Coffee Catchup 25th February with Dorothy Waide
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Topic: Coffee Catchup 25th February with Dorothy Waide
Posted By: skiltz
Subject: Coffee Catchup 25th February with Dorothy Waide
Date Posted: 19 February 2013 at 2:59pm
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Thanks for attending! If you have any questions or comments please discuss below. ONLY 5 PLACES LEFT http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/community/coffee-group-catchup/ |
Replies:
Posted By: FHolmes
Date Posted: 25 February 2013 at 5:06pm
| Dorothy, did your feed, play, cuddle, feed, then put to bed routine apply to under 12 weeks old? And did you mean two full feeds? |
Posted By: BDTM14
Date Posted: 25 February 2013 at 7:17pm
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Hi there Firstly thanks for yesterday. Im having trouble with my 11.5week old getting to sleep during the day. I have tried Feed (bottle), play, Change, feed (boob) down for a sleep and its worked a couple of times but she falls asleep on the boob and most of the time she will wake up as soon as I put her down. She has up and down days where some times she will sleep and sometimes she wont. Most of the time that she sleeps is when we are out and about. Even then sometimes can be a bit of hit & miss too as she also is not a fan of her capsule. I find that usually the only time that she will go to sleep is to feed to sleep on the boob and also to be rocked in my arms to sleep or rocked in her buggy to sleep. Or also in her baby electric rocker she falls asleep. Today I tried the cupping that you showed us yesterday but I think Im doing it wrong as I think I just irritated her even more. For a while I thought it was also because she wasnt getting enough formula or milk from me and thats why she wasnt getting sleepy so yesterday I started to give her more and she gave me a couple of good sleeps (on was actually in the car on the way to the meeting yesterday and she was asleep until the last 30 mins so I fed her changed her and we pretty much left at the end and she had a few grizzles on the way home but fell asleep again. But today she woke up at 4:30 am after going down at 10 (she normally sleeps right through til 6 or 7am) I was up for an hour feeding before I could get her down again as she didnt actually want the bottle she kept fussing and getting pissed off with it but would happily take the boob. I got her back down at 5:30 before she woke again a 7am and has been up since (with a short 30min catnap in between). Although she is currently napping now in her rocker. Shes not in a cot shes still in the moses basket (shes only little - was 5lbs2oz and 47cm at birth and is now only 9lbs 1oz and 55cm). Please help I need her to have sleeps at home in her bed during the day but I just dont know what to do. Thanks |
Posted By: c_ra_v_na
Date Posted: 25 February 2013 at 9:14pm
| Hi Dorothy, I have a 5 months old baby who still has a reflux and on medication. I believe he is ready to be weaned as he can hold his head up, still hungry after a feed, shows interest in food and opens his mouth when a spoon appraches. Do you have any resources/guidelines on how to introduce solids? how much and how often should I give the pureed food to my baby? Does solid food help to reduce the reflux? Thanks. |
Posted By: Anna92090
Date Posted: 26 February 2013 at 6:10am
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Hi Dorothy I have an 8 week old who is fully breastfed who often lies awake, grizzling intermittently when put down to sleep. She is swaddled and usually side sleeps but can wriggle away, sometimes talking away to herself and letting out a grizzle every now and then for up to an hour. I can often predict when she will do this because whilst feeding she starts to twist and turn and her arms and legs are moving. When I put her on my shoulder to settle and shush her to prepare for going to bed she pushes up and kicks with her legs and her head bobs around often knocking into mine. Most times she drops off to sleep very quickly when placed in her bassinet with not even a cry but I wondered what the explanation was for the above behaviour. Do you intervene for non-sleepers after allowing them 20-30 mins to fall asleep? Thanks. |
Posted By: Guest_85208
Date Posted: 26 February 2013 at 7:43am
| Hi Dorothy, thank you for your advise yesterday. My son has just gone on 8 months, when he is breast feed he is a snacker, I'm not too sure how to get him to feed for longer, I have tried extending the time between feeds and this isn't helping. Our dr suggested I give him bottle top ups. We are now feeding him bottles through the day and breast during the night. He is a terrible sleeper, during the day and night time. He is also very inconsistent. I have been keeping a sleep log over the last week and have found some nights he will wake 5 or 6 times and Sunday night he slept right through. Last night I tried the techniques u suggested and I ended up breast feeding him just to get some sleep myself. He went to bed later then usual, woke three times and then woke up earlier then usual. Now he is really unpleasant to be around. I am exhausted and being to feel like we r both a lost course. What more can I do? |
Posted By: Mumsie Robertson
Date Posted: 26 February 2013 at 8:23am
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Hi Dorothy, Thank you for yesterday, I found it extremely helpful. I have a 4week old who doesn't yet have much of a 'routine' so I look forward to putting your techniques in place. He usually goes down at night around 11pm and will wake around 4am grunting and lip smacking etc. I feed him and he then sleeps until around 7-8am. I am going to start trying to put him to bed at 7pm, but know he will wake two or three times through the night. My question is, at this age do I need to feed him during the night or should I resettle him back to sleep, and at what point do I feed him? |
Posted By: BDTM14
Date Posted: 26 February 2013 at 8:53am
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Hi again Just wondering how I do the whole resettling / controlled crying? When should I first go in when my 11.5week old starts to grizzle/cry? how long should I let her cry for to self settle? Oh and she doesnt take a dummy no matter how much I try. I have tried alll kinds too |
Posted By: Guest_87087
Date Posted: 26 February 2013 at 9:12am
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Hi Dorothy Thank you for taking the time to address us yesterday, although hard to hear many of the things you said made sense to me. Like a few others at the group my son (who is 8 months and fully breastfed with soilds) has started to wake more often in the night than he used to. Last night following your advice I tired to re-settle him when he first woke at 11pm without feeding, sad to say I failed because he started to scream worse than I have heard him since birth and I gave up (too easily I possibly feel as his Dad wondered why on earth I was letting him get so upset as did I), how long roughly would you suggest I persist to try and resettle him without feeding, he really does seem so very upset and I think I am questioning whether maybe he possibly is hungry? Also with him being 8 months, in your experience is it best to just try resettling in his cot without picking him up? (I tried this also last night but failed after a few minutes and picked him up to cuddle him). Thanks for your advice |
Posted By: Guest_85485
Date Posted: 26 February 2013 at 9:15am
| Hi Dorothy, I am trying to introduce a bottle to my 12 week old. What teats would you recommend. At the moment she will take the bottle with classic teat, 2 holes in her mouth but just pushes it around with her tongue and gets no milk out. Thanks |
Posted By: Guest_87087
Date Posted: 26 February 2013 at 9:20am
| Sorry also, on the handout at the talk yesterday it talks about Dorothy's toddler routine, can you tell me where I can find this information. Thanks |
Posted By: Jennifer106950
Date Posted: 26 February 2013 at 9:28am
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Hi Dorothy I have a 10 week old boy who is a great night time sleeper - goes down around 9pm and wakes around 9am with 2 feeds in that time (usually 3am and 7am). I have no problem getting him back to sleep - usually have him up, changed, feed & back in bed in 30-45mins (sometimes he's still awake when I put him down and he gets himself to sleep).... my problem is daytime sleeps - if he's been awake for an hour I cuddle/jiggle him to sleep no problem but if I put him down in his bassinet he wakes after 10 mins and wont go back to sleep - if I pick him up he'll go straight back to sleep on me and will happily sleep on me for up to an hour - during this time I repeatedly try to put him in his bassinet but the above repeats over and over - he ends up like a yoyo until I give in and just let him sleep on me... I feel like I might be getting him into a bad habbit and its hard to get stuff done if he's always sleeping on me! - I've tried leaving him crying for 10 mins and tried shooshing him while he's still in the bassinet but nothing seems to work... (I'm exclusively breastfeeding- his feeding routine is 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm, 9pm snack before bed, 3am) Thanks so much! Any suggestions much appreciated :-) |
