Cry it out method
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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Topic: Cry it out method
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Subject: Cry it out method
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 6:59pm
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Has anyone done this with a child under 9 months and had success? how long did it take to sort the issue out?
Thanks x ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
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Replies:
Posted By: Nothing
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 7:20pm
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Please dont do this to your bubba, have you tried the verbal re-assurance technique first? The sleep store has lots of great info. Most of the mummys in the April 2010 thread have recently done VR, pop in and ask away if you want. Below is a link about CIO and the damage it causes your bubba's brain.
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/crying-it-out-causes-brain-damage.html - Why CIO is bad ------------- 
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 7:24pm
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thanks for your input aethelia
I understand this is a controversal topic, with several different trains of thought Sleep deprivation can cause similar issues depending on what you read Feel free to PM me with different experiences if you dont want to rock the boat ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 7:37pm
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What is the issue you are having?
I've not had to use this method as I have found other ways to get DD to sleep, leaving her to cry she ends up unconsolable and makes herself more upset, I find it upsetting too. Found it easier to simply pick her up and give her a cuddle and reassurance before putting her back into her cot and rocking her to sleep. I also make sure I put her to bed when she is tired and she goes to bed the same time every night after she's had her bath / feed. I haven't had tears at bed time for a few weeks. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 7:51pm
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Hi , she just cries as soon as I leave the room, but if I stick my boob in her mouth her eyes roll back and she is out like a light, but only for 20 mins , and so I feed her again and again til she is just exhausted and crashes out. The dummy dosent have the same effect
We have been doing VB or controlled crying but she has decided its not cool and while at first she was great, she has clicked to the fact I will only leave her for so long I have a toddler too,I cant sit on the couch with my boobs out just to stop her from crying, but she needs to sleep! at the moment I am getting maybe 10 hours in 24 - not healthy! I have done the pick up / put down too, and this method just makes her cry harder - as does VB to some extent She can do it - her 10 hour sleep is overnight - she occasionally wakes once - I just give her a feed, burp her change her if she needs it and put her down again - half awake and she just turns her head and goes to sleep quite happily ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: FionaO
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 7:57pm
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I will try and find this thing someone sent me from here ages ago, its controlled crying but with a method which helps, I passed it to half my ante natal group and they had huge success, it worked with DS and i don;t remember it being painful. Its great she can sleep for long periods, so she'll get there, PM me your email address and i'll find the online book thing, cannot remember for the life of me at the min what its called. ------------- 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 8:00pm
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All I've been doing for day sleeps is putting her into her sleep sack (got a light weight one for day time), put her mittins on and pop the dummy in her mouth sometimes I give it a wee tap so she'll suck and I play a music CD (sounds of surf/instrumental stuff) for her, I draw the curtains.
I don't feed to sleep any more too sore on my breasts, DD is spilly enough without giving her more milk, I found when she stops feeding properly I unlatch her and stick the dummy in this seems to be working. Have you tried the controlled crying method? Where you time how long you leave her for rather than leaving her to cry herself to sleep. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 8:00pm
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Ok I won't comment on CIO cos I my opinion will rock the boat -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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I know 10 hous isn't great, but it sure as heck bets 6. Or less (and yes that's in 24 hours...not overnight) Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 8:11pm
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I used the sleep easy solution - so that is controlled crying - or verbal reassurance - whichever phrase you prefer, and for the first half hour I shushed her every 10 mins then stretched it out to 15 mins for up to 2 hours - the first time I used it - I gave her a feed after that - then tried again for an hour and a half - but it got the better of me - I put her in the car and she was asleep before I even left the drive way!
Oh Emmecat thats awful! isnt crazy when babies are soo different - your babe is still pretty little - Id get a hammock if mine were still tiny and only sleeping that much - you must be exhausted!! I hve a cariboo bassinet you can swing if you want to borrow it This is my second child - Im not just putting it in the 2 hard basket - she is well - chubby - well fed - happy as anything while awake - very close to me - and developing well in every other aspect - she just knows how to pull my heart strings ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 8:31pm
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Hugs hun, this was Jake but his was from silent reflux. He would just scream and scream and scream but slept well over night. We were averageing 7-10 hours per day (well he was and I was getting about 2-4 hours) and it was hideous.
