Crying it out - 19 month old
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Topic: Crying it out - 19 month old
Posted By: July Mum to be
Subject: Crying it out - 19 month old
Date Posted: 22 February 2011 at 1:38pm
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After almost a year of putting it off , I started cio with my 19month old son. I started last Monday. It has been 9 days and he still cries and grizzles for 20-25mins before falling asleep. I thought he would be ok by now. Is it normal for it to take this long?
I even took last week off work so I could concentrate on his sleeping. Before naps/bed time, I read him a book with him cuddling his teddy, I then breastfeed him (Only at nights) , I sing him a couple of lullabies and then pop him in his cot and I say ¡§Time to go night night, see you tomorrow morning, love you¡¨ and then I leave the room very fast. He then screams and screams for over 20-25minutes and then falls asleep. I was ok last week coz I thought we were only starting but he is still like that this week. And to make this worse, when I went to get him this morning, I realized that he had puked last night when screaming and crying. I didn¡¦t even know ƒ¼ I felt sooo bad knowing my little man was lying in his own puke the whole night ƒ¼ So, please tell me this gets better. I don¡¦t want to go back to patting him to sleep coz I want him to be able to self settle. Thanks for reading my post ƒº |
Replies:
Posted By: jano1
Date Posted: 22 February 2011 at 3:55pm
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Have you patted him to sleep for the last 19 months? If so he is probably confused about the new routine and is letting you know he doesn't like it! CIO doesn't work for all babies and if you think he isn't responding well you could try the verbal reassurance technique, checking in on him after 5mins, 10 mins, 15 mins- go to the sleep store website as they have heaps of info.
Another method is the gradual withdrawl method- moving slowly out of his room over a week or so to make him feel safe and secure but not needing you to fall asleep. Good luck 
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Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 22 February 2011 at 5:21pm
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Sounds like you might need to take a more gradual approach to it, ITA with what jano1 has said - the change was probably a bit sudden for him at this age. ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 22 February 2011 at 5:41pm
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I agree, you should probably take a different approach, perhaps controlled crying would be a bit better... - Settled - fed, changed, etc, leave for 3 mins and if still crying at 3 mins, go in and resettled then do for 5, same thing do for 7 and I read/heard the max you should leave them is 7 mins.
Also re the puking during the night, that's a fine example of why it shouldn't be done in a very young baby - because they can choke on their vomit but *luckily* being older, the risk of that is less. Anyway, I would try a different approach like CC. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 22 February 2011 at 6:25pm
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We have been using a modified version of CC with Ben for the 10 days after seeing Small Wonders. Until now (19mths) I have alwasy assisted him to sleep with bfing, jiggling, rocking etc. I never would have tried CC before but it seems to have worked well with Ben, but he is an all or nothing kind of kid and gradual withdrawl doesn't work for him.
At nap times he grizzles for maybe 2mins and that is it. Bedtime is longer but the max he will do is grizzling on and off for about 20mins, tonight I only heard 1 quick scream and a few quick grizzles lasting about 1-2mins. Based on this I would agree with the others that it may not suit your son (I know it definately wouldn't have suited Jack. If you are after gradual withdrawl methods check out Pinky McKay or Elizabeth Pantley Good luck, I know it is hard ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: MichellesCrew
Date Posted: 22 February 2011 at 7:07pm
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Thats quite a while to see no improvement. I always go by what my Plunket nurse told me many years ago with my first - 3 days to make a habit, 3 days to break a habit. If you dont see any improvement in a few days then Id definitely be trying something else.
Have you tried creating a regular bedtime routine? I find if I do bath, dinner bed it doesnt work for mine they get an energy rush after dinner so I do dinner, playtime then bath, story bed. Its worked way better. Good luck :) |
Posted By: mummymonster
Date Posted: 22 February 2011 at 7:25pm
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I'm going to say something along the same lines.
We used I guess a version of CC when DS was younger. Thing was that DS only needed us in the room to stop crying so it was just 3min, visit, 5min visit, 7min.... I don't think we ever got above 15min and usually didn't get close to that. Later on, DH and I have developed different techniques. I don't have the will power to do DH's but it's definitely a better idea than mine. Over some weeks, when DS was crying at night (also in the middle of the night), DH would sit in the room, on the floor where DS could see him. DS would cry and cry, then eventually lie down and go to sleep. Just sit, head down. Now days DH just needs to sit in there for a few min, DS gives up and lies down for sleep. Me on the other hand, I see my crying boy, and go to hug/pat/reassure him. He demands to get up for hugs, as soon as I pick him up, he dives for freedom and I've made the whole thing worse. Usually I just send DH in. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: July Mum to be
Date Posted: 23 February 2011 at 10:39am
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Thank you all for your replies
Hi Jano1 - I have assisted in some way until now. It was feeding to sleep then rocking (i stopped doing this when he was getting heavier) and then patting him. But now he is 19months old, i thought he needs to be able to sleep on his own and have started doing this.. I have tried CC before and it didnt work as he is worse when he sees me. Has taken over an hour and half for him to sleep with controlled crying. I have also tried just standing there next to the cot without patting but he stands up, puts his arms out and keeps crying (full on cry) until i pick him up. Linzy - My son is like kind of like yours i guess coz its all or nothing with him too. I know gradual withdrawal or CC hasnt worked on him. I do have Elizabeth Pantly book for babies. But I guess i now need the toddler one for my son. Yeah when i started, i thought it will get better in 3 days. IsaacsMum - I used to send my DH when my DS woke up crying in the middle of the night too coz he could settle him easier (Sometimes without picking) but if i go in , i used to make it worse by picking him up and it used to take longer to settle him. Last night, he fell asleep after 10 minutes of grizzling on and off and slept till 7 this morning. It makes it harder on me coz somedays it takes longer than 10minutes and i'm not strong when it comes to hearing him cry for so long :( |
Posted By: RinTinTin
Date Posted: 23 February 2011 at 3:24pm
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I would definitely look for another option. I was going to suggest CC too but if you've already tried it then you need to find another way.
For a child to get themselves so worked up that they vomit, that's saying something, and even at 19 months old, that can be dangerous. Are you sure there is nothing medical that could be causing the issue? Reflux? Teething? Growing pains? Does he fall asleep any easier if he's had Pamol? Not that I'm suggesting you "drug" him to sleep, but that if Pamol helps then perhaps he's in pain. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: bun_in_the_oven
Date Posted: 24 February 2011 at 8:43pm
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no advice... just wanted to say.. i know your pain.. its hard to make huge changes.
Hang in there mama... and HUGS ! (turn up the tv so you cant hear him :) ) |