Settling tips
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=38575
Printed Date: 25 August 2025 at 3:36am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.10 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Settling tips
Posted By: FionaO
Subject: Settling tips
Date Posted: 29 March 2011 at 9:49am
|
Hi, I have searched this topic and read loads of stuff, but just keen to get some input. Lachie has become a total pain to put down, eventually he goes down and he does sleep well, he can manage 4 and a bit hours between feeds, is only waking once a night but getting him down is tricky and i don't know what else to try, currently we do: Ensure he is not up too long - 1 hour to 1.5 hours total max, make sure he is burped, cuddle for a while until he is looking sleepy and calm and put down, this seems to wake him straight up, so we put a dummy in, then a mix of patting, sshing, picking up, using dummy etc................... all of which takes over an hour, by which time he needs a top up. He is wrapped, in a dark room, has some white noise, I have tried rocking, swaying, feeding to sleep a dummy, music etc............. I feel like I might be confusing him by trying too much, my first child was a lot easier to put down as music kept him calm and then he just slept, this one seems cross. This morning for example, he woke up at 7, back in bed at 8.15, went quiet for 20 mins, cried, waited a few mins to check it was real, popped up picked up to check not windy, put down, looks awake, gave him the dummy, went quiet again for a while, repeat several times until 9.15, gave him a wee drink, put down and now its quiet!!! I don't mind so much but on days when I have two kids at home its a bit tricky and during the night a feed takes no time but getting him back in bed very hard. Sorry for the novel - tired rant. ------------- 
]  [/URL]
|
Replies:
Posted By: JessDub
Date Posted: 29 March 2011 at 10:52am
|
Have you tried leaving him to it? Sounds like a lot of fussing (patting, shhing, dummying etc) when in 5-10 minutes he might settle himself. And is he cross because of the fussing?
I'm a mean CC/CIO mum though! ------------- 
|
Posted By: FionaO
Date Posted: 29 March 2011 at 11:04am
|
I have tried letting him cry a couple of times, I don't allow long due to him being so small. It has worked twice - both the times it worked the crying barely lasted 3 minutes. I had decided 4 or 5 minutes would be my limit. It just seems like its never the same thing, ie i would happily let him cry for 3 mins if that would do it, but when I tried that yesterday he just got really cross and really hot!! I guess I should stick to one method but it seems to change everyday. -------------
] [/URL]
|
Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 29 March 2011 at 1:48pm
|
I found at that age there was never anything that worked all the time, it was very frustrating. I tended to try one thing and not go back to it too which didn't help. I honestly think at that age, you do what you have to do, even if you do something different the next day or hour, just to get them to go to sleep. My DS has gone through phases, as a newborn he just slept, then he needed to be fed and cuddled to sleep, then it was rocked to sleep, then it was moving the bassinette back and forward, then it was dummy, then it was leaving him to it, now its a cuddle then he goes to sleep in his bed. It's totally exhausting and frustrating but looking back my biggest advice is if it works on the day, do it, and this period of time will pass. I noticed when my DS was starting to be ready to fall asleep himself. I dont let him cry to this day but thats because hes got reflux and he just screams till he's in pain but once again you do what works ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
|
Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 29 March 2011 at 2:48pm
|
Those awake times sound a bit too long to me, i wonder if he is getting overtired and that is what is making it hard to drop off. At a month old both my boys would have been more like 45-60 mins. I agree with the others about less input. Maybe try leaving him a few minutes - whatever you are comfy with - and then go back in and shh/patt him then out again.
I saw that Sharlene Poole Baby Whisperer lady and she recommended getting out quickly again and it really worked with my boy. Go in, comfort and get out. She said if the comforting isn't working (they aren't calming down) then still get out and come back in in another few mins. She prefers to go in and out than spend hours in there. I agree that with 2 you really can't be in there all day. My boy was a nightmare napper and what made the big diff was when i stopped doing all the setling for him! It just wound him up and essentially lengthened his awake times till he was so overtired that then i would have to carry him to sleep. Fine if that's your choice or sometimes you want and need to get stuff done without a baby attached to you. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
|
Posted By: Danda08
Date Posted: 29 March 2011 at 5:55pm
|
My suggestions echo those above.
Reduce awake time to 45-60 mins - I would try and get him into bed at 45 so he's asleep by the 1 hour mark. I also agree with LittleN that with such a wee one, what works one day won't necessarily work the next, which is very frustrating. And while I am also a mean CC/Verbal Reassurance mum, I wouldn't try that till he's a bit older. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: FionaO
Date Posted: 29 March 2011 at 8:05pm
|
thanks guys!! I saw Sharlene Poole this morning and did her weird bottom shuffle at lunch and it worked - tonight in bed within the hour, still took me an hour, but he needed a bit more milk, after he had that he went down ok. DS1 was just a bit easier at he watched a mobile and that kept him calm, this one not the same. I will try doing less, easy really, I can't spend all day patting or ssshing anyway. I can handle a few minutes crying, will see how we go. -------------
] [/URL]
|
Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 30 March 2011 at 3:10pm
|
It's hard isn't it fiona when the second one is so different to the first. You end up with issues you hadn't even considered! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 30 March 2011 at 3:35pm
|
1-1.5hours seems like an awfully long time to be awake... Lily wasn't doing that until 2-3 months old, could you perhaps try put him down earlier and see if that works?
------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 30 March 2011 at 3:47pm
|
How small is he? DD was small still is and I was feeding her every 3 hours during the day when she was 4 weeks old.
It must be hard with a toddler as well, but some days I would spend the afternoon on the couch with DD sleeping on me at that age. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: FionaO
Date Posted: 30 March 2011 at 7:30pm
|
Ok, so I am having some luck, two things, not keeping him up so long and the whole sharlene poole method, this baby does not like all the things my first did, rocking etc.... does not work. So I am following her method put on side pat and leave and so far so good - now is it ok to sleep them on their sides?????????? He is wedged, but do you leave a side sleeper on their side or roll them back?????? -------------
] [/URL]
|
Posted By: Bambino
Date Posted: 01 April 2011 at 9:49am
|
Hi Fiona,
Love the name! I have a Lachie too... (now about 8 weeks) and we had a lot of trouble settling esp during the day and were doing similar things to you. What has worked for me over the last two or three weeks are: - Up for only about an hour at the most (getting longer in mornings lately). I feed at start of awake time and a bit more at the end. - Wind was a problem ... found that holding him under the bottom with hand on tummy and his back to my chest and walking around a bit helped wind and to relax him. - Put him down awake with something to look at (we use a black and white toy on the edge of his bed). - I allow him to cry for one minute for every week of his age... and by cry I mean really cry... not the grizzling/gurgling/coughing cry he does to start with. Then I ssshhhh and apply pacifier if needed but have found that he rarely cries for all those mins. After pauses in the crying the minute countdown starts again. Good luck with him! Bx |
Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 01 April 2011 at 1:30pm
|
I used a side sleeper wedge and it was fine, the risk is pretty low as long as you don't tick any of the other boxes - smoking, sleeping with baby etc. I stopped using it after a couple of weeks and then he was happy to sleep on his back. It had helped to teach him that sleep was good and fine and get him used to the pattern of our days. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
|