Just want to say that miscarriages really
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=41194
Printed Date: 24 June 2025 at 8:10pm
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Topic: Just want to say that miscarriages really
Posted By: _Deb_
Subject: Just want to say that miscarriages really
Date Posted: 18 December 2011 at 12:34pm
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SUCK. Should have been 11 weeks 5 days today but found out on Friday that the baby stopped growing around 6 weeks. Spent nearly 3 hours at Middlemore on Friday evening being poked and prodded and have to go and see the Early Pregnancy clinic next week. I just want it to be over. I've had a little bit of spotting and some cramping and back ache. I was hoping it would all be over by Christmas but i doubt it will be.
My partner only started his new job in September so isn't entitled to paid leave yet and he's the only that can take me to appointments and look after the kids. So we have money to worry about too. What a sh*t time of year for this to happen. I don't normally share personal things online but everything is getting too much at the moment so wanted to get it off my chest. Just feel like crying all the time.   ------------- 
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Replies:
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 18 December 2011 at 1:13pm
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Huge hugs, I hope it helped getting it off your chest. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 18 December 2011 at 5:32pm
 to you Deb!
Sorry to hear you are going through this. It does really suck!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: _Deb_
Date Posted: 18 December 2011 at 10:40pm
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Thanks ladies. Just finding it really hard at the moment. I think it's really sinking in now that i won't have a baby to hold in July. I just want it all to be over so i can move on. One minute i'm ok then it suddenly hits me. I was still getting all the pregnancy symptoms and was so close to 12 weeks. We had planned on telling our families for Christmas.
I think i'm going to tell the clinic that i want a D & C. Apparently they don't like to them though and would rather wait for it to happen naturally or give the pills. But i'm finding the waiting too hard and i'm a little scared of what might happen if i went with either of those two options. At least my partners boss has said he can probably take a paid day off. -------------
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Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 19 December 2011 at 10:54am
They suck alright, what a crappy time for you, I'm so sorry  ------------- 
Oct 11
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 19 December 2011 at 11:04am
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Hugs. Sorry u going through this. I would totally tell the clinic all of the above- about your feelings, DH's job, having to look after 2 other kids etc, because yes they do prefer natural of vaginal misoprostol over d&c, but both those methods can take ages. D&C will be over much quicker for u. D&C is surgery so offers more risk- but all tof the products of conception will be removed in one go- quite often with the meds not all of the placenta etc comes away and it can days of days of cramps to get to that point and end in D&C anyway- well thats what Ive seen at work anyway.
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Posted By: Pepi-bebe
Date Posted: 19 December 2011 at 12:54pm
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Oh poor you, I know how you feel, I lost my baby in October at 11 weeks, 5 days and she (we think maybe was a girl) had stopped growing around 7-8 weeks. I had full on symptoms up to the day I just started bleeding. It was traumatic and devastating and such a shock. It was our first baby and all had been going perfectly.
I came on the forum today to write that I just got my period again this morning, our 2nd cycle of trying. I'm feeling so sad as we would have had our 20 week scan this week and were looking forward to telling our families at Xmas what gender and showing them the scan pics. Just do what you need to do to deal with it in the best way you can. Hopefully you have a supportive partner - they are invaluable. You can ask to take the placenta and baby with you if you want. We did and I have spoken to quite a few people who did as well and buried it with a tree planted etc. That helped us to get some closure - but may not be right for you. Kia kaha. -------------  Oct 11 & Mar 12
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Posted By: Orca1
Date Posted: 19 December 2011 at 6:29pm
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Sorry that you are going through this. M/c certainly do suck and being at this time of year doesn't help either.
Take care -------------  DD born 2008 Oct 2009, April 2010, Dec 2010, June 20117 x IVF/ICSI/PGD = BFN |
Posted By: zoeymil
Date Posted: 19 December 2011 at 6:41pm
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Deb.... i'm so sorry i'm going through the same thing at the moment, i think things stopped at about the same time, although i found out last Tuesday i haven't really been bleeding .... i had been hoping to join you in the July thread.... but it wasn't to be . I'm going in for a d&c on Wednesday..... look after yourself and i hope you can get the d&c done..... i'm looking forward to the whole sitution being over. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Storm11
Date Posted: 19 December 2011 at 8:08pm
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Deb!! I'm so so sending you hugs right now!!
So sad to see u going through this!! Hope your kids help you to have a happy Christmas, and heal your pain I know it can't be easy
Not that it's any better - but enjoy a glass or two of bubbles at Xmas 
Hope to see you in another "waiting" list soon xx ------------- TTC #2 6+ yrs. Multiple chemical losses, 4 IVF rounds, multiple FET's. Fingers still crossed for a miracle to come our way
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Posted By: _Deb_
Date Posted: 19 December 2011 at 10:24pm
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Thanks for the support ladies. It's so cruel that so many of us have had to go through this.
