Sleeping through the night help!
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Topic: Sleeping through the night help!
Posted By: SpecialK
Subject: Sleeping through the night help!
Date Posted: 05 May 2011 at 8:48am
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So after 6.5 months of broken sleep we really have to do something about DD's sleeps! She settles really well for her naps and at night, BUT then she is up every 2 hours, 3 hours if we are lucky. At the moment she is in a sleeping bag, arms wrapped and in a safety sleep with a dummy. (We tried leaving her unwrapped but she just had a lot of trouble settling - she kept pulling her dummy out and playing with it and then getting really worked up. Socks on her hands did the trick for a bit but after a while she got the hang of getting dummy out even with the socks). When she wakes up around 10pm we feed her, but then she just seems to want her dummy. So we are up replugging her all night, and sometimes even then it doesn't work - she spits it out and then we can be up every 10-20 mins. She is not hungry, because when we offer her a bottle she drinks a bit and then spits it out. I am so tired I can't really think straight about what to do from here and how to get her to sleep through.
She is in a good routine during the day, the night time routine has been the same from day one and she settles really really well. Oh, and my two kids are sharing a room. So any thoughts and advice would be much appreciated! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Replies:
Posted By: LG
Date Posted: 05 May 2011 at 8:55am
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Have you had a look at the sleep store website? Theres heaps of information on there and lots of things to try. I know they mostly recommend the verbal reassurance technique but theres other no-cry ones and a plan to get kids used to sleeping without dummys too.
(Sorry, thats not any specific advice) Good luck! -------------  Angel Baby Aug '12, Feb '13 |
Posted By: SophieD
Date Posted: 05 May 2011 at 9:23am
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Oh specialk I'm with you! My dd sounds almost exactly the same ( except we don't wrap) but we have a dummy and last night I was up 6 times from 11pm to 6:30!
We have just gotten into a habit if feeding her when she wakes at 3:30am in the hope that she would then sleep through until 7, but that doesn't seem to be working! I don't mind getting up once to feed her but am struggling with the constant wake ups! Dh is now away for the best part of a month or two so I just can't cope anymore! We are away next week so once we are back the dummy is going! Looking forward to reading any suggestions before then. Off to check out the sleepstore now... ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: SophieD
Date Posted: 05 May 2011 at 9:25am
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Again we are the same with settling. She settles really well and is in a good routine...she just wakes up lots! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bambino
Date Posted: 05 May 2011 at 9:28am
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Oh dear... I wish I had an answer for you. My DS is only 3months but plunket tell me that at his size (8kgs) he should be able to sleep through and we are usually up about 4 times between 12 and 6am. Not sure what to do either as he self-settles really well during the day. Currently swaddling one arm and applying pacifier as required. I have started daydreaming about nightdreaming!
People say they grow out of it one day! Can your partner help? I.e. can you sleep somewhere else so you don't hear any crying and your partner could take care of her one night to give you a decent sleep? |
Posted By: Jaune
Date Posted: 05 May 2011 at 10:00am
Just a stat to make you feel better - only 21% of babies are sleeping through the night at 7mths...so that's 79% who don't! Definitely try some other techniques and see how you go, but don't beat yourself up about it if she still wakes in the night...it's completely normal!!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 05 May 2011 at 10:06am
| To stop Alex waking up like that I roll his blankie up and wedge it against his dummy so that the dummy stays in. And I put a handful of the other end of the blankie in his hand. He holds onto that and the dummy doesn't come out so he doesn't wake. If DH puts him down and forgets to do that he does the same thing of waking up |
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 05 May 2011 at 2:58pm
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I think I said it in your last thread, but Jacob was that age (a little younger) when we ditched the dummy. It was miserable while he got used to not having it, but when we dropped that things got better almost instantly. (We also had to stop feeding him at night to get a proper night's sleep out of him, but it doesn't sound like that would be a problem for you).
