Children’s age gaps!
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=38342
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Topic: Children’s age gaps!
Posted By: popcorn
Subject: Children’s age gaps!
Date Posted: 10 March 2011 at 6:22pm
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Hi everyone
just interested to see what kind of age gaps you have in your family? We are potentially going to end up with 4 years plus age gap, wondered if any one else had a similar one? or pros and cons for smaller/bigger ones! Thanks! |
Replies:
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 10 March 2011 at 7:00pm
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DS1 is 3yrs 8mths older than DS2 (due to a m/c) in between. When DS2 came along DS1 went to kindy so I had part of the day with a baby mostly sleeping & one on one time with DS1. I notice different stages of the age gap & now that DS1 is 10 DS2 often sits with him while playing games & learns from him. He is very quick & I put that down to him being a sponge & picking up on DS1 doing school work. They can play well together & can be left alone in a room & will do their own things without too many problems.
Now DS3 is 17mths younger than DS2 & they together can be very hard work, both want the same things, fighting when DS3 can not reason or get his own way, but they are a lot of fun & are into the same things. DS2 tries to be like DS1 but is still able to relate to DS3 he is a bit of a bridge for DS1&3 age gap. They all get on really well...until they have a moment. It is nice to spend time with a baby while d#1 is at school 
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Posted By: minxynzl
Date Posted: 14 March 2011 at 9:31pm
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My first son is 20years old next month.....and we have just had my second son on Jan 31st this year!
Yep - an almost 20 year age gap :) ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 14 March 2011 at 10:51pm
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I have 2 years and 2 months, would like them closer this time - my big girl was too young to really communicate how a new baby made her feel - obviously it upset her - she was pretty hard on me
I have friends with close gaps that say it seemed easier as their older child was still quiet happy investigating their world and didnt mind not being attended to all the time Guess it depends on the child, but My girl has always been quite independant, but has had me at home for most of her life so I guess thats why it was hard for her ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 15 March 2011 at 7:51am
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I have 21 months between 1 & 2 and at the start I found it a bit hard as Ollie was still quite dependent on me. Thankfully, he wasn't jealous of his sister or anything so we soon figured out how to (mostly) keep everyone happy. They are now really close and when number 3 came along they would keep each other entertained which was/is great! There is 27 months between 2 & 3.
I think there are pros and cons to big and small gaps, and I think you make it work for you which ever way it ends up. Good luck with your decision making! ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 15 March 2011 at 8:00am
19 months between 1 & 2 which was pretty good as when baby the oldest wasn't old enough to ever remember baby not being there. They do fight a lot now though, but then when they aren't fighting they are playing nicely, just not much inbetween
This time I will have 4 years 1 month between 1 & 3 and 2 years 7 months between 2 & 3. I think the 4 year gap will be good as my 4 year old loves babies but I'm not so sure about the other age gap as my 2 year old is not keen on me holding other babies etc so think we might have some pretty huge jealousy issues. Wait and see though, can't do anything else really. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: KH25
Date Posted: 15 March 2011 at 9:09am
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I have 4y4m between my 2. So far I have found it great! DD is at morning kindy 5 days a week so I get all morning with the baby and to catch up on the housework etc while he is sleeping. DD LOVES her brother and is a great help with putting his dummy in, getting things for me, playing with him etc and can watch him while I have a quick shower. It is also good that she is at a nice independant age and can do 99% of things for herself so I rarely need to stop feeding DS or whatever to help her out. We have noticed that she has started acting "babyish", pretending she is a baby (I think to get a bit of attention as we have had a bit of a rough time with DS's health) and she has also regressed with night time TT and as of last week we have had to put her back in pullups. Not sure how well the age gap will work in say 4 years time when they'll be 8 and 4, moreso because of the different genders but hopefully DS won't be tooo annoying to his big sister lol I did ideally want around a 3 year age gap but mother nature had other ideas ------------- Kelly, mum to DD, 19Jun06 (26wks 1lb15oz) DS1, 24Oct10 (32wks 4lb11oz) and DS2, 31Dec11 (32wks, 4lb11) http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: fallen
Date Posted: 15 March 2011 at 9:53am
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Nearly 11 years between the first two. There will be about 20 1/2 months between two and three. I somehow see that more challenging lol. ------------- |
Posted By: xLUCKYx
Date Posted: 15 March 2011 at 10:14am
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There's 15 months between DD and DS. Great age gap although have been on my toes for 3 years now. It's (can I say this without jinxing it?) startiung to get a bit easier and they are really great buddies.
I would love a number three or four but will wait until DS is 5 & DD 6 |
Posted By: kathamill
Date Posted: 15 March 2011 at 11:01am
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In my family we have two years between my elder sister and brother, and then 5 years between my brother and me (I'm the youngest). My husband has exactly the same age gaps in his family too, he also is the youngest. Now, while I'd like to think that we are perfectly normal and have no adverse effects of being the youngest by 5 years, I really don't want to have that type of age gap in my own family. By the time I was born, both siblings were at school. By the time I was 13(ish) both siblings had left home. So I basically ended up being (effectively) an only child.