Hi Storm. Thanks hun. We'll probably try again in 6 or so months. Yeah i think i will have a glass or two for Christmas. I have to go in tomorrow for a blood test, then wait for the results and then a doctor will see me to sort out a plan. I really just want it to be over so i can move on. This has been a bad year for us and a heartbreaking end to it. I really hope 2012 is a better year for us. zoeymil i'm so sorry to hear you're going through it too. -------------
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Posted By: _Deb_
Date Posted: 20 December 2011 at 2:24pm
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Booked in for a D & C tomorrow. It's a big relief. I just want it to be over.
DP's boss is letting him have a couple of paid days off. So that's a relief too. -------------
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 20 December 2011 at 2:35pm
| Glad u are having a D&C tomorrow and at least the physical side of it will be over before christmas for u. Hugs. |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 20 December 2011 at 6:59pm
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aww Deb, I just saw this, Im so sorry hun . Big hugs x ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
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Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 20 December 2011 at 8:28pm
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Thinking of you tomorrow Deb.
------------- http://lilypie.com">
3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: SethsMama
Date Posted: 21 December 2011 at 7:39am
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Nothing really to add just hugs ------------- 
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Posted By: hopeful69
Date Posted: 21 December 2011 at 11:41am
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Debs I am so very sorry to hear about ur loss. It really sux and is so not fair
I know exactly what u r going thru and send u lots of love and hugs Time is really the only healer and being around ur kids. They will keep u distracted and busy.
I agree that D&C is the way to go. Get it ova and done with so u can carry on. They will give u misoprostol before they do the D&C then hopefully that will be it. Unfortunately with me I still had retained products so had to go back in two wks later
All the best and sending u lots of good wishes and a speedy recovery so that u can sort of enjoy Christmas with ur kids and family
2004
Jan 2011
Aug 2011
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Posted By: Troods
Date Posted: 21 December 2011 at 9:40pm
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Awww Debs I've only just found this. Hugs hun.
I had the same thing back in July. Scan at 6w 3d which showed a viable pregnancy, but I started heavy bleeding at 9 weeks and a scan showed baby stopped growing not very long after the first scan. MCd naturally at 10ish weeks. Even though it wasn't planned it was still heartbreaking and I was an emotional wreck, especialy after just starting a new job and then having the MC in my first week. I hope the D & C went okay for you today and you can move on. ------------- 
Missed MC July 2011
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Posted By: _Deb_
Date Posted: 22 December 2011 at 2:45pm
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Thanks ladies.
Well i didn't get out of hospital till 10am today. Was only supposed to be in for a few hours but ended up being in for 24. What a drama. Had to sit around for nearly 6 hours in the bloody waiting room, finally got put into a bed and given the pills and then ended up waiting around for another 3 or so hours. Didn't get in to surgery till around 7:30pm then had to stay in over night. I was so glad to get out! It was a long tiring day. It all went fine though and i'm feeling ok today. -------------
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Posted By: Princess_Bubs
Date Posted: 24 December 2011 at 11:30am
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Oh Deb, I have just seen this thread now. I am so so sorry for your loss.
I hope that you make a quick recovery physically, I know the emotional healing takes a long time, especially after having a long drawn out ordeal. I'm so sorry you went through everything you did. I know Christmas won't be the same but I hope that you still manage to have a nice day with your family. Big hugs sweetheart. Let me know if there's anything I can do x ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Two Precious Angel Babies 2010 / 2011
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Posted By: _Deb_
Date Posted: 24 December 2011 at 6:43pm
Thanks honey. Recovery has been fine. Had a little cramping on and off but other than that i feel fine (physically).
I'm still really looking forward to Christmas. The kids are really excited. It's a horrible time of year for this to happen but at least we've had Christmas to look forward to. I hope you're good and your little girl is growing well. -------------
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 27 December 2011 at 9:09pm
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Aww hun i'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you got it sorted before xmas, so that you can start to focus on healing emotionally. Take care xx ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: _Deb_
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 10:22pm
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Thanks. It was a relief to have it over with by Christmas. We still had a good Christmas. We had a quiet day at home, just the 4 of us. I had a few sad moments but it was still a good day. I'm doing a little better now. -------------
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Posted By: Guest_68214
Date Posted: 16 January 2012 at 8:13pm
| suck is an understatement. After 3 miscarriages in a row in 6 months I was glad to see the back of 2011 - stayed up till midnight especially to make sure it went! You never understand a miscarriage until you experience one - I certainly never did and couldn't see the big deal until I had my first one. I also never realised just how many women go through this. The only positive I can find in the whole thing is that it makes you apreciate human strength and resilience to try again |