Posted By: Leashy7
Date Posted: 26 February 2013 at 10:18am
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My son is almost 8 months and has silent reflux which he has medication for. Would you be able to tell me the solid foods I should stay clear of for him as I can't remember all of the ones you mentioned yesterday. After day 2 of feeding solids first and then milk before sleeps- we both had a pretty good nights sleep last night! He went to bed at 7 and woke around one so I fed him then up at 6 and back to sleep for another hour. When would be a good time to wean him off the middle of the night feed? |
Posted By: Guest_78540
Date Posted: 26 February 2013 at 12:50pm
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Hi, Thanks for yesterday. I think you mentioned you had a solids sheet you could send out, are you able to make it available? Thanks |
Posted By: Guest_85208
Date Posted: 26 February 2013 at 3:27pm
| Hi there, my son (8 months) has gone back to napping every hour for 40 mins. Should this be a concern? And how do I extend his nap and awake time to the recommend 2 naps per day 2 - 2.5 hours? |
Posted By: Louloublue
Date Posted: 26 February 2013 at 3:53pm
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Hi Dorothy, thank you for your time yesterday! I have trouble with getting my 14 month old to nap for longer than 30-45min during the day, and then she has a long 'witching hour' most nights from 4 or 5pm through to 7 or 8pm. She is swaddled (in the Zip-up love to swaddle sleeping bag style swaddle) when she sleeps, but if it is too hot I will leave her arms free, which doesn't seem to bother her. I'm thinking she may not be getting enough sleep during the day? She is fully breastfed (2-3 hourly during day) and in general is a pretty happy baby, and doesn't seem to have reflux. Her routine is she conks out at about 8-8.30pm into a deep sleep, and will sleep 10hours, which is great! She wakes at 6-6.30am for a feed and then happily naps from about 7-9/9.30am. Then she will usually have a nap around midday (anywhere from 11.30-1pm) and again mid to late afternoon - we usually go for a walk in the stroller mid afternoon, and she happily dozes. She self settles in her basinet for these day naps, BUT usually only last for 30-45min and she will then cry, wanting to get up and play and appears to have had enough sleep? The odd day she has had 1.5-2 hour mid-afternoon naps, and hardly any witching hour because of that - but this is rare! And I can't seem to find a theme or reason why? By 4-5pm, the grizzling begins! I try to get her down after her late afternoon feed (4ish), and usually she will cluster feed hourly until 8-8.30pm when after her last feed (after which she will fall immediately into her deep sleep in her basinet, as she is so exhausted). During the witching hour she he will cry if put anywhere near her basinet. She will not sleep on me or anywhere else. I have only had success in getting her to go to sleep some nights if I feed her until she falls asleep on me (usually after 7pm this sometimes works), or I have to rock her in her basinet for up to 45min! I try changing her, singing, burping, seeing if she is not too hot or cold, cupping, putting her down then placing my hand on her in the basinet to reassure her and not making eye contact & walking away (this did work twice - until she cottoned on). I have tried leaving her to cry in her basinet but her grizzles turn to more upset, full on, red faced crying and I hate leaving her like that - I can't leave her longer than 10min crying, and that is hard enough! I would greatly appreciate any suggestions for extending her day naps, and alleviating this witching hour period. I know the witching hour (or 'hours'!) in the early evening scenario seems quite common amongst my friends too? |
Posted By: Lisa107045
Date Posted: 26 February 2013 at 9:18pm
| Hi Dorothy- thanks for your help on Monday, I found it very informative and wish Id heard you earlier! Can you give me any advice about international travel in terms of sleep patterns etc? We are going to UK soon and so Im wondering whether there is anything I can do to make the adjustment easier for my daughter (who will then be 9 months)? Also, you mentioned not to give reflux babies baby rice- I have some millet cereal for babies- is there any concerns youd have about giving her that? We started solids last week and she is enjoying it so far- how quickly would you build up to three solid feeds a day (we're just doing one a day at the moment)? Thanks very much |
Posted By: vickyduffy98304
Date Posted: 26 February 2013 at 11:37pm
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Thank you for all your advice yesterday. I have a question which involves a slightly older child. I have a 7 week old son and an 18 month daughter, my daughter has always been a light sleeper and fights her nap times and bed times as much as she can. I am having an issue with her being woken especially from her day sleep ( she is down to 1 sleep a day) by any noise but especially crying that my son makes. It is unrealistic for him to make no noise but the sound completely wakes her up even when she has not had anywhere near enough sleep. Any tips to deal with this would be great? |
Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 27 February 2013 at 8:34am
| Thanks to all the Mums and Dads and babies that attended the coffee session. It was lovely to meet you all. My apologises but I am having trouble accessing the forum so the answers are coming - just a little slower than usual. |
Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 27 February 2013 at 8:35am
For under 12 weeks most babies are up for between 45 minutes to an one hour so depending on how long your baby takes to feed, depends on whether you do one or two feeds in their awake cycle. Babies that feed very quickly I do tend to do feed, play/cuddle, feed and bed For babies that take a long time to feed then feed, cuddle, bed Dorothy |
FHolmes wrote:Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 27 February 2013 at 8:35am
You have not mentioned how long her awake time is but as she is going on for 12 weeks I would suggest her awake time should be between 1 to 1/2 hours with her napping for approx 1 1/2 hours therefore she will be on 3 hrly feeds. ONce you have fed her (which includes changing nappy), then playing and then a top up (either boob or bottle), you would then swaddle or put into her sleeping bag. This will wake her up if she has started to fall asleep on the breast. If she continues to fall asleep on the breast then bring the top up feed back earlier to try and avoid this. Also when she starts to fall asleep take her off the breast - don't leave her there. The way you are putting her to sleep at the moment is taking away her right and ability to find her own sleep and it is the easy way. The hard way, which becomes the easy way is to teach her to settle in her cot and start asleep. it takes TACT - time, acceptance, consistency and tranquility to teach a baby to sleep and then to stay asleep. So if you feel the way you are doing the cupping is wrong, please send me your Skype name and I will Skype and re show you. Also you are offering her a bottle what is in the bottle - breast or formula. If formula I would suggest NANHA or Karicare HA as the gastric emptying for these two formulas is similar to breast. dorothy |
Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 27 February 2013 at 8:41am
Hi please find attached notes on introducing solids and vegetables http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/images/Introd%20Solids.pdf" rel="nofollow - http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/images/Introd Solids.pdf http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/images/DorothyVegetables.pdf" rel="nofollow - Dorothy's Vegetables |
Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 27 February 2013 at 8:43am
Hi I don't really intervene with babies that are happy in their cots. In my experience most babies take approximately 20 minutes to find their sleep and it I understand from your question she eventually falls asleep, is quite happy in her cot although wriggling around. |
Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 27 February 2013 at 8:44am