(Picture me digging a hole) Now, there is nothing wrong with having only one child, I just love big close families, personal preference. Now that we are all adults and have settled down, we are close, but it did take till we were adults to get there. So that's two different age gaps in one family, and my interpretation of it. Take what you will. 
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Posted By: millymollymandy
Date Posted: 15 March 2011 at 1:16pm
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I'm going for 2 years 2 months, this is what I wanted because of older and didn't want babies in my 40s, and I wanted a relatively short phase of raising very young children.
From my own experiance... My brother and me have a very similiar age gap and it was great as we liked doing similiar things and we got on well. Oddly though we don't have much in common now, but that's more about personality than anything else. My Mum is 7 years older than her sister and she feels it was too bigger gap and they were almost like two families of only children. By the time my aunty was old enough to play, Mum was in high school and not interested. They aren't super close, but they do get on well. DH is 5 years older than his brother and says they had nothing in commom as kids, only one year at the same school. However, they are now very close so in the end it made no difference. Dad and his brother are 18 months apart and they are like twins and have basically spent their whole lives together. They shared a room as kids, worked together and lived next door to each other until their mid 50s. They are very different people and they argue all the time but the bond's quite strong. |
Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 15 March 2011 at 2:21pm
This is one of the reasons DH & I chose to have our kids close in age. I have 5 siblings and the age gaps between me and them are, 16yrs, 15yrs, 14yrs, 9yrs and 7yrs so I felt like an only child for alot of the time because we were at completely different stages. We all get on fine but we aren't close (either emotionally or geographically). I was an Aunty at 2yrs old and some of my nieces and nephews have children around the same age as mine!  ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
kathamill wrote:Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 15 March 2011 at 2:49pm
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I have 2 years 4 days between mine..both mine due on same day lol.. anyway my son was never jealous but did find it hard from being doted on to not being the only one.. i found it hard cause for 5 months Liam only slept 45 mins at a time and still doesnt sleep through at night.. i think i would have chosen a little bit bigger age gap but now it's so awesome to see them laughing together or playing nicely:) can't wait till Liam a bit bigger to play properly with Ethan though:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: BessieBear
Date Posted: 15 March 2011 at 3:16pm
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There's 19 months between my 2. There be at least 2 years between DD and #3. Only because I want #3 to be born in some certain months.... In my family the age gaps are 25 mths, 3.5 yrs, 4.5 yrs, 2.5 years. ------------- Sarah Mum to, Boy 07/2008, Girl 03/2010, Boy 05/2012, Angel  07/08/2014
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Posted By: NovemberMum
Date Posted: 15 March 2011 at 7:35pm
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my children are 2 years and 6 days are apart which is close enough for me..if we were to have a 3rd Id want at least 3 years between #2 and #3 at least that one my oldest would be at school and the 2nd at kindy most afternoons.
I do believe though that you make it work with whatever age gap you have I am sure if I had say an 18 month age gap I would cope ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Mum2ET
Date Posted: 15 March 2011 at 8:17pm
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2 y 9 m and love it. Ella was TT when Tom came along and able to a lot of things herself. She seemed to understand quite early on that I was having a baby and was really excited to have a little brother. She has even started telling me now that she would like me to have another- but a girl this time They do play a bit together now and if she wants her space from her little brother has no problems playing in her room by herself. ------------- Mum to Ella (5) and Tom (2) |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 16 March 2011 at 3:51pm
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We have a 7 year gap,and a 20 month gap.
7 year gap is mostly wonderful,she is helpful,understands that the babies need a lot of our attention and can do her own thing a lot without needing constant supervision,which means I can tend to the other children's needs. The only bad thing is that you forget a lot after 7 years,it was like having my first all over again when I had my second. The 20month gap is much harder imo,he doesn't yet understand that baby needs us too and we have had quite a bit of jealousy already,concepts such as "gentle" have to be reinforced a lot because he is still a baby in lots of ways himself and doesn't get it. Im hoping as they both get older though they will get a long better ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 16 March 2011 at 3:53pm
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Oh and with my eldest,shes at school for most of the day,so I only need to focus on 2. -------------
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 16 March 2011 at 8:27pm
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We have a one minute age gap lol. We have been trying for number 3 for about a year now. We were hoping for three years between the twins and the next bubs but it doesn't seem to be going to plan. However if we end up with a four year age gap I would be quite happy. It would be nice to have the girls more involved with the baby and they can be if they are that little bit older. -------------  
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 16 March 2011 at 8:29pm
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ooooh somewhat unrelated lol Kelly you so need to let me do a new siggy for Amelia! -------------
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |