Not allowed to see baby
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Topic: Not allowed to see baby
Posted By: MissAngel
Subject: Not allowed to see baby
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 9:53am
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I thought i'd post this here so it gets the most exposure.
My SIL had her wee girl last night, 2 weeks early after pre-eclampsia and spontanious labour. 12 hour labour, pain relief didnt work and baby came out via forcepts and not breathing. Baby is fine and has been off machines since 3am which is awesome, done her first poo and has had a feed (i think formula) Now, the problem thats going on, is my poor SIL had super high BP and a seizure at the end of labour because she was so stressed out. Her BP was fine until the last 30 mins of labour. They have her in recovery still and will NOT let her see the baby. I rang her this morning and she's bright as a bird, knows whats happening, feels like a spaghetti monster with all the wires and tubes and crap, but she hasnt even seen one glimpse of her lovely wee girl. They say she's not allowed to until she is calm and her BP has come down. I would have thought that holding/feeding baby would help with that, would it not? I'm quite concerned because if she gets any more stressed out, she'll have another seizure or at worst case senario a stroke. This isnt right, is it? As far as I know (from the convo we had) theres no other issues - she's not bleeding heavy, she's been to the toilet etc. They wont even let her have a cup of tea! What can we do? I tried to assure her that if she concentrates on the fact that she'll get to see baby once she's settled down, everything will be alright, but yea.. not working. Also, has anyone got a recipe for those cookies that help with BF? Baby was 2 weeks early and because she hasnt been able to feed her herself, she's worried she's going to have problems. Thought I might bake her some tasty treats to help! TIA! xox ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 10:16am
aww your poor sil i know it sounds curl but the doctors will have there reason why she cant see baby. They will want her to settle frist. There maybe more going on then she is telling you, or that she even knows herself. I am sure once she is settled they will let her see the baby.  ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 10:36am
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It just seems odd to me.. you think that letting her see the baby would help settle her down.
Ive just seen a pic of her and man she's lovely!!! ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: bebebaby
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 10:41am
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Maybe ask the dad to ask the nurses looking after baby if they can ask for mum to come down. But I would say they are doing the best thing for you SIL. Which does suck in the mean time.
Also if baby is in special care then the nurses will help mum with bf'ing and she will be given assistance to learn to express etc. So I wouldn't worry too much about the bf'ing yet. Also just encourage mum to do lots of skin to skin once she can see baby. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: UpsyDaisy
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 12:12pm
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I know its hard I was in a similar situation to your SIL with my DS having to be apart from me initially but it sounds like she has alot more medical issues. It is tough at the time but the rules are to protect both your SIL, baby and the staff. If your SIL were to visit baby in a NICU ward and have a seizure the nurses there would not have the experience or equipment to deal with it. DH did the skin to skin with DS, hes a real daddys boy which DH attributes back to this
She should get support with BF, I hope she does not put to much pressure on herself as I did ( not good for your blood pressure) I was freaking out as my milk was not coming in and was not until about day 5 a lactaction consultant told me if medical stuff is going on with the mum or you have alot of oedema the milk is slower to come in. It didn't happen for me until day 6/7. Sounds like baby is doing well so hopefully they will be all together soon. |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 12:58pm
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if it were me i would be up there demanding the mother be allowed to see her baby! how hard is it to wheel the bassinett to her in Recovery?! Is her husband supportive of her not seeing the baby? ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 1:16pm
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Bizzy, I'm assuming the baby is in an incubator in NICU. Transporting that and the accompanying equipment might not be a simple task.
If I were her I would definitely be asking more questions to different people, but at the same time, I have to assume doctors/midwives do things for valid reasons. |
Posted By: fairy1
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 1:57pm
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It will probably be because of a safety issue for baby and mum. If anything went wrong with the baby while she was in recovery then the staff wouldn't be set up well to help, and if something went wrong with your SIL if she was in NICU then they wouldn't be able to cope. They will not want to risk the mother having a seizure with the baby present as that would be an extremely unsafe situation. If she has as many wires as it sounds like she does, then she will not be able to hold or feed the baby so the staff will not want the baby there as it is unsafe.. I know it sounds cruel but they are trying to do the best for mother and baby. I know it's not the same but could someone take a photo of the baby so she could at least see that. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 2:53pm
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Okay thinking outside of the box here but is it possible to have a video camera to go in and for her to see baby that way perhaps?
I must say this would have been really hard for me as there is no way my bp would have gone down while not being able to see my baby for my own eyes. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 3:14pm
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Right, so the deal is - she STILL hasnt seen the baby. They wont allow it until her BP comes down. I'm totally with Bizzy - I'd be going mental at them to let me see my baby. Baby isnt in an incubator or in the NICU. She just needed a bit of breathing support but that was all over rover at 3am this morn. In their infinite wisdom they think it's for the best keeping them apart - i'm sorry, but I think that's stupidly wrong. How is someone supposed to get their blood pressure down and be all nice and calm if they wont let her see the baby! WTF!