I still dont know what to do, he still screams at bedtime, they only way to get him to nap in the day is to let him fall asleep on me and transfer him to his bed (I have tried everything and its the ONLY thing that works). We still have periods of night waking and screaming (this came after he stopped feeding through the night, his choice not mine). Last week I had 3 nights of each of them waking 2 hourly, at intervals so I was getting 20 mins sleep every hour I was in bed.. Woohoo! I have come to the conclusion that Jake is either lonely, having night terrors or both. Once Ollie drops his night feeds the boys will start sharing and I am hoping this will help Jake. I just cant handle CIO, it makes us all too upset, but I know people who use it. I also appreciate being at the end of your tether and not knowing what else to do and how lack of sleep affects your baby. Jake didnt grow and lost a large amount of weight at the height of his sleep issues as a wee babe and still now if he is having a bad sleep period his weight drops off rapidly 
Im no help really, just want to give you big hugs! -------------   
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 8:42pm
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Oh Melnel thats awful too who am I to complain!
We did have spilly windy issues earlier and she was put on losec but Once I stretched out her feeds and gave her infacol it subsided thankfully. And yeah she only grew 1 cm in 6 weeks which was when I resorted to controlled crying My big girl has times where she wakes lots too, its a killer thanks for the hugs , right back at you! ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: pudgy
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 8:57pm
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I will also not offer my personal opinnion :-) BUt please think twice before using the CIO method.
Have you got a carrier/sling so you can wear her ? Then you can still do things you need to and your LO will get some sleep.  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 9:06pm
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she dosent like being wrapped and TBH she is too big for me to do anything with her in the sling
And I am thinking twice pudgy - more than that even - thats why Im asking for experiences and opinions - and I have done the research - believe me the last thing I want is to hear my precious girl crying or for her to feel abandoned ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: pudgy
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 9:13pm
Are you able borrow something a bit sturdier ? Mei tai or SSC ? I don't want to bang on about slings etc but if she is close to you she might settle easier. My DS loves his mama too and goes through some seperation anxiety. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Raspberryjam wrote:Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 9:24pm
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I would look into CC before looking into CIO.
IMO CIO is cruel. How would you feel if you were left to just cry, esp when that is your only way of communicating? When they get hysterical, some babies can hyperventilate and some can even vomit and if they are quite young they can then choke on their vomit. No sleep sucks, trust me, My DD is 11.5 mo and still can't seem to sleep longer than 2 hours *sigh*. I had good success with CC and she also learned to self settle. Basically it was just make sure she went down happy, changed, fed, burped, etc and leave for 3 mins, if still crying then go back in and reassure/check and leave for 5, etc but no longer than 7 mins and keep repeating 7 mins until she goes to sleep. But if they're hysterical then obviously you go into them. We found it only took the one time and she cried for about 20 mins before going to sleep. She then learned to crawl and it all went out the window but I've done it again today and again it only took the one time and she only cried for 2 mins then decided to just play/chat away in her cot for about an hour before going to sleep. Is it just for day sleeps? Would she sleep in a pram? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 9:27pm
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whats a ssc? I use a unido when I do the groceries and I can count on one hand how many times she has fallen asleep
How do you pick up your big girl? when you have your son in a sling? or do the dishes or go to the toilet or make a coffee - I think Im just giving her another sleep association if I wear her I dont think she is having anxiety - she is quite happy with out me until she is tired - then she just wants booby to sleep How did you train your babies to sleep Pudgy? ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 9:34pm
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Im trying to tackle this before she crawls lil_nic - and yeah I do think about how she would feel
I havent ever let her get hysterical and I can hear her on the monitor (disturbingly!) She needs training for day sleeps and bedtime Im not opposed to using the CC again, but Id rather not have to do it all the time or not have her sleep when is older ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 9:41pm
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Have you tried just sitting in with her and reading. I use to sit by eldests bed for ages some nights, it's not ideal but it beats leaving them to cry and it's not long till they learn to comfort themselves without you. And by read I mean I was just reading to myself to pass the time not reading to baby, and would pat and shush where needed whenever he started to get upset. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 9:42pm
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RJ I'm just wondering what you need this for if she sleeps 10 hours at night? Is she not settling well for day sleeps, only night time ones? We have tried CC rather than CIO (that makes me too upset) but one of our daughters used to gulp too much air when she was crying and then be full of burps - so needed us to settle her afterwards in any event. Maybe something like that is bothering her. -------------  |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 9:50pm
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Sorry, hope my post didn't come off as harsh!
I can't really offer any advice as I've only done CC and that worked brilliantly for us (but obviously not all babies take to it right away). ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 9:52pm
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Also, I wish I had thought to properly tackle it before DD crawled too! Because it took ages once she learned to crawl to tackle it! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: maya22
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 10:03pm
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If it is day sleeps that are the problem, maybe the timing is all out?
Are you missing the right time to put her down, and doing it too early or too late? Is she starting solids? That can cause tummy issues that mean a baby doesn't want to sleep, as they are too sore, or too hungry, or too full. ------------- DS1 July 2007 DS2 Nov 2010 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 10:04pm
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Going back to the original question since no one has actually answered it.....
