Toddler wont sleep in own bed
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Toddler Times
Forum Description: Is bubs growing up and getting into everything? How do you train them to use the potty? When do you start feeding solids? Share your tips and advice here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=38574
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Topic: Toddler wont sleep in own bed
Posted By: _SMS_
Subject: Toddler wont sleep in own bed
Date Posted: 29 March 2011 at 7:30am
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DD goes down to bed fine. But at 9-10pm wakes up throws a tantrum and wants to sleep in bed with me. By that time im already in bed.
Everynight i take her back to her bed and settle her down and when she is asleep i leave. But this doesnt last long an hour later we go through it again until i give up and let her sleep with me Im getting no sleep. She wont go to DP at all. She is very attached to me during the day and she just doesnt want me to leave at night either. I really cant have this going on with a newborn 
Any ideas how to get her to stop waking and to sleep on her own lol?? I have explained this morning that there will be no more sleeping with mummy and she is a big girl but we will see if that does anything -------------  
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Replies:
Posted By: Mum2ET
Date Posted: 29 March 2011 at 1:04pm
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is it possible for you to put a bed in her room for you to sleep on for a couple of days so she gets used to sleeping in her own bed first? And then gradually work on getting her to stay in the room by herself. ------------- Mum to Ella (5) and Tom (2) |
Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 29 March 2011 at 1:08pm
No its not  She sleeps fine in her bed for day naps. Goes down without a problem. Its just her wanting to be near me at night. -------------
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Mum2ET wrote:Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 29 March 2011 at 2:54pm
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Sounds like classic toddlerness to me, she is finding out where the boundaries are. You will have a newborn and will need your sleep.
Personally i'd just take her back to her bed, quick cuddle and soothe and then and leave again. Let her express her frustration with that but be firm about where she will sleep otherwise this sort of thing just drags on and on and on. It's not that you don't love her, but you need as much sleep as you can get to be a good mum to her and grow her sibling. She'll get used to it soon enough. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 29 March 2011 at 2:55pm
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I should follow that up with the harder way! If thst doesn't work then the other way is the no communication return to bed. No eye contact or talking. Just back into bed and go. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: JessDub
Date Posted: 29 March 2011 at 3:07pm
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Oh yes, toddlers and boundaries.
When DS plays up in his bed and wants this and that or one of us in there with him, we have to do the hard yards and ignore him. He learns pretty quick, thankfully, that we're not going to give in. I'm in the same boat as you preg with no. 2 and I'm already thinking about how it'll be harder with two so I'm trying to not be a soft touch and give in to tantys like I often do. ------------- 
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Posted By: SBM
Date Posted: 29 March 2011 at 4:29pm
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My thoughts are that if you are happy to have her in your bed for a wee while, say, a week or two, then that might help to satisfy her need to be close to you, and then you can work on getting her back in her own bed, or to accept comfort from her daddy. It sounds like she really wants to be near you, and trying to get her in her own bed at this point is leaving both of you exhausted. I don't believe that you'd be making "a rod for your own back"' if you just "gave in" to her need to be close to you at night. If anything I believe it will help her to continue feeling secure with you, and once this phase passes, which it will, then she will be more willing and ready to sleep by herself.
Eta: but you know me,'I would say that :p |
Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 29 March 2011 at 6:08pm
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There are a few reasons she cant stay in our bed. If it was just me id say YES because i might get sleep lol.
DP cant sleep when she is in there, DD moves non stop and never gets into a deep sleep. Also she climbs all over me while asleep, and sleeps on me which leaves us both very uncomfortable. Each night i feel my body needs rest, Im so exhausted from being pregnant, having DD with us doesnt let me relax. So by morning im already sore instead of rested. Tonight i will try bribe her lol. Then tomorrow i might try getting meaner. But being mean can be exhausting too 
Toddlers are hard work!! -------------
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Posted By: SBM
Date Posted: 29 March 2011 at 11:38pm
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Could you let her fall asleep in your bed then go and sleep in hers?