I know some babies just don't sleep through at that age... but I reckon it's 100% worth getting rid of the dummy and seeing what happens. -------------   
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Posted By: Danda08
Date Posted: 05 May 2011 at 4:24pm
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I second the suggestions above, ditch the dummy and maybe the swaddle as well and use the verbal reassurance technique. A few hard nights but I'm sure you'll see huge improvements qiuckly as long as you are consistant.
(We did VR with our girls at 5.5 months and ditched the swaddle at the same time - it worked quickly & effectively and they were much happier not being swaddled by then) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 05 May 2011 at 7:26pm
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We don't wrap and leave a couple of dummy's in the cot so she can grab one if she wants. DD goes down for the night with a dummy and in her sleepsack haven't wrapped for a while. Yes she can grab the dummy and pull it out having her hands free means she can also put it back in herself.
She will wake once during the night but that's after an 8-9 hour stretch for a feed which I do in the dark no talking or changing straight back into bed till 7am. She's slept thru maybe a dozen times since she was 3 months old and I can never predict which nights they will be. Is she cold? I've got DD in a medium weight sleepsack and a blanket as it cools down in the early morning. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 05 May 2011 at 7:31pm
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As hard as it will be you have to get rid of the dummy. If you are having to get up to replug then it just aint working. It may be a few weeks of painful nights but then he will have learned how to sleep and settle without it and you shouldn't have to get up regularly again.
I got to this point at about the same time as you and tackled DS2's sleeps and within 2 weeks he was sleeping through every single night. He is now 14-15 months and almost never wakes - could count on one hand how often he has needed us to resettle him since then. Whichever method you choose to sleep train is really up your own parenting style and maybe your child's personality. There are so many out there, pick one you feel suits you and be super consistent with it. Choose a good time when your partner can help out and you've got nothing much on the calendar and just sort it. Before you know it your wee man will be sleeping through and you'll be rested and a happy mama. That 79% not sleeping through stat is crazy, most babes i personally know have slept through by that stage if the parents are willing to work them to get it. If you're happy to get up in the night indefinitely then that's a different situation. I think most babies are capable of it, but need some help. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 05 May 2011 at 8:06pm
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Really Crafty? Only one baby is sleeping through the night in my antenatal class (at arounda year old) and they did CIO so I dont really count it.
Sorry no advice from me, but I can empathasise with the lack of sleep, DD is still waking 5ish times a night, and my DH is out of the country for the 7 months or so. I am still feeding her at night, but will look at night weaning her once we are back from the states to see if that makes any difference. Good luck! ------------- 
+1 May 09 Angel 
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Posted By: SophieD
Date Posted: 05 May 2011 at 8:09pm
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Yep thanks guys. Am thinking you are right and it is time to tackle the dummy..
We are away next week but as soon as we are home it's going! Arghh it is making me nervous already but I know it has to be done...just remind me after she has her one good night for the week that it will not last lol... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: JadeC
Date Posted: 05 May 2011 at 8:28pm
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If you aren't into letting them cry, there is a chapter in the No Cry Sleep Solution that talks about reducing the dummy use slowly. ------------- http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Bambino
Date Posted: 06 May 2011 at 10:59am
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Further to this, I am now doing controlled crying at night! Only one night so far but I am hopeful! DS resettled alone after about 45mins of on-off crying (never for more than 10mins at a time).
Will post back my progress in a couple of days. |
Posted By: SpecialK
Date Posted: 06 May 2011 at 11:22am
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Thanks girls, all really helpful suggestions. I am too scared to ditch the dummy but decided to teach her to find it herself SO last night we ditched the wrap and the safety sleep so she was just in her PJs sleeping bag, and and I tied her dummy to an end of a muslin cloth (thanks kebabat, that's a variation on your dummy/blanket trick). Well! Discovered that she got the hang of that pretty quick, that she is actually a tummy sleeper and she was only(!) up 3 times last night and twice was for loosing her dummy through the cot bars and banging her head on them. So I am going to tie a bumper on to the bars and see how we are going tonight, but she's settled for two sleeps today really well so fingers crossed. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 06 May 2011 at 1:16pm
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Really truly Emmi. Out of DS1 coffee group about 4 sttn by 4 months spontaneously, and the rest (5) bar one before 7 months. The one that wasn't was co-sleeping and so feeding in the night till about 1 1/2.
