joint accounts/seperate accounts Q
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Topic: joint accounts/seperate accounts Q
Posted By: High9
Subject: joint accounts/seperate accounts Q
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 8:59am
Hi,
My partner and I currently have our own seperate accounts but he's mentioned lately getting a joint account or in his words 'How about you close your account and we make mine our joint account.' ...
I was just wondering for those of you who have a joint account, do you also still have your own seperate accounts or do you just share the one account?
I'm pretty firm that I want to keep my bank account and he should keep his for himself and we should open a new one for both of us... Is that normal practice?
We've been together 4, nearly 5, years and have just got our own place after living with family so think a joint account will be best to have money going to and from for bills etc.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated?
(We also both bank with the same bank.)
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Replies:
Posted By: Nothing
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 9:09am
My ex and I got a seperate joint account and kept our own personal ones. It meant that our own spending money could be kept seperate from the bills money and no-one could overspend into the bills money. I would just open a new joint account and both keep your own private ones.
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Posted By: Jaune
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 9:14am
We're the same - we have our own accounts and a joint account. When I was working we both put a set amount into the joint account to cover mortgage, bills, entertainment etc and the rest of our money was ours to do with what we liked from our own accounts. Now that I'm not working DP has just upped what he puts into the joint account to cover bills etc seeing as I'm not contributing.
My sister does it the other way around...everything goes into their joint account and a set amount into their own accounts for personal spending each week.
Guess it just comes down to what works for you...
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Posted By: mothermercury
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 9:29am
What we used to do (obviously does not apply any more) was a bit higgledy piggledy, but here's what I would have done if I had to do it again:
Each has their own separate account. Then have a joint/separate account for bills and put a certain amount of money into it each pay day.
Rent, phone/internet bills, electricity bills, groceries, WOFs and regos, etc, would all come out of this account, and the money in the separate accounts would be left for each person to use as they wanted.
Of course, this means that you have to really budget and know exactly how much you need to put in there. It means that the bills money is separate and you don't accidentally spend it. Also, he doesn't accidentally spend your sanity money, and vice versa.
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 9:29am
I just closed mine and made his our joint. We have total money though with bnz so we can have like 10 accounts.. so we each have one of those for our own spending money. But it's still all joint.
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Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 9:39am
I remember my DH asking if I wanted a joint bank account on our honey moon, so romantic! I was completely anti the idea for about a year but then came around and it works brilliantly for us. They key is to have a household budget so that you know how much you have to spend on various things throughout the month eg: if you set $100 on clothes for the month you can't go over that. That way there are no arguments.
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Posted By: RicKer
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 9:41am
We have a joint account that all the money goes into but we also have our own accounts for spending money. It just gets transferred to us from the joint account. That way it is fair and all the bills get paid.
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Posted By: _H_
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 10:42am
Our pay goes into our own accounts and then so much goes into our joint account. the bills and shopping is done out of that money, and we put extra in so if we dont feel like cooking there is normally takeaway money
Even though its our account DF doesnt want an EFTPOS card for it because he is crap with money and doesnt trust himself with one (but I would)
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Posted By: Delli
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 10:55am
We opened a new joint bank account and closed down our old individual ones. Kept the old ones for a little while but there really wasn't any point as neither of us have spending habits that annoy the other.
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Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 11:00am
We only have joint accounts. We are also with BNZ & have 10 accounts. So one for bills, savings, etc etc
We have to budget so we both just spend out of the cheque account but we know our limits & keep an eye on what we spend
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 11:28am
I think do whatever works for you - there's not a right or wrong way to do it
We just have the one account any money either of us makes goes into, and any money either of us spends goes out of. We also have a couple of joint savings account (one 'plain' savings, and one I put some 'baby' money into before Jacob was born - good thing there's still some there for the next one!). That works for us, and we have very few 'discussions' about it - but it wouldn't work for everyone.
ETA that this probably works so well for us because DH doesn't spend money. Seriously, the man would rather go without lunch than buy it , and most of his spending goes on fishing or tramping stuff that's kind of pricey, so we have to budget it in anyway. We probably spend the same amount on non-essential things, he just spends all his in one lump every so often. Me, I'll spend mine on chocolate
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 11:31am
We have a joint account for the house and separate accounts for our spending.
My WFF goes into my spending account so that's my money for DD and I for the week to pay for petrol and any activities we go and do.
Dh has his own money and has part of his wages paid directly into the house account which then pays for the mortgage, rates, insurance, power and phone. Now that we are on naked broadband our phone is a flat rate and we use direct pay for the power so its the same each month as well.
DH tends to use his CC for anything he buys then pays it off at the end of the month.
I have visa debt so I can still purchase stuff online.
I'm happy with how this works I don't like having to ask Dh for money.
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Angel June 2012
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 11:48am
Miss Shell, that's the plan, we've got a very, very tight budget atm and I reall couldn' see it working as if there is money sitting in the account I couldn't guarantee that DP wouldn't spend it iygwim!
So looks like we'll keep our accounts and have a joint account as well and just put money for bills, etc into that and leave our own 'pocket' money in our own accounts.
Thanks everyone!
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Posted By: CrazyCass
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 12:33pm
DH still has an acc with National - simply because the mortgage is with them & I don't want to spend $600-$1000 to get my name added to it.
Other than that 100% of our money is in a joint acc with Westpac, we did this about a year ago and had been together about 2.5years. DH is great all he wants is to have money for a full tank of diesel to go hunting, everything else is up to me.
My parents only have joint accounts so it seemed 'normal to me' though I know my Ex's parents only shared their mortgage account took turns to pay power/phone etc - its honestly what you feel most comfortable doing.
Money is the main cause of fights in relationships so keep it to what works :)
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Posted By: kiwikt
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 12:49pm
We have both joint and separate accounts. Out separate accounts are only used for our 'spending money' so each of us gets an allowance out of our pays to do what we want with it - not much. $100 a week each. Everything else is done though our joint account.
I just find it easier to budget if we are not dipping into the joint account to buy our lunch each day. Much easier if that comes from our own accounts and we can each be responsible for our own discretionary spending. That way if DH wants to go play golf or drinking with the boys then he pays for it himself. If he doesnt have enough money do do something then we talk about it and a certain amount is transferred from the joint account (e.g. I did a girls weekend and he did a boys weekend - we each got $250 from the joint account to top up our own money).
------------- Due 14/10/11
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Posted By: M.i.s.s.y
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 12:49pm
We are almost exactly the same as Hopes, but only have the 1 joint account,thats it. as DH hardly EVER spends any money, so its never been an issue. i do all the bill paying/shopping, & about once a year he goes & buys himself some hunting gear etc.
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 2:14pm
We have one joint account that DH's salary goes into and I spend it Haha no, we also have a household budget but I pay all the monthly/day to day bills while he deals with the mortgage and tax bill. Any money I make doing casual work goes into the same joint account for both of us. We don't have a separate "savings" account.
I think if there's a chance one or both of you will dip into savings/bill money then it is a good idea to have a separate account with spending money in so once it's gone each week (or whatever) then it's gone and you also don't need to justify your sanity spending to anyone IYGWIM.
------------- SJ
Callum - Dec 2008
Daniel - Oct 2010
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Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 2:28pm
We do $50 each weekly pocket money which is for lunches and booze and draw it out as cash I tend to spend all of mine on sushi and wine When it's gone, it's gone, and so much easier when it is cash because you know exactly how much you have left and can't overspend.
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 4:56pm
Hopes wrote:
ETA that this probably works so well for us because DH doesn't spend money. |
Hehehe same in our house!
As soon as DH and I decided to buy a house together (we had been together 5yrs by then) we closed our separate accounts and we only have joint accounts. By my thinking we share a house, eachother and now children so why not money as well. All the money goes into the account and I pay all the bills. DH hardly ever spends any money unless he does household shopping. We have never had personal spending money, we just both seem to know how much to spend (or not spend) from the joint accounts.
You just need to do what works for you. If DH was a big spender on 'nothing' then I would probably give him spending money or a separate account but he is good so no need
------------- Lindsey
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Posted By: luvmylittlies
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 5:20pm
Like some of the others we have separate accounts as well as a joint account. I'm a tight arse and my boyfriend, well, isn't. So it was driving me nuts how much he was spending and I was driving him nuts being scrooge. So we agreed to put in a set amount each fortnight into the joint account and that's all our together stuff, mortgage, bills, food, holidays, etc and yet he still has his money to spend without me having fits and I can save mine without it impacting on him.
But now I've not been working for a while it seems a bit odd since it's mostly just him contributing to the joint account. I think at some stage I'll ditch mine and we'll just have the joint ones but I really needed the transitional stage first.
------------- Adoring Mum to Talisin 8/9/11 and Kiara 18/01/10
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 6:24pm
We opened a joint account when we got married. We closed our separate account.
We don't see the point in having separate accounts as we are married so all the money goes into one.
I pay the bills, I buy what I want & DH asks me if he wants something...works for us.
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 7:16pm
We use DH's account as our joint with me having signing authority etc, as the mortgage is through that account so it was too much of a hassle to change.
We have about 10 accounts through Westpac, so each of us gets our $25 a week spending money, then the mortgage goes to one account, the kids each have a savings account, the main account is for bills (they come out on payday so gone before we even see the money), and have accounts for holidays/general savings etc.
Works for us, but when we buy our next house and the mortgage is in both of our names it will become fully joint.
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Posted By: NZ-rules
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 7:23pm
We got a joint account when we went to the UK (we'd been together 3 years), but kept our own ones for 'play money'. We went down to joint accounts only when we got a mortgage, and now we just consult each other on big purchases (like over $200), otherwise we just spend what we like out of the joint money.
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 9:02pm
I honestly couldn't see DP sharing money haha!
Iterestingly his parents have separate accounts and just their mortgage account is the joint account. My grandparents had 1 joint account and my grandma was great at saving and my granddad was great at spending it...
Amy, that's a good idea too!
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 9:12pm
My parents have always had joint accounts only so maybe that is why joint accounts seem natural to me
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Posted By: londonbaby
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 9:37pm
jazzy wrote:
We opened a joint account when we got married. We closed our separate account.
We don't see the point in having separate accounts as we are married so all the money goes into one.
I pay the bills, I buy what I want & DH asks me if he wants something...works for us. |
This pretty much sums us up with...we swapped to joint once engaged. I see it as "our" money so we don't have to ask for permission if we want something, we are just sensible about it :)
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 10:31pm
Everything has been completely joint here for so many years I forget how it all started. He earns the money I control it LMAO actually wish he'd pay the bills but he's too busy.
------------- Kel
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A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
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Posted By: Richie
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 11:12pm
we currently have separate accounts but will be getting a joint account when we get married in Nov. I think we will still keep our own accounts tho cause DF earns more than I do so I think he should be entitled to his own money. I know I do my bit by spending time at home with DD but he works hard so he should be able to spend money on himself. I work 20hrs a week and with what I have left once rent goes out is enough for me to put some into a joint account and have a wee bit left for a coffee or two during the week. DF often gives me a hundy to go and get clothes etc or get my hair done. But a joint account would make paying the bills a whole lot easier!!
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 04 June 2011 at 7:02am
nzlisajo wrote:
I think we will still keep our own accounts tho cause DF earns more than I do so I think he should be entitled to his own money. |
See, that's a foreign concept to me. Not knocking you at all, because like I said earlier I think there's no 'right' way of doing things, and whatever works and feels right for you is right. But from my point of view, once we got married everything became 'ours', no matter who earnt what. The one account works well for us - if we were both spenders I can see that agreeing on spending money and having seperate accounts to keep it in would work well too. But I can't imagine him getting $50 spending money a week because at the moment he earns more, and me getting $10 or whatever because at the moment I earn stuff all.
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Posted By: SquishysMum
Date Posted: 04 June 2011 at 1:14pm
I'll go against the grain too, and confess that we have totally separate accounts! Foreign concept to a lot of people, but it works for us! DH is the money man, he pays all the bills/mortgage etc, and I work from home earning enough to buy our groceries each week and stuff for the kids (basically my own spending money).
I am a spender, we have TOTALLY different $$ styles, so keeping things separate works for us. I used to pay 'rent' into the flat account (we also have had flatmates - still have one!) and money would come out of that for groceries etc, but I don't bother any more (haven't done since I stopped working before DD).
DH is pretty good when I need extra $$, I do have access to some of his accounts but I don't access it without talking to him first, and only if REALLY needed. I find it helps keep my spending in check, and we are actually getting set up reasonably well for the future with DH's way with money. I like earning my own money, it actually makes me feel more independent and worthwhile (in my own head!).
Maybe one day things will change, but it's been working well for us for the last 7 years, and we are both happy with the arrangement.
ETA - our assets are all 'ours', it's just cashflow that we keep separate.
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Posted By: Richie
Date Posted: 04 June 2011 at 1:28pm
Personally, I just couldn't say to DF (once we get married) 'OK, we are married now, therefore everything is ours, not yours and mine'. OK, so the household things/bills etc are 'ours' but I still think it's important to have your own money to do your own thing everynow and again without having to consult with the other person. Be it going for lunch with a friend, or buying clothes etc. DF earns the most (almost triple what I earn a week) and he pays all the bills (altho we do go halvies on rent) so by the time he has paid all the bills, he is left with basically the same as what I get, so I don't expect him to give me anything, or make his moey available to me to spend, unless it is something important for the family.
As much as I hate going to work (it is only 20hrs a week), I love being able to earn my own money, and be able to contribute here and there. It also makes me feel like I have at least some of my independence left. I'd feel selfish if I was a stay at home mum 100% of the time and he had to pay for everything. That's just me tho
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Posted By: Panda289
Date Posted: 04 June 2011 at 1:30pm
Pretty much from the start we have had a joint account (I closed my personal one and joined his bank) as we have absolutely no issue with sharing money. We have a couple of different accounts as part of it so just put away money for bills and savings etc and the rest is shared spending money. We just use our separate credit cards to buy stuff we didn't want the other to know about (mainly birthday/xmas presents).
It works for us but all our friends are the opposite and have separate accounts so I think its just a personal preference thing
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Posted By: blossombaby
Date Posted: 04 June 2011 at 10:23pm
Interesting topic!
We have always shared money as such .. with whatever eftpos card you have use. Until we got a joint bank account and it just made it easy as everything was coming in and out of the one account.
DP earns much more then me - and if we were to half everything I would be in the red every week lol!!
I like the way it works - personally think its odd living with kids etc and having seperate accounts, tho know its works for some people i guessing in cases when ones a super saver and ones a super spender?? I don't tell DP what i'm buying and he doesn't tell me unless its a bigish item over $200 say and its more to let the other know .. we bothlike to spend money lol!! and we don't get pocket money as such I would hate to tell DP he can only spend a certain amount when hes hard at work all week earning the bucks!!
I guess my parents always had joint accounts while growing up and I always thought It was what you do .. it only acured to me a few years ago some married/defacto couples don't!
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 05 June 2011 at 9:18pm
I've always earned more than DP until recently so have never had an issue 'sharing' but my DP doesn't seem the same (way his father was). I guess we may just have to trial both and see which works better...
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Posted By: Tyrbear
Date Posted: 05 June 2011 at 9:47pm
Hopes wrote:
nzlisajo wrote:
I think we will still keep our own accounts tho cause DF earns more than I do so I think he should be entitled to his own money. |
See, that's a foreign concept to me. Not knocking you at all, because like I said earlier I think there's no 'right' way of doing things, and whatever works and feels right for you is right. But from my point of view, once we got married everything became 'ours', no matter who earnt what. The one account works well for us - if we were both spenders I can see that agreeing on spending money and having seperate accounts to keep it in would work well too. But I can't imagine him getting $50 spending money a week because at the moment he earns more, and me getting $10 or whatever because at the moment I earn stuff all. |
I agree, we split everything 50/50. Would be a bit hard on DH who is a SAHD.
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Posted By: Kazper
Date Posted: 05 June 2011 at 10:28pm
We have joint account. We have the BNZ total home so we make extra accounts and put money in them for things we want to save for like birthdays etc
We did this years ago before evening buying a house or getting married. I earned so much less than DH and struggled, even though I worked my bum off and had much longer hours than DH. It was his idea so we would be equal. It works well. We have an automatic payment set up for money to go in to a bills account every week so everything is taken care of and any money left over is for groceries, petrol and to be disbursed in to different savings accounts etc. We have never had spending money. If I need something I will try and get it and same with DH.