Yes, we've done it and I'm pretty sure we did it when Dan was under 9 months - probably not much under it. Like you, I didn't like it but I had tried everything else. I completely understand the challenges with a toddler and a bub who won't sleep. It took Dan less then 10 minutes to go to sleep and it only took a couple of sleeps before he'd go off to sleep with a minute or two of squawking (quick protest and then a bit of unwinding) then he might chat for a bit then go to sleep. I don't think I could have done a "full" CIO - i.e. leave him indefinitely. 10 minutes was about my limit. If it went longer than that, then we'd do more of a CC approach and it would eventually work.  RJ. Sounds like you're having a tough time. You're not a bad mum for considering it and you're not going to do permanent damage - the fact that you are questioning it and have tried everything else says that. I hope you find something that works soon. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 10:06pm
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I know this is difficult coz you have a toddler but for DD's day sleeps I used to stand in her room with my back to her and slowly edge out. The minute she started crying I would move back in to the room. Some days I would be staying there for half an hour or so before she fell asleep but I was desperate. DD hardly ever slept for the first 3 months due to reflux, and was a terrible day sleeper after that. I tried the cry it out method (I can hear the gasps now...) coz I was so desperate to get some peace and quiet and sleep but all that happened was DD got completely hysterical and she would still be screaming after 2 plus hours. I don't recommend it - its heart breaking.
Edited to add that this post makes me sound completely terrible but I'm going to leave it in there as it answers the original question. I think in my situation I was absolutely desperate and am a single parent so had no support and couldn't get any sleep. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 10:12pm
Not at all - takes a lot to offend me - appreciate your input ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 10:16pm
She dosent sleep during the day - unless I can manage to feed her to sleep on my bed or in the car / buggy when we are out - so yes needs day sleep She goes down eventually about 9pm = sometimes later and then wakes between 5 and 7 She is easy to wind and has started bringing it up herself so apart from when I put her down asleep after a feed this dosent seem to be a problem ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 10:23pm
I put her down as soon as I see a tired sign - so her first sign is starring and fidgeting - I take her off to her room then - Im sure I do sometimes miss it - easy to do with 2 bubs - but Im pretty sure I have the timing right - its about 3 hours from when she wakes - and if 3 hours after she wakes from a nap if she has had a nap She has been on solids for a while actually - and is BLW for the most part so eats until she is happy - and is pretty much demand breastfed - although it is 3 to 4 hourly - until bedtime - she cluster feeds a bit til about 8.30 ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 10:23pm
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re: slings - you need something that works as a 'backpack', like a Manduca (google is your friend) or an Ergo... this is how we get things done with a busy preschooler in our family as well.
I'm personally not an advocate of CIO either but have been at the end of my tether too and understand how these thoughts can pass through our minds, I really hope you can find an option that is a relatively stress free solution to things for the both of you. ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 10:40pm
Thanks Flissty, If this were my first Id just roll with it, they are only little for such a short time, but my poor Milly told me she missed me so I have to have a plan that works for both of them ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 10:41pm
Thanks for your honesty shelt, your a braver woman than I attempting it alone - I dont know how you do it hun x ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 10:42pm
Thanks hippymama, A friend has offered me her manduca, but I will see how geting her to sleep in her cot one way or another goes first ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 10:48pm
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I have 2 kids that don't sleep well at night so I can sympathise. I have tried several things over the years but having 2 does make it harder. Personally I refuse to do CIO or CC, but that's me. So instead we are getting Small Wonders in this weekend to give us some ideas and a plan on how to ge them sleeping. It doesn't fit the budget but when my longest stretch of sleep at night is 2hrs, I think we can work something out! Anyway it might be something you want to think about. Apparently they can incl CC in your plan if it is something that you are happy to follow.
Anyway good luck with whatever you decide to do ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 10:56pm
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I hope they work for you Linzy, you must be exhausted
I have actually already paid for a karitane to come to my home for 6 hours - and while some of the advice was great - It really shook my confidence as a mum in regards to feeding and cuddling my baby so I probably wont do it agian ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 11:23pm
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Big hugs to you chick, I know what its like to have a baby that wont sleep and you have exhausted every other avenue.
I don't personally think much of CIO...but at the end of the day you need to work with something that will work for you. One thing i've learnt as a mum, especially having more than one child, is that all children are different and what works for one child wont necessarily work for another ------------- 
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 7:27am
Fair enough. I didn't have a good experience at our Family Centre in regards to Jack's sleep a few years ago and haven't been back. Good luck!! ------------- Lindsey
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Posted By: JessDub
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 7:55am
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It's a little blurry (even though less than three years ago) and can't recall if we needed CIO for DS for his day sleeps but we definitely had to resort to it in the evenings.
As a wee baby DS was awake most of the afternoon (believe me, we tried everything to get him to nap) and so he was overtired and a MESS in the evening. As was I, TBH. So we let him CIO. We would go in and comfort him regularly (5-10 mins) and certainly if he was overwraught and vomiting we wouldn't have continued but otherwise he was left to his own devices. Didn't enjoy it but it worked and only in a few days, the crying shorter and shorter and then he was a brilliant self settler and is to this day. So whatever works for you I say. I was a wreck trying all the other things; feeding to sleep, driving around the streets etc and I had support from the old school - my mum, MW and plunket - to give CIO a go. As DS got a bit older and slipped into bad habits (well, overtired mostly), we would re-employ CIO with success and no having to need any sleep inducements. CIO does not mean you love or cherish or care for your child any less. ETA: DS is the sweetest little boy, currently on my knee giving me tickles so no, I don't think we broke him. ------------- 
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 8:12am
Aint that the truth! Good luck with number 3! ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 8:14am
he sounds like a cutie  Thanks for that jessdub, and good luck with your new bub!------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 9:15am
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I used put the vacuum by Jakes cot and leave it on until he fell asleep... it actually lived in his room until he was about 7 months from memory. His reflux was much better then....
Could it be from reflux? I know Jakes got worse again when he started solids, some foods were a real trigger... -------------
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Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 9:21am
I totally agree with this. I know the research etc etc for not doing it but I think that healthy/happy mum means happy bub. Certainly DD is showing no ill effects from being left to cry sometimes when I was at the end of my tether. I know my mum did the same with me and I turned out ok (I think  ). You've just gotta do what works for you. Everyone's circumstances are different.------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 9:51am
How would I know if it was reflux? I cant see that sh ehas any symptoms that would expect me to think that - but then I havent much experience with it She has radio static softly in her room SO I have decided to check in every 15 mins and at the moment she is very mad about it! ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: maisey
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 10:10am
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 10:21am
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Thanks Maisey, she has just gone quiet - 61 minutes!!! yay but she is on her tummy and sobbing in her sleepyness - poor little dot - I want to pick her up!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: pudgy
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 10:46am
I haven't read the posts after thisone so this has probably already been answered but... SSC stands for soft structured carrier, Manduca, Ergo, Patapum. Most carry up to or more than 20 kg. I don't believe or use sleep training. It's a horrible horrible thing. I think there is waaay to much pressure put on ourselves and our little ones to STTN at a young age. I still wake inthe night so how can I expect my young children not too ? Pareneting is a 24/7 job not just daytime JMO
With DD we used to feed to sleep till she was weaned then pop her in bed. She goes to sleep just fine now though We have a bedtime order ( not time based but just whenever we see her tired signs) so she knows it's bedtime.
Ds has had some issues with being able to lie flat so we have fed rocked and carried to sleep since birth. We do whatever they need to help them off to sleep. It does take some effort but it's the nicest way and they know we are there for them. Right off to read the rest od the posts ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 11:10am
She sleeps through most of the time, and I dont mind getting up to her if she does want a feed or a cuddle, same with my big girl. Wish the big one wasnt too cool to snuggle in bed with me but she hardly ever does! I am a very attentive mum, but I believe that teaching good habits from a young age is good for them, I believe structure and expectation is part of them feeling safe and knowing that Mum is in control and watching out for them. I also think sleep nutrition is just as important as good food so thats just my opinion, its great to have a forum like this to explore other ideas - I definately dont have all the answers and without family support Id be at a loss with what to do sometimes! Thank god for OB Mums! ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 11:51am
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My little pumpkin has just woken up in the best mood! babling in her cot saying mumma - awww cute!!
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 12:19pm
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Do you play any music or white noise? DD was a terrible day sleep once she hit 8 months and since 10 months I've been playing this CD quietly called 'Music for Dreaming' and I have noticed a slight change. I just hired it from the library and keep renewing it (lol) ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: LILLIS
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 12:22pm
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Glad it worked RJ.
I used CIO with DD, after months of being a great sleeper it all went out the window and I just got to the end of my tether with it. I am not on my own but my DP works afternoons so I do the night routine by myself. I read the Sleepsense program and modified it a bit to suit. I found CC didnt work with DD, every time I would go in she would calm down but as soon as I left the room she would start again and even worse than before. Night one took 50 mins - not full on crying but a session of it then quiet, then another session and then quiet etc. Night 2 took 35 mins, Night 3 10 mins, Night 4 nothing! We still have nights now where she crys a little but never longer than 3-4 mins, and most nights she just rolls over and goes to sleep. I dont like to think that I have done anything wrong - she is perfectly healthy and bright and if anything I have helped by teaching her that she can go to sleep without me. good luck RJ - and do whatever works for you - not what other people think is right - they dont know your child like you do. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: millymollymandy
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 12:30pm
| Hi, I used sleep easy solution and had great success with it. I just made a pact that I would just keep going even it if took all night -it didn't. I think for it to work you need to be super consistent and some really good support helps. DD did ramp the crying after I had been in, but gradually she got more comfortable and then got to the stage where if she wakes and is upset a quick cjeck and cuddle gets her back to sleep. And now goes to sleep with no problems, so its worth persisting with it. |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 12:56pm
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lilnic I leave the radio on static so yeah white noise
Millymollymandy - I will keep doing this and see how it goes, I think super consistent is the key - no more snuggly feeds in bed I guess Thanks Lillis - Im home alone for witching hour too - DH gets home about 7.30 . Would be great to have someone on hand to help out but theres not so I guess I will just have to suck it up. Hopefully it works well with her I think bed at 7 will be the hard part - but I will give it a go - hopefully she dosent wake her big sis Thanks so much to everyone for support and ideas!! ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 2:10pm
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WOW!! if i didnt have an angel care monitor I would be freaking out but she is asleep! after 15 mins!! I hope this isnt beginners luck ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 2:16pm
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I have used cio with both boys at some stage. With DS1 when he was about 5 months old and started mucking around in the night - hadn't been fed at night for ages at that point and would be up for hours. First night he cried for about an hour once, second night about 5 mins, third night no wakings and he was back to being his good sleeping self.
With DS2 we did a variation of it at about 7 months for pretty much the same reason. It took him a couple of weeks to completely stop the night wakings, but he would just get hysterical so was more like CC instead. Day sleeps were always tough with DS2 and having a toddler, well you just can't spend all day in there settling so to some degree i left him to cry a lot more than i would've otherwise. For day sleeps i found almost no wind down was best at that age. When i stopped all the shh/patting, singing etc the naps got sooooo much better. What worked best was i would just put him in the cot and walk out straight away. He would scream as if being tortured for about 30 secs and then by the time the door was closed he'd usually stop. I always gave him 5 mins to settle down if he was still grizzling and then go in and give him cuddle, then back down, out the door again. The second time almost always did it if the first didn't. He is the most awesome sleeper now. Never wakes in the night and naps really well with almost no crying ever. In my opinion this is the best thing ever, having a baby who sleeps all night and wakes up refreshed and with a happy mum who has so much energy to give him. I can remember how hard it was tho when every nap was tough and i carried, pushed in pram a lot to try and get some stress free naps. They do get too big for carriers and you do have to spend some time with your toddler without always having the baby attached to you. All i can say hun is i hope one piece of the advice clinches it for you and that this phase will pass soon. At the end of the day they are all phases and do pass - if you can survive them. ps despite my leaving my beloved babies to cry they love me and are happy, healthy, well rested little sausages. I do not believe that you damage your babies by doing cio. I think being a sleep deprived and grumpy mum was worse for their health tbh, cos i am hell on legs when i get to that point. Literally cannot think and not a happy person to be around. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 2:44pm
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Thanks Crafty! I definately agree with happy mum happy baby - Im horrid tired or stressed too
My big girl wasnt quite this bad and learnt really quickly to sleep by herself thorugh the sleep easy technique - she was just much more laid back than Porti, and yeah she still loves me - in fact she is the main reason I needed to sort Portias sleep out, having to share me all the time is crushing her wee spirit and she is such and fanaastic kid I cant bear to watch it, so hopefully we can spend more time together once this is cracked! ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: maisey
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 2:46pm
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Posted By: MamaT
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 3:31pm
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I don't agree with CIO or CC or anything like that so won't go into it.
But, as far as white noise goes. I use static on the radio too and actually have to have it up quite loud to have any effect for DS. Perhaps you need to look at playing with the volume? Also, from about 9-11 months DS went through a terrible sleep stage. He would only sleep if I was holding him, so I resorted to doing just that for his sleeps and eventually he just suddenly outgrew that need and will sleep okish on his own now. Oh, and whoever mentioned their jealousy at 10 hours sleep in a 24 hour period, I wholeheartedly agree. DS has never been much of a sleeper and just doesn't seem to need it. The plunket expectation of 2hours sleep, 1 hour up never ever fitted with us. -------------  
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 4:34pm
That would be ME getting no sleep MamaT lol  And yup it's the older one really...not the baby. C'est la vie though aye. I'll repay the favour when they're teenagers and wanting to sleep in ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 6:09pm
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Yes i felt the same about my toddler. I found myself being short with him over nothing and was sitting around crying and just had no energy or enthusiasm for him. So after trying every damn thing just bit the bullet and did it. It was damn hard but having great sleepers is worth it.
