picky parents make picky children?
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Topic: picky parents make picky children?
Posted By: nannikin
Subject: picky parents make picky children?
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 7:56pm
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Just curious as to what people's thoughts are on parent's eating habits affecting children?
My DH who i love to bits has all sorts of things he won't eat. Mostly i just live with it, other times it really winds me up. the last thing i want to have is children who are picky eaters too! i eat basically everything, which adds to the fustration 
so yeh, wondering if there is a correlation? and also any advice! DH doesn't eat chicken, cheese, fish/seafood, and all manner of odd things like ham steaks, celery, various fruit, berries, mushrooms.... i know it is early to be thinking about these things, but wondering how to warm him up to the idea that i won't be pandering to his every wish when i am trying to cook for a family? i am keen to try BLW so not wanting to faff around making him different meals to me and baby! thanks in advance! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Replies:
Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 8:16pm
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Its a bit different for me as there is just me and DD, but I find I just don't offer the foods I don't like so she doesn't tend to eat them. I don't do it on purpose, it just happens. She's about as picky as a normal 2 year old I guess, somedays she eats and somedays not much, she goes through phases where there are things she won't eat. I don't really make a big deal about it, my theory is I dish dinner up and then she either eats it or she doesn't and goes to bed hungry. I can see how you might find things difficult though if your DH won't eat certain foods. Maybe you could compromise and each choose a few meals a week which you like. That way you can expose your kids to a variety of things but he doesn't always have to be served up food he doesn't like. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 8:18pm
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Fil will not touch vegies... Neither will DP! Dd won't touch her dinner unless she eats the same as us! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MrsEmma
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 8:31pm
DH and I aren't fussy eaters as such, DH hates mushrooms though so I don't think I've ever bought them in the 10 years we've been together so DS would have never really been exposed to them (maybe in a pasta sauce a few times). I wonder what he'll think when he does come across them 
He eats exactly what we eat, a couple of times I've thought he may not like what we were having so made him something else but he would pick off our plates and leave his own. Often seeing us eat our veges or potatoes will encourage him to eat his. Do you make meal plans at the moment? They really help here, I don't mind cooking and do so 99% of the time, but I do insist that DH has input into what we are having - he knows DS will be eating it too and he is as much into getting veggies and a good variety of food into him as I am. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: JadeC
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 8:34pm
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Ugh I hope not! DH is a terribly picky eater - no veges, certain meats, not on the bone . . . painful! So far DS hasn't gone that way, so here's hoping he takes after me! ------------- http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: SethsMama
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 8:51pm
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I just offer DS anything and everything...today he demolished a peeled lemon!
I even buy things I don't really like to give some to him. ------------- 
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Posted By: Keleho
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 9:33pm
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DH eats most things but what I find annoying is when he makes the 'ew, *insert various types of veges*' comments to DD even if he will eat and even likes it himself. She immediately picks up on that and stops eating it.
Kids do pick up on their parents attitude to food and eating IMO - his mum once told me she never made the kids eat what she wouldnt herself. All well and good in theory but shes not a big vege eater either so there was a lot that DH hadnt tried when we moved in together. That has since changed 
Im a bit more strict with that sort of thing - dinner will be served up and if you dont want it, you go hungry (although I am happy to be flexible on that depending on child age and other factors). Seems to work, DD for the most part is a good eater ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 29 November 2011 at 8:45am
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DH and I arent picky, but our kids seem to be. Or maybe they're just in *that* stage. Its annoying! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Hayz001
Date Posted: 29 November 2011 at 9:39am
