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Oh, I’m so clucky! But...

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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40591
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Topic: Oh, I’m so clucky! But...
Posted By: escadachic
Subject: Oh, I’m so clucky! But...
Date Posted: 24 September 2011 at 8:55pm
The reality is, unless we win lotto or get in the money somehow, there's no hopes of doing anything about that.

There used to be this part of me that was like, no, never again, 2 is enough! And this other part, which is like, I've worked so hard to get my figure back, I don't want to have another baby/pregnancy ruin it. Yeah slightly selfish thinking, I know!

But yeah, feelings change, desires change. But reality hasn't changed and neither has the financial situation.

So who is in the same boat?

I think I'll just have to accept that this is reality and I may not ever be in a position to have anymore babies.

Funny how majorly life can change! I used to never wants babies, but then, I turned 23 and decided, I wanted a baby. And after having her, I said, never again! But by the time she was 6 months, I had changed my tune and thought, maybe one more. I had baby #2 and was like, this will be my last! And what do you know, here I am, like many I suspect, thinking, oh, maybe I could handle 1 more.

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Replies:
Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 24 September 2011 at 8:57pm
It's like, either I decide, yes, one day I shall try for #3 or I should just make up my mind and have my tubes tied and be happy with my 2 darling daughters.

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Posted By: meganmouse
Date Posted: 24 September 2011 at 9:06pm
Slightly different but I also am super clucky and would LOVE another one.
But currently very much single without much chance of that changing anytime soon .

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Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 24 September 2011 at 9:09pm
Oh, meganmouse.

There's still hope though. You are single, meaning, the right man will come along in time and you can start one day, trying for another.


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Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 24 September 2011 at 9:30pm
Im sorta undecided on that one. For ages I was like I don't think I can do it all over again. Now I think, one day I will be able to do it again. But I know that even if I wanted to have another baby right now it wouldn't be responsible as things would be too tight financially. We make it all work now but I think having another would stretch it too far, and therefore cause stress and I'd like next time around to be a bit less stressful than #1 has been. But yeah I was looking back on pics of bub in the early days just now and I was like OMG he used to be so teeny, where did it all go.

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Me 28, DH 29
DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old)
#2 due October 7
http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: meganmouse
Date Posted: 24 September 2011 at 9:39pm
Thanks lol its all good. At least I got one - thats more than some, so I consider myself lucky.

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Created by MyFitnessPal.com


Posted By: NovemberMum
Date Posted: 25 September 2011 at 1:16am
hmm yeah I would like a 3rd and unless our financial situation changes it likely wont happen.

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http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 25 September 2011 at 9:27am
I'm crazy clucky. Which is a good thing really...

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Posted By: mummymonster
Date Posted: 25 September 2011 at 9:51am
I'm crazy clucky too. I'd love a #3 but as above money would be tight. I'm also a wee bit older than you guys by the sound of it, I can hear my clock ticking - lol
Still, I'd go for #3 if DH was into it. I figure the last generation often had 4 or more and way less stuff so it must be doable.


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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 25 September 2011 at 11:02am
Originally posted by IsaacsMum IsaacsMum wrote:

I'm crazy clucky too. I'd love a #3 but as above money would be tight. I'm also a wee bit older than you guys by the sound of it, I can hear my clock ticking - lol
Still, I'd go for #3 if DH was into it. I figure the last generation often had 4 or more and way less stuff so it must be doable.


These days, I don't know if anyone is really too old. Most of the mums in my suburb are having baby from late 30's to late 40's.

Well maybe there is a limit to how old, but 40's I know around here at least is very normal.

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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 25 September 2011 at 12:29pm
I'm crazy super clucky. It isn't going to happen in the next year or so though, and I know that (I am in a new relationship, so waaaaaaaaaay too soon hahaha). Hopefully it will happen though, when the time is right


Posted By: Sharlene28
Date Posted: 25 September 2011 at 2:04pm
Kell, you can look after my baby anytime you like, he's due January 7th lol!

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http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 25 September 2011 at 2:13pm
If you drive here I will Sharlene

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Posted By: Sharlene28
Date Posted: 25 September 2011 at 2:31pm
Haha! I just might have to do that sometime :)

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http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 25 September 2011 at 3:16pm
I'm cool with that

If I aren't have anymore I'm more then happy to borrow them

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Posted By: Febgirl
Date Posted: 25 September 2011 at 3:23pm
In 10 years time, do you see yourself with a family of 2 or 3 children (teenagers?) That's a good question to ask yourself to determine if it's a baby you want or a larger family...

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Two little girls under 2!



Posted By: mummymonster
Date Posted: 25 September 2011 at 3:28pm
Originally posted by Febgirl Febgirl wrote:

In 10 years time, do you see yourself with a family of 2 or 3 children (teenagers?) That's a good question to ask yourself to determine if it's a baby you want or a larger family...

that just makes me a little sad, now i want at least 2 more. it was great being a kid/teenager in a family of 4 kids.