Dont care about wires everywhere, sh*t, I had spaghetti mania after my daughter with IV's in both hands, heart monitors, the works, but I was allowed to hold and feed my baby. Whatever staff it is needs a kick up the arse. Thank goodness I dont have the petrol to go down there and have words.. I'm just so peeved at the whole situation. Oh and she's seen pictures, but that's just making the hormones and instincts take over even more. Edit: Bizzy - dad is just completely overwhelmed with everything. he's been taking lots of pictures for her tho. I'll be ringing her again tonight to see how she's doing. ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: KH25
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 3:25pm
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Is the baby on the regular postnatal ward being looked after by Dad then? If I was him I would be wrapping the baby up and appearing wherever Mum is!!! ------------- Kelly, mum to DD, 19Jun06 (26wks 1lb15oz) DS1, 24Oct10 (32wks 4lb11oz) and DS2, 31Dec11 (32wks, 4lb11) http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 3:31pm
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unfortunatly he's at work this afternoon. He's the only lab tech where he works and he hadnt planned getting out of work 2 weeks early! But no, I dont know what the deal is with that sorry. I just really dont get it. Might have to pinch mums car and go down there and actually see whats going on. ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Isabella
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 3:50pm
| It all sounds a bit strange to me... Your poor SIL - that must be really awful. With all the fuss about doing what the MUM wants for the baby throughout the whole pregnancy, labor, post-natal care you think they would be being a bit more PC about it!! Sounds like something that would have happened 50yrs ago!... Goodluck getting some answers xx |
Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 3:59pm
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or 32 as the case may be :P Same thing happened to my mum when she had me - it was two days before she was allowed to see me however! No wonder i'm such a pain in the arse with her now eh ;) ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: fairy1
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 4:21pm
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MissAngel, if you are as worried as you seem (and I'm pretty sure you are), then you should borrow your mum's car and go down there so that she has someone on her side as it sounds like she is all alone. If a family member is with the baby then it will be a lot harder for the doctors to say no, she can't see the baby as a lot of their reasons will be taken away from them. I also think it would be good for you to see for yourself the situation rather than from your SIL as she might not know fully what is happening so you're not getting all the information and getting upset and angry over something that might be different in reality. This might not be the same situation but as a health professional we see it all the time, patients telling their family one thing when it's really a different thing. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 5:15pm
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Could it be that the baby has some kind of mark from the forcepts delivery and they are worried that that along with her high BP might might cause more seizures? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Alex 6 and Harry 8 |
Posted By: _Deb_
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 5:35pm
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Man if that was me it would be RAISING my blood pressure because i'd be so angry they were keeping my own baby away from me! It sucks that they can do that. It is HER baby after all, she should have a say. I hope she gets to see her soon. That must be really hard. ------------- 
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Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 7:21pm
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In the end they let her see baby :) She's being cared for by midwifes tonight while SIL is in a nice drug induced sleep. BP has started going down (suprise suprise) and they should both be in a room together tomorrow!
I hope this doesnt put her off having more. ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 7:30pm
| Man that seems soo stone age! The poor porrw women. Like everyone has said, how on earth can she relax when she cant she her baby. Crazy! |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 05 September 2011 at 9:21pm
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Agree with Deb - Id be wild!! and have huge BP - Im sure its well within her rights to demand her child - thats disgusting - she needs to throw a massive tanty and get her husband or relative to get the baby for her
Oh just read a bit more - great she has seen her bubba now and no not surprising her BP is going down Im probably a bit feisty for my own good but Id still be telling them they were out of line ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
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Posted By: Troods
Date Posted: 06 September 2011 at 1:19pm
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Glad to hear she got to see baby finally. That all seems a bit odd to me. When my DD was born early at 31 weeks for bad PE, they let me see her that night, about 6 hrs after she was born, as the Dr believed it would help reduce my BP and encourage milk production. I still had tubes and wires and a cathatar in, they helped me into a wheelchair, and the hospital MW wheeled me up to NICU with my cathatar bag hanging over the side of the wheelchair, my BP monitor and IV drip wheeled behind me so I was constantly monitored and accompanied by hospital staff while in NICU. ------------- 
 Missed MC July 2011
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Posted By: shesmiles
Date Posted: 08 September 2011 at 10:02pm
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Wow, I can't believe this. My experience was so different. My BP shot up during my C-section and I spent my first night post-birth in intensive care. They made sure we had skin to skin time and to get him to latch etc before they separated us (to be fair, my BP was getting even higher in recovery so it wasn't an 'emergency' until a bit after he was born. The next day my wee son was brought to me in ICU and a lactation consultant stripped me down and put a tube on me so we could have skin time and she tried to get him feeding etc. I was medicated and had tubes for miles, catheter etc and there was no way I could hold him, but I felt really good about the ways they were coming up with to help us both.
I hope everything settles for your SIl and her wee one really quickly. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 13 September 2011 at 8:10pm
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What she said. That is appaulling behaviour by all medical staff involved that havent thought about the mother's and baby's needs to be together! My BP would be through the roof if no one let me see my baby!
------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Bizzy wrote: