What would you say?
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=38175
Printed Date: 28 August 2025 at 10:38am
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Topic: What would you say?
Posted By: millymollymandy
Subject: What would you say?
Date Posted: 27 February 2011 at 9:28am
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A year ago we sold our house and have put the money into investments while we rent and save for another home. 5 months ago we lent money to my bro and SIL to buy a car. They made payments for a month and then nothing. They were having a hard time finding work so we let it ride for a while. A month ago we sold a vehicle we jointly owned and they use the money to pay the arrears and a month in advance.
This week the payments are due again. I'm not sure we will get anything. If it was as simple as neither of them having work that would be fine but... -my neice is in day at a cost of $5o per two days a week, despite one parent not working and other working part time. (this would more than cover the loan repayments). -SIL is doing regular sessions at gym with a person trainer. -SIl flew away for a weekend away with friends this weekend. I feel worried that they will say that they can't pay us, when as I see its just because they are making other choices. We don't need the money for day to day living, but its to contribute towards or future. What can i say to them? I'm worried I'll lose it and ruin the relationship completely, but I feel like we are being taken for ride and it sucks that its family doing it. Any ideas? DH wants to post a letter with a deposit slip as a reminder. |
Replies:
Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 27 February 2011 at 9:36am
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Personally I'd wait and see what they do, if they pay it or not.
If not, then perhaps ask if there's anything you can do to help so it doesn't happen again. Perhaps putting it back on you, saying "I don't like sounding like a nag, and I hate to nag you" or similar. Suggest setting up an AP with the bank. Makes it easy for them, as they don't have to actually remember to pay you, and if they don't have enough money in the account they'll get stung fees, meaning they may make more of an effort to make sure they can cover it next time. I hate it when nice gestures come back to bite you in the arse. Good luck getting it sorted! ------------- 
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 27 February 2011 at 10:07am
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If you have made an arrangement of how much is to be paid back & the frequency of payments then I think it is best to wait as there is not any arrears now. If they don't make this weeks payment call them & tell them you are sending a direct debit form & they can pay weekly (if they don't already).
I would tell them if they are having trouble paying it back that you can help them do a budget & maybe put on hold some of the not so unessential things. Make them understand the loan is up there with rent etc. It must be a hard situation, but at the end of the day you have to look at it like it was a loan & they knew that & agreed to it. It is your money for a house, you are not getting interest on it (?) & it causes unease & uncertainty. |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 27 February 2011 at 10:54am
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they are taking you for a ride! if they dont make the payment then give them an ap form and tell them you want your money back! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: pudgy
Date Posted: 27 February 2011 at 11:06am
^^ This But I'd also makeit clear to them it needs to be treated like a loan and just because you are family doesn't mean you'll take a backseat IYGWIM ? Because they borrowed off you they may think it's a flexible arrangement. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Bizzy wrote:Posted By: millymollymandy
Date Posted: 27 February 2011 at 12:38pm
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The worst thing is they have signed loan argeement stating how much they should be paying each week. They are paying interest, but obviously at a much lower rate than a car finance firm.
I think we'll give them a quick call and check that they do have everythign set up. Fingers crossed. |
Posted By: tictacjunkie
Date Posted: 28 February 2011 at 1:29pm
| No ideas sorry, just to let you know you're not alone- my sister got a flexirent in DH's name for camera & computer to do a photography course which she hasn't done, she often missed her AP's so we had to pay, didn't want bad credit. Almost 3y later it's still in DH's name, mum has taken over the debt, the ap's & the Apple, & my sister has walked away from everything with a (Canon Digital SLR) camera & not a care, no thanks, no apology, we feel like schmucks. Lesson learnt though. |
Posted By: astral_monkey
Date Posted: 28 February 2011 at 1:44pm
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Hmmm... I would ring and make sure it's all set up to go through, suggest they have an AP set up as it's less hassle for everyone.
I get the "they're doing this, that and the other thing, so I know there's money there", but you can't tell people how to live their lives (they will get defensive and it will cause a fight and possibly a feud). Be careful when you talk to them that you don't bring these things up. At the end of the day they made a commitment and they have to honor that - where they find the money is up to them. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  |