Out of other friends i'd say 50% sttn around 3-4 months spontaneously (mostly those with easy babies with good daytime routines) and the others seemed to do it at about 6-7 months. 2 of my (very lucky) friends had babes that sttn at 6-7 weeks. The ones that weren't were usually co-sleeping, were happy to feed in the night, or mums getting up to replug the dummy. I used to work as a neonatal nanny in the UK and do feel that most babies with a good routine to make sure they are getting those calories in by day and having appropriate wake and nap times can sttn - if they are taught to sleep without needing props. As a mum i have used every prop known to man so totally understand why we use them (and are so scared to ditch them) but honestly believe that we don't always do ourselves or our bubs any favours by hanging onto them past their useful point. Just my really honest opinion tho!!!! It's just so hard to see the sense of it when you're tired and desperate for some sleep...any sleep!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 06 May 2011 at 3:31pm
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DD started sleeping through with a dummy but that got annoying as she decided at about 5mths one night she needed it to go to sleep so we swapped dummy for blankie and that thing is now attached to her. We did let her cry because I don't have the patience to sit and cuddle etc. It only took one night of doing this. (She learnt pretty quickly) Prior to this though at about 6weeks we found out she was a tummy sleeper and I used to get her drowsy with dummy then when she actually went to bed take it off her she went to sleep easy! Not sure how that changed to having the dummy to go to sleep actually.
Try different techniques definitely, try tummy sleeping, the shhing and swaying. You may find once the distraction of going to sleep with a dummy is gone then they sleep through ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: sarasal
Date Posted: 08 May 2011 at 2:26pm
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It's totally normal for babies to wake every 2 hours or so through the night at that age. They just don't have mature sleep patterns yet and it takes most kids a few years to develop that. I don't really think there's anything much you can do to make them sleep through until they're ready (besides the obvious, like making sure they are fed, dry, warm, comfortable, not in pain). Some mums are just lucky and have babies that sleep through from a young age but they are the minority. MANY children still wake in the night until age 2-3 or older. From my experience, it's easier if you can just accept it, because fighting it just makes you angry and resentful. You will probably find her sleep will just gradually improve no matter what you do. You go through bad times, it gets better a while, then they get a cold or start cutting a tooth and it's back to sleepless nights, then starts getting better again.
It doesn't suit everyone, but I have the best sleeps when I co-sleep. |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 07 June 2011 at 10:15am
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DD has only slept thru the night occasionally and I have been offering at least 1 feed during the night which hasn't been a problem as she's then settled and gone straight back to sleep.