Hi you haven't mentioned whether he is feeding solids or not. I would suggest not trying something new at the end of the day, and i am not sure what you tried - was this to do with food or settling. With regard to your daytime routine it should look something like this Wakes Breakfast - solids followed by breast Morning tea - breast milk Nap Lunch - solids followed by breast Afternoon tea breast milk Nap Dinnner - solids followed by breast Bath Top up - offer formula Naps ideally should be a minimum of 1 1/2 hours resettle if he wakes before this. Night waking resettle ensure you are feeding for hunger not comfort Dorothy |
Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 27 February 2013 at 8:45am
Hi I always try and resettle before feeding during the night, or I ensure I don't jump up at the slightest sound and feed. With regard to resettling at 4 weeks I would try for a few minutes and if he doesn't go back to sleep then feed. Always go with what you feel is right and feed once you have given the resettling a go. Some babies during the night just need a little cupping/patting and then nod back off to sleep. Dorothy |
Posted By: Guest_51222
Date Posted: 27 February 2013 at 8:45am
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Hi Dorothy thanks for your advice on Monday. I have a 11 week old boy who is bottle feed 180mls every 4 hours. apparantely he has reflux so is on gaviscon at each feed also. He is 64cm long and was 6.8kg at last weigh in. His routine is as follows. bath, bottle then bed at 8.30 with him asleep by 9.15, sleeps through until anywhere from 3am to 6am with him not wanting a feed unless its 5.30am, goes back to sleep until 8.30/9am wakes has bottle play time until tired normally hour to hour half, has a nap of maybe 1 hour then awake until next feed at 1.30pm bottle play sleep could be anywhere from 1 hour to 3 hours, bottle at 5.30pm then has witching hour generally pretty happy until 7-7.30 try to put him in cot but wont, sometimes falls asleep on the couch between me and dad. then goes for bedtime routine at 8.30. the problem is during the day he wakes up screaming in pain about 30 mins into his nap with his legs up to his stomach and bright red in the face. i rub his belly put his dummy in and he generally gets back to sleep unless he is a lot of pain then i pick him up soothe him then put back down. Hes a good burper and has quite a few spills sadly so im not sure what is wrong or how to help (end of his bed is raised) but it wakes him up when hes in a good sleep. he passes wind a lot also. i know im lucky to get a good sleep from him at the night and has been sleeping those hours since he was maybe 4 weeks...but its never consistant, how do I get him to sleep through to the 5.30/6 feed as when he wakes he isnt hungry and i change his nappy (if needed) and settle him back to sleep but its very fitful so i dont get back to sleep. hes a kicker in his sleep so whilst hes swaddled he kicks his blankets off and maybe is waking cold? i have no idea. Any help on the sleeping and tummy/reflux issues would be greatly appreciated. |
Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 27 February 2013 at 8:46am
Here is a suggested guideline on how to settle your baby http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/images/ohbabycoffee.docx" rel="nofollow - OHBABY COFFEE |
Posted By: BDTM14
Date Posted: 27 February 2013 at 10:26am
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Hi Dorothy One more question Is there any easy way to get your baby to enjoy the car ride. My LO seems to always cry in her capsule/carseat. It makes car rides not much fun Thanks again and thank you for your answers above. Will try them out :) |
Posted By: Guest_75024
Date Posted: 27 February 2013 at 11:18am
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Hi Dorothy, Thanks for your session, it was very useful! I have a few questions: I'm trying your settling technique with my 4month old son who has silent reflux, is it OK for reflux babies to do this extended crying as part of the settling process? I've been told it can make the reflux worse and to avoid it, but he really needs to learn to sleep! (The bed is raised, he's on meds, cranial, starting solids,, I'm on dairy/soy/sugar/acidic free diet, we just have to wait for him to grow out if it apparently) Also, if after an hour of in-and-out settling during the night (in the stages as you outlined) do I then give in and feed to sleep? Or feed then put down awake and try the stages again? Thirdly, to resettle after he wakes (he's a 25min napper), do I start the settling stages again? And how long for before we give up on the nap? I currently rock him back to sleep which can take ages and he effectively gets 2 or 3 shorts naps in one sleep time. Thanks! |
Posted By: sherylw
Date Posted: 27 February 2013 at 1:29pm
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Hi Dorothy. I have an 8 month old and am having pretty much the same problems as Guest_87087, so will read your reply to her and not make you write the same over again! My other question is even though my boy is waking during the night, he is an awesome day sleeper. I put him in his cot after a story and he takes himself off to sleep no problem. He usually sleeps 1.5 - 2 hours for two sleeps a day. Yesterday morning he slept for 3 hours, and this morning 3.5 hours. Should I wake him after your recommended 2 hours for a day sleep? Or should I leave him to wake up in his own good time? Do you think he might need the extra sleep that he is missing out on during the night? I loved listening to you talk on Monday. Lots of great advice and it is nice to hear other wonderful Mums having the same trials as I do! |
Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 28 February 2013 at 9:02pm
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[QUOTE=Guest_87087] Hi Dorothy Thank you for taking the time to address us yesterday, although hard to hear many of the things you said made sense to me. Like a few others at the group my son (who is 8 months and fully breastfed with soilds) has started to wake more often in the night than he used to. Last night following your advice I tired to re-settle him when he first woke at 11pm without feeding, sad to say I failed because he started to scream worse than I have heard him since birth and I gave up (too easily I possibly feel as his Dad wondered why on earth I was letting him get so upset as did I), how long roughly would you suggest I persist to try and resettle him without feeding, he really does seem so very upset and I think I am questioning whether maybe he possibly is hungry? Also with him being 8 months, in your experience is it best to just try resettling in his cot without picking him up? (I tried this also last night but failed after a few minutes and picked him up to cuddle him). Thanks for your advice Hi you havent mentioned his daytime routine and whether he has short naps during the day or whether you use props to put him to sleep or feed to sleep. I find that when they are night waking that it is important to see what they are doing the day. Ideally your sons routine will look something like this during the day 6.30am Wakes 7,00am Breakfast - cereal and fruit, followed by breast feed 9.30am Morning tea - full breast feed 10.00am Nap - minimum 1 1/2 hours resettle if he wakes before this 12.00pm Lunch Vegetables with a good carb base plus protein Offer sips of milk or water in sippy cup, followed by breast feed once he leaves his highchair 2.30pm Afernoon tea - full breast feed 3.00pm Nap - minimum 1 1/2 hours resettle if he wakes before this 5.00pm Dinner - Vegetables with either baby rice as the base or carb (needs to be totally different from lunch) plus protein Offer breast once he leaves the table Evening routine, bath, top up, clean teeth, sleeping bag 7.00pm Bed for the night Resettle during the night ensure you are feeding for hunger not comfort Teaching a baby to resettle during the night is difficult, it is easier to teach them to resettle during the day if they are having short naps. Once they start to learn to do this during the day, it helps to teach them to resettle during the night. Here are my notes on resettling – these are a guideline only and it is not about leaving them alone to cry it out, but to give them their space so that they can have the ability and right to find their own sleep. In answer to your questions, yes it is always easier to settle in the cot, but trust me there will be times that you will pick up your baby. Resettling This is how to get your baby to sleep and to enable him to stay asleep. Resettling teaches babies how to progress from light to heavy sleep. This is essential to avoid the pitfalls of frequent waking and catnapping. In a sense, resettling is the second stage of teaching baby how to find sleep and does demand more time and patience than settling (TACT). Most babies stir or wake when progressing from light to heavy sleep and this occurs anywhere between 20-45 minutes. In the beginning the idea is not to let your baby wake fully during this transition; a sleepy baby is easier to resettle than a wide-awake, crying baby. Resettling is not about calming them down or staying until they just start