What would u do ?
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37838
Printed Date: 27 August 2025 at 5:45pm
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Topic: What would u do ?
Posted By: Bubie
Subject: What would u do ?
Date Posted: 02 February 2011 at 9:39pm
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It's my birthday soon, and valentines day is also coming up, so as a gift for my DP on valentines day i was going to take him away with me and DS for the night 2 hours away from where we live and also as a nice break away for my birthday. I mentioned this to DP tonight and as he plays cricket on a saturday untill about 8pm at night he said he wouldnt be missing out on his cricket game for anything as he hasn't missed a game all season. ! He cant get any days off work just yet so it means a sat night is the only night we can get away somewhere and i wanted to go somewhere different, im quite upset and abit annoyed about it all, i thought he wouldnt mind missing only 1 game for something like this ...
Am i over reacting and what would u do ?  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 02 February 2011 at 9:47pm
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Unfortunately my DP is the same with speedway, my birthday happens to fall right when the season is picking up, and I just have to put up with it. Sometimes we go away for the weekend around my birthday, but only if it coincides with an out of town meeting!
Can you do something similar but delay it til the season is over, or when he can get time off? ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003  
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Posted By: bext1
Date Posted: 02 February 2011 at 9:53pm
drop a rock on his foot accidentally, can't play cricket injured  ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Bubie
Date Posted: 02 February 2011 at 9:55pm
Yeah we could do that, he would be able to get time off soonish, i was just so surprised when he said he wouldnt miss it for anything not important, kinda sad for me.. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bubie
Date Posted: 02 February 2011 at 9:56pm
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Haha like the rock idea, but he seems to play weather he is sick or injured, unless he was in a cast of course and was in utter pain lol ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 02 February 2011 at 10:19pm
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I would be really disappointed too. Sometimes my DH takes a while to come around to my ideas. Maybe you could mention it to him again, explin why you want to go, where etc and then just ask that he at least think about it and leave it at that. he may come around ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: bopmum
Date Posted: 02 February 2011 at 10:29pm
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hahaha at the rock idea!
Is he the kind of guy who may have secretly organised a surprise for you already? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kiwi2
Date Posted: 02 February 2011 at 10:50pm
| I just don't think they think about the impact of their words. Talk to him about it. Tell him how it made you feel and if there is anyway you guys can work it as you feel it is important and want to spend time with him. |
Posted By: Chickaboo
Date Posted: 02 February 2011 at 11:17pm
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ah yes the cricket widow - been there done that - it has taken nearly 10 years but this year he will drop a game o cricket for us - mind you was one of the conditions if we had #4 (which we did)
I feel for you and I don't have much advise - although Cricket doesn't play till 8pm- only thing I can say is - can he leave a little bit early if you were keen - or a day out instead? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
876 |
Posted By: Chickaboo
Date Posted: 02 February 2011 at 11:18pm
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oh and the question was what would you do:
I would sulk, argue and basically make sure i got my own way or if not made him pay for it LOL  (abstain maybe )------------- http://lilypie.com">
876 |
Posted By: astral_monkey
Date Posted: 03 February 2011 at 8:45am
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I would suggest you go out to dinner for your birthday, and go away another weekend - this way you get two birthday treats!
If it were something like a wedding or funeral I'm sure your DP would skip cricket, but a weekend away is more flexible. Personally, I respect him honoring his commitment to his team. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 03 February 2011 at 9:03am
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frankly you should have realised that he wouldnt give up cricket for valentines day. Men dont care about valentines day anyway for a start. and its not much of a break if you have your child with you too anyway. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 03 February 2011 at 9:24am
When's your bday? Can you go the weekend before or after? We don't celebrate valentine's as our wedding anniversary is a week after. It's just a date...make your own special day 
Also, I'd brainstorm with him and see if he's interested, why/why not, what he'd prefer. If it was my DH he'd say, I have time with you guys all the time. Can I just have you? And can we do something fun instead of just talk and eat? LOL -------------  |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 03 February 2011 at 9:24am
hahah funny! not particularly helpful though ------------- |
Chickaboo wrote:Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 03 February 2011 at 10:27am
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i'd be pissed off, cricket more important than me? hell no.
However, I am lucky to be married to the most adoring husband in the world, he would drop anything if it meant my happiness.....so I dont actually know what to do in your situation,but I definitely think you should talk to him about it, and let him know how his words (which he probably didn't really think about,cos,well guys are simple creatures ) hurt your feelings ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Jaune
Date Posted: 03 February 2011 at 10:53am
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We have the same issue in our household but it's rugby, not cricket! AND we have to watch all the games on TV! (wish he'd just pick 1 team to support!)