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 25 September 2011 at 4:40pm
I think, when thinking about it like that, I do still want 1-2 more. No more than that though.


Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 25 September 2011 at 4:57pm
I'm like Febgirl & Minik8e, I can not actually be arsed with all this pregnancy crap and baby stuff....I want to morph a 2-3 year old. I want my kids to have more siblings than I ever had & to enjoy that.

We've decided it's not really about us & so what if we don't have the latest "things" we'll afford our kids no matter what.

escadachic, so you're approximately 30??....you've still go time up your sleeve.

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Kel
http://lilypie.com">

A = 01.02.04   &   C = 16.01.09   &   G = 30.03.12


Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 25 September 2011 at 7:40pm
Yup, I'm 32.

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Posted By: UpsyDaisy
Date Posted: 08 October 2011 at 2:25pm

I've been he thinking about this lately not long after having my twins I was definately not having any more! And have to admit in the first weeks I thought I had made a horrible mistake.

I really struggled with sleep deprivation, BF was a huge struggle I put huge pressure on myself to continue and was overly anxious about everything. I could relate to a thread a while back on relationships post-baby too.

18 months down the track its so much easier I love my toddlers to pieces. Someone recently called me a 'natural mother' kinda have to laugh I really wasn't. Nice compliment though.

So I had convinced myself no-more kids (and DH) but I recently sold the baby capsules and for two days thought hmm maybe I shouldn't have... not sure if family feels complete. Not keen on doing the baby bit again but think I would be so much more confident 2nd time around.

If I do think about family in 10 yrs time it would be nice if it was busy ie one more. I could write so many pros/cons either way. Even thinking on a global leval does the world need more humans probably not. I am so indecisive, how do you know for sure?


Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 08 October 2011 at 4:43pm
Oh god tell me about it. I swore after Lily, thats it no more tie my tubes, get babies away from me, i dont want anymore bla bla bla.. Yesterday I discovered that omg I DO want another baby - much to my husbands disgust. He said no, so it aint gonna happen!

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Alex, Thomas and Lily
http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: Troods
Date Posted: 08 October 2011 at 5:09pm
*puts hand up* yep, in the same boat here. My girls are only 3 and 1 and after the 2nd I was determined that would be the last, but then earlier this year we were like "maybe a 3rd would complete us" and "wouldn't it be nice if we tried to add a boy to this mix" but we decided to put the idea away for a while. Then unexpectedly we found ourselves expecting no 3, the timing was really bad and while DH came round to the idea quickly, I still struggled with it - really didn't want to go through the horrible parts of being pregnant, was trying to find a job etc. But then I found a job with an employer that was happy to accept my situation, I had come round to the idea of a 3rd joining us and things were looking brighter, but then it all changed when I found out I had a missed MC. WE got past that and put the idea away again, then lots of friends around us were announcing their pregnancies at the stage I would've been at and now I'm all undecided again. I try not to think about it, but DH keeps bringing it up. One minute he's like "3 would be nice" and then he's decided "I like just having our 2 girls" and yes most of the "do we, don't we" revolves around finance, my new job, whether I want to go through the pregnancy and newborn stage again with the BFing and lack of sleep while trying to also look after 2 under 5s and whether or not to go back to work. My latest resolve is that we forget about for the next year or so before revisitng the idea, maybe when our eldest is at school and I'm more settled in my job. But if we won lotto tonight then I'd be jumping DH's bones tonight! OVing right now so ideal time to knock me up straight away!!!

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Missed MC July 2011


Posted By: Danda08
Date Posted: 08 October 2011 at 5:56pm
Jules your post could have come straight from my head!

I was so sure I didn't want anymore after the twins that I sold/gave away all my newborn clothes, the bassinets, the carrycots for the MB etc. Then when they were 6 months I started thinking maybe I would like another and I'm kicking myself for getting rid of all that stuff.

I also wonder whether it's irresponsible on a global/environmental level.

From talking to my friends I kinda get the feeling that when you're done you know it, so while you're indecisive you're probably not finished. And I think that's me.

I hope that I do decide I'm finished cos it makes so much sense logistically & financially for us to only have 2.

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http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: UpsyDaisy
Date Posted: 09 October 2011 at 12:56pm
Originally posted by Danda08 Danda08 wrote:


From talking to my friends I kinda get the feeling that when you're done you know it, so while you're indecisive you're probably not finished. And I think that's me.

I hope that I do decide I'm finished cos it makes so much sense logistically & financially for us to only have 2.


There are quite a few vasectomy reversals done so obviously people are quite certain then change their minds. For the same reasons I hope I decide 2 is enough.

Like Troods think I will revisit it in 6mths-1yr. DH is leaning towards no more but think he could be convinced but he has said if more he would not want to have a big gap as does not want to be an old dad he is 33 plus he figures you spend 20 ish years putting most of your money to the kids so they get a good start then after that save for retirement.

