HELP DD wont feed, eat or sleep properly
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Topic: HELP DD wont feed, eat or sleep properly
Posted By: BikeBaby
Subject: HELP DD wont feed, eat or sleep properly
Date Posted: 03 May 2012 at 8:52pm
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Hi can anyone help me before I completely lose the plot!
We had the MIL come to stay for a month in March and DD (9m) got unsettled then and wasn't doing great with her last day nap and was waking at about 5am, I would feed her and she would go back to sleep until 8am so not much drama. Towards the end of the stay she would start waking earlier in the night and then earlier in the morning. Two weeks ago she got a virus and was quite ill so she was held and was BF every couple of hours to keep fluids up (as told by hospital) for two nights. Now she is waking practically every hour at night, not feeding properly at night or during the day (today she went from 8am - 7.30pm before she had another feed). It's almost like it is too much hard work for her and she gives up. I wouldn't be so worried as she is on solids but she wont drink anything apart from breast milk, from me, and she's not eating as much as she used too and sometimes nothing at all at a mealtime. I am pretty sure she isn't teething but we are giving her pamol each night to get her settled. If I go in and pick her up she gets all wriggly so I can't even cuddle her back to sleep. If I leave she just screams and she also screams if DH goes in ... I haven't slept for 3 nights now and need help please! I have so many theories but no idea what it is, I don't really know how to cope with this either as she has been able to self settle from very early, she was always put to bed awake and by 8 weeks could self settle. I have put a lot of hard work in and made a lot of decisions based on the whole "start as you mean to go on" theory and I don't want to instill bad habits but I also worry that she does actually need me and I don't like to let her cry, her crying to me is her telling me something is wrong and she isn't normally a crying baby. Any ideas on what might be wrong or how to handle this would be great! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 03 May 2012 at 9:01pm
| I would get her checked out by the Dr again. Could still be something going one, or something new. Something is obvoiusly stopping her from sleeping deeply. |
Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 03 May 2012 at 9:08pm
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Hugs hun that sounds tough. I have been there a few times with similar situations with my boys, but it is hard to remember what we did. If you haven't had sleep for 3 nights though that is really stretching you to the point where you probably can't think it through anyway. My advice would be that you need to get some sleep and let DH deal with her night wakings for a night or 2. It might take him longer to calm her down but he will get there.
Is there any other way you can resettle her without feeding? It would be better to have fewer, bigger feeds and preferably during the day. If you could resettle her and her only have 1-2 night feeds (dh could bring her to you and away) then maybe she would take more during the day. I would offer lots of food and water as well during the day. The good thing with babies is that they do grow out of every phase, and if it has only been a short time and she was an easy baby prior it should be easy enough to get her back on track. You just don't have the headspace to do it when you are sleep deprived. Don't know if any of that made sense or will help, but good luck, and hope you get some sleep soon. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 09 May 2012 at 11:55am
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Is there someone you trust to take her for you? To be honest sounds like your wee bub has got into the habit of having mummy give her room service and lots of extra attention, which of course isnt a bad thing to love, but mummy needs some attention too.
Do get her checked out first , to rule out any issues. Are you using white noise? I think you may need to introduce an entirely new settling technique and a bit of tough love mumma, but obviuosly thats near impossible while your tired and probably emotional and exhausted physically too. When my first born was in hosptial at 6 months she got intot he habit of being fed and woken three hourly, and so when we got her home it was beyond a joke, I was knackered. Daddy took over the sleep job and gave her controlled crying to sleep for 3 days and she was a different baby. If this isnt your thing then dont do it, but having someone else take over that job so bubba isnt pulling heart strings because she knows she can may make all the difference. These little people are very clever, and while some say crying increases cortisol levels etc, so can lack sleep nutrition. Once she isnt so tired irritable and over stimulated her eating will probably fall back into place. Not everyones baby is the same, but it sounds to me like your bub will appreciate more routine,as will her mumma Good luck hun ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
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Posted By: Hibiscus
Date Posted: 09 May 2012 at 2:16pm
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Here's another approach (of course you will choose what suits you best):
1) Definitely get her checked out to make sure he doesn't have an ear infection or similar. 2) Forget all your earlier rules. Try this approach: ' she's not right, what we are doing doesn't work, so we have to try something different'. Have you tried taking her in your bed with you (co sleeping) and let her feed whenever she needs it during the night while she goes through this phase? It would reassure her and you could get some rest (hopefully sleep) until she is better. It does not necessarily mean that you are undoing all your hard work of teaching her to self settle. Just think of the here and now and that is that she is not well. She is going through a phase where she needs extra reassurance (google attachment parenting), it might be a developmental phase or a growth spurt or she might be dealing with changes in the family dynamics (MIL visit) or similar. She definitely needs YOU now and I would make sure that you are there for her. You will get through this. I know it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you are in the situation, but as crafty said, it might reassure you to know that everything is just a phase and this one will pass too. Controlled crying wasn't anything we could do and I feared that our babies ( I have twins) would sleep in our bed forever when I took them in our bed whenever they were going through a difficult phase, but at 22 months they are wonderfully attached and sleep happily in their own beds most of the time (not always, but we love the snuggles and the time where they will be too grown up for snuggles will come too soon). 8 months was a difficult phase for us too sleep wise, and I should also say they have always slept in their own beds as well as co sleeping (I guess it's co sleeping on demand) - don't worry, it didn't take til they were 22 months to sleep by themselves! 3) Nap whenever she does during the day. ------------- Mum to 3 girls: identical twins and with a 3 year gap another girl. |
Posted By: BikeBaby
Date Posted: 10 May 2012 at 9:32am
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Hi Ladies, thanks for all your advice We seem to be getting somewhere ... I have stayed at home for a week and not had anyone in our house apart from me and hubby and tried to get her back into routine and it seems to have worked. She is still waking at about 3am for a feed but then goes straight back down so easy compared to what we had! I also made sure I gave her lots of attention and cuddles while she was up so by time I put her to bed she was all cuddled out! I also took more time putting her down for her naps (two stories instead of one). I know she thrives on routine and is quite a quite placid baby so this has really worked for us ... now I just have to prepare for the sister-in-law and family who are coming to stay for 3 weeks!!! I'm preparing myself to do it all again when they leave but at least I know what to expect and with all your tips should be easier :)
PS Did get her checked out by doc and all okay :) Thanks again for all your wonderful suggestions and the sympathy and encouragement was nice too :) ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Hibiscus
Date Posted: 10 May 2012 at 7:48pm
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hi, i'm glad you managed to get back on track and thanks for letting us know. It can be very overwhelming when not knowing what to do in a particular situation.
Perhaps explain to your relies ahead of their arrival what happened with the last visitors so they take their time with getting close and involved with DD. Perhaps letting her watch from a safe distance and only being held/handled by you an DH for a couple of days could help so DD feels reassured that all is ok while there are strangers in he house. ------------- Mum to 3 girls: identical twins and with a 3 year gap another girl. |