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Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 30 March 2011 at 7:19am
Hehe that happened the other night. Then at 2am she had a where is my mummy meltdown
Lastnight was a fail also. I couldnt be mean lol, so i slept with her in her bed for a few hours. It could have been worse. But im a grumpy mummy today 
Might just send her to her grandparents this weekend so i can sleep  -------------
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Posted By: Natalie_G
Date Posted: 30 March 2011 at 8:57pm
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Arianne went through a phase like that it went on for about 1 1/2 weeks. It didnt bother me as it was just me in the bed so I let her sleep with me and she eventually stopped waking up and coming into my bed.
But I can see how it will be very difficult with two people in the bed and one being pregnant, that bump just wont move lol. I would also say be strong and just keep putting her back to her bed she will eventually stop waking up and coming into your bed. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 31 March 2011 at 8:31am
Ohh thanks. Was just coming in to ask if anyone had followed Sarah's advice - which is pretty much what I'm currently doing - and wanted to know how long such a phase might last! I'm assuming at least until the teeth come through, the infection on her bum improves, the ear infection clears and the vomiting bug passes? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 31 March 2011 at 12:53pm
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This has been going on for about 2 months now I normally just put up with her in our bed. But DP is grumpy he cant sleep & now i cant really sleep either.
I tried to bribe her last night before bed telling her id buy her a new "bag" if she slept in her bed. She said yep ill be good etc. But no 4am she came into our bed lol. Better than 10pm though -------------
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Posted By: SquishysMum
Date Posted: 31 March 2011 at 1:13pm
| Oh, this sounds so much like my DD at the moment!!! I was actually JUST coming in here to ask advice - I might still cos it's a little different. But I'm pleased to know it's not just us!!! |
Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 31 March 2011 at 8:19pm
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I have a similar issue but not every night. I have been resettling her exactly the same as I do at bedtime ie reading another bedtime story and turning the music on (lullaby cd). Then I tell her that I will be back to check on her in 5 minutes and I actually go back after 5 minutes and look in to her room from the doorway and tell her I'll be back to check after another 5 minutes. Sometimes I have to resettle 3 or 4 times a night but she can go for a week without having to do this. The phase seems to come and go but usually coincides with clingyness during the day or some separation anxiety. I try and make sure I spend at least half an hour playing with her during the day (not easy for a single working parent) and that having my 100% attention seems to make her feel more secure and not need my help to resettle at night.
I hope you find something that works for you soon. Its not easy when you don't get enough sleep. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 01 April 2011 at 9:02am
Shelt, just an idea on getting in that half hour of playing - I jump in the bath with DD most nights. She needs the bath anyway, so it gets in some together time whilst still getting things done. You just need to make sure you have pjs etc organised first  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 02 April 2011 at 6:30pm
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Thanks T_Rex. I used to sit in the bathroom and play with G when she was in the bath but she has recently decided she is a big girl and wants to have showers like mummy instead. I still sit in the bathroom with her and we play silly games with her bath toys while she is in the shower but she generally only has 5 minutes and then she is over it and wants to get out. I have been trying to get dinner ready earlier and play together before bed instead since her shower takes so much less time now. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: sarasal
Date Posted: 03 April 2011 at 10:00pm
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We do quite a bit of bed shuffling in our house. We co-slept with our son since birth, but it started getting uncomfortable when he turned into a toddler and started sleeping on a diagonal. We figured the best thing was to have 2 bedrooms, each with a big bed. Sometimes we all sleep together still but if anyone is not comfy, they can go to the other bed. Sometimes I'll go to bed in one bed with my son then when he's sleeping well, go to the other bed with my partner. Other times I prefer to sleep with DS as DP works shifts and comes to bed too late or gets up too early or snores! I haven't managed to sleep by myself yet though ... luxury!
------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mrsturtle
Date Posted: 04 April 2011 at 5:34pm
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well we had this problem until about a week ago, when Emily all of a sudden decided that she now sleeps on the couch..... we try to put her into her bed when she is asleep but its all hell when she wakes, she has never been a good sleeper so now we leave her to sleep on the couch.
Good luck! you need your sleep with a new baby on the way. |