to drift off, it is about staying with your baby until they go into a deep sleep. However, as he grows you will need to step back and allow your baby the ability to try and resettle without any intervention. The aim of resettling is to ensure your baby sleeps for not less than 1½ hours per sleep rhythm. Your baby can also sleep longer than 1-½ hours – ideally 2 to 2 ½ hour naps are what you are working towards. Generally a baby who does not learn how to resettle will have short sleep cycles and wake during the night without the ability to fall back asleep on his own. RESETTLING SUGGESTED CYCLE First stage – you may choose to miss this stage and go onto the next stage. Respond immediately. To coax your baby into his deep sleep, place one hand over his chest (this is what I call ‘engulfing’ in the cot) and with the other hand begin the cupping action and then progress to gently patting and shushing him back to sleep. You can also turn your baby on his side facing away from you and then do the cupping action. Remove hand from chest and then pat lighter, ending up patting the air. If your baby does not change his sleep pattern then leave the room. If your baby wakes then you need to repeat the process and stay with him until he goes back into a deep sleep. Second stage Leave to cry up to 5 minutes Provide comfort by cupping/shushing then patting and shushing. Stay in the room until your baby goes to sleep. At this stage if he does not go to sleep then you do have the option of picking him up and putting him to sleep in your arms. Third stage Leave to cry up to 10 minutes Provide comfort with cupping/shushing then patting and shushing. At this stage stay in the room until your baby goes to sleep. Fourth stage Leave to cry up to 15minutes STOP THINK and ACT Provide comfort with cupping/shushing then patting and shushing. At this stage stay in the room until your baby goes to sleep. Comfort - two ways of doing this, you stay in the room until your baby goes into a deep sleep and then you leave OR you can attempt to calm him down then leave and give your baby an appropriate time to see if he will resettle. If your baby does not go back to sleep then you will need to stay with him until he goes into a deep sleep. Always try and settle in his cot. It’s harder to resettle if you take him out of the cot, but trust me there will be times that you do this. You can’t spoil a baby at this age; they need lots of nurturing and reassurance. Do this settling up to 10 days – if it’s not working then you need to reassess what you are doing. An example of resettling could be that your baby sleeps for 45 minutes wakes and it takes you another hour to coax them back into sleep and then they will sleep for another 45 minutes or less or sometimes more. Eventually over time your baby will not wake but continue to sleep through this wakeful period. Waking Up When your baby eventually wakes from sleeping, enter the room but avoid immediately picking him up. Instead reassure your baby with your voice, talking whilst opening the curtains. He will feel reassured with your presence. This process is a subtle way of teaching your baby that his crying doesn’t automatically lead to him being immediately picked up and therefore not to stress about it. It is a balance of letting your baby know you are there for him yet by not going straight to him, you are giving him a crucial opportunity to experience his own space and his own emotions, all the time knowing that you are coming to him. |
Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 28 February 2013 at 9:07pm
Hi I tend to have more success with the evenflo bottle with the standard teat. However some times you need to try various to get the right one for your baby. How does she latch onto the breast, I wonder if you need to check her tongue to just rule out any form of tongue tie. ALso how do you hold her when you are trying to bottle feed. If you are sitting her upright or different from a breastfeeding position, then I would suggest you try and feed her in a breastfeeding position and see if this helps. Sometimes a little pressure on the side of her cheek will help her get control of the bottle (this is hard to explain so happy to skype you to show you - just let me know). Are you feeding breast or formula from the bottle. Dorothy |
Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 28 February 2013 at 9:21pm
Hi I see that you have feeding times already established,however if your baby is up for 1 hour and then sleeps the feeding cycle is governed by how long they sleep for. Once they wake then you need to feed them. I find that most babies around 10 weeks are feeding anywhere from 2 1/4 hours to 4 hours during the day and then going for as long as they like at night. Reading your question I see that you cuddle, and then jiggle him to sleep. Basically you are doing the settling process for him without giving him the ability or his right as an individual to find his sleep. My suggestion is the following As he is up for 1 hour he may or may not need a top up before going back to bed, but remember as he grows and his awake time stretches you will find that you will top up before going to bed. This does not cause a feed/sleep association unless of course you let him fall asleep on the breast. I always do the feed, then pop them into their sleeping bag and then into bed. I have attached my settling notes for you to read through. I am sure you will find that if you allow him some time to have a little cry in your arms this will help him find his own sleep. As you can see I dont actually put them back into bed until they have gone into their deep sleep cycle. Once they turn 12 weeks then I take what I have been doing in arms and do in the cot, so hopefully by this stage they are leaving to resettle on their own, but again if they need help to settle or resettle you do so. Letting a young baby under 12 weeks cry for ten minutes will not teach him to find his own sleep - it will only stress you and your household and of course will stress the baby. SELF-SETTLING TOOLS • The ‘Engulf’ Hold • Cupping and patting • Shushing The ‘Engulf’ Hold As its name suggests, this hold provides as much body contact as possible, giving your baby the sense of being completely contained as if in the womb. It positions your baby in such a way that you can initiate other settling techniques simultaneously. In addition, it provides warmth, intimacy and the meditative beat of your heart. Most mothers/fathers prefer using their dominant arm to support the baby’s body from underneath. Choose whichever side feels most natural to you. Hold (Baby) so that his head is resting on the upper region of your non-dominant arm. For mothers, this ensures that their baby is not too close to their breast where he could be easily distracted by being close to their milk supply. Draw (Baby) in close so that you are pressed tummy to tummy with his face nestled just below the top of your shoulder. Your palm will be on your baby’s bottom with his legs tucked up into your body and supported by your forearm. With your non-dominant arm, reach around (Baby)’s shoulder and take hold of his arm to steady it, in other words to control the startle movement. For this technique to be effective, there should be no eye contact or communication between you and your baby. Allow your own body to do the nurturing. Cupping and Patting Cupping is a stronger action and is done with a cupped palm, incorporating both cupping and a short but gentle thrust forward of baby’s body. Patting or cupping your baby’s bottom or lower body mimics your baby’s heartbeat and reassures (Baby) of your presence. Patting is a rhythmic, firm and repetitive action done with your palm flat. Both patting and cupping can be done in your arms or adapted for the cot. Shushing Shushing is a long, low sound, resembling air being released from a tyre. It should be loud enough so that (Baby) can hear it over her crying. It is thought that babies respond to shushing because it is similar to the sound in the womb. Dummies (optional) If you allow (Baby) to wind down before offering a dummy, it becomes a settling tool rather than a prop. Props Babies do not need to be rocked or walked around the block to encourage them to sleep. While movement may seem an obvious method to help soothe a baby to sleep, it becomes the hardest habit to break and interferes with self-settling. It is an unnecessarily labour-intensive approach that often delivers little reward. Instead, imagine that your body takes the place of the cot in which baby will eventually sleep independently; it makes sense that you remain stationary when settling him. All props, including music, white noise, movement that cannot be done in a cot, dummies (when given straight away to a baby) create bad habits and interfere with a baby’s ability to learn self-settling. SLEEP, SETTLING AND RESETTLING “Allowing your baby to sleep in your arms is not a cop out. On the contrary, it