Not all babies do need as much sleep as others but most babies 9-12 months that i personally know would do 10 - 12 overnight as well as 2-5 hrs by day. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 6:41pm
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”6-8 Month Old: About 15-16 hours (say morning & afternoon day-sleeps of 2-2 hours, and overnight sleep of about 10-12 hours).
”9-12 Month Old: About 14-15 hours (say morning & afternoon day sleeps of 1-2 hours, and overnight sleep of about 11-12 hours, eg 7pm-7am). according to kathy fray, why I do know lots of babes dont do what this says - Id like to aim for this, and as I said earlier on, preferably before she climbing around the cot! ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: nannyabbey
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 6:41pm
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Hiya!
Hope your bubs sleeping is going better. I've been a nanny for over ten years and have used all methods depending on the family! Our bubs is seven months and currently been feed/rocked to sleep.....I so don't have the head/heart space as a mum to do anything else at the moment!! but lucky for us it doesn't effect the length of his sleep. half an hour in morning ( I wake him), 1 and a half to two in the afternoon ( i let him go but no longer than 2 hours)and then down for 10-11 hours at night (again I wake him by 6.30 otherwise the day is a shocker!! I home care three days a week and so he needs to fit with a 2yr old). the only thing that seems to be waking him at mo is getting stuck at end of cot! He has been on a schedule pretty much since birth We did used controlled crying/ cry it out when he was 4 months old to get rid of the dummy. So different when its your own child!! I cried about as much as he did! Which is why i want to say if you need someone to come and give you a hand during the day to be your support thru it give me a yell and i'm sure i can work something out! A complete stranger I know but sometimes just having someone encourage you or look at your situation without mummy eyes it can help! even if on the other end of the phone! there are many diff options but the best one for you is the best one for you no matter what other people say! |
Posted By: jano1
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 7:45pm
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I agree, the best option for you is the one that works. The sleepstore has some good reading on why they don't recommend CIO before 9 months old. Having said that I had a terrible day sleeper and it got me so down as I felt like I was spending my whole day trying to get her to sleep. With a toddler in your house, that doesn't sound like an option. If your older girl is missing you that is just as important a consideration.
Sorry that didn't say much but I think you need to go with the option that works best for your family, whatever that is. Happy mum, happy house
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 8:34pm
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I've heard of quite a few toddlers who didn't day sleep at all from about 10 mos. I pity the mothers but obviously some kids need more sleep than others.
Anyway... I know tummy sleeping is discouraged these days but a lot of babies are more comfy on their tummy. It's gentler on their stomach because the esophogas is not so stretched as when they are on their back. If bubs can easily move her head around, suffocation by lying on her tummy is highly unlikely so I don't worry about babies rolling onto their tummy to sleep. ------------- |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 09 February 2011 at 11:55am
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Im not bothered with the tummy sleeping, she hasnt long been out of a wedge so its just new. and she is on an angelcare movement monitor'
she has just gone down, very hard work today, I think her gums are sore ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 09 February 2011 at 1:53pm
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6 mths old in my opinion is too young for CIO. I dont see whats wrong with feeding her to sleep. and if its because you feel the older child is missing out then maybe you cold involve her, get her to bring some books and sit on the couch with you while you feed the baby, or watch a movie together. She had your undivided attention at that age so why cant this one too. oh and if her gums have been sore that could then be why she is getting grumpy at bed time. for some weird reason thats when pain seems to be at its worst babies... and something else that occured to me is you mentioned you just got rid of the wedge, could this maybe explain why she is unsettled now. her familiar bed has changed and she needs to get used to it again? ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 09 February 2011 at 2:15pm
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she hasnt slept today - I have just put her down for the 3rd time - might have to get the pamol out I think, she has had bonjela and weleda teething powder but its not working today
Im not doing cry it out - Im going in every 10 or so mins and shushing her and giving her a quick pat When I say just got rid of the Wegde bizzy, it was infact about a month ago, but I think her she has just figured she can move around in there, and roll herself to sleep on her tum Milla has had all the options you mentioned, its not just feeding to sleep, its once I put her down she sleeps maybe 20 mins, if I want her to get a decent sleep she is attached to me the whole time I guess being first born is a bonus when you get you mumma all to yourself ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 09 February 2011 at 4:12pm
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Has she always had difficulty sleeping during the day? Or is it something she's recently started?
