Ballet Boy
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=41590
Printed Date: 26 August 2025 at 9:59am
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Topic: Ballet Boy
Posted By: Mattsmum
Subject: Ballet Boy
Date Posted: 17 February 2012 at 10:06pm
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My 3 1/2 year old has been dancing around our house for months, he loves walking on his toes and often says he is doing ballet. I enrolled him in a preschool ballet class starting this term. The first week he loved it, so I got him some ballet gear (black) he was so excited until he got to class and saw all the girls in their pink ballet things and felt very different. He now only wants to do ballet if he gets to wear pink. What would you do?
I'm sure its not a cross dressing thing, just a want to be the same as his classmates thing. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Replies:
Posted By: pudgy
Date Posted: 17 February 2012 at 10:21pm
I'd get him some pink stuff  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 18 February 2012 at 2:10am
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Me too -------------   
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Posted By: UpsyDaisy
Date Posted: 18 February 2012 at 7:51am
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A bit off your topic but I really don't like how pink is so genderfied. Thats what made you say is not a 'cross dressing thing' but it shouldn't matter what colour we wear and hes only 3 1/2! 100 years ago pink was a boy colour - watered down version of red (for valour). I would let him wear whatever he wants. PS I love that he loves dancing so much and that you are letting him do what he wants |
Posted By: Mattsmum
Date Posted: 18 February 2012 at 9:03am
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Yeah its a shame pink has become such a girl thing.
I'm just nervous about the other parent's reactions if he wears pink I guess. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mummymonster
Date Posted: 18 February 2012 at 9:33am
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we were out and my 2 1/2 yr old had a "girl" toy, a stranger boy (about 6yr) came over and told him not to play with it because it was pink!
It's amazing we've got a society in which half of them are scared of a colour. let him wear pink, he's 3 1/2 - let him play ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Aroha11
Date Posted: 18 February 2012 at 9:40am
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Let him wear pink - it would be a shame to have him stop something he loves over a colour. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Herewegoagain
Date Posted: 18 February 2012 at 10:50am
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I agree with everyone and pink was originally a boys colour and seems to still be in fashion for some men who wear shirts and ties in the colour ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
+ My big school boy (6) |
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 18 February 2012 at 11:30am
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Well, we're probably a good cross-section of 'other parents', and everyone here seems to agree that pink's fine... so hopefully they'll feel the same way -------------
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 18 February 2012 at 11:48am
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Talk to the teacher about it, see what she says. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: UpsyDaisy
Date Posted: 18 February 2012 at 1:14pm
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I think talking to the teacher is a good idea too, thinking why didn't I think of that! Obviously she will have taught other boys and come across this issue before. I can understand you wondering about what the other parents think but everyone who has commented here thinks its fine and really I would think the parents rather odd if they have a problem with a 3 1/2 year old boy in pink? |
Posted By: Mattsmum
Date Posted: 18 February 2012 at 1:14pm
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The teacher gave him a pink cardi out of the lost property box. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 18 February 2012 at 9:54pm
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To be honest I don't know what I'd do. I don't think I'd like my boy dressed in girls ballet gear but perhaps a pink cardi or slippers or something would be ok but honestly, I don't think I would, my husband would not like it at all. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Mattsmum
Date Posted: 18 February 2012 at 10:21pm
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We are working on building up the idea that he is special because he is a boy who wants to dance, black is great, he will learn to do great jumps etc. If he sticks with ballet we might let him have a pair of pink shoes or something but it is really just so he feels like he belongs. I wish I knew another boy that would be keen on coming with him. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Stoked
Date Posted: 19 February 2012 at 7:10am
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Does the ballet teacher have some older boys that your DS might be able to come watch at some stage? He might be more comfortable if he see's the "Big Boys" wearing colours other than pink? (Not that I have a problem with little boys wearing pink, I just imagine that you'd rather not spend more money when you've already bought him ballet gear!) ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 19 February 2012 at 8:17am
| HEaps of the girls in DD's class wear black. I agree about asking the teacher if there are older boys he can watch- I know there are a couple of boys about 7yrs old at DD's ballet school! |
Posted By: LG
Date Posted: 19 February 2012 at 7:02pm
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DD1s ballet uniform is blue so it works out okay for the boy in her class. I think its great too that hes doing ballet and enjoying it, the mum in our class said everyone told her not to bring her boy because it 'wasnt for boys' which is stupid! -------------  Angel Baby Aug '12, Feb '13 |
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 20 February 2012 at 9:41am
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i would let him some pink stuff, kids are kids they dont like to feel different from the rest which in this case is hes the only one not wearing pink, i think its fantastic he loves ballet!
a friend of mines son does ballet he is 10 now and started when he was 4 she let him wear pink for a while and then he decided to wear black after a few months ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 20 February 2012 at 8:12pm
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I teach preschool dancing and I'm going to go against the grain and say don't put him in pink. Because as he goes forward in dancing if he does, then he won't be wearing pink, it's just not the done thing really and I can guarantee you wouldn't get the reaction you'd like from dancing mothers. Some, not all, can be real perfectionists and want everything to be just right and how they expect... perhaps you could get him a t-shirt or something with pink in it, or pink ballet shoes, so he has some element of pink to wear? And also talk to the teacher about ways to encourage him in the class so he doesn't feel too different and feels included no matter what he is wearing? As that is the teacher's job at the end of the day. As much as there shouldn't be gender colours, in my view the fact remains there are, and ideas that go along with them.... and a boy wearing pink at dancing does reinforce certain stereotypes about boys and dancing that you really don't want to buy into nor give other people opportunities to buy into. Im not saying it's right, I'm just saying thats how it is and the dancing world can be pretty superficial sometimes ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 20 February 2012 at 8:15pm
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The kids in my class wear all colours and outfits, fairy wings etc if they want to, is it possible for him to put together an outfit he likes to wear? ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Mattsmum
Date Posted: 22 February 2012 at 11:28am
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I've made him some pink shorts, so we will see how he goes today. All of the girls are in traditional leotards with we skirts, so we will leave him in his black with the shorts over the top. I don't really want him to wear a pink ballet cardi.
This week the parent's aren't in the room so it might be different anyway. I am hoping he will only want the shorts for a couple of weeks, then we might go and pick some different shorts that he will be happy with. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 23 February 2012 at 8:16pm
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TBH i would let him wear the whole shebang.
I wish i knew how to post pics, i have some super cute pics of my 3.5 yo boy wearing the whole ballet costume - pink tights, shoes, leotard, skirt and cardi. He loves dressing up in it and jumping on the bed or the tramp. If you want to borrow a costume for him to try you are welcome to borrow one of ours - we have 2 sets. I honestly don't see it as an issue at all, boys wearing whatever colours/dress ups they like. What are people worried about? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 25 February 2012 at 6:27am
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Gosh yes, agree Crafty1! Boys clothes and costumes are so BORING, why shouldn't they get to dress up in cool stuff like girls. Not every boy wants to be blimmin spiderman.
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 Oct 11
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Posted By: rorylex
Date Posted: 25 February 2012 at 6:31pm
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i would have got a pink sash our something to tie around his waist. i always remember our dance classes being quite strict on what we could wear and that included the boys. but he is 3.5yrs not 6yrs so may not be as strict. ------------- Mummy to 4 boys Samuel - 18.6.05 Rory - 15.7.06 Mason - 13.06.08 Emmett - 24.01.10 Baby #5 - cooking |
Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 25 February 2012 at 7:51pm
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I'm just saying not everyone is that open minded and dancing schools especially can be quite formal and there is a lot of focus on how you present yourself, even when you are little... there's toddler fun dancing kind of thing then there's ballet and what they wear for each is obviously different. I'm just telling you honestly from my experience growing up in the dancing world, not trying to be harsh. Not saying I agree with it just saying most places it would be like that ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 25 February 2012 at 9:00pm
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Totally know what u saying WJ. When we first started DD at ballet the teacher said- oh just wear bike pants and a t-shirt and barefeet- we went like that and she was the only kid not wearing full ballet gear- leotard, tights, skirt and shoes! She did her first exam in Aug last year- age 4 and I was suprised how precise there costume, hair etc had to be- very formal indeed!
Would be cool as if no-one judged but they do- I got some mighty funny looks the other day with DS-2yrs in the supermarket cos he was wearing pink sparkly hairclips- I have no prob with it- he just wanted his hair done like his sister! |
Posted By: pudgy
Date Posted: 25 February 2012 at 9:05pm
Cute ! We got loads of funny looks when I painted Lewies finger and toe nails, he loved it and just wanted to be like his sister He wears pink socks/singlets/pjs too lol------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Kellz wrote:Posted By: Mattsmum
Date Posted: 29 February 2012 at 8:34pm
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It is sad how quickly we expect them to conform to social norms. My boy is just dancing in his normal clothes with his ballet gear underneath, they are happy with that for now. I just want him to have fun and the courage of his convictions to do the things he wants as he grows up.
------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 02 March 2012 at 10:42pm
Agree...it gets quite formal quite fast. My just gone 5 y/o is in her second year now, last year was pre-school and she could go in whatever, wings, barefeet etc, this year she isn't allowed in the studio unles she has the proper shoes minimum...the end of year production was a real eyeopener for me, very intense and they had high expectations from the kids..I had doubts about doing it again, and thought about changing schools but she really really enjoyed it and asked every day almost in the holidays when she could go back, so yeah....Anyhow, I digress...I think it's awesome he's doing it and enjoying it, just be aware that "stage mums" are a whole other breed....(but they love love love wee boys dancing!)  ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Mattsmum
Date Posted: 03 March 2012 at 10:11pm
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Thanks for the comments, I was surprised at how quickly everyone was serious, how it seemed accepted to pay $50 for ballet shoes etc - they are 3! Parents weren't even allowed to watch after the second lesson. DS is loving it though so we will keep it up for now.
------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 04 March 2012 at 8:50am
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I reckon it's awesome he's dancing :) I'm an ece teacher, and while I fully agree with what the dancing teacher said, I do have a wee 3yr old boy in my class who goes to Ballet in pink and adores it. She's a very confident mum though, in a small community, not sure anyone would mess with her -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: Febgirl
Date Posted: 05 March 2012 at 8:22pm
I only just clicked there is a boy in DD's ballet class - she's 4 and they have a uniform and it was only at the 3rd class I noticed one of the kids had on black pants and shoes instead of pink - I looked closer and it was a boy, I had thought it was a girl with short hair.  He wears a pink top and skirt over the black pants and a pink hairband, DD's ballet school is quite strict with the uniform so they obviously don't mind. I'm not sure why you'd care what the other parents think, I personally thought good on him and his mum, and not worrying that it wasn't the "usual" thing for a boy to do. ------------- Two little girls under 2! 
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Posted By: Febgirl
Date Posted: 05 March 2012 at 8:25pm
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I only just clicked there is a boy in DD's ballet class - she's 4 and they have a uniform and it was only at the 3rd class I noticed one of the kids had on black pants and shoes instead of pink - I looked closer and it was a boy, I had thought it was a girl with short hair. He wears a pink top and skirt over the black pants and a pink hairband, DD's ballet school is quite strict with the uniform so they obviously don't mind. I'm not sure why you'd care what the other parents think, I personally thought good on him and his mum, and not worrying that it wasn't the "usual" thing for a boy to do. ------------- Two little girls under 2!
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