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There is tonnes of research which shows a correlation between the mother's diet during pregnancy and a child's acceptance of a wide range of food - so as you're not a picky eater, your baby is already getting exposure to a wide variety of tastes which is great. I would totally recommend BLW, I only started with my daughter at about 8 months but I would absolutely do it from the start with the next baby. Even if your DH is picky (and is probably unlikely to change, from my experience!) I would just make sure that he and you don't talk about his picky food habits at family mealtimes, don't make a fuss about what he doesn't like/won't eat and ensure that your baby's experience of food is always positive and fun. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy :) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 29 November 2011 at 9:44am
That might explain it. I couldn't eat at all when pregnant with DD... it was ice cubes, sherbet and nesquick ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Hayz001 wrote:Posted By: Lill
Date Posted: 29 November 2011 at 9:57am
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When I first met DH he was an incredibly fussy eater. I just never bought into it and continued to make the meals I wanted and he actually grew to like them (He will quite happily eat it unless I ask and of course then has to complain that he doesn't like it)
He was brought up in a home where dinner was very basic, meat and 3 veg (all boiled) so a lot of the stuff I made him he had never even tried. And I think just like a child the more you expose them to it the more they get used to the taste. Even now we are probably still a wee bit fussy, I hate eating meat off the bone. Certain vegies we just don't go there, corgette, onion, cucumber (although funny enough my girls love cucumber).... And I really struggle eating fruit. Our Girls have both been through their fussy stages and there are some foods they just don't like, which is understandable. Generally though, they are very good eaters and often their favourites are the things I don't like because when ever they get it (bananas etc.) its a real special treat! I think the key has been not to make a big deal out of food, food is food, if we are hungry we eat. |
Posted By: Keleho
Date Posted: 29 November 2011 at 12:00pm
Definitely agree there Lill! We dont make a big deal about food, be that treats or otherwise. DD is served her dinner (usually the same as what we are having) and can eat what shes likes, leave what she doesnt. If shes still hungry afterwards that doesnt mean she gets to eat icecream or other 'treat' type food to fill the gap! I have found that offering foods over and over does seem to help - DD hated potato with a passion but I always gave her a small portion (and she never ate it). One day, she tried it and scoffed the lot, and now its always the first thing to go on her plate no matter how its cooked. I think there is a certain amount of immitation of parents/siblings/friends when it comes to eating but kids are developing their own tastes and preferences like any adult, no point forcing it - they will eat if they are hungry enough ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 29 November 2011 at 1:07pm
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My sister got her DP finally eating healthy food by pointing out exactly that - if he modelled a crap diet, not only was it bad for his health, but he was not doing his daughter's health any favours either. I'd be pushing that kind of angle. Sounds like he's fussy to the point of being unhealthy to me.
My DH isn't much of a fruit eater - I'm thinking his useless parents brought him up on crap snacks - but I still eat it and share it with DD. And I try and have the limited fruit that DH will eat available so he's at least eating some fruit, even if he's dodging so much good stuff! DD hasn't seemed to have picked up that DH isn't eating much variety - she's smart enough to happily enjoy her cherries/apples/grapefruit etc while he has yet another banana  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: nannikin
Date Posted: 29 November 2011 at 6:44pm
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thanks guys, it's nice to hear about other family's experiences
i'm pleased to hear about those studies hayz001 - baby definitely will have had a taste of just about everything by the time he/she arrives! Dh is unlikely to change too much, but i haven't really pushed the envelope with food too often - it just creates angst <shrugs> it has been suggested to me before that i should just sneak stuff into his meals but he's not stupid! also good to hear that kids go through fussy stages, i promise to not lose the plot the first time baby turns a certain food down hehe i think your sister's line of reasoning is pretty sound T-Rex, DH is stubborn but is already a big softie about baby so hopefully that helps matters! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Kupukupu
Date Posted: 29 November 2011 at 9:31pm
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Interesting topic. I am not a fussy eater at all but DH is. He was worse when I met him but over the years I have worn him down and changed his palate a little bit I guess. His father is also fussy and prefers plain old meat and potato type dinners.