Wondering what if anything has changed. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 09 February 2011 at 4:53pm
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she has always been hard to sleep yeah - totally my fault - but she has always been quite a sucky baby too. I think whats changed is teething, and the last upset coincided with us going away for the weekend at the same time so she once again, needs resetting
I gave her some pamol before I put her down for the third time today and leaned over her , with my face quite close to hers, while she drifted off to sleep, and she slept for almost 2 hours so hopefully that has given her enough rest to drift off at 7 again tonight She did go to sleep after only half an hour of VB lastnight - at 7 which which is quite unheard of, so I think she is getting the idea again - its just hard when she cries soo loudly! ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 09 February 2011 at 5:44pm
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If you're still struggling you could always try these guys http://www.theparentingplace.com/index.php?option=com_jcalpro&Itemid=46&extmode=view&extid=5652 - Parenting Place Sleep Seminar
It seems their sleep habits are forever changing and its our job as Mum's to keep up. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 09 February 2011 at 6:59pm
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LOL Fleur, you're too right. You just think you've conquered one thing, then something else pops up. Blasted little buggers. Good thing they're cute ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 09 February 2011 at 7:41pm
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yeah good thing for sure! She has been a brat tonight, I watched her shaking her head to keep herself awake, banging her binky on the cot , no tears but lots of noise
so anyway change of tactic, since her gums are sore I figured It was a bit mean unless I wan to keep dosing her up on pamol which I dont, so I put her in a sleeping bag, gave her a good feed, winded her, put her straight down on her tum and patted her back, she fell asleep almost immediately! Id imagine that she is exhausted since she only had one nap today, and it might not work tomorrow but for now she is asleep Last night she went down at 7.09, was shushed twice and asleep by 7.37, and didnt wake til 6 this morning! Im busy on the 15th , but will consider that info session next time she moves the goal poast, thanks ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 09 February 2011 at 8:05pm
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that's great raspberry that you are getting some success with settling and a nice long nap. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 10 February 2011 at 9:16am
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thanks crafty, fx is stays this way! ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: chocol8
Date Posted: 10 February 2011 at 9:09pm
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Just wanted to say good luck RaspberryJam, hang in there, you and bubs will work it out together soon I'm sure. Sounds like you are a very loving Mum who cares very much about her girls. I hope your wee one starts getting some sleep soon...PS my wee girl is called Milla too - we have great taste in names
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 11 February 2011 at 10:48am
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Thanks to everyone - she is sleeping 'like a baby' couldnt have handled the last few days without you!
Rilla we do have fabulous taste in names! ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: QTMum
Date Posted: 11 February 2011 at 9:24pm
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DS used to need to be feed to slepp and then I would need to carefully try and transfer him without waking him up or we would have to start again. At 8 months we decided that something had to change so we started with CC which seemed to make things worse.
So we decided to try CIO and it solved all of our problems. It took a week and yes it was hard on all of us but after that he started going down without any tears at all and as soon as this happened he also dropped the night sleeps and started sleeping 12 hours. Best thing we ever did. We have a happy, cruisy well adjusted little boy and have never had any sleep problems since doing CIO. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: yermasyada
Date Posted: 12 February 2011 at 3:59pm
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Just thought I'd chip in on this thread.
We were blessed with an AMAZING sleeper. I put it down to his hammock (best purchase ever!) but the fact he was swaddled also helped. Sooooo when the time came to loose the swaddle at 7 months, his sleep suffered a little. Not much, just waking up a bit too early (he's always gone to bed at 6.30pm). Then we went on holiday for 4 weeks and I fed him to sleep (mainly due to the 4 days it took us just to travel to Edinburgh!). When we came back he caught a bug, then he got his first tooth (now has two :)) and then he learned to crawl! To cut a long story short, he wasn't settling for naps and sleep and was waking once or twice in the night. Last week we decided we needed to get back on track and decided that I wasn't going to offer boob or rock him to sleep. On the first night he chatted to himself for 30mins before starting to growl. After about 20mins, he started to cry and then 10mins later I went in, spoke to him to reassure him (although I think VR is more for parents!) and then left the room. I had to go in twice more, but on the last time I gave him a hug. He was asleep by 8.30pm and slept all night. The second night, he did the same thing of chatting for 30mins, then cried. I went in after 10mins and gave him a hug. 10 kins later he was asleep. On the third night, he was asleep within 20mins of just chatting to himself 
I think the first night was the worse, because you HAVE to be consistent. I had a glass of wine that night
Just offering support really. It's hard, but sometimes it doesn't take very long to sort out and at the end of it, you have a content ickle bubba who knows how to settle himself and can happily sleep all through the night He's also been a gem with his naps too.
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 12 February 2011 at 8:57pm
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Thanks I needed that today, she was a right monkey tonight, I had to give her pamol, she has cut another tooth today and 2 more on their way - four in a matter of days is awful - and she is cross cutting
Poor wee dot - but she is sound asleep now and Im sure that a decent sleep will make her feel a bit better ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: Mummy2twobubbas
Date Posted: 15 February 2011 at 11:21am
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Hi Everyone,
How are you all today? Ive got a 4 1/2 month old boy, he is such a wonderful, loving smiley baby. I need to get him to sleep in his cot durning the day, he is great at night and sleeps from 10/10.30pm to 6am. Due to being me being in hospital a couple of times when he was young I have had to get him to sleep in my arms with a dummy. As I didnt want all the other patients to hear him crying in the night and especially as most of them had operations etc. But now is the time and I really need to do something about it as I would like to do things around the house instead of sitting there with him on my knee most of the day. (He can sleep on my knee for and hour/hour and a half) I know I shouldnt have let this go on this long but it was easy to do this at the time. Please please can anyone help? Tips anyone? It would be much appreciated.
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 15 February 2011 at 1:53pm
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What happens when you try to get him to sleep in the cot with your hand on him and the dummy in? Or can you slowly ease him down into the cot when sleepy and then do as above?
Another way is the swaddle, white noise, shh/pat sort of thing, do you use any of that? It sounds like he is a good sleeper to be doing so well at night so either way it shouldn't be too hard. My DS1 was a good sleeper and loved to sleep so even when we had formed some bad habits it was pretty easy to change them, DS2 is a different story. So that's good news for you anyway! I used the Sharlene Poole shunting method with DS2 and that was great. You roll them on their side and shunt their bum till they're sleepy. I think the idea with all these methods is to make sure that baby is well fed, and is tired and then to put them in the cot and use these other things to try and distract them from any freaking out by the rhythm of patting/shhing/shunting/white noise etc. Your presence can be comforting (but also with some babies distracting). Where in NZ are you? The Parenting Place in Auck has some good speakers about settling techniques. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Mummy2twobubbas
Date Posted: 16 February 2011 at 4:18pm
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Hi Crafty1
Thanks so much for the advice, I put it into practise yesterday. Wow! You were right about him being a good sleeper and he took to it quiet easily. As expected he did cry for about 5-10 mins but it didnt take as long as what I thought it would take. At first I gave him a kiss and said sleep time n went out of the room. He cryed for about 5-10 mins then I went back in and put him on his side and put the dummy in and rocked/shunted him till he was almost asleep then rolled him on his back and let the dummy pop out. Normally he would only go to sleep in his cot for 30mins but yesterday he slept for 40 and 1hr 40min this afternoon. Thankyou so much, its great! Hope your having a good day.
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Posted By: Mummy2twobubbas
Date Posted: 16 February 2011 at 4:53pm
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Opps sorry Crafty1, im on the north shore, albany/browns bay area.
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 16 February 2011 at 6:32pm
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That's great Dee, glad it worked for you. You can get a lot more done when the baby is in their own bed! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 17 February 2011 at 11:40am
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you should go into business crafty!! youd make millions!! ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 17 February 2011 at 12:26pm
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But then i'd have to live the life of the rich and famous and where would be the fun in that.
Hows your bub raspberry? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: thetravelbugtribe
Date Posted: 02 June 2011 at 3:32pm
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Hi all,
Raspberryjam - I feel for you, my bubs is exactly the same. She sleeps fine at night 11-12 hours with one wake for a feed, but is a shocker during the day, always has been. For a while I was ok with rocking / feeding to sleep, but I want to get away from that and get her to self settle. I am not keen on the CIO method, but controlled crying sounds better. I've read all the posts and tips, and will try a mix of CC, VR and putting her on her side and patting her bum. And try and become a staunch mum who doesnt cry too much cos her bubs is crying. I would really appreciate a PM (or a post here) with a summary of what you tried and how it worked. I'm not quite at the end of my tether, but its getting close. Thanks. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 04 June 2011 at 9:27pm
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oops sorry I forgot about this...
so this is never ending!!! I am actually just leaving her in her bed to cry now though, so I have 'mumed up', it usually only lasts 20 mins tops, but if it goes wrong it goes sooo wrong and I cant bear it so I pick her up, but its only if her cry i such that I feel her pain. Cant stand the thought of her thinking i dont love her I have put her in her sisters room, she is almost as bad at three!! so they can just cream at each other - lol, no my thinking is they have company and so far they havent woken each other up SO what has worked for me so far is routine, so she is down at 9.30 / 10.00 and again at 1.30 / 2.00 - although the afternoon sleep is usually the one that goes wrong so I dont think Im up to telling you how toos twotravelbugs, but I did have a good read of the sleep store discussion page again just the other day actually and it really helpful so maybe check it out? One thing though..Crafty, if she has been down for a little while and I know she has no wind do you just resettle them or ignore them and hope they go to sleep or just get em up? ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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