Am I the only one??? Re: child’s sleeping
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Topic: Am I the only one??? Re: child’s sleeping
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Subject: Am I the only one??? Re: child’s sleeping
Date Posted: 15 July 2011 at 10:19am
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Am wondering if it's just me or maybe I'm not alone in the world. DS is 4.5 years old....and you'd think after a year or two you'd say goodbye to sleep deprivation...but alas I haven't! DS sleeps in his own room, we have a bedtime routine, yet because DS has this thing about monsters in his bedroom (thanks to the cat giving him a heck of a fright one night outside his window)...I have to sit in his room and wait for him to go to sleep...sometimes if he's mucking around it could take a couple hours!...on good nights he's asleep 30 minutes after the bedtime routine starts. Anywhos having a full nights rest comes few and far between, most nights he comes into our room one to four times. My ears prick up as soon as I hear the door, I get up and he starts heading back to his room, climbs into bed, then back to sleep.
I guess it doesn't help the we live with so many people, and maybe that has something to do with it...but we are moving in September. I'm fine surviving on broken sleep, but I know it's not good for my boy. Just wondering if others are going through this, or have been through this and found solutions. ------------- 
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Replies:
Posted By: kellie
Date Posted: 15 July 2011 at 12:16pm
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Hey.
Sorry, no advice here, but you are not alone! DS1 has started coming into our room HEAPS of times in the night, and like you I am awake instantly when I hear the door. It's driving me mental, between him and ds2 I am getting no sleep. So yea...hopefully someone has some advice! ------------- 
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Posted By: KH25
Date Posted: 15 July 2011 at 12:37pm
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Are the "monsters" the reason he is coming in, as he is scared? If so, could you give him a torch or something and tell him if he feels scared then he can use the torch and check there are no monsters anywhere? Sticker charts for staying in bed all night etc? ------------- Kelly, mum to DD, 19Jun06 (26wks 1lb15oz) DS1, 24Oct10 (32wks 4lb11oz) and DS2, 31Dec11 (32wks, 4lb11) http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: xLUCKYx
Date Posted: 15 July 2011 at 1:10pm
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My two used to be terrible to get to bed at night - always wanting me to stay with them but they are both over two and really don't need me to keep them company while they go to sleep. We just decided enough was enough and now they are tucked in, and lights are off and that's it (after bed time routine). Sometimes they take their time going to sleep but as long as they are in bed - I really don't mind. They quite often get out of bed during the night too, which we are now working on... the trouble is they will hop in bed with me but I often don't wake up straight away... and I am too tired to get up and take them back to bed... so that's step two that we will be working on.
The main problem is that your boy probably relies on you being next to him for him to go to sleep so when you are not there when he wakes during the night he might not be able to settle back to sleep? My two can sleep by themselves but are just getting away with jumping in my bed and I know I need to just wake myself up and sort it out for a week or two and they will learn. |
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 15 July 2011 at 1:32pm
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Yeah he probably is reliant, given in the past I use to lie with him in his bed til he fell asleep. And yep I find that if he sleeps with me, or DF (as sometimes I'll just climb into his bed when he's in ours) he sleeps the whole night..though even with DF he'll sometimes come find me. I've definitely been thinking about the sticker chart KH25 so might whip one up and start it tonight. DF was asking if this is normal and what do couples with lots of children do...I was like...I think with you're first child you learn lots of things so when the next child comes along you'll know what things to do differently, and I've googled about it and its a relief to know I'm not the only one lol.
He has a night light in his room, but maybe a torch will help him out a bit. I have tried the "tuck into bed, lights out, out of the room I go", but he'll keep coming out, unless I say I'll check on him a short while after, and regularly do it. I think maybe I'll move on to that again so I'm not actually in his room, and then grade it from there. Wish I could wave a magic wand!....cos I know it'll be hard work to start with for awhile. -------------
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Posted By: k1wimum
Date Posted: 15 July 2011 at 2:07pm
| my eldest has a very vivid imagination so i understand the monsters and waking up through the night, we have a routine now of readying a nice story with soft pictures no spooky images and he gets to watch a movie as he has and old 20 inch tv in his room we have found that it is soothing for him to have that little bit of noise in the back ground and he hasnt been out of bed through the night for the last few months |
Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 15 July 2011 at 2:16pm
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Does he have a teddy of some kind? My girl won't sleep alone at all (she's a fair bit younger though) but she'll sleep all night in her own room if she's in the mood to consider her doll company. She goes through phases where she tosses it out of bed and wants us instead, but more and more she's happy as long as she's got her doll. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: LG
Date Posted: 15 July 2011 at 2:23pm
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I went to a sleep seminar once and someone said they had mixed water with drops of lavendar essential oil in a spray bottle for 'monster spray' (like fly spray), maybe that would help with the fear of monsters??
