Feeling overwhelmed with the changes
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=41959
Printed Date: 26 August 2025 at 6:34am
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Topic: Feeling overwhelmed with the changes
Posted By: First Timer
Subject: Feeling overwhelmed with the changes
Date Posted: 27 April 2012 at 2:31pm
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Firstly, I am excited and happy to be pregnant. It was unexpected (very) but my partner and I sat down and weighed up all the options that we had and then looked at the "cost", for want of a better term, each option would place on us personally, emotionally and relationally. We decided together that we were unexpectedly ready and willing to take this next phase on with full gusto...
I am in a relationship that is loving, caring and supportive. I feel very blessed. But I am feeling overwhelmed and scared. I have never been someone who has been out of control of my emotions, career, home or body, but I am feeling like I am now. Even though I am only 13 weeks pregnant, I am finding my job very challenging. Normally I am someone who would just put more grunt in to it and carry on to show myself I can do it, but with being pregnant, I can no longer do this. I work as a chef in a very busy, hot, stressful establishment. I work at nights mostly and this is when I feel my worst. Today I am going in to resign. I feel guttered, but I can't continue on for much longer there as it's too much. I feel like I have been defeated.... Is this normal??? Feeling overwhelmed.... |
Replies:
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 27 April 2012 at 2:38pm
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Tottlay normal hun you have to do what, is right for you.
take this time to enjoy yorself sleepin eat what you want ect ect and be kind to yourself  ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Danda08
Date Posted: 27 April 2012 at 3:22pm
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Could you reduce your shifts or swap to different shifts and see how that goes for a bit and then if still not working out resign? Might help you not feel so defeated...?
Congratulations , it's such an exciting time but I can imagine an unplanned pregnancy is overwhelming (finding out I was having twins was a bit like that).
Pregnancy and a baby will mean so many changes in your life so this is just the start. My best advice is embrace it. I'm a complete control freak, super clean, super tidy etc but have just had to let go of those things a bit so I don't drive myself bonkers and so I can enjoy my girls (and they can enjoy being kids). ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: pumpkino
Date Posted: 27 April 2012 at 4:20pm
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Totally understand where you're coming from - and for that reason I wonder whether this is the right time to make such a big decision? I am not myself when I'm pregnant and have often wanted to do things like quit my job but have always made myself wait and give it another week or so - you just never know.
Also there may be other options as Danda08 says. Can't tell from your post whether you have told work about the pregnancy yet (as you're only 13 weeks you may not have) but if you haven't, you might find that they'll be really understanding when you do. Also quitting your job might have other consequences eg on your financial situation re parental leave depending on other factors, so I would urge you to sleep on it rather than making such a big decision when you're feeling so sh*tty. The first trimester is always hard because you feel so tired and sick but you are just entering the second and things might get better soon. Good luck with whatever you decide, at the end of the day you have to do what's right for you. |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 27 April 2012 at 9:57pm
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It's so hard, that first trimester. It generally gets easier though. Some people feel like crap the whole way through, but I found by about 18 weeks, I was pretty much Ok from there on in (until I was over it at the end obviously).
Could you reduce your hours? Your work would hopefully be accommodating if they can get someone to increase hours or if they can hire a part timer. If you don't need the money, I guess then you have a great holiday until bubs is born! I feel for you though. |
Posted By: First Timer
Date Posted: 28 April 2012 at 8:49am
| Thanks guys for your support and reply's. They were so good to come home and read. I have an office job to go to, so financially it will work out ok. My works busiest time is in 2 months and realistically I will not be able to keep up in 8 weeks time, so to be fair to them I have resigned, with an undisclosed notice period. I can work until they find someone suitable to replace me. There is no immediate rush for them except training time. I have told them I am pregnant, and the first response was "are you sure you can continue doing this" as I had to take some time off because I was bleeding and needed to rest. Chefing is a very challenging, physical job where it is not uncommon to be on your feet, in a rush for up to 10 hours at a stretch. I cant just take a little break when I need to as it's normally during a busy service. I have calmed myself today and feeling better. I think that the choice I have made to resign is the right one for me and them. In the future I would like to go back maybe part time once baby is here as i do have a passion for the job.... wanted to leave on good terms rather than them having to come to me to say stop in 2 months and leave them in the lurch. |
Posted By: KcP
Date Posted: 28 April 2012 at 4:37pm
As a person who spent years working in hospitality 9and not even as a chef!) i can understand the working conditions.. One of the things that I thank my lucky stars about is I dont work so for me there are no work pressures.. And its a good thing because im finding being pregnant really difficult. Its not that ive had any problems, but im diabetic and managing my sugars would be hellish if I was working as well.. I applaud your desicison  Good for you!------------- Small family of three TTC #1 4 years http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: pumpkino
Date Posted: 28 April 2012 at 5:54pm
| Great that your current work is being supportive and that you already have something else lined up that won't be so frantic. Sounds like everything is going to work out fine, yay! |