Best time to get family help?
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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Topic: Best time to get family help?
Posted By: Speckle
Subject: Best time to get family help?
Date Posted: 11 October 2011 at 7:57pm
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Question.
I'm in Dunedin, pregnant with our first baby, and my family is in Auckland. My parents want to come down to help out around the house etc but are leaving it up to me to decide when the timing would be best for me. So.. Since they can only leave work for brief periods of time, should I ask them to come down just before my due date, around the time I'm due, or after? And if before/after, how long? Thanks for any help! I want to get flights booked asap because I'm due early Dec and Christmas always inflates prices! 
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Replies:
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 11 October 2011 at 8:00pm
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My ILs came when DD was 2 weeks old it was a good time to have them here to help out and give me plenty of rest. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: maya22
Date Posted: 11 October 2011 at 8:06pm
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I am assuming you have a DH... so after bubs is born and your DH has to go back to work, depending on how much time he will be taking as paternity leave etc.
It is good to have a few days/weeks just the three of you to be your own wee family unit, and to get used to the way life is now. Once you are alone in the house with a newborn you suddenly find that it is hard cooking dinner with a baby that wants to be fed/held continuously from 4pm to 8pm... that is the time you are grateful for any useful help at all. ------------- DS1 July 2007 DS2 Nov 2010 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Speckle
Date Posted: 11 October 2011 at 8:19pm
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Maya - Yeah, and DP's family is down here too. Not that I'm all that keen on having them around too much! Thanks for the replies
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Posted By: Aroha11
Date Posted: 11 October 2011 at 8:21pm
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As Maya22 said - once your DH/DP has gone back to work that is the best time but that is hard to work out for flights (in advance) so maybe if you book them in 3 or 4 weeks after bubs is due then you can be sure that bubs will be here and you would have had some time yourself with bubs.
But in saying that whenever they are with you will be great relief, if they come before I am sure they can help stock your freezer with dinners and lunches. Hope all goes well and enjoy the time your parents visiting! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 11 October 2011 at 8:28pm
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I agree, spend those precious first couple of weeks as your own little family, especially if your DH has time off.
For most people they say the first 6 weeks are the hardest, so perhaps around 4-6 weeks? For me, I had a severe refluxer, so life just got progressively more difficult for the first 4 months or so, so later would have been better for me  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 12 October 2011 at 3:40pm
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Man, now would be good for me!
I agree, after your DH goes back to work. Make sure they come to help too, not just hold and look at the baby.... that's not help. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Flossie
Date Posted: 13 October 2011 at 7:36am
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I also agree that after DH goes back to work. I was very lucky when I had my first that DH had a week off, my mother helped for a week and then MIL for another week so baby was 3 weeks old before I had to do it on my own - I am hoping for the same type of support this time round ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 13 October 2011 at 8:00pm
I'm in the "once DH is back at work" camp too. With my DS1 Mum was booked to come 2 weeks after my EDD (we live outside NZ) .. DS had other ideas though and arrived 8 weeks early  Mum couldn't change her flights so we were on our own till he was 2 months old and TBH it was hard but not that bad. I loved having the chance to get to know him without someone else interfering.
Having said that, we did the same thing with my sister for DS2 and he was full term so my sister arrived when he was 2 weeks old and it was so nice to have someone here making me cups of tea and keeping me company while I was getting to grips with BF again (lots of hours on the couch) and also help with meals. It was great! ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: Speckle
Date Posted: 13 October 2011 at 8:22pm
It definitely sounds like the consensus is a couple of weeks after! I hope this little one is close to his due date.. Then I'd have a couple of weeks before we do a small family Christmas with my folks. And they can do all the work 
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