instills a sense of security that makes them feel nurtured and ready for sleep”. Sleep, Settling and Resettling in the First Twelve Weeks Much of (Baby)’s first 3 months is spent establishing feeding and sleeping rhythms. His digestive system is still maturing and his sleep patterns are still evolving. In the first 12 weeks your aim is to teach (Baby), in a nurturing way, how to settle and find sleep unaided and how to stay asleep. How (Baby)’s sleep patterns evolve in the first 12 weeks will much depend on you and your household. Keep in mind that daytime rhythms will affect the night rhythms. This routine is repeated throughout the day and night. With time, the amount of assistance with settling should decrease and eventually (Baby) will learn how to self-settle. Once (Baby) learns how to settle and resettle, he will eventually be able to sleep anywhere. You can’t spoil a baby at this age; they need lots of nurturing and reassurance. Teaching good sleep habits requires TIME, ACCEPTANCE, CONSISTENCY and TRANQUILITY (TACT). Self-Settling I believe one of the most important skills that parents can teach babies is that of self-settling. It teaches babies how to gain control over their emotional state and this in turn leads to them developing their emotional backbone as they grow. It does not happen overnight and needs to be taught in a nurturing way. When you go to bed you read a book, meditate, watch TV, or chat with your partner – a baby can only do one thing and that is cry. There is nothing unhealthy about a baby crying before going to sleep. As a parent, it can be difficult to listen to but as long your baby is happy and contented generally, crying is just part of life. Remember you are not leaving him there to cry it out; you are leaving him there to give him the ability to find his own sleep. You will not get anywhere by leaving your baby to cry for hours. You will succeed quicker by giving him space and then helping him find his sleep. Self-settling is the key to establishing healthy sleep patterns. It gently teaches babies how to find sleep naturally, without the use of sleep aids, props or interference. It is that small window that occurs when (Baby) starts crying until the moment you intervene to help him find his sleep. This window initially may be for only a minute or two but as baby grows it increases until eventually he will be able to find sleep independently. It is a crucial step in Baby’s sleep development. Self-settling does NOT involve leaving your baby to cry it out alone to finally fall asleep due to stress and exhaustion. Resettling This is how to get (Baby) to sleep and to enable them to stay asleep. Resettling teaches babies how to progress from light to heavy sleep. This is essential to avoid the pitfalls of frequent waking and catnapping. In a sense, resettling is the second stage of teaching baby how to find sleep and does demand more time and patience than settling (TACT). Most babies stir or wake when progressing from light to heavy sleep and this occurs anywhere between 20-45 minutes. In the beginning the idea is not to let (Baby) wake fully during this transition; a sleepy baby is easier to resettle than a wide-awake, crying baby. However, as he grows you will need to step back and allow (Baby) the ability to try and resettle without any intervention. When you do this you will use your settling cycles. Generally a baby who does not learn how to resettle will have short sleep cycles and wake during the night without the ability to fall back asleep on his own. The aim of resettling is to ensure (Baby) sleeps for not less than 1½ hours per sleep rhythm. Resettling and Feeding Many mothers opt for feeding as a way to resettle their baby. This is an example of what appears to be the easy way becoming the more difficult option, as the result is a sleep-deprived baby who is more problematic to settle. More often than not the baby is not hungry but is instead seeking comfort through sucking. They are feeding for comfort, not hunger. So instead of feeding, try offering a dummy or finger. Settling in Arms or Cot Settling? Many mothers find settling in arms easier than cot settling and enjoy the contact and intimacy. I tend to refer to this as ‘attachment parenting’ or ‘4th trimester’. For some households cot settling is more practical. Whether you choose to settle your baby in your arms or in the cot, it is vital that all babies begin their sleep cycle by being placed in their cot while still awake. This gives them the opportunity to familiarize themselves with what will soon become their primary sleeping place. In the first 12 weeks, whichever you choose, it is important that when (Baby) cries you respond immediately. At this young age, do not let him cry himselfself to sleep alone. It is not healthy for a young baby. • Place (Baby) in his cot while still awake. • Leave the room – dump and run, and don't hover like a helicopter. • When (Baby) cries, respond immediately by going in to his room (this may be immediately or can take up to a minute) You then have the following options based upon whether you choose to settle your baby in your arms or in a cot: Settling in Arms Pick (Baby) up and remain calm while still allowing your body and mind to nurture your baby. Think of this as your body being their bed. Sit down in a quiet place and ‘ride the storm’. Initially, hold (Baby) in the Engulf Hold. There should be no rocking, cupping/patting, shushing, talking or eye contact. The following times are guidelines it will depend on how baby responds and your choices. Allow him to cry in your arms from 2 to 5 minutes; sometimes you may need to do it for longer. (Baby)’s cry may escalate for a few minutes then taper off or could stop and start like a car engine. Remember it is just his way of de-stressing and winding down. (Baby) may cry, then settle himselfself and fall asleep. If baby continues to cry then intervene with cupping and shushing, and if necessary offer a dummy. If (Baby) continues to cry then stop the cupping and shushing and allow him to cry for up to 5 minutes and then intervene with the cupping and shushing. You should repeat this until you can actually calm him down and help him find his sleep. The time frames given are only guidelines and in the beginning you will probably not do more than a minute – but over time you will increase the time frame as (Baby) grows. As (Baby) drifts off to sleep, replace the cupping and shushing with patting until he is asleep. Remember this is his ‘light’ sleep. Resettling in arms If (Baby) stirs, start cupping and shushing until he returns to sleep. It is possible that during the light sleep phase that (Baby) will alternate between sleep and stirring before eventually moving to a deep sleep cycle. Once asleep, switch to gentle patting and shushing. By now an hour may have passed. You may choose to let (Baby) sleep the entire nap in your arms. Alternatively you may transfer him to him cot once he has progressed from light to deep sleep. This takes approximately 1-¼ hours of holding your baby. If you choose to transfer (Baby) to his cot at this stage then continue to pat his bottom during the transition. Once baby is in the cot then place your other hand firmly on his chest, providing as much connection as possible. This is what I call “engulfing in the cot”. Slowly remove your hand from (Baby)’s chest and reduce your patting to the point that you eventually withdraw your hand to end up patting the air, then leave the room. If (Baby) wakes, repeat the process and stay with him until he returns to sleep. Settling Your (Baby) in the Cot Allow (Baby) to cry from 1 to 5 minutes depending on what you choose to do before intervening. Pick him up and burp him. Return baby to his cot and place your hand firmly on her /his chest. With your other hand start cupping and shushing. This is reassuring for your baby and establishes as much contact as possible without having to hold him. This is called engulfing in the cot. At this stage you can offer him a dummy as well. Continue cupping and shushing until baby falls asleep then gently roll him onto her back, continuing to pat with your hand on his chest. Once you sense that (Baby) is asleep, remove your hand from his chest and lighten the patting until eventually you can withdraw your hand, continuing to pat, as if patting the air. If (Baby) stays asleep, leave the room promptly and quietly. If, as you exit, (Baby) stirs or you hear him crying once you have left the room, return and repeat the process. If baby does not settle, you may choose to pick him up and settle in your arms (see above). Resettling in the cot In the beginning it is important to respond immediately when (Baby) begins to stir as it is easier to resettle a baby before he wakes too much. Eventually you will need to step back and allow him the ability to do this on his own. Respond by cupping and shushing until (Baby) falls asleep again, continuing to pat on his chest with your hand. Offer