Danda, I'm sorry I can't remember if your girls are ID or Frat. Don't forget if Frat we have a 1 in 4 chance of twins again..


Posted By: Danda08
Date Posted: 09 October 2011 at 4:02pm
Haha Jules, that's one of the things that concerns me about trying again (my girls are frat). If we did, it wouldn't be for another year or 2 so there would be even higher odds due to my age.
My DH is like yours, doesn't want to be an old Dad (he's 42 now so yours is just a spring chicken) so it would be a hard sell if I did decide I want another.

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http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: Richie
Date Posted: 09 October 2011 at 10:20pm
We are currently trying for #2, our last, we both agreed that 2 would be our lot cause logistically, anymore than that just gets too difficult and costly..... bigger car, bigger house, harder for travel (DF's from Ireland so visits back there every now and again are a given). But I was thinking the other day about what it was like for me growing up as one of 6 kids. It was pretty crap when we were younger cause 5yrs between each of us so I never had anyone close in age to me but now we are all older we get along great. 1x brother and 1x sister live overseas but 1x brother and 2x sisters still live in CHCH and it's cool. I just think 'what if we only have 2 kids and one of them moves overseas and leaves the other one all alone' kinda thing.... maybe we will have a third in a few years but that is IT! Definitely no more than that for me!

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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 10 October 2011 at 8:29am
I'm like AandCsmum.... if I could skip pregnancy and the revolting newborn stage I would do it lol. The sleep deprivation is what I have struggled with the most and it certainly isn't over!
I see us with one more. Possibly. sigh.

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http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: Richie
Date Posted: 10 October 2011 at 11:29am
Awwwww I love the newborn stage! That is what I miss the most! Sleepless nights and all

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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 10 October 2011 at 11:31am
I was clucky but we talked about it and talked about it and decided that in the end the pregnancy part is hell and since if we had 3 I'd want one more (even numbers ) we'd stick with 2 for now and give ourselves more time to consider it. Then we got a BFP... And the pregnancy part is hell... And I know we'll end up having one more after this because I've always wanted 4 and I hate the idea of 3... :sigh:

I am super-excited though and as for the affording thing weeellll IMHO people live beyond their means too much and could actually afford a helluvalot more than they think they can if they simplified so having a large family doesn't bother me economically-wise. DH worries about it abit coz alot of his workmates have larger, older families and say it costs the earth but then again they're the type of people who wouldn't think to grow their own veges, etc to save some cash.

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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 10 October 2011 at 11:33am
Oh yeah but it did take me over a year to get clucky again after DS2 I was sooooo not interested! I kept everything though coz I have a 2 year rule.

And Lisa I love the NB stage too!!! Its just so snuffly and soft and new and delicious

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Posted By: Heidi7
Date Posted: 10 October 2011 at 2:08pm
I'm at this stage too. We decided right from the beginning we'd have 3. We currently have two aged 3 and 1 and if there's a next one then we would want to have him/her next year to keep the ages close.

I haven't thrown anything out and have kept all the baby clothes etc as I also heard you knew when you were finished. My cousin had her last the same time as I had my second and she got rid of everything,knowing that was it.

I would rather have even numbers as well but thats just not going to happen.

I would love a third but at the back of my mind I do have the niggling financial part going on. Not for when they're young but when we have 3 teenagers. Also the dynamic between my two now is great and I'm scared a third my alter that too much.

But alas now I've read nzlisajo's post about when they're grown up and I want my children to have lots of family around them.

Decisions, decisions

Oh and I love the baby stage too. Sleep depreivation doesn't really concern me.


Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 10 October 2011 at 5:53pm
I dont mind the sleepless nights really, heck, I've managed thru 2 kids already!!
Its the husband thats the problem. Just like this:

http://tinyurl.com/3fluxrh - http://tinyurl.com/3fluxrh

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Alex, Thomas and Lily
http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: mizpix
Date Posted: 10 October 2011 at 9:18pm
yep I'm another who would just love another one.I always envisage having 3. BUT I am a late 30's single mum with no man on the horizon, so the chances are diminishing on a daily basis. I love being pregnant, and I love new borns,just sooo hope I get another chance one day

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http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2920e5" rel="nofollow - My Ovulation Chart


Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 11 October 2011 at 4:34pm
Originally posted by MissAngel MissAngel wrote:

I dont mind the sleepless nights really, heck, I've managed thru 2 kids already!!
Its the husband thats the problem. Just like this:

http://tinyurl.com/3fluxrh - http://tinyurl.com/3fluxrh


LMFAO!!!!!! Soooo good!!! Sooooo true!!!

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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 12 October 2011 at 11:44am
I'm sitting here giggling....for those of you with twins who straight away thought that was it, no more....the first 2 weeks after the girls were born, I said no way ever nah uh and then about 6 weeks after they were born I wanted to start trying again In hindsight, great that we didn't (we were going to wait until they were 18 months old) but that feeling is still there and it has become a yearning, especially since meeting my partner.



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