Telling People
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=43004
Printed Date: 30 June 2025 at 11:59am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.10 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Telling People
Posted By: Mrs Mac
Subject: Telling People
Date Posted: 26 January 2013 at 9:05pm
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On Tuesday (today is Saturday) I miscarried my second baby at 7 weeks 3 days. On Monday we had a dating scan where we saw a beautiful little baby with a strong heartbeat. After the scan we told our parents, who were thrilled. It was a complete shock when I started bleeding and cramping on Tuesday afternoon. It felt dreadful telling our parents that we lost the baby (especially so soon just after we told them we were pregnant), but they were wonderful. Also, I'm the kind of person who needs the support of her friends when something like this happens. Since then I've told a few close friends what happened, even though they didn't know we were pregnant. I was just thinking we have such a weird culture around miscarriage. Most women I know don't tell people they're pregnant until after the 12 week scan "just in case we miscarry." We didn't tell anyone until after our dating scan at 7 weeks "just in case we miscarry," but when we actually miscarried I needed the support of friends and family so I told them anyway. I think next time I'll be telling them when we get a BFP. I won't be publishing it on Facebook or anything like that, I just think that our close family and friends are such a wonderful support, if I'm going to call on them if I miscarry then there's no reason not to tell them straight away, so they can share in the joy of discovering the pregnancy too. -------------    Jan '13
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Replies:
Posted By: Milinda104410
Date Posted: 26 January 2013 at 9:16pm
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Hi Mrs Mac, So sorry to hear of your loss, we have had 3 MC now and support of family and close friends is a must to get me through also. Hope your third time lucky Best wishes |
Posted By: Mrs Mac
Date Posted: 26 January 2013 at 9:30pm
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Thanks Milinda, 1 MC is bad, 3 must be really hard! Best of luck to you too! ------------- Jan '13
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Posted By: Pitter patter
Date Posted: 27 January 2013 at 6:45pm
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Mrs Mac and Melinda so sorry to hear about your losses. I agree with you Mrs Mac considering 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage most of us to not know how common they are or what happens when you miscarry because no one talks about it. Next time I get pregnant I am going to tell those that I told and were supportive after the miscariage when I get a bfp, I know they will be the ones I would need (along with the forum girls on oh baby) if it happened again. Mrs Mac there are lots of us on here that have had miscariages so know what you are going through. I wish I'd taken some multivitemens after mine as i didn't realise how hard it was on my body until later. I did take time to rest and grieve which I am glad about. Hugs to you at this hard time  -------------  TTC number 2 since April 2011 MC Nov 12 Formally Mamma2one |
Posted By: LG
Date Posted: 02 February 2013 at 9:20pm
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After having a m/c in August when i hadnt told people we were pregnant, i decided next time we got pregnant i would tell our families and a few friends straight away. I found it hideous telling people i needed help after m/c when they didnt know i was pregnant in the first place. Ive had 2 people put something on FB after having a m/c when they hadnt announced their pregnancy yet. Both of them got so many comments from people who had had m/c saying they wished they had told people. Personally i wouldnt do that but am probably going to put something on for our due date because its a date we've both been counting down too (sorry, slightly off topic) -------------  Angel Baby Aug '12, Feb '13 |