-------------  Angel Baby Aug '12, Feb '13 |
Posted By: xLUCKYx
Date Posted: 15 July 2011 at 2:47pm
| When we toughened up my youngest would still come out of bed quite frequently, but we would just take him straight back. I still do pop in to check on them frequently as well. Whatever you do will be harder the first couple of nights and get easier. DF took care of bedtime for a week and I stayed completely out of the picture at first because it was me they usually wanted. It sounds mean but it's not - it's just teaching them how to go to bed on their own which they need to know how to do at some age. |
Posted By: xLUCKYx
Date Posted: 15 July 2011 at 2:49pm
| If he really really is stuck on having you there, you could leave the room a few minutes at a time and then work your way up to being out of the room more than in it and so on... |
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 15 July 2011 at 2:51pm
One of the Mum's in my due in thread did something similar for her DD and it worked well ------------- Lindsey 
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LG wrote:Posted By: countingdown
Date Posted: 15 July 2011 at 2:56pm
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Our 3 year old went through this. We got really tired of sitting with him for up to an hour - we wanted our evening back! In the end, the only thing that worked was sitting with him for 5 minutes, and then telling him we were going to make a cup of tea and would come back. In the meantime he falls asleep and is none the wiser! Because he knows we're coming back he still feels secure. And we make sure we always do, just in case he is waiting. But 90% of the time he's not thank goodness!
With coming into our bed, my husband made up a chart. If he went one night staying in his own bed he got an iceblock, three nights it was a book, a week and he could choose a puzzle. It's worked, and we only had to do it for a week. Just a matter of breaking that habit I think. Good luck. |
Posted By: Isabella
Date Posted: 15 July 2011 at 6:44pm
My grandad used to do a magic spell each night over the phone to make sure we had a good sleep and no bad things visited us - It had us all absolutely convinced 
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 15 July 2011 at 7:41pm
I woke up this morning with the 7 1/2 year old in the bed & it was the 2 1/2yo coming into the room which woke me  I initially thought it was the other way around.
We have got a radio/cd player that she goes to sleep with everynight, maybe try that? She was a shocking sleeper when she was younger too. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: noodle
Date Posted: 15 July 2011 at 7:47pm
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My DS is good through out the night (most nights, we do get the odd night he'll wake once or twice) but for the last couple of months wakes at 5 and is awake and ready to start the day, we have tried putting him back to bed, letting him get into bed with us, getting into his bed, letting him play etc. I was googling tips lastnight and came across the http://www.thesleepstore.co.nz/shop/grobag/grobag+accessories/Gro+Clock+Sleep+Trainer.html - Gro Clock and love the concept so ordered one and it arrived this afternoon so tonight is the first night giving it a go so crossing fingers it works. We did a few 'practice' runs before bed tonight and he grasped the concept really well and seemed to love it! time will tell in the morning though lol ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 15 July 2011 at 8:27pm
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I haven't had this problem but one thing I read somewhere re the monsters was not to do anything to get rid of them or look for them - as that implies they exist. So you should just tell kids that there are no monsters. Makes sense I guess.
My sis had trouble with her 3yr old getting out of bed - what worked for her with that was a clock with a monkey and he doesn't open his eyes til morning, she can't get up til his eyes are open. If she stays in bed til morning she gets a sticker - a whole week and she gets a toy. Has worked for them. ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
Posted By: BriAndOlisMum
Date Posted: 15 July 2011 at 9:26pm
I have seen them do this on supernanny, tell him you will be back to check that hes ok and start by going back after 1 min, then next time a 2 min gap, then 3 min and so on, he will eventually fall asleep waiting for you to come back. or else another one I have seen is each night you move your chair closer to the door until eventually one night you are out the door in the hall and then down the hall etc. -------------  http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: hannibal
Date Posted: 15 July 2011 at 9:34pm
| Hi - you aren't the only one! We have just moved cities and her whole routine is out - no daycare (two stops before getting to the final stop) and now nighttimes are a nightmare! She is in and out of bed up to ten times (over a two hour period), if I hear her I'm straight up and straight back to the room but unfortunately hubby let her cuddle with him the other night when I was out so for the pass few nights its even worse and if I dear say anything we are at each others throats as well. |
Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 16 July 2011 at 8:36am
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Thomas has a monster slaying sword. Its a cheap little plastic sword from the $2. After the nightly routine of mummy going in and telling all the monsters to sod off else i'll smack their bottoms, Thomas gets into bed with his plastic sword at the ready to bonk any over the head should they come and annoy him! Works really well :D
This was all because Thomas would do the same thing. Up and down all blimmin night. he does wake up at 4am on the dot every morning no matter what time he goes to bed at night - but at least its not all night. I just MADE him get back into his room. Wether he stayed in bed or not wasnt my issue - he just needed to stay in that room. We've used all the clocks and aids imaginable to get him to stay in bed, but they dont work. They're marketing crap. ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 17 July 2011 at 4:49pm
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Thanks for the great ideas, and it's nice to know I'm not alone.
I talked to DS and asked why we comes into our room during the night and he said it's because he's scared, so I asked him what would help him to not be scared during the night......first answer....."if you stay with me"...lol So I told him that mummy can't stay with you all night, what other ideas do you think might work...and I rattled off some suggestions of which he thought having a torch would be a good idea as he can check around his room. So we have got him a torch, gonna get him to put stickers on it and make it look cool. I've made up a Disney cars chart with the bedtime routine that we can check off as we go...and then the two "obstacles" going to sleep, and staying in his room...and each night he achieves these goals he'll get a stamp on his chart..leading to some kind of prize. I think I'll do the graded minutes thing aswell...and monster spray lol. Will start it all tomorrow as I need to print off the chart. -------------
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Posted By: KH25
Date Posted: 17 July 2011 at 6:53pm
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Awesome, good work Eva! Let us know how you get on! ------------- Kelly, mum to DD, 19Jun06 (26wks 1lb15oz) DS1, 24Oct10 (32wks 4lb11oz) and DS2, 31Dec11 (32wks, 4lb11) http://lilypie.com">
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