So... I thought that it was a learnt behaviour and over my dead body would my children be fussy! DH was banned from expressing any negative emotions or thoughts about food around the kids right from the start. Child #1 popped out and was a screaming colic and reflux baby- after a journey of food elimination for me, we found he was intolerant of citrus, tomato and dairy through my breast milk. When we started him on solids I was obviously careful not to introduce allergen foods too early but did try him on plenty of stuff. Texture was a major thing for him and he gagged and choked until about 12 months & some foods he refluxed back up. He was a very fussy, sensitive eater and refused many foods regardless of my insistent retrying (even resorted to force feeding vege soup once to my shame, even though we didn't get past the first mouthful :( ). His acceptable foods over the years were very narrow and in the end it became a matter of going with the flow so we could get some food into him with out him listlessly withering away. I tried food therapy- letting him play with food, help me cook, letting his choose dinner, explaining ingredients, tested for coeliacs, deficiencies etc ... Anyway, I stopped forcing but kept trying and offering... age 9.5yrs now and he is still picky but he is willing to try new stuff and we have had some cool breakthroughs of new found favourites. He loves to read cooking books and loves to bake, I explain my cooking and get him to smell stuff like ginger, basil, garlic etc. His food repertoire is expanding and its awesome to see him enjoying food rather than it being functional to him. His sister was a good eater without his problems... but did eventually pick up on his behaviour (grrrr)- hers was learnt behaviour most certainly. The point of my rant? well... the years have changed my opinions- There is some research that points to that some peoples taste buds could be more sensitive meaning that taste and textures can be more intense and therefore creating "picky" eaters- these super taste buds may have a genetic component to them so you need to be careful about blaming nurture exclusively over nature (I'm sure nurture can and does play a role sometimes). There is also something called "selective eating disorder" which is worth reading about if you have an usually picky eater and have tried everything you can and want to understand the behaviour better. |
Posted By: minipig
Date Posted: 30 November 2011 at 9:28am
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Kupukupu, that's interesting about some people being more sensitive to taste.
I saw something recently on a re-run of Child of Our Time (love that series) and they did a taste test to see if the parents of the children were "super tasters" or just normal tasters. Apparently super tasters are really sensitive to taste and much more likely to be fussy whereas the normal tasters (I forgot what they were called) would eat pretty much anything because their taste buds were much less sensitive. And apparently it's genetic, so a child with two super taster parents is doomed to be fussy! I also read something in my pregnancy book similar to what Hayz001 said, that depending what you are eating it can give a slight flavour to the amniotic fluid in the womb so baby could get a taste for it. Eg if you’ve living of bananas baby might get a taste for them! I'll have to try not to eat too much sweet stuff as DH and I are terrible sweet tooth’s and we don't want our children to be like that! (Sorry – novel) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 30 November 2011 at 2:05pm
I am fussy DP is less so and since I cook DD gets what I make and eat generally speaking. But I do offer her other things so long as there is someone else around to eat it if she doesn't like it lol. So if DP is round then he gets to eat a few things he didn't intend to :) I don't eat mince but she does, and sausages and things, she is going through a bit of a fussy stage in terms of vege and so we are just offering her what she likes to eat. Although she turned her nose up at broccoli the other day after asking for it over and over again a week earlier  ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: nannikin
Date Posted: 30 November 2011 at 7:28pm
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interesting stuff kupukupu!
minipig i still can't stomach more than a bite of anything sweet so i'm hoping i won't have passed on my mega sweet tooth 
lol honeybunsma, who would turn down broccoli??! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 01 December 2011 at 7:09pm
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No fussiness in this house.
We all eat everything. Im big on trying new foods or reintroducing foods that i didnt like just so DD has the chance to try new stuff. I must be a real meany lol  i tell DP he will eat what i dish up. I cook 24/7 and if it was up to him he would live off deep fried crap. Sometimes on occasion he will say he isnt eating it but he always does. He needs to lead by example.
So far DD eats everything. She never hesitates to try new foods either. She isnt too keen on meat but im not really bothered about that. Now at nearly 3 DD will eat whatever we have. Curry, spicy food anything. We always eat dinner together and have the same thing. -------------  
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Posted By: nannikin
Date Posted: 01 December 2011 at 7:23pm
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i think i might just have to dust off my meany pants at some point then SMS DH loves crappy takeaway food, but we won't be able to afford much of that on one income!! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 01 December 2011 at 7:50pm
| Curious I was just discussing this earlier - I am a super fussy eater ds at 10 months has a better range of foods then I do and I am the only person he eats with. I buy loads of things I don't eat and serve it up as part of his meal and leave it out of mine. Ie. Tonight we had tortillas, mine was meat and carrot and lettuce. His was that plus avo, cheese, grilled courgette, tomato, mushroom, capsicum. |
Posted By: nannikin
Date Posted: 01 December 2011 at 9:37pm
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nyum i love tortillas! meals like that are fab cos DH and I can put our own toppings in (tonight we made our own burgers and wedges). guess it will all be a bit of trial and error really, DH admits he knows it is all in his head but just can't bring himself to eat stuff he doesn't like! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: xLUCKYx
Date Posted: 02 December 2011 at 11:40am
| We have one fussy eater (DD) and one who will eat anything (DS) - DF & I both eat a wise range of foods. |