The last couple of nights however she's woken up and its taken 1/2 hour to resettle her, she's not interested in food or the dummy. Will scream blue murder if I try to put her back into her cot. How can I get her back into the habit of settling herself? ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: travelchick
Date Posted: 11 June 2011 at 8:09pm
| I recommend ditching the dummy. With my first we used a dummy which was necessary as he was a really sucky baby. But by about 5 months old it was doing my head in. I was getting up to him more times in the night than when he was a newborn - all to put the dummy in. We decided to go cold turkey. The first day we didn't give it to him for his first daytime sleep. Instead we gave him a lovely super soft toy which 'replaced' the dummy. We also used the verbal reassurance method by telling him it was sleepy time etc etc. I was prepared for hell, but it was surprisingly fine. The first sleep we let him cry for a bit and had decided to go back in and settle after 10 minutes. He cried for 7 minutes! The next sleep that day he cried for 3 minutes, the night time sleep he cried for 4 minutes and that was the end of it. By no means am I suggesting it will be that easy for everyone, but I had prepared myself for a week of sleepless nights and crying and we did it when DH and I were both able to support each other and share the load. Getting rid of the dummy was the best thing ever. His night waking stopped and he started sleeping from 7pm - 6/7am. Bliss. He also found his thumb in that time which helped. |
Posted By: TheBabe
Date Posted: 12 June 2011 at 10:12pm
Same here!! I think its crazy when parents walk around half-dead with exhaustion because they think catering to their baby is the best thing to do. Its never the best choice when you can't cope. Jake slept through with a dreamfeed at 6 weeks by himself - he was an angelic baby! Tyler was a freaking nightmare and at 5.5 months we spent almost 3 weeks letting him CIO at 3am after trying every single trick in the book. He just wanted to be up and he was determined enough to fight us! It was getting seriously bad for my health getting maybe 2 hours disturbed sleep which means all of the teeny buts of shuteye I was getting in between getting up to him equalled 2hrs. Even now it gives me the shudders remembering how shattered I was!! Anyway I'm just saying sometimes they're perfectly fine and totally capable of sleeping through (like my son!!) but they make it a little harder than other babies (like my son!!). Once you get through the nasty stuff you'll enjoy the sweet bliss of atleast 6 straight hours  Both my kids now sleep a good 11-13hrs straight no probs and its awesome!------------- Formerly 'Babe' Mama to my beautiful, busy boys Jake 01-07-2007 Tyler 20-02-2010 |
crafty1 wrote:Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 20 June 2011 at 4:07pm
Assuming they cant cope that is.... -------------   
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Posted By: scribe
Date Posted: 21 June 2011 at 9:27pm
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I don't know where they got that 79% stat either, I was reading something similar in Littlies (I think their stat was 76% at 6 months) and I was shocked. In our coffee group (Wellington like you Emmi), about half were sleeping through from 2-4 months, others 5-6 months. There was one boy who wasn't sleeping through at a year old (he had major allergy problems) so they got a sleep expert in and he was sleeping through after a weekend. My DD1 slept through at around 2-3 months; DD2 at 3-4 months.
Like everyone has said, get rid of the dummy. I have no experience in this sorry, but instead of putting the dummy in can you pat her back to sleep, or put up with a bit of grumbling (should only take a night or two I'd think). |
Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 21 June 2011 at 9:41pm
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Hmmm Im gona be controversial and say I don't really agree with the statements above about babies all sleeping through by a certain age unless they have props... It makes it all sound so simple, and maybe it is for some people and that's great but it hasn't been that way for us.
My DS used to sleep through from ages 2-4 months ish. Since then he has been waking once or twice a night. He knows how to self settle, I put him in bed awake. He has a dummy, but he can sleep with or without it, and he knows how to put it back in himself and I've seen him do it. So when he wakes, it's not because he wants a dummy. I have tried every trick under the sun that I have read on here, I have addressed temperature, made sure he's self settling, I turn him on his side and pat him on the back to settle I don't pick him up unless he's screaming and actually truly upset about something eg teeth. I have done verbal reassurance, he eventually goes to sleep but it hasn't stopped the night waking. I have left him to cry. I have fed him and not fed him, dream fed him- he wakes earlier when I do that. Every article I have read it, every trick I have tried it believe me. He has a very good, predictable routine and usually goes down easily unless something is bothering him. And he sometimes sleeps through, maybe once a week. And sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he wakes once, sometimes he wakes twice... if he's unwell like last night he wakes more. There's no predictability or pattern to it. I am a very tired Mummy and I don't think I have bought it on myself by pandering to my baby's needs, I have been pretty firm about trying to remain in charge of it. I might be wandering around in a tired haze but it's not because I haven't tried to change that or be firm, Ive spent hours up doing verbal reassurance, not feeding and listening to trying etc etc. I honestly think he will sleep through when he is ready to, as I know he knows how, he sometimes does it. He's a baby. He sometimes likes a bit of comfort in the night. Because half the articles you read say if your baby is doing x x and x, and you're not doing x x and x, then your baby will sleep through.. but what if they actually just don't want to? I don't always sleep through the night without waking. Sorry if this is controversial I was caught in a tired moment but I just wanted to say that and stick up for the Mums like me who have tried a lot of things and spent a lot of time and effort worrying about and working on this ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: JessDub
Date Posted: 22 June 2011 at 7:32am
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Dummy dependency sounds like a pain!