Anyway, I've just come to the conclusion that rugby and his time with the boys is something he likes to do...and possibly needs to do. I just work things around it and don't expect him to miss games. Makes for a much more pleasant situation. Not that it doesn't totally annoy me and piss me off completely - but I just pick my battles. You can do it another weekend... But make sure he's aware that not doing it when you wanted to is a compromise on your part and he'll be expected to do the same at some stage. As for Valentines Day...my DP thinks it's just a joke. We don't do anything at all, it's just another day...as much as I would love flowers and jewellry, he's not that guy...but I knew that when I fell in love with him. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 03 February 2011 at 11:22am
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Out of curiosity, was he playing cricket when you guys met?? If so, then you cant really expect him to drop something he has a long-term commitment to just because its what you want... DP has been into speedway since he was in nappies (started going at 6 months old!) so when something comes up that I want to go to, I either go alone, or try and work around the speedway calendar... its just a part of who he is, and its not up to me to change that.
However, he knows that I compromise a LOT in our relationship as its not just speedway I have to work around (hell, he even went out of town for the weekend while I was in hospital having my gallbladder removed, and had to get a friend to stay the night with me to help with Jae the night I came out), but League as well (no budging him from the couch if the SoO is on, Broncos are playing, or during the semis, or grand final!) so when something really important comes up (birthdays dont count as they come every year lol), he will do his best to juggle his stuff around to accomodate me, and on the weekends that nothing is on, he will spend that time with us doing what I want to do (makes a change lol) ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003
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Posted By: LG
Date Posted: 03 February 2011 at 1:29pm
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Its the same here with rugby, DH wouldnt miss a game for anything either (ive asked him if he can miss a few games once number 2 arrives so hes not gone to training 2 nights a week and all day saturday and its out of the question apparantly). So i have no advice, other than to say i know how you feel.
And i laughed at the rock idea, will keep that up my sleeve haha -------------  Angel Baby Aug '12, Feb '13 |
Posted By: tiptoes
Date Posted: 03 February 2011 at 1:37pm
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We had this problem with some of DH's mates for our wedding. They all tried to say they'd rock up after the game. We told them they came for the whole thing or not at all (so they came for it all). So I can understand your annoyance that he can't skip one day out of the whole season for your birthday and really after a big year with having a baby surely you deserve a nice treat?
If you were asking him to skip it regularly then fair enough if he's committed to it, but a oncer in the season I think maybe he needs to bend his rules, as he's getting that massive amount of time out to spend with his mates every weekend. Surely when it's your birthday you deserve a bit of pampering too? ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">  
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Posted By: Kellyfer
Date Posted: 03 February 2011 at 2:06pm
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Buy some really nice lingerie (like smoking hot!), leave it lying somewhere conspicuous (maybe not too conspicuous, but somewhere he will see it). When he asks about it/ notices it say, "oh, I was planning to wear it when we went away for our romantic v.day weekend, but since we're not going I guess I'll just return it".
Or drop a rock on his foot, I liked that idea too. :P ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Chickaboo
Date Posted: 03 February 2011 at 2:22pm
LOl I know
As for the valentines day - I wouldn't get my Dh to not play cricket for that alone (like busymum we don't celebrate Vday as our anniversary is not long after wards) but its your birthday and a trip away (which most people can only do during weekends with work commitments etc..) I think in every relationship there should be some give and take and also flexibility. If its important to you and you don't ALWAY ask him to skip cricket (cause they need it) then once a season should be 'allowed' whether he has always done it pre you or not. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
876 |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 03 February 2011 at 2:44pm
...what will he do if baby decides to arrive on the day he has his games, haha, he might have to miss one anyway  -------------
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 03 February 2011 at 7:35pm
I agree! ------------- Lindsey
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 03 February 2011 at 7:40pm
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Well although its a nice thought, id hope my DH wouldnt want me to give up my sport during the season for a night away somewhere, id hope that he would organise around my chosen sport.
So .. I would in turn not expect my partner to miss out on his sport and I would plan around it. Believe me, thats just what I do .. his stuff is on the calender, my stuff is on the calender, the kids stuff is on the calender and I plan MONTHS ahead in the gaps that are left lol. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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