him a dummy as well. Once you sense that (Baby) is asleep, remove your hand from his chest and lighten the patting until eventually you can withdraw your hand, continuing to pat, as if patting the air. If (Baby) stays asleep, leave the room promptly and quietly. If, as you exit, (Baby) stirs or you hear herhim/ crying once you have left the room, return and repeat the process. If (Baby) does not settle, you may choose to pick him up and settle him in your arms (see above). Mixing it Up Some mothers find it easier to practice cot sleeping in the mornings when they have more energy and opt for settling their babies in their arms in the afternoon. Settling Cycle for babies under 12 weeks in a cot First Stage Cry 0 up to 5 minutes Comfort – cupping and shushing and patting and shushing. Offer a dummy and stay with (Baby) until he goes to sleep Next Stage Cry 0 to 5 minutes Comfort – cupping and shushing and patting and shushing. This is to reassure and not to put baby to sleep. Cry 1 to 5 minutes Comfort – cupping and shushing and patting and shushing. Offer a dummy and stay with baby until he goes to sleep. Getting Up When you go to pick (Baby) up from his cot whether it is after a nap or in the mornings, open up the room before picking baby up. This encourages baby to play or lie in his cot; he will also learn that when you walk into the room you are not going to pick him up straight away. I always chat to my babies when I go in, while opening up the room. I also use this time to put away clothes etc. This is a way of teaching (Baby) how to feel secure in his own space and your presence and soothing voice signals to him that he is safe without you having to scoop him up in your arms. Settling Your Baby after 12 weeks Twelve weeks marks the end of the 4th trimester and is an ideal time for most babies to begin spending the majority of their sleeping hours in a cot. This is often their first major step in recognising themselves as individuals who are separate from their mothers. It is especially important that this transition is carried out with consistency, tenderness and patience. This step I refer to as nurturing within boundaries. Note: The suggested routine above is only intended as a guide and should be used as such. Remember YOU are (Baby)’s mum so listen to your heart and your instincts. No, we don’t all do it by the book, or get it right the first time – you need to make ‘mistakes’ to get it right for you. It’s a time of learning a little person’s personality and figuring out what works for your home life. |
Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 28 February 2013 at 9:25pm
Hi the foods to be aware of are potatoes, avocados, banana, apple and carrot. I still tend to offer these foods (at lunch time) in a very small portion with others and increase over time to see if they are able to tolerate them. FOr silent reflux baby rice is another food to be aware of. With regard to the night feed, I would resettle when he wakes for a good 20 minutes before offering food. In my opinion babies over a certain age need their sleep. |
Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 28 February 2013 at 9:26pm
Hi yes, I have already posted it if you cant access it let me know and I will redo it. |
Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 28 February 2013 at 9:30pm
In my experience most babies need more sleep during the day than 40 minutes. I would be looking at his daytime routine and encouraging him to have two naps a day with a minimum of 1 1/2 hours per nap. If he wakes before this I would resettle. You don' mention whether you are breast or bottle feeding. i have just posted a routine with notes on settling and resettling earlier this evening, so take a look and see if this is what you are wanting.. |
Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 28 February 2013 at 9:41pm
Question is your baby 14 months or 14 weeks - On reading your question I am going to assume she is 14 weeks. If she is older than that please let me know. At 14 weeks i would be attempting to remove her from the zip-up love swaddle and allowing her the freedom of her arms. You may need to swaddle lightly in a muslin as a stepping stone and then into a sleeping bag that allows freedom of her arms- you can see the swaddle that I would recommend for this on my website. Her routine should look something like this wakes, feeds, plays, feeds(top Up), sleeping bag, into bed Her awake time will be anywhere from 1 1/2 hours to 2 hours and I tend to try and keep all the awake times roughly the same. The last wake time before going to bed at nighttime can be a little shorter as most babies are tired by the end of the day. Her grizzling at night is that she is overtired so it is important to teach her to resettle. Her last feed of the day should look like this wakes, feeds, bath, top up , bed for the night. SELF-SETTLING TOOLS • Engulf Hold • Cupping and patting • Shushing The ‘Engulf’ Hold As the name suggests, this hold provides as much body contact as possible giving your baby the sense of being completely contained as if in the womb. It positions your baby in such a way that you can initiate other settling techniques simultaneously. In addition, it also provides warmth, intimacy and the meditative beat of your heart. Most mothers/fathers prefer using their dominant arm to support the baby’s body from underneath. Choose whichever side feels most natural to you. Hold >>Baby<< so that her head is resting on the upper region of your non-dominant arm. For mothers, this ensures that their baby is not too close to the breast where she could be easily distracted by being close to their milk supply. Draw >>Baby<< in close so that you are pressed tummy to tummy with your baby’s face nestled just below the top of your shoulder. Your palm will be on your baby’s bottom with her legs tucked up into your body and supported as such by your forearm. With your non-dominant arm, reach around >>Baby<<’s shoulder and take hold of her arm to steady it, in other words to control the startle movement. For this technique to be effective, there should be no eye contact or communication between you and your baby. Allow your own body to do the nurturing. Patting and Cupping Patting or cupping your baby’s bottom or lower body mimics your baby’s heartbeat and reassures your baby of your presence. Patting is a rhythmic, firm and repetitive action done with your palm flat. Cupping is a stronger action and is done with a cupped palm, incorporating both cupping and a short but gentle thrust forward of Baby’s body. Both patting and cupping can be done in your arms or adapted for the cot. Shushing Shushing is a long, low sound, resembling air being released from a tyre. It should be loud enough so that >>Baby<< can hear it over her cry. It is thought that babies respond to shushing because it is similar to the sound that they experienced when in the womb. Dummies (optional) If you allow >>Baby<< to wind down before offering a dummy, it becomes a settling tool rather than a prop. Props Babies do not need to be rocked or walked around the block to encourage them to sleep. While movement may seem an obvious method to help soothe a baby to sleep, it becomes the hardest habit to break and interferes with self-settling. It is an unnecessarily labour-intensive approach that often delivers little reward. Instead, imagine that your body takes the place of the cot in which >>Baby<< will eventually sleep independently; it makes sense that you remain stationary when settling her. All props, including music, white noise, movement that cannot be done in a cot, dummies (when given straight away to a baby) create bad habits and interfere with a baby’s ability to learn self-settling. Giving a dummy as a comfort tool is different from plugging a baby when they first go to bed (prop). SLEEP, SETTLING AND RESETTLING Much of >>Baby<<’s first 3 months was spent establishing feeding and sleeping rhythms. Her digestive system is still maturing and her sleep patterns are still evolving. In the first 12 weeks your aim is to teach >>Baby<<, in a nurturing way, to settle and find sleep unaided and how to stay asleep. How >>Baby<<’s sleep patterns evolve in the first 12 weeks will have depended on you and your household. Keep in mind that daytime rhythms will affect the night rhythms. This routine is repeated throughout the day and night. With time, the amount of assistance with settling should decrease and eventually Baby will learn how to self-settle. Once >>Baby<< learns how to settle and resettle, she will eventually be able to sleep anywhere. You can’t spoil a baby at this age; they need lots of nurturing and reassurance. Teaching good sleep habits requires TIME, ACCEPTANCE, CONSISTENCY and TRANQUILITY (TACT) SLEEP CYCLES AND PATTERNS It takes a minimum of 10 days to see changes (i.e. you are just looking for a dim light at the end of the tunnel at this stage) and the circadian sleep cycle takes at least 3 weeks