New sibling woes
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40322
Printed Date: 28 August 2025 at 5:33pm
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Topic: New sibling woes
Posted By: JessDub
Subject: New sibling woes
Date Posted: 28 August 2011 at 9:53am
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I'll cross-post this here. 51 views in Toddler Times and no replies.
When B2 arrived, DS was heartbroken. He has not taken well to the new baby, resulting in tantrums, broken sleep and he has started pushing children at daycare (he has never hit, bitten or pushed anyone before). I know it'll take time, care and attention, and we're working on it but the regular tantrums - especially when he can see I have my hands full are doing my head in and making me quite resentful and upset(if I can be honest). Normally I'll ignore a tantrum but I wonder if I should be doing something else? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Any recommended books also? ------------- 
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Replies:
Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 28 August 2011 at 10:15am
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One of the things that worked well for us was if baby was crying and I knew that he was generally ok and my 2 year old wanted something I would say to the baby 'Alex, you need to wait, I am doing something with your brother'. Its not going to mean anything to the baby of course but it puts some attention on the elder child. It worked really well for us but of course you have to pick your times that you can see it. We also let DS feed his baby brother which was hit and miss a bit but I think every little thing you do helps. Good luck ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Alex 6 and Harry 8 |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 28 August 2011 at 11:59am
| Daniels behaviour turned feral after Alex showed up. It took time for him to adjust beacause he had been the centre of our attention all his life.. but we got him a couple of new dvds and told him he could watch those while i was busy with alex because he was a horrible feeder which could take nearly an hour to get a feed into him. Daniel was really happy with this arrangement of watching thomas while mummy was busy then I made an effort to do something fun with him while Alex was asleep.. usually baking cause he loves it |
Posted By: Lucky apple
Date Posted: 28 August 2011 at 3:03pm
| Oh! you're here too...I just posted on this in the toddler thread. Just my cents worth! :-) |
Posted By: BoMama
Date Posted: 28 August 2011 at 4:22pm
We did the 'baby you have to wait' and it worked well. We also had a special box for BFing and I kept us in a routine as much as possible so that DS1 knew when was baby time and when was his time. If DS1 was throwing a tanty I would finish what I was doing with DS i.e finish wiping his bum put then pop him on the floor, or if I was BFing I'd just take him off and pop him down, then go ask DS1 if he wanted a cuddle or if he needed time out. The way I figured it DS1 would get more benefit from the attention than DS2 would get problems from the disruptions (that might not be very clear sorry). Anyway he either had a cuddle and I encouraged him to use words to tell me what he wanted or how he was feeling, or he went to his room til he could be good company (I don't let my children tantrum in the same room, it drives me mental). We rarely had any issues and being reassured that he was still important seemed to deal with any sibling issues as he adores his brother and wants more 'family babies'  HTH!
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Posted By: JessDub
Date Posted: 28 August 2011 at 4:42pm
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Thank you all. So it seems quite common for older siblings to spit the dummy, I feel a tad better. -------------
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Posted By: tibby
Date Posted: 28 August 2011 at 8:22pm
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DS1's behaviour went downhill too. He was 22 mths when DS2 was born. We were a bit softer on him for a while but when it didn't improve we went back to strict boundaries, time out etc. It did take a few months but he is much better again now. Of course it could also have been an age/timing thing. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 29 August 2011 at 12:38pm
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it is definetly normal JessDub!! I also had 22 months between my 2 and it did take awhile, I really like the idea of the baby you will have to wait idea and the something special such as a dvd or a box of special toys is great while feeding. Good luck, hope things start improving soon! ------------- Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4 
 
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Posted By: kellie
Date Posted: 29 August 2011 at 1:06pm
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Definitely normal. We had the same thing happen here. ------------- 
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