Surnames for your baby
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39192
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Topic: Surnames for your baby
Posted By: ereynolds
Subject: Surnames for your baby
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 12:17pm
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Some people I know are due to have their bubba soon. They aren't married so don't have the same surname and are currently debating about naming bub when he/she arrives. His/hers/hyphenated/brand new?
So I'm curious to know- for those who don't share the same surname as their other half (for whatever reason), how did you go about choosing which surname to use? And when did you make the decision? ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 12:19pm
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I think the usual thing is to either hyphenate or to take the fathers name if they are living together.
There are married people who keep their own names & I think they do similar to above. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 12:20pm
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my oldest is hyphenated and younger two have dad's name...
------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: AbzandH
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 12:30pm
| My boy has dads name, for the simple fact he is what i'd describe as a proper father. If I weren't with him, and if he had nothing to do with him then i would have considered my name. |
Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 12:53pm
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Mine has my name - his father and i are seperated - but before we split i had decided on my name anyway. Mostly for practicality as it'd be me taking him to appoitments and everything and thought it sounded easier. Besides i like the sound of my surname better. And the name i wanted to use sounded crap with his surname. And if i'm totally honest because he assumed we'd take his name and it got up my hormonal pregnant nose that he'd make that assumption so i rebelled. *blush*
I don't know that its actually easier that we have the same surname but i have heard of people having trouble travelling when the kids have a different surname on their passports - they had to have birth certificates as well. Oh - a couple i know used the fathers last name and gave the mothers surname as a middlename (or vice-versa i can't remember). |
Posted By: Jaune
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 1:09pm
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DS has DP's surname...we live together and eventually it'll be my surname too!
I did joke about giving him my surname until we got married or at least engaged but it didn't prompt a proposal! 
My surname is a boy's name so we considered using it for a baby boy as first name or middle name but it didn't go with DP's surname at all. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 1:10pm
I travelled with DS1 quite a bit before I got my new passport (with my married name) and have never had an issue with us having different surnames 
On the original topic, all my friends who have kept their own surname or aren't married to their baby's father have given him their father's surname. Actually, that's not true. One of my girlfriends recently gave her baby boy HER surname (she is married to the father but kept her own name). ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Bowie wrote:Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 1:15pm
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My aunt and uncle aren't married and thier 3 kids have my uncle's surname ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: Kalimirella
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 1:16pm
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We gave our daughter a hyphenated version of both of ours, tbh were she a boy I probably would've quite happily just went with his but it didn't sound right with her name and I actually like the individuality of my surname.
Therefore all subsequent children will have the same for simplicity. ------------- Kiara is 3 and Teagan is 2, now we're expecting our long awaited 3rd! http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Danda08
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 2:03pm
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I hyphenated my surname with my DH's when we got married but our two girls have his surname.
I don't have any strong feelings about my (maiden) surname but couldn't get my head around dropping it just because I got married, hence hyphenating. And I didn't want my girls to have a double barrelled name - it's a pain TBH I made the decisions, DH just had to live with them, hehe ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 2:10pm
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My sister gave her DD her partners surname as they were engaged and planned to get married. she told DP they had to be married before DD got to school so they all had the same surname by then! ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 2:11pm
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I am married but kept my own name and both boys have my surname. Hubby is free to change his surname to join us any time but feels that it would be like losing his identity. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 2:18pm
Same here. Can't really comment on the OP as my kids have DHs surname, but then I took his name when we got married. |
Posted By: Mucky_Tiger
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 2:55pm
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i like my name but wouldnt burdon a baby with it only to have to change it when me and DP marry, and DP like his (alot).
Our names so don't hypenate well (Tosh-Paterson or Paterson-Tosh) so our kids will have DP's name (Paterson) it will just work out easier to not have to change their names, and my name...that said we will maybe be married before we have kids - if DP ever gets around to proposing
Oh and i was 5 when my parents finally married and I was a Tosh from birth (Dads last name) |
Posted By: sbeach
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 3:13pm
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We are married but I went hyphenated as I wanted to keep my maiden name but also wanted DH's. DD has the same surname as me then but it ends on DH's name IYGWIM mine-his. When making booking for the family I use DH's name as it is shorter and doesnt require spelling...
DH did say he would go hyphenated too but it requires a change by deedpoll and he only got as far as printing off the forms 2 years ago!!! I have stopped asking. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: mum2ollie
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 3:21pm
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Both my son and my soon to be born son have DPs surname. I plan to be with him forever (if he'll keep me) and he's the father of my children so yeah. We never even discussed it, it was just how it happened. -------------   
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Posted By: millymollymandy
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 5:01pm
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I'm married with same surname, but I would like to give the next baby my maiden name as a middle if its a boy as the are no boys in my family this generation (11 girls tho).
SIL is married kept her name and gave the baby her name too. The possibilities are endless. |
Posted By: _H_
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 5:26pm
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I will be married when i finally get pregnant but if i wasnt baby would have DFs last name.
You do have to make sure it doesnt get to complicated, my cousins DS has hyphenated name (hers and his fathers) when she got married her and her husband both hyphenated their names then his kids names are hyphenated as well (his and their mothers) Means that there is 3 different surnames in their house! 
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Posted By: Delli
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 5:45pm
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Our boys have hyphenated surnames.
We decided long before trying to conceive as it was an important issue for me. They are both our boys, so it made sense that they should have both our names. I would keep my surname if we ever got married. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Richie
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 7:07pm
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Interesting thread - I'd never thought of doing anything but taking my DF's surname when we get married, or hyphenating (plus, our last names would sound daft together). And had never heard of children taking their mother's surname if the mother keeps her maiden name. My DF and I are getting married this November but DD has his last name but we were engaged when we had her so I never even considered doing anyhing else -------------  
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Posted By: sarahm
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 8:56pm
Floyd has DP's surname, and my surname as one of his middle names. So many people get confused and think that it is hyphenated, they dont seem to get that he has two middle names.  ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">  
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 10:18pm
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Was never a second thought for me either.
I do have an ex-colleague whose children had his wife's last name - but she's Spanish and apparently that's quite common (or so he said - girls get the mum's last name, boys get the dad's?) It does get confusing when addressing parents at school, but is the norm for kids to have different last names to one of the parents (over half my kids have different names to their mothers anyway) |
Posted By: julz85
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 10:19pm
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my daughter has my surname as her dad and i broke up when i was pregnant . i have been with my current partner since dd was 4months old (shes just about 2 now) so i guess the day may come when i will have to choose to keep her name as my last name or change it to dps lastname (if he were to adopt her if we ever get married for example) , if we did get married i would take his last name so i wouldnt want to leave dd out as the only one with a different last name (dp has a daughter too and she has his last name and her mothers heifinated) ). ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: mum2ollie
Date Posted: 16 May 2011 at 10:23pm
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I think people just need to do what is right for them really. -------------
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 17 May 2011 at 12:47am
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my daughter has a hyphenated surname.
Her dad's name first,and it WAS my maiden name last,when I married (not to her biological father) we unofficially changed that so now she has her bio dad's surname first,then the same surname as me,her (step)dad,her brother and sister. Basically it went from being Caityn F***** M****** to Caitlyn F***** S******* ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 17 May 2011 at 8:13am
| Totally forgot about this - but i have a german friend who got all viking and gave their son his first name as a last name + son. (clemensson) in the style of ivarson, svenson etc. I thought that was totally cool but no doubt not for everyone!! |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 17 May 2011 at 10:59am
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I wasn't married with my oldest was born but he still got DH's surname. |
Posted By: rorylex
Date Posted: 17 May 2011 at 7:41pm
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we werent married when we had our 1st but we were together and i didnt want my kids to have my last night so they all have Dh's surname. only our last baby we we married when he was born. i was looking forward to having Baby of L******* on his hospital bracelet but hospital stuffed that up. so maybe our next baby will.
it does make alot of things easier to have the same surname like school and playcentre things. ------------- Mummy to 4 boys Samuel - 18.6.05 Rory - 15.7.06 Mason - 13.06.08 Emmett - 24.01.10 Baby #5 - cooking |
Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 17 May 2011 at 7:52pm
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All my children with have there fathers last name. We dont plan on marrying but if we did i would also change name -------------  
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Posted By: Bexta
Date Posted: 17 May 2011 at 8:04pm
DD has DP's surname, was never really discussed between us but we both wanted that. My surname is an English sounding name with a French spelling. Ironically (or stupidly??) we gave DD an English sounding first name with a French spelling  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Angel Baby June 2010 
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Posted By: M2K
Date Posted: 17 May 2011 at 8:19pm
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My girls have their fathers surname, mine will eventually be the same. He was upset when he saw her hospital band with my surname haha.
DP did ask if I wanted the girls to have my surname but I figured that when we do get married we would have to change their names also. ------------- 
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 18 May 2011 at 10:05am
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I'm hyphenated, my choice. Didn't take DH's surname as I didn't want my oldest to lose his identity to me.