of consistency. The changes do not happen over night but will happen over time. Remember sleeping is a learned behavior. Self-Settling I believe one of the most important skills that parents can teach babies is that of self-settling. It teaches babies how to gain control over their emotional state and this in turn leads to them developing their emotional backbone as they grow. It does not happen overnight and needs to be taught in a nurturing way. When you go to bed you read a book, meditate, watch TV, or chat with your partner – a baby can only do one thing and that is cry. There is nothing unhealthy about a baby crying before going to sleep. As a parent, it can be difficult to listen to but as long your baby is happy and contented generally, crying is just part of life. Remember you are not leaving her there to cry it out; you are leaving her there to give her the ability to find her own sleep. You will not get anywhere by leaving your baby to cry for hours. You will succeed quicker by giving her space and then helping her find her sleep. Self-settling is the key to establishing healthy sleep patterns. It gently teaches babies how to find sleep naturally, without the use of sleep aids, props or interference. It is about allowing >>Baby<< the ability to find her/his own sleep unaided. By stepping back and doing this you are giving her/him the ability and her/his right to find her/his own sleep. It is that small window that occurs when >>Baby<< starts crying until the moment you intervene to help her find her sleep. This window initially may be for only a minute or two but as baby grows it increases until eventually she will be able to find sleep independently. It is a crucial step in Baby’s sleep development. Self-settling does NOT involve leaving your baby to cry it out alone to finally fall asleep due to stress and exhaustion. Settling Cycle Little steps will get you there quicker than taking big steps then finding you are not able to stick with it. I work on the principle that it takes most babies/toddlers 20 minutes to wind down before going to sleep and adjust this for each individual. When putting >>Baby<< to bed you should do what I call ‘dump and run” i.e. put >>Baby<< in her cot and walk away and “do not hover like a helicopter”. Walk out of the room and shut the door. Remember a dark room creates calmness and also signals time to go to sleep. Light is for playtime and dark is for sleeping. Any insecurity that you may feel in practicing this ‘dump and run’ technique can be alleviated by the use of baby monitors. A monitor with movement, sound and/or camera will provide you with confidence whilst allowing your baby to have a calm environment to have their naps and nighttime sleep. First Stage Leave to cry up to 5 minutes STOP THINK and ACT – the ACT may be to leave >>Baby<< for another 5 minutes OR • Provide comfort with cupping/shushing. Remember this is to reassure and should be shorter than the crying time. Then leave to cry up to 5 minutes, you may choose to do just 2 or 3 minutes here to begin with - STOP THINK and ACT • Provide comfort with cupping/shushing then patting and shushing. Stay in the room until >>Baby<< goes to sleep. At this stage if >>Baby<< does not go to sleep then you do have the option of picking her up and putting her to sleep in your arms (see engulfing notes). Second Stage Leave to cry for 10 minutes then STOP THINK and ACT- the ACT may be to leave her for another 5 minutes OR ➢ You may choose to do just 2 or 3 minutes here to begin with - STOP THINK and ACT Provide comfort with cupping/shushing then patting and shushing. Stay in the room until >>Baby<< goes to sleep. ➢ Provide comfort with cupping/shushing. Remember this is to reassure and should be shorter than the crying time. Leave to cry up to 5 minutes, - STOP THINK and ACT Provide comfort with cupping/shushing then patting and shushing. Stay in the room until >>Baby<< goes to sleep. Third Stage Leave to cry up to 15 minutes then STOP THINK and ACT – the ACT may be to leave her for another 5 minutes OR • Provide comfort with cupping/shushing then patting and shushing. Stay in the room until >>Baby<< goes to sleep. • Leave to cry up to 10 minutes, - STOP THINK and ACT Provide comfort with cupping/shushing then patting and shushing. Stay in the room until >>Baby<< goes to sleep. Fourth Stage Leave to cry up to 20 minutes STOP THINK and ACT • Provide comfort with cupping/shushing. Remember this is to reassure and should be shorter than the crying time. Leave to cry up to 10 minutes, - STOP, THINK and ACT Provide comfort with cupping/shushing then patting and shushing. Stay in the room until >>Baby<< goes to sleep. REMINDERS ON SETTLING You need to take small steps so depending on how you feel you can do the full cycle above or start with doing two lots of crying and at the end of the second cycle cup/pat/shush off to sleep. Always try and settle in >>Baby<< in her cot. It’s harder to resettle her if you take her out of the cot, but trust me there will be times that you will do this. Try not to use movement as a calming tool or to put >>Baby<< to sleep – this is the hardest habit to break. When comforting don’t talk or give >>Baby<< eye contact – both of these stimulate. Instead, you can use the shush noise and let your body talk to her. Also try and stand to the middle or bottom end of her body when comforting. Remember we all do end up giving eye contact it is human nature; however, try to avoid doing it as much as possible. You need to work within both your and >>Baby<<’s comfort zone. It is not about leaving her alone to cry until she is exhausted and goes to sleep, but it is about giving her space to find her sleep. The crying isn’t to be crying at the top of her lungs for this length of time. >>Baby<< may start out loud and slowly reduce and also stop and start. If the crying is constant at one level and goes for a long time then you need to reassure and see what is happening. The crying time does depend on the cry but try not to go in under the time frame that you are working with - nothing is set in stone but you do have to push the boundaries to get results. Do this settling up to 10 days – if it is not working then you need to reassess what you are doing. You may need to step back and allow her more time to find her sleep. Resettling This is how to get >>Baby<< to sleep and to enable her to stay asleep. Resettling teaches babies how to progress from light to heavy sleep. This is essential to avoid the pitfalls of frequent waking and catnapping. In a sense, resettling is the second stage of teaching baby how to find sleep and does demand more time and patience than settling (TACT). Most babies stir or wake when progressing from light to heavy sleep and this occurs anywhere between 20-45 minutes. In the beginning the idea is not to let >>Baby<< wake fully during this transition; a sleepy baby is easier to resettle than a wide-awake, crying baby. Resettling is not about calming them down or staying until they just start to drift off, it is about staying with your baby until they go into a deep sleep. However, as she grows you will need to step back and allow >>Baby<< the ability to try and resettle without any intervention. The aim of resettling is to ensure >>Baby<< sleeps for not less than 1½ hours per sleep rhythm. Your baby can also sleep longer than 1-½ hours – ideally 2 to 2 ½ hour naps are what you are working towards. Generally a baby who does not learn how to resettle will have short sleep cycles and wake during the night without the ability to fall back asleep on her own. RESETTLING SUGGESTED CYCLE First stage – you may choose to miss this stage and go onto the next stage. Respond immediately. To coax >>Baby<< into her deep sleep, place one hand over her chest (this is what I call ‘engulfing’ in the cot) and with the other hand begin the cupping action and then progress to gently patting and shushing her back to sleep. You can also turn >>Baby<< on her side facing away from you and then do the cupping action. Remove hand from chest and then pat lighter, ending up patting the air. If >>Baby<< does not change her sleep pattern then leave the room. If >>Baby<< wakes then you need to repeat the process and stay with her until she goes back into a deep sleep. Second stage Leave to cry up to 5 minutes Provide comfort by cupping/shushing then patting and shushing. Stay in the room until >>Baby<< goes to sleep. At this stage if she does not go to sleep then you do have the option of picking her up and putting her to sleep in your arms. Third stage Leave to cry up to 10 minutes Provide comfort with cupping/shushing then patting and shushing. At this stage stay in the room until Baby goes to sleep. Fourth stage Leave to cry up to 15minutes STOP THINK and ACT Provide comfort with cupping/shushing then patting and shushing. At this stage stay in the room until Baby goes to sleep. Comfort - two ways of doing this, you stay in the room until >>Baby<< goes