DS - who didn't ever have a dummy - didn't sleep through the night until 8 months old and that was after an evening formula feed (rather than BF). Coincidence or not, the formula calories clearly filled him up and he wasn't hungry at night. All babies are different. Frustrating though that when you have a poor sleeper, there are heaps of little angels. ------------- 
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Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 22 June 2011 at 1:00pm
| hear hear wiggly_jiggly. DS sometimes sleeps through, sometimes wakes once, sometimes twice, and every night this week has had a night feed then refused to resettle for 3+ hours while he holds a raging party in his cot. Last week he slept through each night 6 - 7. He self settles, can leave or take his dummy, and as he has and can sleep through for 11+ hours in the same routine, bedclothes etc i have to assume it is just how he's feeling at the time rather then anything i do or don't do. Weirdly, he slept through/best when he was sick and then teething. Now he feels better he appears to be celebrating in the night. |
Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 22 June 2011 at 3:01pm
Agreed. Mason's 11 months tomorrow and still doesn't STTN. However, he did it solidy for two weeks at 9 weeks old and did it again for about 10 nights (well, 8pm-5am)just last month. (teething and a horribly cold + cough put paid to that real fast, so I know he can do it. I'm exhausted and it makes me super sh*tty that he wakes in the night, but at the end of the day they'll sleep through when they're ready. If they're hungry, feed them - don't worry about "pandering" to their needs. What difference does it make if it's day or night to their hunger. You don't not feed them at lunchtime just cos you don't want to, right? And I think the whole size thing is bollocks. Hannah was sleeping through the night by 5 months at only 6kg. Mason is 9.5kgs and still requiring food at least once before 5:30am. I probably sound all judgy and mean, but babies are babies. No two are the same (mine are proof of that!). Some just need extra food/comfort so why should they be deprived of that. I'm tired all the time, so I have complete empathy. if I could make Mason sleep through the night, great, but I've tried (believe me) and it doesn't work, so I've accepted he's a night waker and I look forward to the teen years where I have to drag him out of bed to get to school on time! 
*edited for spelling ------------- 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 22 June 2011 at 4:25pm
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My DD was/is a crappy sleeper. As a baby she had terrible reflux, and woke in the night most nights, not always for food, and would scream and grizzle, some nights I would give her a bottle and some nights I didn't, I just did what ever worked.
She still isn't a *great* sleeper and its not uncommon for me to be up a few times a night to settle her(whether that be to find her dummy, or just tuck her back in and pat her back for a bit. She is 2 in August. My son however was a fab sleeper and still is! I did the same things with them, but DD is just so different. ------------- |
Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 23 June 2011 at 4:46am
Me too MP! Me too!! -------------
+1 May 09 Angel
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 23 June 2011 at 8:55am
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DS 16 months still doesn't sleep through the night either, but I must admit I have not really tried CIO as it breaks my heart, and I figure if it makes me feel that way it isn't right. Plus when I have left him to cry for longer than 10 minutes or so, he has worked himself into such a state he has spewed. No way he will sleep then.
I have however, tried EVERYTHING else under the sun. He has no props (no dummy etc) and USED to be able to self settle. He USED to wake once or maybe twice, and we were getting there with just a quick cuddle and back to sleep. I could have lived with that. Then he got five ear infections in a row, followed nicely by a urinary tract infection. So self settling went out the window (we had to sit in his room), sleeping day and night went out the window, even ended up with him coming into our bed and feeding at night which he hadn't done since 1 year old. Now we are trying to work on getting him to feel secure enough to go to sleep on his own and stay in his own bed. It is a long slow process, and sometimes I do get angry/annoyed that he just won't sleep. But it is what it is 
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