort by placing your hand on their neck or their tummy. If she feels too hot or is sweating freely, then it is too hot for comfort and you will need to act by either adjusting the room temperature or removing a layer of her clothing.
Babies should not be put to bed at home with a hat or bib on as it’s not safe.
At Home - Ideal Room temperature
Age Temperature
Less than 1 month 18°C to 20°C
(65°F to 70°F)
1 month onwards 16°C to 19°C
(62°F to 68°F)
Out and about
In hot weather protect Your baby from the sun with a shade and a sun hat. A baby’s skin burns very easily, even when you think that the strength of the sun is insufficient to affect your own skin.
Babies under six months old should ideally not be exposed to sunlight at all, so it’s a good idea to invest in a UV protection buggy shade and when not in the buggy, find a shady spot to sit in. However, remember: a baby can still get sunburnt in the shade.
In Cars
Remember that babies can easily get overheated in a car and it is not advisable to put Your baby in her jacket/coat until out of the car and in her buggy/pram. Remember the same applies when you get back in the car to go home.
At the shops
In shops, once inside a shopping centre, remove plastic rain covers, blankets, hat and mittens. If you are feeling hot then imagine how Your baby is feeling.
Returning home from a walk
If Your baby is asleep when you return home, do not put her to bed or leave her asleep indoors in her outdoor clothes. Try and remove layers without waking her.
Alternatively, I do not always wake a baby when I get home from a walk. You can leave Your baby to continue to sleep in her pram in a cool place in the house or go outside with her and relax in the garden.
Babies do lose heat from their heads – so keep a hat on outdoors, if necessary and remove it when Your baby comes back indoors.
Prevent Overheating
An overheated baby may well become red-faced, start to sweat and become fractious, but some babies can often sleep for long periods continuing to get hotter and hotter without you knowing. Don’t wait for Your baby to get too hot, take the steps above to prevent this from happening.
change table unattended. Secondly, it will still smell and so will need to be emptied daily anyway. I prefer the good old-fashioned pedal bin - I put the soiled nappies into the perfumed nappy sacks and ensure that I empty it daily.
Spotlight sells blackout material so you can make your own blackout blinds by using Velcro to fix the material over the windows. Whilst not as easy as rolling up a blind, these can be clipped up during the day.
Avoid curtains with tassels – your baby will only pull on them when she grows older.
PLEASE NOTE:
The suggested routine above is only intended as a guide and should be used as such. Remember YOU are Your baby’s mum and so listen to your own heart and instinct. Yes, we don’t all do it by the book, or get it right the first time, so remember that you need to make ‘mistakes’ to get it right for you. It will be a period of trial and error, but it’s also a time of discovering Your baby’s personality and figuring out what works best for her, you and your home life.
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Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 30 May 2014 at 9:50pm
Hi Ladies
Thank you for all your questions and hopefully the answers will help you. It was lovely to meet you all at the OHBaby Coffee Catchup.
Remember before you do anything STOP, THINK, and ACT – work out what you are doing, why you are doing, and what you are trying to accomplish and then act.
Remember YOU are the baby’s mum and so listen to your heart and instinct. Yes, we all don’t do it by the book, or get it right the first time, but you need to make ‘mistakes’ to get it right for you. It’s a time of learning a little person’s personality and figuring out what works for your home life.
If you have the time I would love to see you pop over to http://www.facebook.com/BabyWithin and 'like' it. You can then keep up with information that I post from time to time or hear from other mothers who write on the wall. Also there is now a “recommendations’ section and it would great to hear your comments.
Please remember as a parent or carer that you should understand and acknowledge that Dorothy is NOT a licensed medical doctor or other licensed medical provider and the information that I share with you has come from experience and working with numerous families and babies and toddlers
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Posted By: Guest_44230
Date Posted: 31 May 2014 at 4:08pm
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Thank you so much Dorothy!
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Posted By: chaz_ttmn
Date Posted: 31 May 2014 at 8:11pm
Thank you very much Dorothy!
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