DH very rarely buys anything. Even when it comes to lunches I'm sure he doesn't eat a lot of the time. He is always more worried of me going without which is silly, but sweet. I try to get him to buy things for himself every now and then so it doesn't feel like he is contributing, but not getting anything in return.
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Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 05 June 2011 at 11:12pm
When we moved to Aus (5 years ago) we made all our accounts joint, dunno why, I guess it just seemed easier at the time. I pretty much control it all, DH cant be assed with it, so I look after the finances. We've never had any problems with money and were very open about how we spend our money.
Before we left NZ we were (still are) on separate accounts with one joint account. When we get home we will probably use our joint account like we do here and keep the separate ones as well.
------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived
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Posted By: TheBabe
Date Posted: 06 June 2011 at 5:37pm
kebakat wrote:
We have total money though with bnz so we can have like 10 accounts.. so we each have one of those for our own spending money. But it's still all joint. |
Ditto!
I was in a longterm relationship where our accounts were definitely separate and comparing it to DH and I having joint accounts I much prefer this. We get our own fuel/spending money into our own accounts, bill money into that account, money for the boys into their accounts and so on.
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Posted By: Hails1
Date Posted: 06 June 2011 at 5:56pm
DH and I have been together for 7 years and married for over a year. We have separate accounts which our salaries get paid into from there we have an automatic transfer into our joint account for living, bills, holidays, savings etc. Our personal accounts have what we call 'sanity money' ( a set amount of money each week i.e. $150)in which is for anything else we want to buy.
For us it works really well, the majority of our money goes into the joint account. But we still have a little independence with our separate accounts. DH recently surprised me with a weekend away from his sanity money, which wouldn't have been a surprise had it come from our joint account.
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Posted By: TheBabe
Date Posted: 06 June 2011 at 7:17pm
nzlisajo wrote:
It also makes me feel like I have at least some of my independence left. I'd feel selfish if I was a stay at home mum 100% of the time and he had to pay for everything. That's just me tho |
I struggled with this at first but since I was a SAHM when we moved in together it wasn't so much of an issue as it might have been if we'd been together and I'd been working beforehand. Now we have 2 kids and knowing what alot of work goes into keeping our particular home running, combined with the fact that DH would go nuts if he couldn't work, its totally not a factor. If either of us want something big we just budget for it together - DH actually gets the better end of that deal lol I like bargainhunting too much to just go get what I want full-price but he just wants it asap
------------- Formerly 'Babe'
Mama to my beautiful, busy boys
Jake 01-07-2007
Tyler 20-02-2010
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 06 June 2011 at 7:57pm
Babelicious wrote:
nzlisajo wrote:
It also makes me feel like I have at least some of my independence left. I'd feel selfish if I was a stay at home mum 100% of the time and he had to pay for everything. That's just me tho |
I struggled with this at first but since I was a SAHM when we moved in together it wasn't so much of an issue as it might have been if we'd been together and I'd been working beforehand. |
Gosh I have never struggled with this! I have been a SAHM for 4yrs now and have no problems with DH earning all the money. IMO I work just as hard as he does, just unfortunately no one sees fit to pay me for the work . I have always gone out and bought the things I need as well although I very rarely need anything, and limit the paid activities (and lunches out ) I do with the kids. I suppose DH and I have never been ones to go out and spend lots of money on clothes, night out etc, all our money seems to go on the house so maybe that is why we have never had any problems
------------- Lindsey
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Posted By: amalyse
Date Posted: 06 June 2011 at 11:51pm
kebakat wrote:
I just closed mine and made his our joint. We have total money though with bnz so we can have like 10 accounts.. so we each have one of those for our own spending money. But it's still all joint. |
Pretty much what we have 3 chequing accounts - 1 where all the money goes, 1 for each of our allowances
1 savings account
1 credit card we keep in a draw for online shopping and to get points.
We save so much more money then when we were both trotting around with our gold credit card in our wallets!
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Posted By: kellie
Date Posted: 07 June 2011 at 10:17am
We technically have our own accounts, but free access to either one. We use the money in mine to pay the bills, and use his to pay for food shopping, petrol, whatever we want to buy etc
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