My oldest son has my maiden name My daughter has a hyphenated name mine then DH's My youngers has DH's. Oldest didn't want to take DH's name when we got married. Daughter has hyphenated because we weren't married when I had her... when she's older if she wants to drop my name she can. Youngest was always going to have DH's surname. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 18 May 2011 at 10:30am
| My kids have their Dads name, it's hyphenated anyway so I couldn't add mine even if I wanted to. A friend of mine's parents made up a last name for him as they weren't married. They never had anymore children and he hated being the only one with his name so he changed it by deed poll to his Dad's surname. |
Posted By: JD
Date Posted: 18 May 2011 at 2:33pm
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My eldest has hyphenated names with myself and her father. I only agreed to that since she was a girl and i figured she would change it when she gets married. If she was a boy, I would have given her my name only. I actually wish she only had my name since I makes me cringe when I see her father take credit at her success now when he hasn't done anything to help her get there. Might be petty, but thats just how I feel She can use whatever name she wants. If she wanted to drop my maiden name and use my married that would be fine, but she doesnt want to do that. She is old enough for it to make a big difference changing her name now.
My two younger ones both have DH's name since we were married before they were conceived and I have his name also. My brother had 3 kids with his wife before they were married. she gave them all her name and when they got married, she had them all changed to the new married name. Quite a good way of going about it really. Just my opionion and I dont mean to offend anyone, but I think the father shouldnt get naming rights until he does decent by the mother by marrying her (unless of course she doesnt believe in marriage). I don't know of any guys who have consistantly been a good dad to their children who live with their mother. Just my opinion ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 18 May 2011 at 3:46pm
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DD has DF's surname. I still consider her to be more a part of my family then his though probably first grandchild thing.
Had we had a conversation we had when DD was about 4weeks before DD was born then she probably would have ended up with my name. He basically said that he wouldn't have minded her having my surname as she would eventually change the surname anyway when she got married. He also thinks it would be easier for her to have my name because its an english name instead of her having his Samoan name. He has grown up being prejudiced against because of his surname and doesn't want that to happen to DD considering she will probably end up looking just like an extremely tanned person lol. When we get married I won't be taking his name, well I might hyphenate it. I thought it was funny when we had a family meeting with his family and his dad was happy myself and DF were getting married and his sister and her partner announced they were getting married as his dad actually said "it's important that the children have the same name as both parents" I almost choked. DF knows I'm not going to be just M, I will probably be M*** E**** ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: luvmylittlies
Date Posted: 19 May 2011 at 12:39pm
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We chose mine. It was weird - we just happily settled on mine without much discussion and everyone in all the families seemed content with that. None of the hyphenated names sounded right and my boyfriends parents are divorced and we were knew we'd upset whichever side we didn't use if we chose one of his. Plus his 2 options were not highly desirable surnames. ------------- Adoring Mum to Talisin 8/9/11 and Kiara 18/01/10 |
Posted By: leaupeepz
Date Posted: 20 May 2011 at 4:00pm
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My daughter has her father's surname. We're engaged. He was ready to put up an argument if I had refused his name or decide to hyphenate. But I had no doubt in my mind that our daughter will have his surname only.
I have 4 brothers so I wasnt too worried about whose going to carry my fathers name (though their wives have hyphenated their names). My partner only has nieces so theres noone to carry his father's name, and yes theres that pressure on us to have a boy in the near future.. X fingers crossed X ------------- Miss Peyton Winterstein's mummy |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 20 May 2011 at 4:26pm
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Interesting! DD has DPs surname, if we ever got married I would take his name and as the father I felt he had 'earned the right'.
As a child my parents weren't married and I took my father's name. My parents split when I was about 1 years and I went on holiday with my mum and grandparents and they got questioned at the airport due to me having a different name, etc and actually missed their flight! I had my name changed when I was 5 to my mums last name (my current last name) as I hadn't seen my dad since I was about 1 and just made things 'less complicated'. If DP and I ever split I probably would look at changing DDs name - although that is quite a hassle and even now I always have to state that I have had a name change on everything! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: bext1
Date Posted: 21 May 2011 at 10:05pm
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Never really thought about this one, but all 4 boys have their Dad's surname. the only thing will be when DP and I finally get married, then DS1 will be the odd name out, as he has his Dad's surname (the ex). ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 22 May 2011 at 11:22am
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all of my boys have DHs surname, DS10 was nearly 2 when we got married ------------- Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4 
 
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