into a deep sleep and then you leave OR you can attempt to calm her down then leave and give >>Baby<< an appropriate time to see if she will resettle. If >>Baby<< does not go back to sleep then you will need to stay with her until she goes into a deep sleep. Always try and settle in her cot. It’s harder to resettle if you take her out of the cot, but trust me there will be times that you do this. You can’t spoil a baby at this age; they need lots of nurturing and reassurance. Do this settling up to 10 days – if it’s not working then you need to reassess what you are doing. An example of resettling could be that your baby sleeps for 45 minutes wakes and it takes you another hour to coax them back into sleep and then they will sleep for another 45 minutes or less or sometimes more. Eventually over time your baby will not wake but continue to sleep through this wakeful period. Waking Up When >>Baby<< eventually wakes from sleeping, enter the room but avoid immediately picking her up. Instead reassure >>Baby<< with your voice, talking whilst opening the curtains. She will feel reassured with your presence. This process is a subtle way of teaching your baby that her crying doesn’t automatically lead to her being immediately picked up and therefore not to stress about it. It is a balance of letting >>Baby<< know you are there for her yet by not going straight to her, you are giving her a crucial opportunity to experience her own space and her own emotions, all the time knowing that you are coming to her. |
Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 28 February 2013 at 9:47pm
With regard to Millet that should be fine - it can make babies poo more often though so I find this is a good cereal for babies who are not good pooers. It is only the silent reflux babies that baby rice can cause a reaction, normal reflux babies are fine with rice cereal. I build up to three meals a day to suit the baby. SO if she is managing and you think its time to go to the next meal then go for it. My first meal is either breakfast or dinner, so then I bring in the opposite to what I started with and then finally lunch. Lunch is when I introduce vegetables. Travelling When travelling with your baby the first day of travel is always the hardest as you are having to take into account the time changes. I tend to mix and match on this day – sometimes they get an extra feed one way and the other way they may lose a feed – it all balances out in the end. I try and put them to bed as close to the new time change as possible and when they wake up in the morning I go straight into the new time zone. When doing this it is important to remember what the old time zone was so for the first couple of days they may need to be encouraged to eat well during the day. Packing for long haul flight for baby Work out door to door time frame and then double supplies so for this flight lets say it is 36 hours so I would take enough supplies for 72 hours. It is hard for me to work out how many outfits you should take as I am not sure how often you change your baby, but the goal would be to change only if necessary and avoid being too fussy as this will make your baby irritable. Take two bags – only necessary for long haul travel One wheel on (this will carry all the excess and you will reload nappy bag at the destinations that you stop at) Nappy Bag Everything is to be zip locked - reasons easier to get through check outs and also saves anything leaking in bag. Hand gel Nappy sacks (fold and put into zip lock bag) Baby Wipes 1 packet (again use the ones that have a lid that you pull the wipes out and then can close) Bottom creams – small pot of vaseline, tube of paw paw, tube of zinc and caster, tube of bepanthen (you may not use any of these but it is a good idea to have a mixture of creams just in case her bottom flares up while fly 10 nappies 4 disposable change mats Saline nasal drops Pamol Nurofen Dummies – zip lock I would take approx 6 as they tend to drop on floor etc. I just put the dirty ones loose into the bag as I go. 3 burb cloths (they will bulk up the bag) + one that you will be carrying with u 6 bibs (if you use them) Clothes In each zip lock bag pack the following - I would tend to have 3 sets in the nappy bag 1 cotton undershirt 1 outfit (I tend to travel in baby grows (with feet) – 100% cotton. 1 cardigan 1 hat Additional 2 large muslins 1 cotton pram blanket Wheel on bag All the stuff in the wheel on will be replacements for the nappy bag and it is a good idea to always have a spare of products that you are going to use a lot hand gel Nappy sacks (buy the ones in the packet that you pull through the lid) 1 packet of nappies (maximum you will use for the whole trip will be 48 nappies – working out 16 nappies per 24 hours 2 packets of disposable change mats In each zip lock bag pack the following - I would tend to have up to 6 sets 1 cotton undershirt 1 outfit (I tend to travel in baby grows (with feet) – 100% cotton. 1 cardigan 1 hat 4 large muslins (120 x 120) 2 small cotton blankets 6 burb cloths (you will not be able to carry enough for the trip so just use sparingly) 6 dummies (in zip lock bag) If you are using bibs then take 6 extra If you want pack your baby carrier – I find that they are more of a pain for travelling Note I have suggested all cotton products as planes are very hot and it is important your baby does not cook on the plane. Clothes I tend to use are the baby grows with the snaps down the front easy to take off and put on and again 100% cotton. Burb cloths and bibs – bulky but necessary. On the aircraft I either use one of the blankets or airplane blankets and make a roof over the bed area where your baby will be sleeping. Going through the airport Use stroller – so much easier and also you have somewhere to hang the lighter bags but remember if you do this do not let go of the handle of the buggy as it will tip over. I find the baby carriers are more of a pain as when you are going through check points they make you remove the baby whereas if the baby is asleep in the stroller they just wand it. Hand Luggage I would advise keep to a minimum and have your hands free. I tend not to use handbags etc when travelling with a baby as it is just another piece of luggage that gets in the way. I would suggest you both share one hand luggage and then have two for your baby. With using zip lock bags you just take the clean clothes out and put the dirty ones into the bag – keeps everything contained. |
Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 28 February 2013 at 9:49pm
Hi at 18 months to teach her to sleep through noise is quite hard, however I would keep her in her bed for her full nap time and hopefully encouraging her to rest will then inturn teach her to sleep longer. There is no easy answer for this one except to keep working at it. |
Posted By: MummyM
Date Posted: 01 March 2013 at 11:02pm
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Hey Dorothy, I just wanted to say Thanks. I've been giving my 8month old baby rice mixed with a small amount of veges for dinner since Monday and I have had 12hr night sleeps out of him all week. Hopefully we are onto a good thing! I found the session really good and got some awesome tips out of it that are making a difference already. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 02 March 2013 at 3:26pm
Hi please bear with me as I do not know how to attach pdf files to the forum. If you would like please email me at dorothy@babyhelp.co.nz and ask for this - dont forget to mention you are off the forum thanks |
Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 02 March 2013 at 3:28pm
Thats awesome well done - |
Posted By: DorothyW
Date Posted: 02 March 2013 at 3:33pm
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Hi Ladies Thank you for all your questions and hopefully the answers will help you. It was lovely to meet you all at the OHBaby Coffee Catchup. Remember before you do anything STOP, THINK, and ACT – work out what you are doing, why you are doing, and what you are trying to accomplish and then act. Remember YOU are the baby’s mum and so listen to your heart and instinct. Yes, we all don’t do it by the book, or get it right the first time, but you need to make ‘mistakes’ to get it right for you. It’s a time of learning a little person’s personality and figuring out what works for your home life. If you have the time I would love to see you pop over to http://www.facebook.com/BabyWithin and 'like' it. You can then keep up with information that I post from time to time or hear from other mothers who write on the wall. Please remember as a parent or carer that you should understand and acknowledge that Dorothy is NOT a licensed medical doctor or other licensed medical provider and the information that I share with you has come from experience and working with numerous families and babies and toddlers If you do require any further support please check out my packages on my website. Dorothy |